SASS 2016: Make Something Awful Again

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SASS 2016: Make Something Awful Again

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

# ¿ Nov 8, 2016 07:52

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:32

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Flaccid Trip posted:

To Santa:

I'm a 28-year-old goonette. I enjoy Borderlands, cooking, and marine wildlife. I also like jigsaw puzzles (the more difficult, the better, because I can send it on to family and infuriate them) and foreign candy. I'm allergic to shellfish, and don't eat seafood at all, so please don't send anything of the sort. I do a lot of sewing, and make stuffed animals, so neat patterns or pattern books would be cool. Nothing NWS on the outside of the box, please. I have both Amazon and Steam wishlists if that sort of thing helps. I have one cat, but she's a spoiled weirdo who barely plays with her toys and won't eat anything but her kibble and carpet fuzz.

Also to Santa, do not disappoint her or I will loving destroy you.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2016 02:34

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Juan Carlos III posted:

Disappointing ladies is my specialty.

Dammit you were supposed to get mad about my over the top comment :argh:

# ¿ Nov 18, 2016 05:54

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Nooner posted:

I guess im getting messages but I have no idea how to read them. this website sucks poo poo gently caress you OP you idiot bitch fucker make a better site

calm down dude

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 07:19

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

I hate christmas

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 09:03

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Benny the Snake posted:

If you can't find your Christmas spirit, buy it at your local liquor store.

After all these years of you asking me to proofread your short stories, here we are, Benny. Dang. I thought we were buds.

In the spirit of the season I wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year anyway.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2016 09:01

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Non Serviam posted:

Where are you Santaaaaaaa

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 09:12

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Fashionably Great posted:

Package it really well with more bubble wrap than you think you need and make sure that there are layers of absorbent cushioning as well as an outer sealed bag if at all possible to contain leakage if things get hosed up in shipping. When shipping things that are fragile, ANY room to move around in the box is bad. You should put filler (crumpled up newspaper is just fine and is cheap) in the box to make sure there is no movement when you close the box and shake it as hard as you can. Any movement felt/heard and you need to add more filler. Realize that your package is going to get thrown around and treated poorly by an overworked postal worker in the process of getting to your santee. Worst case scenario, if you've taken care to package it in something that will contain the liquid and glass it won't completely gently caress up the rest of your gifts if it breaks.

yeah that's all fine and good unless your gift needs to breathe and drink from the bowl of water I put in there :rolleyes:

# ¿ Dec 15, 2016 07:09

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:32

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Flaccid Trip posted:

I have intercepted Santa's box from my family.

Delicious food (I've already eaten all of the Cocomels)! An awesome holiday skeleton card! Tiny puzzle! Fuzzy keyring! And of course, a medieval tapestry bag which will serve me well as a new purse. I know I'm definietely drinking that cocoa mix tonight, because it's 33 degrees out and perfect hot drink weather.

Thank you, Washington Santa!

You better be glad she's happy, Washington Santa. :clint:

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 07:26

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