Costco: goddamnit i just dropped $300 on meat

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Costco: goddamnit i just dropped $300 on meat

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I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Bury me in a Costco coffin. Does your local costco sell coffins?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 06:38

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 01:15

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

There's a Costco coffin display at my local Costco (Canberra) plus also a Costco spa display.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 22:53

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Anyone buy clothes at costco? Thinking of updating my wardrobes and they have good brands.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 03:16

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Chinatown posted:

i got a couple pairs of super light weight shorts (the ones that are shorts but also swim trunks) and they area great and were IIRC $12.99(!!!)

Zipping pockets made them perfect for my trip overseas last summer.

Did you find the plane there?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 04:02

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Chinatown posted:

cremate me in a Costco food court pizza oven and spread my ashes in the parking lot

Not a costco urn?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 04:35

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Do they take a photo of you and put it on your membership card at Costco in America or can anyone use it?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 04:40

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Kilo147 posted:

Costco dogs are the best. But only at the Kirkland location. Or at least that's the only one I've ever got a Costco dog at.

Kirkland is a real place???? is it like heaven?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 23:53

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Thinking about those ice cream sundaes.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 00:49

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

In australia the milk containers are shaped like this:

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 06:55

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Bloodplay it again posted:

Are the whole pizzas they sell at the food court found anywhere in the store or do they come from a separate supply? My girlfriend and I split a hot dog and chicken bake tonight but that supreme pizza looked pretty damned good. Didn't see anything similar by the frozen pizzas or the take and bakes.

Costco is also the only place I've been to that sells 12 packs of Bundaberg, the best soda in existence. One day I'll go in when it is on sale and buy an entire pallet before they realize what sort of mistake they've made.

You mean Bundy.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2018 03:02

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

PURGE THE HERETIC!

# ¿ Jan 25, 2018 07:25

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

I saw an article which said that millennials are killing Costco is this true?

# ¿ Jan 26, 2018 04:11

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Currently getting the crap beat out of me by the massage chair display model at Costco.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2018 01:56

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

She also loves that you can now buy coffins at Costco.

"It brings the conversation around death into the mainstream," she said.

"It's like you can get bulk toilet paper, soft drink, cleaning products - oh, and a coffin. It makes death just another part of life, which it is."

Costco Canberra warehouse manager Sai Muluk said the coffins at Costco had attracted a lot of attention since being stocked in June of last year.

Seventeen Canberrans have purchased coffins since they became available at Costco, with "The Richmond" - a faux mahogany coffin with silver handles which retails for $679.99 - proving the most popular choice in the ACT.

"We get phone calls every other day from people wanting to know if we really sell coffins," Mr Muluk said.

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/act-news/sutton-mum-melanie-greenhalgh-wants-to-inspire-families-to-talk-about-death-20180131-h0r6ng.html

# ¿ Feb 2, 2018 06:07

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Got some luggage today and it came with a free travel pillow. So comfy.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2018 05:22

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Phylodox posted:

You could just build yourself a nest up on one of the higher shelves like...I wanna say Dane Cook in that movie where he worked at Costco with Jessica Simpson.

I loved that movie.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 01:31

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Gunna go to Australian Costco tonight anyone want anything?

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 02:12

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Schadenboner posted:

Do they call Aussie Bites just "Bites" there?

I'll have to check, no idea what those are.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 02:55

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Schadenboner posted:

They're the official food of Australia and the government mandates their consumption throughout the month of June.

I'm starting to suspect you aren't actually Australian, forums-poster "I would blow Dane Cook".

This is an Aussie Bite in Australia:

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 03:12

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Latest Costco discovery: the vending machine with 50 cent bottles of water.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 10:50

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Whooping Crabs posted:

Uh the machine sells bottles of water for 25 cents at my Costco, in the food court

This is Australia where everything is twice as expensive.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2018 03:40

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Tim Whatley posted:

https://twitter.com/PageSix/status/963261557068189696

The Juice has switched to murdering $1.50 hot dogs and high prices.

He needs a pair of new gloves.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2018 05:35

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Should I go to Costco?

Thinking about them dogs.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2018 08:10

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Costco needs valet fueling.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2018 07:22

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Also people queuing in the road to get into the Costco fuel queue really pisses me off.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2018 07:33

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Costco's Dog House.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2018 05:03

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

They should have drive thru hot dogs

# ¿ Feb 26, 2018 08:11

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Haven't been to Costco in almost two weeks arrgghh

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 05:28

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

I get upset when people talk to me.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2018 06:38

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

about to go to costco

# ¿ Mar 10, 2018 00:43

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Forgive me costco for I have sinned, I went to the petrol station down the road that was slightly more expensive but only had two cars in the queue.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2018 03:33

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Take me out to the costco
Take me out with the crowd
Buy me some hot dogs and pizzas
I don't care if I never get back
Let me shop, shop, shop
For the free samples
If they don't have any it's a shame
Aahh.
For it's one,
Two,
Three dogs you're full
At the old cost co

# ¿ Mar 14, 2018 10:05

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Going to get my hot dog before I go shopping today.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2018 06:20

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/jenbechwati/status/985437318227091456

# ¿ Apr 16, 2018 01:54

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

That's my local costco, can't believe I missed it when I went yesterday. I always go to the jewelry cabinet to gawk at the gorgeous omega watch they have.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2018 02:33

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Otto Von Jizzmark posted:

The other day at costco i saw a man fondling himself.

Playing with his hotdog?

# ¿ Apr 16, 2018 06:19

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Costco Australia�s bizarre bid to be a high-end diamond ring retailer

Australian shoppers at discount retailer Costco might be surprised to find a diamond ring worth nearly $1 million nestled in among the giant packs of toilet paper and bulk batteries.

On Sunday, Sky News reporter Jennifer Bechwati found a 6.55-carat ring, priced at $499,999.99, lurking in the aisles of the company�s Canberra store and shared a photo of the unusual item to Twitter, garnering hundreds of stunned comments.

It turns out the rock is one of several �wow� items stocked in each of the company�s nine Australian stores, including a $875,000, 13.72-carat yellow diamond at Costco�s Moorabbin store in Victoria.

�Each warehouse has a unique piece which is what we define as a �wow item�,� Costco�s jewellery buyer Jennifer Cataldo told The New Daily.

�It could be a ring, could be a pendant, could be earrings, but it�s primarily a diamond piece and they tend to hover between $300,000 and $850,000.�

The half-a-million dollar ring spotted by Ms Bechwati has actually been in the Canberra store since its 2011 launch, with Ms Cataldo admitting it had proved a hard sell given its exorbitant price.

�It�s quite difficult [to sell] � we�ve sold a lot of high-end pieces but not at that price point.�

And that�s with the Costco discount applied. Ms Cataldo confirmed the diamond carried a reduced price tag.

�We comp quite aggressively in the market so we like to see savings of a minimum value of around 20 per cent.�

Costco�s diamonds are sourced from wholesalers in the United States and the company employs a quality control team to ensure the cut, grading and metal is �correct�.

The irony of a single glistening diamond in between aisles of dustpans and baby wipes was not lost on Twitter, with many wondering how it fitted into the store�s low-price theme.

�You have to buy them in the value six pack,� one joked.

�How much is it at Aldi?� another wrote.

To shop at Costco you must be a member, with annual membership fees starting at $55.

In addition to its nine locations in New South Wales, Victoria, ACT, Queensland and South Australia, the US-based company is opening two more stores in Australia this year � one in Epping, Victoria, in August and another in Ipswich, Queensland, in November.

https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/national/2018/04/16/costco-australia-diamond-ring/

# ¿ Apr 17, 2018 09:29

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Phylodox posted:

Oh, okay, for a second there I thought we were talking about, like, a high school run by Costco or something. Like Costco High. And I was wondering, �First of all; that�s a thing? And second of all; why not go there? What�s wrong with it?�

Imagine the Cafeteria though.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 05:52

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Hot dog croissant

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 01:10

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 01:15

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

It's real

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 07:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Costco: goddamnit i just dropped $300 on meat

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