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americong
May 29, 2013


Yay I'm all verified!

Dear Santa:

I'm an early-20s goon who lives with a partner and a pair of cats. NSFW and 420 are fine. I'm vegetarian, but my partner isn't - so I guess if you send that stuff, she'll be the one eating it.

I like things that can be used, consumed, worn, or the like. Shirt size unisex L.

I don't like mantelpieces. Don't feel super limited by this though!

Dear Santee:

I hope I don't h*ck it up. Your gift will be better if you give me some tips.

:synpa:

americong fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Nov 13, 2016

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luloo123
Aug 25, 2008
Dear Santa,
I'm a 37 11/12ths year old lady goon. I'm a food anthropology graduate student hopefully within a hair's breadth of graduating with my PhD. When I'm procrastinating, I make things with fabric and yarn. I like food but don't eat mammals. Booze and NSFW stuff is A-OK with me. I have an obsession with regional foods, cookbooks, Lego, and hockey, but I'll be delighted with anything you send.
Love,
Luloo

Dear Santee,
I hope you like penises.
Love,
Luloo

Crux
Apr 9, 2007



Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

Sorry.
tiaz was my santa last year. What a hero! I'm in a slightly better place than I was last year, so my victim should be on the lookout for some wild and crazy gifts!

This is like my 6th or 7th SASS or something. I look forward to it every year, and occasionally spam tiaz' server with bogus page requests when I load up my bookmark in June or whatever.

I'm a general goonling-type dude, love sweets and spicies, into the nerdiest of poo poo. Nightvale, Talking Heads, Protomen, video games, goofy comedy, hard liquor, pot, caffeine, cthulhu, silly things and all kinds of other silliness.

Santee: I'm going to spend more on you than I will my family. Open your gift-hole wide, because I'm coming in hard.

Also: This hasn't been posted yet, so enjoy my favorite piece of stationary.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
gently caress YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.


Firstly,

Dear Santa,

I am a ladygoon who lives with lots of cats. No really, I foster and rescue cats and kittens but those ungrateful bastards always destroy their toys. Some new cat toys, like laser lights, or little crinkly balls, or catnip toys shaped like penises would be awesome.

I am a Pokemon Go player (TEAM VALOR BITCHES!) so I don't know, Pokemon stuff is good. I do Pokecache at local parks for the kids.

I have lots of tropical fish! So if you work at a pet store, easy to do SASS! I can always use airline tubing, airstones, air pumps, Prime, decor, etc.

BUT if you are a crafty goon, I love that too. Handmade is awesome! I still have a snake scarf knitted for me years back, and an awesome Dia de Los Muertos lady decor snake painting. Size 2xl if that counts because while Pokemon Go helps me lose weight, it's not lipo. NSFW is fine.

I have been super good this year, Santa! I even learned murder math! Why dig a six foot hole when you can dig six one foot holes?

Love,
Cowslips Warren


Dear Santee,

I have had some awesome Santees in the past. And then I have had chucklefucks who never posted, even in this thread, and were lurkers. I am done sending those Santees anything cool. So do not be a dick or you will get dollar store crap, the kind the dollar store even marks down because no one will pay a dollar for it. I will drive to the ghetto for the worst poo poo. You are warned.

Love,
Cowslips Warren

Asiina
Apr 26, 2011

No going back
Grimey Drawer
Hells yeah Santa!

Dear Santa,

I am a 32 (ugh) year old Lady Goon. I am like, pathetically easy to stalk. I have a unique name and the same internet username basically everywhere. You can find me and the things I like super easily. That said, while I do have various wishlists out there, I much prefer homemade or local things. I like vidya games (I still play dota and league, along with various new games as they come out if I can afford them). I like jewelry. I have way too many earrings, but bracelets and pendants are always nice to cycle in. I like art and always try to find new places on my walls to hang paintings, although I'm too old for posters really at this point in my life. I play DnD on a fairly regular basis. I enjoy the McElroy family of podcast and youtube series (MBMBaM, Rose Buddies, The Adventure Zone, Monster Factory, Car Boys, etc.). If you do even a tiny amount of stalking you will discover my obsession with Hamilton and Lin-Manuel Miranda. If you can find something related to that I will treasure it forever, but be aware I already have basically all the official related books and albums (including the soon to be released mixtape). I'm a PhD student in Education and Psychology with a focus on math cognition, so if that turns into a gift then good for you for making it giftable! I have two cats so if you want to get them stuff, that's cool, but they're already spoiled so don't feel obligated.

I will ask for no clothing. I already have an overflowing closet and cannot responsibly add anything else to it. Also please no alcohol and I try to limit my sugar intake. I enjoy a variety of caffeine free teas, which includes a lot of herbal teas, so if you feel the deep need to get me some sort of food/drink then that's always a good option, but again not super necessary.

I'm real easy to please, and will honestly like just about anything if it looks like you put some thought into it.


Dear Santee,

Cowslips Warren posted:

Dear Santee,

I have had some awesome Santees in the past. And then I have had chucklefucks who never posted, even in this thread, and were lurkers. I am done sending those Santees anything cool. So do not be a dick or you will get dollar store crap, the kind the dollar store even marks down because no one will pay a dollar for it. I will drive to the ghetto for the worst poo poo. You are warned.

Love,
Cowslips Warren

Basically this. I am a crafty motherfucker and I make personalized stuffed figures (often pokemon or other creatures related to things you like) for my santees. I also stuff whatever box I can find to the brim with cool and delicious food. That said, if you never post in this thread and have like 3 posts total in the last 5 years (like previous santees I've had) I am going to phone it the gently caress in. So make a post and make your desires known and I will make you something super cool and awesome that you will cherish forever, or don't and I'll get you some random crap you can get anywhere.

Battle Pigeon
Nov 7, 2011

I am dancing potato
give me millet


Second SASSmas for me, last year went pretty well (esp for my Santee, seeing them post their stuff and what they thought was super cool), here's hoping this year will be even better!

Santa: Brit goon living elsewhere, 20s. As you may have gathered if you've taken even the slightest glance at my posts, I shitpost about birds (and a dumb mobile game?) a ton, my three in particular. They are all Good Boys and last year got tiny hand knitted hats, which unfortunately were too big for them-

http://i.imgur.com/aMqETuT.jpg?1 http://i.imgur.com/H8ZaHdC.jpg?1 http://i.imgur.com/57IQQTB.jpg?1

That's the bar set. Totally unrelated, did you know they make hoodies for parrots too? They also wouldn't mind a shower perch or any long lasting foraging toys, but aren't interested in food items.

Other interests: Fantasy and sci-fi (films, books, art, TV, games, whatever) are my thing. I do art, both digital and traditional (mostly watercolour and pencils), so supplies or that openCanvas6 license or whatever else are all good. Artbooks, especially for video games or films where they show concept art and sketches and designs of beasties or props and how they progress, are the best. My shelves have a few dinosaur and other interesting animal figurines for references and could always use more. Videogames and related items are cool but I'm a poor so don't have anything recent, console or game-currently playing through my first Zelda, OoT 3D, and it's been awesome so far. Interested in board games but don't have any, also interested in pen+paper RPGs but language barrier still makes it too difficult to play locally, so get my fix through podcasts like The Adventure Zone (the McElroy brothers are too good for this world)

Feel free to send NSFW stuff like a Dildomancer original but nothing that will upset customs please. Handmade things and local snacks or tat etc are totally fine. Size M shirts (possibly S if from US), can send things for a goon or goonette, send a message via the SASS site if you're still baffled

Hell no: Liquorice, live bees, glitter and anything similar

Santee: Set your sights low and your standards lower. You'll get good stuff but much less so if you haven't posted any ideas to go on.

Battle Pigeon fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Nov 25, 2016

Stabitha
Mar 11, 2005

You lookin' at me? Don't.
It's not Christmas without SA Secret Santa! I posted about being involved in this on Facebook yesterday and found out that two of my friends are also goons! I didn't even know.

I always try to add some local items to my Santee's present so I hope you like that sort of thing, but I will do my best to find you something you like as well!

Here's a little about me for Santa:

- I'm 31 (almost 32) and female
- I've been involved in the theatre arts for over 10 years and specialize in props
- I'm currently a caregiver for my grandma
- I LOVE cats (like cat lady status)
- I have two cats A boy named Martooni and a girl named Smokie
- I'm also interested in anything retro, vintage, midcentury modern
- I enjoy alcohol and especially like bourbon and craft beers.
- I enjoy horror films and zombies
- I like to bake and have a cupcake blog http://shaneskillercupcakes.com/
- I'm crazy about Halloween and look forward to it every year
- I also LOVE handmade items
- I would love to receive local items from where you live
- I like candy (especially chocolate)
- Don't have any food allergies as far as I know
- NSFW is fine as long as it's inside the package
- If you're completely stumped and need some inspiration, you can browse my Amazon wish list (but don't feel obligated to buy anything from it) http://amzn.com/w/ITFHWAHCJIJP

In general, Santa, I'm pretty easy-going about what I receive. As long as you put some thought and effort into it, I'll be happy. You do what you think is best. If you send clothing items, I can fit in clothing between a Med. and an XL, so it's a little hard to find clothing that fits right, but it's up to you.

If you need some questions answered, please shoot me a message on the SASS site (when that's available), and I'll be sure to respond as soon as possible. Looking forward to receiving your gift, Santa!

Droogie
Mar 21, 2007

But what I do
I do
because I like to do.




Cowslips Warren posted:

Dear Santee,

I have had some awesome Santees in the past. And then I have had chucklefucks who never posted, even in this thread, and were lurkers. I am done sending those Santees anything cool. So do not be a dick or you will get dollar store crap, the kind the dollar store even marks down because no one will pay a dollar for it. I will drive to the ghetto for the worst poo poo. You are warned.

I also want to say this. A million god drat times this. I know I'm a lurker, but I'm out in force for SASS. If you lurk, that's cool, but if you are silent and don't post, and don't post your little bio in this thread by the time assignments are assigned, then gently caress you. I'll send you some stuff, but I'm not going to paint something, I'm going to put in the effort you do. If you are a decent human and say "hey, this is me, I like 'x,'" then you win as a person.

Karma Comedian
Feb 2, 2012


I would like an art

Question Mark Mound
Jun 14, 2006

Tokyo Crystal Mew
Dancing Godzilla
Just noticed that I haven't posted an about-me yet!

30 year old male dweeb (31 come Christmas time) recovering anime fan. I don't watch anything any more but I still really like a lot of Japanese pop culture aesthetics. On that note, I'll be out of the country from the 23rd Dec until 23rd Jan in Japan of all places - so sadly I won't be able to wait until Christmas Day to open your presents!

I don't get to play video games as much as I used to but still try to make some time here and there - trying to get through my Steam back catalogue at the moment. I also very occasionally play D&D with friends, mostly on roll20 rather than in -person lately.

Closing-wise, I vary between a Small and Medium t-shirt in UK sizes, depending on the fit of the shirt and how much snacking I've been doing that month. Not really into pop/nerd-culture t-shirts, I think I have about 10 different shops all blocked on Facebook since apparently my friends love sharing every last one of them!

Currently working in graphic design at a lawnmower sales shop, despite having literally zero interest in gardening or lawnmowers.

I've two huskies - Oscar and Sabrina, brother and sister. Their mother sadly passed away this year (P.S. Santa from last year, thank you again for the doggie stuff!)

Not a huge drinker, I tend to like stuff that's more sweet and doesn't taste much like alcohol - Rekorderlig, Kopparberg, even stuff like WKD. Pleasant taste trumps credibility!

I listen to way too many podcasts. A few top favourites are Giant Bomb's Bombcast, The Adventure Zone and Dumb White Guy w/ Brendon Burns.

I'd link to my Amazon wishlist but everything on there is way too expensive and wouldn't be fair!

Though basically, ignore everything I've written above and go for anything you think is coolsies!

ass
Sep 22, 2011
Young Orc

Droogie posted:

I also want to say this. A million god drat times this. I know I'm a lurker, but I'm out in force for SASS. If you lurk, that's cool, but if you are silent and don't post, and don't post your little bio in this thread by the time assignments are assigned, then gently caress you. I'll send you some stuff, but I'm not going to paint something, I'm going to put in the effort you do. If you are a decent human and say "hey, this is me, I like 'x,'" then you win as a person.

Your santee can definitely share their "about me" to you privately on Tiaz's site. That's what I've always done.

30 Goddamned Dicks
Sep 8, 2010

I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.
Fun Shoe
Helooooo thread!!!!

I love SASS! This year I actually have some cash to spend and I am hoping to get something crazy awesome for my santee!!!

About me:

33/female/ live in Washington DC

I dig local stuff from wherever local to you is! Local food, candy, magazines, souvenir stuff is always cool. I dig art if art is something you do. I like sparkly things and funny socks. My hobbies are cooking, baking, and doing outdoor stuff like hiking and biking. I like sci fi books and movies. I don't wear jewelry but I do like colorful scarves. I have short hair so don't wear hair stuff. NSFW, whatever else is fine. 420 is illegal in Virginia so use your best judgement.

I've been happy with every SASS I've ever done so don't fret too much about getting me something "perfect" :)

Yay SASSmas!!!!!

30 Goddamned Dicks fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Nov 14, 2016

Droogie
Mar 21, 2007

But what I do
I do
because I like to do.




rear end posted:

Your santee can definitely share their "about me" to you privately on Tiaz's site. That's what I've always done.

And that's fine. That counts. I just have seen a lot of frustrated people because people sign up and then go completely silent- site, pm's, posts.
I just want people to participate when they sign up for this; though I know I'm not in an actual position to ask.
It makes everyone so much more happy, it makes gift giving easier and more personal, and it's a nothing ask of people, especially when Tiaz breaks his back to throw this together every year and so many people look forward to it.

Juan Carlos III posted:

I would like an art

Wouldn't we all?

Droogie fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Nov 13, 2016

Iymarra
Oct 4, 2010




Survived AGDQ 2018 Awful Games block!
Grimey Drawer
Still having problems verifying email, Tiaz

SASS stuff

I'm a 31 year old engaged goon in Scotland undergoing transition from male to female. Big change from last year, woo.

I like plush things, cute things and have two cats. They are adorable pests that make the most strange noises. Local food and such is also good.

I also play far too many games and MMOs.

Please no NSFW / NMS outside or in.

Moatillata
Dec 13, 2006

Maintain.
A scream wrenches you from somnolence. It is coming from the closet.
It does not sound human.
It continues and you can feel the pressure building on the insides of your mind. Soon the discomfort physically manifests as a burning and tearing. You have to get out of bed.
Shaking, sweating, legs wobbling; you make your way to the door and grasp the handle. Infernal electricity courses through your hands, clamping them onto the handle like a vice. Your arm is not your own.
With unnatural speed and ferocity it throws open the door against your will. You can't look away. You are bathed in a green and red haze as you behold the source. You scream as the world collapses around you.


You awake in your bed, drenched with sweat. Turning your head towards the pillow next to you, a rumpled sheet of some kind of leathery paper is next to you. There is writing on it; smudged and brown.

quote:

Dear Santa,

I am a 31 year old male living the american dream. I do not post often outside of a weird forum party game called mafia. You will not find much there. My likes? Alcohol (strong beers, scotch), strange items, unique trinkets, voodoo, music, reading, mAh wife, locally sourced goods/souvenirs, bees, Hieronymus Bosch and historical poo poo . Some notable gifts from SASSmases past: a huge loving hammock (:black101:), a beer sampler from Santa's local breweries complete with awesome pint glass, A human kidney (per my request), horse head ornaments, gravy candy canes, a Santaur, a mix tape and much much more. Last year I was abandoned by my Santa and it was p lovely. Don't be a dick please. I am open to conversation though I am a pretty busy guy and normally don't start it up. Feel free to hit me up via secret santa communications any time if this list is confusing to you or not specific enough. I welcome NSFW stuff, but please mark it so I don't open it in front of my two kids.

Cheers,

Moatillata

Moatillata fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Nov 16, 2016

vortmax
Sep 24, 2008

In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.
I'm verified for my third SASSmas! Santee, you're going to get some touristy poo poo from my area, probably something incredibly weird I find at a flea market, and possibly locally-crafted booze. You should probably tell me if you don't like booze.

Dear Santa: I've been a good boy. Well, as good as can be expected. I'm 35 and I like trying new things. If you send goodies, please make it sugar-free, unless it's something truly exceptional. I wear size 2X shirts and 40" waist 32" inseam pants. And I'll accept NWS stuff, but if you must send porn, please make sure it has only men in it. Thanks, go hog wild!

Patchouli Patrol
Nov 11, 2007

Oh man. Is this my fourth SASSmas? Fifth? It's really the most magical time of the year.


Dear Santa,

I'm a 31-year-old goonette with a husband and six rats. I have a MA in Egyptology (which I am not currently using) and I love history and old stuff. I like stupid things like Sea Monkeys, pretty things, making things, cooking, gaming (some vidya, LARPing, tabletop), a lot of standard nerd poo poo (Game of Thrones, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, etc). I collect fountain pens and interesting ink, I'm a huge musical theater fan, I like necklaces and earrings, and the rats always appreciate presents. One year I got a blow-up swan penis, which was also pretty cool. I love the surprise element of this and I've got a great sense of humor. I don't drink much, but I cook with alcohol and I'm 420-appreciative (I vape). Also, bees.


Dear Santee,

You're getting some artisanal menstrual blood, courtesy of my vagina.

Patchouli Patrol fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Nov 16, 2016

Moatillata
Dec 13, 2006

Maintain.

Patchouli Patrol posted:

Dear Santee,

You're getting some artisanal menstrual blood, courtesy of my vagina.

Ok but it is certified organic?

Potrzebie
Apr 6, 2010

I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!
Lipstick Apathy

Moatillata posted:

A scream wrenches you from somnolence. It is coming from the closet.
It does not sound human.
It continues and you can feel the pressure building on the insides of your mind. Soon the discomfort physically manifests as a burning and tearing. You have to get out of bed.
Shaking, sweating, legs wobbling; you make your way to the door and grasp the handle. Infernal electricity courses through your hands, clamping them onto the handle like a vice. Your arm is not your own.
With unnatural speed and ferocity it throws open the door against your will. You can't look away. You are bathed in a green and red haze as you behold the source. You scream as the world collapses around you.


You awake in your bed, drenched with sweat. Turning your head towards the pillow next to you, a rumpled sheet of some kind of leathery paper is next to you. There is writing on it; smudged and brown.

>GO LEFT

StoicFnord
Jul 27, 2012

"If you want to make enemies....try to change something."


College Slice
I'm in. Woot.

Dear Santa,

I'm a 39 year old goon who was born in Scotland, and lives in England. And i love knowing about the world and the people in it.


Last time i got some Tim Tams from Australia as well as a ton of other stuff from down under, and for a moment, i was where my Santa was.

What i do like is knowing about your corner of the world, and the stuff that's there. And i like surprises, i like the unexpected.


I am teetotal and diabetic, so im not big on sweets and alcohol. Apart from that, im open to ..anything!

WindowLiquor
Feb 8, 2011

Oh no no, this simply will not do!
Yay!

Santa: I am a 28 year old Dutch lady goon. I live with my boyfriend and our 7 month old catte. I like all things Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones and Harry Potter. I also really like sports, like watching them, mostly American Football, soccer and tennis. I would love to see some of your culture through foods and souvenirs. Please no NWS or 420 stuff.

Santee: I'll try to do my very best to make sassmass awesome for you.

Bean
Sep 9, 2001
First, big shout out to tiaz for doing this year after year.

Dear Santa,

I am a 32 year old lady who lives with her husband, her two cats, and her rabbit. (If you must send something for my furry rear end in a top hat babies, don't send treats. The cats are crazy and will not eat them, and most rabbit treats are actually pretty bad for rabbits.) I have many goon unapproved hobbies, like cosplay, learning Game Maker, and learning pixel art. I'm a musician, I play bass guitar among way too many other things to name. I sew, knit and crochet like a motherfucker. I love video games (particularly Mass Effect, Undertale, anything Nintendo) and retro games (particularly old rear end SNES rpgs like Earthbound and Chrono Trigger). I bike but I'm super bad at it :v: I also LOVE tea, but I can't have black. That's okay, I'll mess up a cup of green.

If you're a maker, I would treasure whatever handmade item you send my way. I make stuff too so I get it. If you need ideas, I always need fingerless mitts, any sort of bag, arm warmers, and those little things that go around coffee mugs. I'm allergic to wool, though.

I'm usually a size small and my favorite color is purple. If you wnat, you can have my amazon wish list, but don't feel obligated to even click the link much less get me anything: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2KLM4FU38F00G/ref=nav_wishlist_lists_1

Dear Santee:

Please leave me a ton of ideas and a link to your amazon wish list too. My bees are ready.

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
Just signed up for my very first SASS and I'm super excited!

Dear Santa:

I'm a 27 year old male from so-cal and I have one main item on my list-snow globes. They're kitschy and a little tacky but I love collecting them and I've built myself a small collection over the years. I especially love the souvenir ones you get from gift shops-the kind you pick up to remind yourself where you visited. I have a San Francisco one, and I'd love a Seattle one since I've always wanted to visit and see my 'Hawks play! :hawksin:. I would also appreciate any Seahawks or NFL themed tchokies such as beanies or Christmas tree ornaments. Please nothing NSFW. 420 is now legal here in my state. I like tequila and ciders.

Dear Santee:

I will do my utmost to be the best Santa I can!

Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 08:12 on Nov 15, 2016

Britt Burns
Nov 24, 2007
Biscuit Hider
It truly wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't do SASSmas :kimchi:

ABOUT ME:
* Girl
* XL shirts (generally)
* Love (wild) birds
* Have a very good doge and two great cattes (Doge doesn't "do" toys unfortunately :saddowns: )
* Love to hike & bore people with accounts of it (Doge is my adventure buddy)
* Love local (to you) things
* Collect magnets
* Eat anything
* No standards
* Don't get me things for my desk because it is full

I think that's it! If I get a girly goon who likes Vera Bradley I can HOOK. YOU. UP. because I can get that stuff at cost, yo :getin:

Dr Zaius MoS CPotF
Mar 6, 2007
only 1,972 years too go!
This account belongs to my son who is 9. This will be his third year participating and last year we were graced with the unimaginably hypothesis generating Tiaz (may his name be whispered in 'certain circles') which was unutterably terrifying. Tiaz I hope that we did well, we got completely distracted with intestinal disease during Christmas and failed to assess whether we'd caused you pleasure :(

The boy hates most food. He'll only eat buttered pasta, spinach, yogurt, pumpkin bread, cereal, cheese sticks and corn. Like literally only those things, well and candy, dude loves him some candy. He worships at the temple of LEGO, reads Captain Underpants and related young adult tripe, enjoys chess and card based games like Boss Monster and Zombies! and is frightened that Trump will make all of this friends leave the country. He only wears corduroy pants and slip on shoes for some reason. Oh yeah and he LOVES his Android games and critiques the ads loudly and viciously.

He's a kid so no porn, explosives, weapons, motor vehicles, "joke" enlistments in the marines or drive by's. Last year he received a bottle of Loganberry syrup from his Santa which he ads to his yogurt by the thimbleful, loves and has managed to not QUITE use up as of yesterday, there are still a few drops left somehow a year later....

As his dad I promise to put together the present and include things that will titillate and astound but he will add his own personal touches including at least one example of his artwork. Don't despair if he's your Santa, I'll add appropriate touches!
(edit - whoops, spelled Tiaz wrong)

Dr Zaius MoS CPotF fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Nov 15, 2016

Save Target As
Oct 13, 2008

Oh man, this is my 4th SASS now?? So exciting!

Santa, hear me:
- Male, 29, Native Texan who doesnt travel much.
- 2 cats, they'll take whatever you give them.
- IT Sys Admin by day. My Office is pretty uninteresting.
- I gather various nerdy collectables, as well as some game art and metal concert posters/art.
- Bass Guitarist/Singer, loves most music heavy or progressive in genre.
- Gamer skum who plays a lot of PC and PS4 stuff (Overwatch & Steam mostly).
- Likes booze and food, not allergic to anything enough to matter.
- I sometimes Paint DIY toys and mini figures for some of my board games and can always use more paints/supplies.
- I love board games and have a decent collection.
- I enjoy local things from my santas as well, show me what your town is about, or something you enjoy there, it's your gift though sheesh use your own creativity.
- I have an Amazon and Steam Wishlist that can help guide you as well if you'd like.

Santee, fear me:
Just kiddin, you're going to be treated well. I will try to stalk you as much as I can, and when you least expect it. WHAMMO! Gift city! I hope you actually post or give me a little something to go off of though, or else I'm going to have to wing it.

Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.

Dr Zaius MoS CPotF posted:

This account belongs to my son who is 9. This will be his third year participating and last year we were graced with the unimaginably hypothesis generating Taiz (may his name be whispered in 'certain circles') which was unutterably terrifying. Taiz I hope that we did well, we got completely distracted with intestinal disease during Christmas and failed to assess whether we'd caused you pleasure :(

The boy hates most food. He'll only eat buttered pasta, spinach, yogurt, pumpkin bread, cereal, cheese sticks and corn. Like literally only those things, well and candy, dude loves him some candy. He worships at the temple of LEGO, reads Captain Underpants and related young adult tripe, enjoys chess and card based games like Boss Monster and Zombies! and is frightened that Trump will make all of this friends leave the country. He only wears corduroy pants and slip on shoes for some reason. Oh yeah and he LOVES his Android games and critiques the ads loudly and viciously.

He's a kid so no porn, explosives, weapons, motor vehicles, "joke" enlistments in the marines or drive by's. Last year he received a bottle of Loganberry syrup from his Santa which he ads to his yogurt by the thimbleful, loves and has managed to not QUITE use up as of yesterday, there are still a few drops left somehow a year later....

As his dad I promise to put together the present and include things that will titillate and astound but he will add his own personal touches including at least one example of his artwork. Don't despair if he's your Santa, I'll add appropriate touches!

I hope I'm his Santa, only because I make a really good pumpkin bread. :v:

Niacin
Mar 8, 2005
not so much
Dear santa,

As far as gifts, best of luck. Last SASS I participated in, somebody sent me a television. A CRT television. With a dodgy transformer and peeling wood veneer. If you can get it into a mailbox without a felony conviction or a dirty conscious, best of luck, we're rooting for you.

Dear santee,

I hope you're not a baby av ghost like last time. That individual received a thirty pound bag of dog food.

katdicks
Dec 27, 2013

SO BIG
Hi there Awful people,

This is my first SASS (weeeeoooh). To my Santer:
  • I'm a 22 y/o lady.
  • I'm a vegan, and therefore constantly hungry. Pls feed me.
  • I'm training for my first marathon. Winter running swag is da bomb.
  • My husband and I started the foster thread, so we (and the MDSPCA) are in constant need of safe animal goodies for kittehs.
  • We also adopted Butterscotch, who runs our lives now. His favorite toys are broken rubber bands and twistie ties.
  • I love comfy clothes. Fuzzy = Best
  • I love all things ocean-related.
  • Home-made or local goodies are super-duper appreciated.
  • Size small in literally everything (socks, gloves, pants, shirts, etc).

To my Santee:

Watch out, ButterSanta is coming for you.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Flaccid Trip posted:

To Santa:

I'm a 28-year-old goonette. I enjoy Borderlands, cooking, and marine wildlife. I also like jigsaw puzzles (the more difficult, the better, because I can send it on to family and infuriate them) and foreign candy. I'm allergic to shellfish, and don't eat seafood at all, so please don't send anything of the sort. I do a lot of sewing, and make stuffed animals, so neat patterns or pattern books would be cool. Nothing NWS on the outside of the box, please. I have both Amazon and Steam wishlists if that sort of thing helps. I have one cat, but she's a spoiled weirdo who barely plays with her toys and won't eat anything but her kibble and carpet fuzz.

Also to Santa, do not disappoint her or I will loving destroy you.

Karma Comedian
Feb 2, 2012

gnarlyhotep posted:

Also to Santa, do not disappoint her or I will loving destroy you.

Disappointing ladies is my specialty. :smuggo:

hypoallergenic cat breed
Dec 16, 2010

Hi santa!

-I'm a 21 female college student.
-I have two cats, a bunch of snakes, a tiny tarantula, and some rats. The cats and rats would love toys, the snakes and tarantula not so much, unless you get really creative.
-I'm on a very low carb diet (<20 day) for medical reasons (good foods are things like jerky, pork rinds, etc)
-I'm super into animal things, as you can see by the giant list of pets, cute etsy animal kitschy things are good, my favorites are birds and cats
- I really like Steven Universe, my favorite character is Rose
-Hobbies include board games, sculpey clay, and cooking
-I like necklaces, but don't wear any other kind of jewelry
-I'm really into the idea of a cozy blanket right now
-:weed: but I live in an illegal state so nothing illegal

hypoallergenic cat breed fucked around with this message at 13:35 on Nov 16, 2016

Palette swap
Mar 29, 2010

"There is a professional misconduct hearing over here with your name on it"
It's that time of the year again, yay!
Dear Santa

I'm a 31 years old male nerd from Chile, I like animation and comics from anywhere and of any kind (with a weird preference for comic strips) ,fantasy or police/detective comedies, I play yugioh but collect trading card games (the older/weirder/more obscure the better). I go to the gym 6 times a week to lift heavy stuff. Love cats (have 6, plus 2 dog halves) Edibles are OK, booze is not. And feel free to ignore this list if you find something interesting, cool, handmade or local. Also a newspaper, catalog, flyer or map from where you live would be nice.

Santee:
Prepare yourself.

ChlamydiaJones
Sep 27, 2002

My Estonian riding instructor told me; "Mine munni ahvi türa imeja", and I live by that every day!
Ramrod XTreme
I've done this a few times, like 5 or so. I have to issue a warning at this point, I failed to get a tracking number last year and my Santee has told me that he did not get the knives and spices I sent to him in his micro apartment in Vancouver. Had I been better at life I would have had a tracking number to prove that I didn't fail in my assigned task but, alas, I did not and cannot. I also didn't get alerted to this fact until I asked him on Twitter months later and was told that I had failed :(

That said I promise to get a tracking number this year and track the hole loving crotch of Cthulhu out of whatever the hell I send you Santee!

Santa; I am 51, dumb as a post, happily employed and wanting for very little. I have every movie known to man and almost every science fiction book in existence. I would be enormously happy if you sent me strange local stuff, food, street art, your art, her art, HIS art (yeah that fellow, right over there....), reasons that you love whatever you love, that sort of thing!
Santee; I love my local spice shop and will probably send you something from there as well as other things more obscure, pointless and interesting. Maybe a wasp. Maybe a 1980 GT 750 Scrambler Cycle Clutch Popper from Tonka. Maybe not.... that depends..............................................

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Juan Carlos III posted:

Disappointing ladies is my specialty. :smuggo:

Dammit you were supposed to get mad about my over the top comment :argh:

Corky Romanovsky
Oct 1, 2006

Soiled Meat

gnarlyhotep posted:

Dammit you were supposed to get mad about my over the top comment :argh:

I saved 2016 failed candidate paraphernalia just in case I get you.

dreadspork
Jun 25, 2005

Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.
Hi everyone! I have never SASS'd before (I have rear end'd before though, long story). I am pretty excited to give this a go. I assume we'll get an email about SASS assignments? I already have a few ideas for unique stuff I could send out. :)

I am a 33 (turning 34 tomorrow) goonette. :siren: I am a foodie! :siren: I love unique or unusual foods and trying new things. I also am a huge fan of craft beer and I like trying strange or foreign liquors. For example, I love Ouzo and Rakı, though those are anise-flavored drinks I am down to try anything. In general I would say if it's a food (including snacks/candy/etc) or beverage that is difficult to find in the U.S. (South Texas specifically), I am interested in trying it.

I like to read and I love Game of Thrones (both the series and the show). For reading, I actually tend to read more non-fiction than fiction, so books about interesting topics are always fun. I read a lot of Bill Bryson, for example. I love space and astrophysics and Carl Sagan/Neil deGrasse Tyson/Stephen Hawking; I love science and I think people who try to make it accessible to the masses are fantastic human beings.

I appreciate hand-made items, the more unique the better. For example, at a white elephant party I won a hand-crafted crocheted unicorn head that had been mounted on a wooden plaque. I named it Gary the Wish Unicorn and display it proudly at my cube at work. I'm not that interested in getting clothes, unless it was perhaps hand-made ugly socks or something. I'd totally wear that. A friend made me a Jayne hat from FireFly and I wear it on the 2-3 cold days we get down here.

I like to cook a lot and I love creative recipes. I don't follow recipes to a "T" that often but I do utilize techniques, ideas, and food combinations from recipes/cook books to improve my own recipes. I miss the old-school Food Network with real cooking shows starring folks like Sarah Moulton, Ina Garten, Rachel Ray, Alton Brown etc. I generally hate reality shows, cooking included, but I do love Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods and of course I adore that rear end in a top hat Anthony Bourdain.

I lived in Japan as a child and studied abroad there in 2011, so Japanese stuff is almost universally welcome, especially unusual things in their culture (read: culture, not anime).

SFW packaging preferred, my mailman already hates me because we only check our mail like once a week and sometimes the box gets full.

PS. Not allergic to anything.

PPS. Santee: I really hope you like beer/liquor because it's kind of my expertise and there's some really great local poo poo I'd love to send you.

dreadspork fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Nov 18, 2016

Karma Comedian
Feb 2, 2012

gnarlyhotep posted:

Dammit you were supposed to get mad about my over the top comment :argh:

Disappointing everyone is a developing talent.

JointHorse
Feb 7, 2005

Lusus naturĉ et exaltabitur cor eius.


Yams Fan
Ohhh yes, it's that time again! :getin: Time to dig out my previous sassmas post and update it, things have changed since last year mmhm. (For the better even!)

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HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS
Welp, I'm registered and verified, so I guess it means I just volunteered to send bees to space on my own dime?

I'm 40, male, and I live alone with no pets, in France of all places. This is my first time participating and while I'm fine with getting a joke gift, I request no mean gift. By that I mean no live animal, animal bodily fluids, glitter, sap, drugs, explosives or anything else that might get me in trouble with my government (I am a government employee and already on probation), no NSFW on the outside of the box (if you want to include a 3D model of your stretched and hairy rear end in a top hat on the inside that's all good), you get the gist.

If you want to send clothes I'm 6'2", European L or US M. I like to read (nonfiction, preferably funny) and I listen to This American Life, to give you an idea of the kind of humor I like, but I don't own a tv or a game system so no DVD or vidya games. I do like board games and don't own many. If you are a board game geek who likes to share their enthusiasm for some new and obscure product, chances are I don't even know it exists, let alone own it. I used to lift weights but I stopped back in August when I moved, there's a gym near me I've been meaning to sign up with but I haven't found the drive so far, if you think you can help motivate me. Otherwise I like sciencey poo poo (I used to do quantum mechanics back in the days), I love homemade things especially if you made it, and (food)stuffs from your part of the world.

If you get me a Bernie Sanders 2016 sticker or magnet I will put it on my car (and love you forever).

Santee, I will search this thread for your post and try to get you something that matches your desires. If you don't help me figure out what to get you, you may end up with some Christmas cookies (they're a regional specialty where I live).

Looking forward to December 1st, and thanks tiaz for organizing.

HerStuddMuffin fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Nov 19, 2016

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