SASS 2016: Make Something Awful Again

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SASS 2016: Make Something Awful Again

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

Today I learned that if I press "send me some poo poo" approximately infinite times; gmail will mark the email as spam and file it in the trash.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2016 11:35

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:54

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

Dear Santana,

I don't know about your music, but as long as you send me presents we're cool.

I'm a Swedish not-quite-35-year old dude living with a wife and a newborn. It's awesome, and quite interesting to walk around with half your brain constantly off line due to lack of sleep, causing a severe case of the Dumb. Appologies in advance to my Santee who'll probably get sent a big box of wet laundry or something while I'll end up with a tumble dried life sized goatse blow up doll to wear to work. I hope you are my size, and that there is no residual breast milk on there :ohdearsass:

I used to do things and stuff, but I am no longer in charge of my spare time. I love homemade stuff, consumables of all kind, as well as various local things. If you find A Thing and wonder if I'll appreciate it, chances are the answer is Yes!
EDIT: Babby is 6 weeks old. If you want to send small-person things, keep in mind that they grow fast so err on the large side of things.

I am 185 cm (approximately a few feet and some inches) and probably American medium.

There is no Bluray/DVD-player in our home, but we have a gramophone, a Sega Mega Drive and a GameBoy Color.

Whatever you send me will have to be picked up at the grocery store by me in person. This is awesome and has never caused issues/embarrasment. Even better is the fact that the staff have to look at the strange parcel from abroad. Go wild with the NMS/NWS as long as it is not illegal. Drugs are very illegal in Sweden, so if you want to send them to me, be creative and ready for me to just not get them. Also I'll go to jail for infinity years this part is not true.

Poor Santee; Bees. Or wet, used clothing.

Potrzebie fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Nov 10, 2016

# ¿ Nov 10, 2016 11:46

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

Moatillata posted:

A scream wrenches you from somnolence. It is coming from the closet.
It does not sound human.
It continues and you can feel the pressure building on the insides of your mind. Soon the discomfort physically manifests as a burning and tearing. You have to get out of bed.
Shaking, sweating, legs wobbling; you make your way to the door and grasp the handle. Infernal electricity courses through your hands, clamping them onto the handle like a vice. Your arm is not your own.
With unnatural speed and ferocity it throws open the door against your will. You can't look away. You are bathed in a green and red haze as you behold the source. You scream as the world collapses around you.

You awake in your bed, drenched with sweat. Turning your head towards the pillow next to you, a rumpled sheet of some kind of leathery paper is next to you. There is writing on it; smudged and brown.

>GO LEFT

# ¿ Nov 14, 2016 08:44

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

THE BEES ARE ARMED AND BREEDING.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 09:23

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

gnarlyhotep posted:

I hate christmas

Atheistic harms

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 19:41

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

Ho-Ho-Ho!

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 13:37

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

J.A.B.C. posted:

Package two came in today! Which means aside from the rose hip puree, I've gotten everything from my santa.

First, the packaging!

The disgruntled bees really put the fine touch on the packaging. And from Sweden, of all places! I'm still kinda mad that I didn't get to go to Stockholm when I was stationed over in Estonia, so having a bit of Sweden is really nice.

Packaging within the packaging! It was taped down really, really well. But what's inside?

An elderberry candy cane! I like the taste, and the candy cane has this really gummy consistency that makes it soft but sticky, which really paired with the flavor. Loved it!

An awesome poster, with a jacked-up American flag, with an E.U. flag, then a swedish flag. I'm not much for art interpretation, but I like to think that it's about the bond our countries share despite the crap we go through. Going up in the office.

This is a huge maze. I had to lay this flat on the ground to get the entire scope of it. The camera decided to crop it weird, and I couldn't find a balance that shows the detail of the maze and the scope. It's going to take a while.

Oh no! I have to help him stop Santa before Easter! Better get to work.

This is all amazing. Thank you so much Santa!

Glad you liked it, it was very different to participate while not sleeping due to a new 3 month old co-inhabitant (successfully) playing dictator. Pardon some of the weirder messages, they made a lot of sense at the time

I hope the puree will arrive safe and sound :ohdearsass:

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 23:20

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

IT CAME! And in time for Orthodox Christmas too!

WHAT THE poo poo?! How? Granted, this thing has traveled half the globe, but still. I am humbled that you sent me this box, Santa!

Did you just spend $300 on a stranger on the internet?

I could not contain myself, so I carefully opened the package.

:frogsiren:

This gives me the strangest boner. And a craving for moonshine, horses and guns. Just need a hat to go with the rest.

This is just unbelievable. I have no idea how you got my shoe size, or the idea to send me a Be-your-own-cowboy.set. The most surprising Christmas present I've ever received, I am sure. Thank you a million, Santa americong!

Fake: Imgur seems to be dumb, here is the album where the images work: http://imgur.com/a/Ftzcx

Potrzebie fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Jan 6, 2017

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 21:41

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:54

Potrzebie: Apr 6, 2010; I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!; Lipstick Apathy

Blue Raider posted:

wrong thread

No I'm pretty sure this is the right thread

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 10:00

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SASS 2016: Make Something Awful Again