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Olive Garden tonight!
Mar 16, 2015

This is American style.
French style. Japanese style.
Italian, specifically Naples style.
The world's fingers for
'FUCK OFF'.


3! Bring in our Big Beautiful Beefy Boy, aka B4, aka 'Beefer'

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LucyWanabe
Nov 4, 2009


1.

Elfface
Nov 14, 2010

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

7. Six but with kissing.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.




Look at their stupid faces. Too slow! A million years to slow! You smiled and reached your hands out towards them like you were gripping a steering wheel, then twisted. They fumbled for their guns and...

3d6 = 14 vs. 4d6 = 17 [Momentum Lost!]

...got them out and started shooting at you oh poo poo! You threw yourself against a wall, protected from their bullets by a twisted sheet of metal, and sighed out the rest of your stolen fire. Ah, easy come easy go. Well now, this was familiar. Pinned down by gunfire, crouched behind a wall. Even through the gunfire, you could hear them calling for groups to advance on your position. You were in a tight spot, yet again, but you weren’t out of options.
    1. Jump Back Down The Hole [Difficulty 1, Momentum -0]
    The hole still glowed around the edges, but you had it on good authority that there wouldn’t be anyone alive down there! Time to bail!
    2. Catch The Bullets In The Air [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    You saw this in a movie once. Hold up your hand and stop all the bullets flying towards you. If it works, you’ll look really cool. Otherwise, you’re not going to have a good time.
    3. Jam Their Guns [Difficulty 2, Momentum +0]
    Spray a wave of metal dust at them and jam their guns. It’ll either take them out of commission entirely or cut down their effectiveness.
    4. Swap Bodies [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    Switch bodies with One. Your ‘Nisa’ body will definitely get holepunched, but just knowing that One will be in there is satisfying enough! Besides, you can get your body back later if you feel like it.
    5. Total Vacuum [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    Pull the air out of the room. That won’t stop the bullets firing, but it ought to, uh, distract the soldiers a little bit!
    6. Tiny Nuclear Explosion [Difficulty 5, Momentum +3]
    Just a little one! Flood the hallway with plasma and radioactive death, killing all your assailants, probably destroying a goodly portion of the boat, and giving you a healthy glow.
    7.Write In [Difficulty ?]
    Write anything. A few short sentences at most - I’ll assign it a Difficulty.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Elfface posted:

7. Six but with kissing.

*looks up what #6 was*

Olive Garden tonight!
Mar 16, 2015

This is American style.
French style. Japanese style.
Italian, specifically Naples style.
The world's fingers for
'FUCK OFF'.


4.

LucyWanabe
Nov 4, 2009


5. What's wrong, guys? Can't breathe?

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


5

TheFireMagi
Nov 6, 2011

...She's behind me, isn't she?

Well, it was worth a shot

5

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014


7: punch your cover, sending nisa-shaped statues flying out the other side at supersonic speeds.

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




5

JimsonTheBetrayer
Oct 13, 2010

Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.


Magnusth posted:

7: punch your cover, sending nisa-shaped statues flying out the other side at supersonic speeds.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.




You waited until the gunfire died down fractionally, then waved a hand at them. You were greeted by a renewed burst of fire, but also something else, something they weren't expecting. You grinned.

3d6 = 12 vs. 3d6 = 10 [Momentum Gained! Momentum at +1!]

A wave of fire spread from their guns, passing through the air with a muted whoomph - and then there was silence. Oh, they kept firing, for a second or so, but soon they dropped their guns and pulled at their collars, unstrapping their helmets in a futile attempt to find air. The momentary blaze had consumed it all like a hungry wolf, leaving nothing at all for them. They couldn’t even scream for mercy. You watched them impassively as they fell floor without a sound. In the end, One and Two (you found him later) died without any fanfare (again). You kicked them for good measure as you walked by.

Air trickled back as you paced back and forth amongst the dead, and eventually you heard that you had been humming. You counted - including the dead downstairs - twelve mercenaries. You wracked your brain (and Alan’s memories) to find a count, but besides references to ‘his friends’, he didn’t give numbers. Notable, however, was a lack of this Commander Biros. Your eyes fell upon their radios, and you shrugged. You had options.
    1. Call Him Out [Difficulty 1, Momentum -1]
    Pick up a radio and ask for him. Simple. Too simple.
    2. Ping All Linked Radios [Difficulty 2, Momentum +0]
    Using one radio, find all other radios tuned to this frequency on the ship. This ought to find you the rest of the mercenaries, with maybe a few false positives here and there.
    3. Delve Their Memories [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    Link them all up into one processing mass and then query it like it was some sort of meat computer. Get some actual details about what’s going on around here. (Like what? Ask questions and they’ll answer as best they can)
    4. Expand And Collapse [Difficulty 4, Momentum +2]
    Turn all the radios on full blast, then leap into them bodily. You’ll emerge at the location of all linked radios simultaneously - and when you find Biros (or something else equally interesting), all the others will pop. If nothing else, you’ll get extremely quick momentary recon of the ship.
    5. Zombie Army [Difficulty 4, Momentum +2]
    Look at all this material. You could use some more allies in this.
    6. Awaken Burgolem [Difficulty ???, Lose 1d6]
    Burn off some of your power to awaken your golem with a little bit of self-awareness. It will still follow your commands, but it will also be able to act independently in much the same way you can.
    7.Write In [Difficulty ?]
    Write anything. A few short sentences at most - I’ll assign it a Difficulty.

JimsonTheBetrayer
Oct 13, 2010

Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.


7.
Gather their bodies into a writhing mass. Their suffering will serve as a warning to others.

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014


7. Split their heads from their bodies and give them tiny legs; send them out to explore while you watch through their eyes

Rohan Kishibe
Oct 29, 2011

Frankly, I don't like you
and I never have.


Magnusth posted:

7. Split their heads from their bodies and give them tiny legs; send them out to explore while you watch through their eyes

Good. This.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

3

let's get some intel

nothing to seehere
Nov 11, 2010


3

Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley! DO SOMETHING!

Magnusth posted:

7. Split their heads from their bodies and give them tiny legs; send them out to explore while you watch through their eyes

Haha, holy poo poo. This should be a thing.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




Magnusth posted:

7. Split their heads from their bodies and give them tiny legs; send them out to explore while you watch through their eyes

DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

I fucking hate puzzles.


Magnusth posted:

7. Split their heads from their bodies and give them tiny legs; send them out to explore while you watch through their eyes

This, but craft the tiny legs out of the remains of Burgolem.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



7

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.




You considered your pile of victims (were they really victims if they were trying to machine gun you to death?) as though they were a collection of broken machinery. In many respects, that's exactly what they were. With a strange grin, you stretched out your arms towards them.

3d6+1 = 12 vs. 3d6 = 12 [Nisa wins the tie! Momentum Gained! Momentum at +2!]

Your reaching fingers split then split again, dozens of thin tendrils looping around the limp bodies. With a small tug, you separated heads from necks and hands from wrists, casting aside the rest as useless. With the swift ease of a master sculptor, you knit the pieces into scuttling drones, eager to explore and seek and due for you. You send them out in all directions, their lopsided bodies and all-too-human eyes moving with a grace they lacked in life.

And then you waited. Your consciousness flicked between your proxy bodies, watching through their eyes. Mostly it was dull: terrified workers and security guards, their weapons of little use against the dead flesh of your drones. Even the cargo they encountered in their exploration wasn't noteworthy; mostly food and clothing and livestock. This really WAS a civilian ship. Dimly you felt glad that you had so far avoided non-combatant casualties, though if things kept escalating like this you weren't sure how much longer that would be the case.

At last, one of your drones (Two’s head, coincidentally) found an anomaly with the multi-spectral eyes you had given them. One of the rooms on the upper floors was several degrees colder than the surrounding rooms. You took direct control of the drone and circumnavigated it. It wasn’t a freezer or anything that would be sensible, it looked (to the naked eye) as though it were a private dormitory. EM activity within was abnormal, too. You had the drone leap up to the doorknob and turn it. Locked, but then you heard footsteps from within, and the door opened.

“Τι στο διάολο κάνεις!?” Commander Biros, you presumed. He stumbled back from the doorway, breath fogging in the chilled air. You smiled and launched yourself at him - but then your drone’s skin grew frosty and your vision cracked like a mirror. The shock of it snapped you back to your body and broke your connection with your drones. That wasn’t a coincidence - he did that!
    1. Fire Up Through The Deck At Him [Difficulty 4, Momentum +2]
    Whatever just happened, you know precisely where he is at this moment. Gather a spear of metal from your surroundings and launch it at him magnetically.
    2. Talk To Him Through Radio [Difficulty 1, Momentum -1]
    You have questions and you’re sure he has answers. Ask away! (What do you ask?)
    3. Reestablish Link And Swarm [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    Your drones have gone back to standby, but they’re still there. Regroup them and attack him with the fragmented corpses of his men!
    4. Teleport To His Position [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    You know where he is. You step through the connection and face him directly. Better be cautious - who knows what he’s got up his sleeves?
    5. Rewind Time And Ambush Him [Difficulty 5, Momentum +3]
    That recon could have gone better. You take another shot at it - maybe you can knock and then ambush him with your drone?
    6. Wait Till He Comes To You [Difficulty 0, Momentum -2]
    You’ve knocked on his door. You’ll wait and see if he comes out to play,
    7. Write In [Difficulty ?]
    Write anything. A few short sentences at most - I’ll assign it a Difficulty.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



3 SWARM HIM WITH BIRTHDAY ORAL

ALL CHANT "HAPPY BIRTHDAY "

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

4 so that we can have an over the top superpowered anime brawl with this miniboss guy.

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014


7. Freeze burgolem and throw it through the deck at him. The friction will remove the layer of frost, and he'll be ready to fight one he pummels into Biros

DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

I fucking hate puzzles.


3, but make all the heads chant "You Need Me" as they swarm.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Magnusth posted:

7. Freeze burgolem and throw it through the deck at him. The friction will remove the layer of frost, and he'll be ready to fight one he pummels into Biros
Effectively as difficult as railgunning him, but certainly a hell of a lot louder. Still Difficulty 4, though!

nothing to seehere
Nov 11, 2010


4

Olive Garden tonight!
Mar 16, 2015

This is American style.
French style. Japanese style.
Italian, specifically Naples style.
The world's fingers for
'FUCK OFF'.


3, and there definitely needs to be creepy chanting of some kind.

Going back a few pages...

Birthday Oral posted:

Your name it - or was - Nisa Negu.

I only just realized why this was our last name

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.




The Commander presenting this sort of challenge was wholly unexpected, but ultimately irrelevant. You didn’t need to expose yourself to harm - you still had eleven of the buggers left. You could feel them spread across the ship, tingly like an arm that’s fallen asleep. You snapped your fingers to wake them up.

3d6+2 = 12 vs. 3d6 = 11 [Momentum Gained! Momentum at +3!]

One by one, they came back online, and you sent them scuttling towards your target. You sent nearby one in to make sure he was still in there, chanting “B̶ìr̀o͟s̡b͡iro͢sb̢i̡rosbir̕oşb̶ir͠o҉s̢b́i̴ros͘” in an endless loop. It’s not like it had lungs, so you just forced air through it. Biros pointed his pistol at the creature while dialing his cellphone with the other. He yelled a few short words - a key phrase? - in Greek, then smashed his phone on the deck and fired. The head fell to the ground, crippled, though it still whispered his name and kept staring, keeping you in contact. Biros kicked it into the hall, crushing it as he ran away. Another one down.

You lost him for a moment until another one of the swarmers spotted him in an area open to the sky. The night was overcast, but still, and you could see stars peeking down through gaps in the cloud cover. Plenty of light. The air around him shimmered strangely, the sea spray flashing to snow as it approached him. He wheeled around, trying to keep eyes on the creatures surrounding him from the darkness as they chanted ominously. He looked panicked, and he fired off shot that pinged off the floor, missing One’s head. Down below, you smiled, your eyes glazed over in concetration. Useless.

You directed several to attack him, one leaping into the air and two aiming to tackle his legs. He fired again, missed again, and cowered in fear - and then your beasts struck a thick layer of ice, freezing to its surface in an instant. Biros sloughed off the frozen armor, laughing low in his throat. The bastard was playing with you. He gestured, and the ice formed a whirling torus around him, the speed of it pulling in ever more sea spray. He made a finger gun gesture and fired a spray of frozen needles at another one of the heads, pinning it and freezing it in place. You sent five more at him at once, and the torus of ice flipped its orientation lightning-quick to intercept them. He held one of them up, staring deeply into its eyes as they clouded over with frost, and spoke. To you.

“You wish to intimidate me, κούκλα? You’ll have to try harder than that. Please make this easy on both of us and come up here - we are almost at our rendezvous point. Anthony greatly wishes to speak to you, and it would be a shame if you had the consultation covered head to toe in frostbite, vαί?”

He laughed and crushed it to powder. In an instant, he had demolished your assault, wiping them out to the last. Well, almost. Behind him, the last head whistled, holding his discarded gun awkwardly. He wheeled, and the head spoke with your voice: “I’ll think about it.” He didn’t quite manage to get off a blast of frost before you shot him in the gut.

You blinked, readjusting your eyes to the light, wondering what to do next.
    1. Go Up And Meet Him [Difficulty 1, Momentum -1]
    Alright, he wanted to talk? You’d talk. Run up to meet him.
    2. Boil The Sea [Difficulty 5, Momentum +3]
    He likes ice, eh? Well, let’s see how he’d like this.
    3. Send Burgolem After Him [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    No sense putting yourself in danger. Send your golem up after him. It survived being frozen this long, it’ll probably be fine against the iceman, right?
    4. Cut Away The Space Between You [Difficulty ???, Lose 1d6]
    Burn your powers to utterly destroy him and the space between you. Too easy!
    5. Understand The Message [Difficulty 3, Momentum +1]
    He made a call in a codephrase in a different language. You’re sure you can crack it, but you’ll need some help from whatever was left of your critters.
    6. Gear Up For A Fight [Difficulty 2, Momentum +0]
    Load up on guns, armour, and assorted tools that the mercenaries (still in a pile in front of you) brought with them. Maybe there was danger in “bringing guns to a magic fight”, but that one bullet you hit him with looked like it hurt him well enough!
    7. Write In [Difficulty ?]
    Write anything. A few short sentences at most - I’ll assign it a Difficulty.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Olive Garden tonight! posted:

I only just realized why this was our last name
I know, so subtle eh? I think someone on IRC suggested it and it stuck in my head!

Also, in my head you look like this

because I love Murdoch Mysteries!

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

3

He beat the mooks. RPG logic dictates we now send the miniboss before the final showdown.

DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

I fucking hate puzzles.


7) Detonate the surviving head like a grenade

Olive Garden tonight!
Mar 16, 2015

This is American style.
French style. Japanese style.
Italian, specifically Naples style.
The world's fingers for
'FUCK OFF'.


The guy's name is 'fire', but he uses ice?

3. Now or never, it's Beefer's time to shine. Make me proud.

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014


7. Transform the heads into pools of boiling living blood that try to pour themselves down his throat

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



7. Drive the boat backward

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Alright, no consensus so far, cool, cool.

Nyaa posted:

7. Drive the boat backward
It's a big boat and it would like to continue forward, but it's just a dumb machine - you can probably convince it! Difficulty 4.

Magnusth posted:

7. Transform the heads into pools of boiling living blood that try to pour themselves down his throat
Gross and possible! Difficulty 3.

DeathSandwich posted:

7) Detonate the surviving head like a grenade
None of the heads survived, but that doesn't mean you can't blow the most-recently-frozen one up - Difficulty 3. Or, I guess, all of them - Difficulty 4.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Or control the ship capt to turn the ship around.

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Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Nyaa posted:

Or control the ship capt to turn the ship around.
True enough - Difficulty 3, and it'll take quite a while to turn the thing around!

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