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MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


ArbitraryC posted:

Also I feel like costco expiration dates are always p far out on their packaged stuff which is nice when it comes to dairy in particular.

A lot of their milk is UHT. Buy the organic 3xhalf-gallon boxes with confidence: even if you don't use much milk it probably won't go bad before you use it. An open carton lasts for weeks probably a month; I've never had an unopened carton go sour.


meet girls at the store posted:

Just lol if your cart doesn't look like this by the time you're ready to leave



I live 3 miles away and never have a cart like that because it's only 3 miles away. Why stuff your cart that full when you can just swing by more often and get a rotisserie chicken and food court dog??

Also, that cart is all pre-packaged frozen bullshit. Buy some veggies and fruits and raw meats. Enjoy a cheap pineapple. Don't buy potatoes: potatoes at Costco cost way too much. Be wary about raw chicken; it's all fancy stuff and I usually pay about $2 less a pound at the local grocer.

Pro-Tip for the Costco faithful: when you're looking for rental housing seriously consider giving some priority to how far away from a Costco the place is. "Close enough that swinging by for gas, a hotdog, and liquor-store," and not having that be an out-of-the-way trip is pretty sweet. If you're buying a home you've obviously got much more important things to worry about but distance-to-Costco is still worth consideration. You don't want to end up as one of those poor fucks that decided on a Sam's Club membership because it was closer.


Also I haven't seen much love for the frozen yogurt in this thread. It's like a buck thirty five and surprisingly good. The berry one used to be really good but they must have focus-grouped it and it sucks now so get a swirl or straight vanilla or chocolate.

MisterOblivious fucked around with this message at 09:41 on May 4, 2017

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MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


The suggestion box at the front of the store: use it. We got our favorite olives back. If you see something in this thread your store doesn't carry, ask for it.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Grem posted:

The best part of Costco, for me, is that everything is about $10 as far as groceries go. Makes budgeting while I shop super easy. $100 bucks to spend means I pick up 10 items, so simple!

Same. Sometimes a thing is closer to twenty and it's just like mmmm :10bux: :10bux:

Harald posted:

I have some Costco milk that's two weeks past its expiration but there's absolutely no sign of it going sour. its like some kind of Costco miracle (Praise Be!)

Some of their milk is UHT pasteurized. Most organic milk is. UHT milk doesn't even need to be refrigerated if it's in the right sort of packaging.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Do it. There's no risk.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Peachfart posted:

I bet you'd get a laugh, since Costco employees are generally good natured and happy.

Costco food court employees are fast food workers working in a non-revenue generating department and they're typically treated as such.
Clean up after yourselves. Clean up after the rear end in a top hat customers leave a mess. Leave the Costco in better condition than you found it.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


smoobles posted:

i LOVE LOVE LOVE that Costco stocks local beers here in Dallas.

Sam's only carried national brands.

Do they carry local beers in every city? Costco is rad for parties (I am an attractive and popular guy with loads of friends)


Yes, Costco deserves all of your money and more.

Yup, they're the only cold beers in the place. Pretty neat seeing the little microbrewery a relative helped found being sold at Costco.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Candlelight Virgil posted:

I thought kronor was Swedish and Iceland had isk?

Íslensk króna
Isk is the ISO code, kr is the sign

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Costco has really good Thai or Indian-style ready made single-serve stuff. They also have great single-serve teriyaki chicken and ravioli. Cheap as hell Amy's burritos too.

mmmmmmmmm Tasty Bite's Madras Lentils.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


ArbitraryC posted:

the slices of pizza are like 700 calories just fyi.

I was really bummed to find out the muffins are too. I mean, you know they're not good for you when eating them, but 700 loving calories?

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


binge crotching posted:

You are so wrong. It sounds bad, but cream cheese and grilled onions on a dog after a night out is fantastic.

It didn't sound that good when I thought it was a boiled dog in a moist bun but a grilled polish in a toasted bun with grilled onions? Yeah, I can see cream cheese being ok on that.

Making me think about trying out some of that Kirkland goat cheese in the fridge in a dog.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


slave to my cravings posted:

This week I found out that Costco sells crack

Holy poo poo these things are addictive. 170 calories per 5 pieces though :saddowns:

Ate a lot of those in the red container.

quote:

If y'all haven't tried the $12.99 shorts on sale with the stretchy wastebands yet, they are the most comfortable shorts ever, and have decent length. I bought 4 pair, and am tempted to get backups.

Ahhh the orange waistband shorts (with belt). Oooooh yeah 3% Spandex!
If you're a Costco cargo shorts T-shirt wearing goon you should try on their "athletic" shirts. I can't read the tag but they're synthetic with a high percent of spandex. Anti-stink + stretchy Spandex. Comfort with anti-goonstink technology. Highly recommended.

Once it gets cold again in the fall Costco sells a "SmartWool" knockoff sock. Very, very Pro. Purchase them and enjoy.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Ever notice how the cheese pizza slices have more calories than the combo or pepperoni?



There's 24oz of cheese on the cheeze pizza and 14oz on the others. That's a pound and a half of delicious mozzarella/provolone blend.
That's a helluva value for $10! PBUC

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Taima posted:

It does. Tilamook is the easy choice for price/taste, for sure. That applies to all of its flavors. The best cheese for most people.

I'm a big advocate for Costco's boutique cheeses though. They have some amazing top shelf cheese for cheap. It's gonna run you a bit more than Tillamook but drat does Costco have some good fuckin' cheese.

The logs of goat cheese are a god drat steal. If you like soft eggs mix it in with your scrambled eggs or omelet, it's loving amazing. Plus, chives grow like weeds so plant some chives so you can chop them up fresh. Hell, dry them out for year round use and soften them up with some butter in the pan beforehand. Even the flowers! It'll blow your mind how much better goat cheese and chive eggs are than whatever random cheese you've been using.

Kirkland Parmigiano Reggiano will freak you out if you've never had an imported parmesan cheese at affordable prices.

Also, Cabot cheddar is waaaaaaay better than Tillmahook if you like it sharp.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Hairy Nude posted:

What items do you guys like to splurge on at the 'stco? My girlfriend got a sous vide cooker so we bought some USDA prime ribeye steaks to test it out, and holy poo poo cannot recommend enough.

Pilaros Kalamata Olives. A loving massive jar costs about the same as few servings from the grocery store.
Rack of Lamb. I'd rather have that than a steak these days. I prefer cutting two-bone portions for serving so you get a thick little medallion of meat.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Chinatown posted:

Spooky skeletons? Spooky...pirate skeletons???! Costco's got ya.




Also my location currently has Steinberger(?) self playing pianos starting at the bargain pricing of $69,999.00!!!

Uhhhhg I wish this stupid poo poo wouldn't litter my showroom.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Suzuran posted:

I suppose it would make sense if you ran a soup kitchen or a restaurant but I expected those kind of places would have a wholesale contract directly.

Restaurants source from multiple places and Costco *is* a wholesaler. The guy in front of you with a dozen 25lb bags of rice on an orange cart isn't buying it for home use.
There are Costco locations dedicated just to selling to businesses.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Taima posted:

In any case my point is just that everyone who wants furniture should keep an eye out for when they start marking everything down. Discontinued items end with a 7 "699.97" means it's discontinued and probably half price.

My favorite $x.97 discovery so far was HOLY poo poo IS THAT A GIANT JAR OF COOKIE BUTTER FOR $2.97?!?! IT IS! IT'S 3.5LBS!
Trader Joes sells cookie butter for like $4 for a 14oz jar.

Imagine a slightly spiced, sort of christmasy/gingerbread sort of cookie, ground up into peanut butter consistency. (Speculaas) It's so drat good but there's no way I can eat it all before it goes bad. Gonna try freezing it. Even if it doesn't work it's still a better deal than buying a jar from TJ's. Sort of like buying olive oil at costco: you may not use it all but you're still coming out ahead.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


C. Everett Koop posted:

Last month's just ended yesterday. But new ones start on Thursday!!!!!!! PBUC

ling ling potstickers $3 off!

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Costco is testing a way to skirt around the law that sets how cheaply they can sell gas. It's only in Rochester Minnesota right now.



Pay for your gas, take your receipt inside and get 25 cents off your groceries for each gallon you purchased.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Mr. Unlucky posted:

the costco thread and the sardine thread should merge and form the most depressing forum thread to ever exist.

It has in the past, and it's bad. Costco mainly sells Season Boneless Skinless Sardines and, like all boneless skinless sardines, they're not very good. Some goons have had luck requesting King Oscar sardines.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xOxXmyPD0I

(English captions available)

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


binge crotching posted:

I have a friend who works in the Costco international department, and he said that 5 out of 6 adults in Iceland have a membership.

~10% of the population bought memberships before it even opened.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


ArbitraryC posted:

if you wanna eat garbage sure

pb ingredients labels should consist of:

peanuts
(maybe) salt



The wonders never cease.

MisterOblivious fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Jan 21, 2018

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Chinatown posted:

They do yeah. That said, they will take anyone's credit/debit card so if you you can probably get away with lending it out. I've "hosted" people and they would just hook me up with a free rotisserie chicken or whatever for a tank of gas and a run through the store on their dime.

That depends on the store. They're not supposed to allow you to use somebody else's card to pay.

Besides, if you put it on your card and get reimbursed in cash, you get to collect the 2% cashback

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


LoonyLeif posted:

Those milk jugs are terrible and they have a much higher center of gravity, meaning you have to work a lot more to get em out of the fridge.

Also I have no idea why but the milk at my Costco expires just one week after purchase. "I'll chance it," I say, and let it go a week. Never again. That milk was foul. Going to Aldi from now on for milk that lasts two months; it must be irradiated or some poo poo

It's likely UHT milk. Kirkland Organic is UHT and I've had unopened cartons still fresh after 45 days in the fridge.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


bob dobbs is dead posted:

i've had uht milk unrefridgerated be still good after 2 years

Shelf stable milk uses different packaging. Costco uses standard paper cartoons which aren't aseptic so they're not shelf stable.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


jerry seinfel posted:

if you're down with fish i recommend the pickled herring for sale at costco. it's a big rear end jar and has a very mild flavor but is pretty dang good.

also the organic salsa, holy gently caress.

i even got some interlocking rubber floor pads for like $12.

PBUC

It's tasty but jalapeno heat levels vary wildly and they do absolutely nothing to account for it. Sometimes you'll get a weak lot so keep something on hand to bump up the heat.

The pickled herring is good stuff.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Bucnasti posted:

Someday they will talk about the great Church of Costco Schism, the time when the sects of the Gnostic Ketchupics and the Orthodox Condementistas took up arms against each other. It was a dark time, but the 'Co shall prevail and be stronger in the end.

PBUC

Yeah Peace Be Upon Costco. It's a weird saying I used to say it myself before getting out of.... you know...

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


binge crotching posted:

I feel bad for him having to drink that much KL.

Hilarious commercials though.

18 a day, 5 days a week.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Protein bar chat:

Word on the street is that the Kirkland bars are getting an unadvertised $6 coupon, limit 6, starting Monday. Source is a midwest worker, YMMV.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


We don't have the onion box here, just ramekins of onions and sauerkraut.
probably made yesterday
sad
They took away our Brats.
"You mean a Polish?"

No, I want a Brat.

You used to make them.
You took them away.
We're not close enough to Wisconsin,
apparently.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


If you see the acai berry bowl at your Costco you can no longer get the frozen yogurt twist or straight chocolate.
No more $1.35 chocolate frozen yogurt. Gone.
Erased from the menu. Pretend like it never existed.
Chocolate twist? Yeah, that never happened welcome to the new reality where Costco serves a $5 bowl of bullshit berries.

Acai Berry Bowl replaces chocolate in the machine.

Acai Berry Bowl is five loving dollars

It's full of loving strawberries, almonds, bananas and acai fruit. Like, go ahead and line up all the poo poo I hate all in one loving product to replace my single favorite thing on the menu

loving thanks Costco, you listened to the loving Mom Blogs.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Bucnasti posted:

The story of Grey Goose is that a marketing guy saw how much Absolte was selling for and thought "I can do that" so he found some failing bourbon distilleries in France and partnered with them to make his super expensive vodka. So unless someone else has started distilling vodka in France, Kirkland brand is Grey Goose.

Kirkland French vodka is produced by Distillerie De Gayant in Douai. It's not made by Grey Goose.

The American vodka is produced by some place in California. I've seen other low-end vodka from the same GNS supplier, most notably one of Total Wine's house brands: same stuff but a little cheaper because they're not putting it in a glass bottle. That bottle is kinda annoying so I usually just go ahead and make the trip to Total Wine instead. If there is a difference in taste I certainly can't tell once it's mixed into a Moscow Mule.

One of the many ethanol plants up here in Minnesota got into the vodka business. If you've had a "Midwest Grown" vodka, it was probably produced at a fuel plant. Shakers, Moon Mountain, Crop Organic, Prairie Organic, UV, Phillip's, etc.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Rutibex posted:

Costcos got you covered mate:



Ahhh, brewing some mighty fine Alaskan homebrew.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


"KS Whisky should be back in June, but it will become a "seasonal" item. I put seasonal in quotes because the season will be roughly June through January. I'm told the supply wont be there to support year round sales until 2024"

Got that from the guy that gave us a heads up on the unannounced protein bar sale everybody got so hyped about last month.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


BaconCopter posted:

There's a loving pound and a half of cheese on one of those? Jealous of you blessed lactose havers.

Yes, yes there is.

"One way Costco keeps those prices so low is by locking in its cheese prices several years in advance in order to avoid market fluctuations. Costco knows the cheese market, probably better than your broker knows the NASDAQ."

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


The Aardvark posted:

Enough per visit per pizza slice!

If it's anything like my allergy med it's $25 a year instead of $40 month at Costco.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Duck and Cover posted:

You're fake cultist devotion makes this thread kind of tiresome.

Costcoism may not be for you. Have you considered becoming a SardineDadist?

Also, you might be combining the two Tim Whatleys into one.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


PokeJoe posted:

i got one with some "cooling" poo poo on one side and normal on the other and it owns.

I don't know what that magic cooling poo poo is but the dog has a new pad that seems to stay cooler than the air and I don't know how the gently caress that works. I thought we were going to have to toss that thing in the freezer to make it work.
Apparently it works with pillows too?

I wish I could find some article to explain how it works because it's basically magnets=magic at this point and that's no good.

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MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


Ultimate Mango posted:

I actually received a random comment from another Dad at my kids school a few days ago: “Dude, I heard you make the BEST burgers.”
I was shocked because whenever we have a crowd of people over it’s just the 1/3rd lb frozen Costco burgs. And now I’m Burger Dad or something.

Eat a frozen burger from a place like Walmart and you'll understand. Or a burger from one of those guys that's doesn't know what "seasoning" means and massages/compresses the meat and egg mixture until it's the constancy of a hockey puck.


FilthyImp posted:

Amd i wish there was more lean meat in em is all.

Though I didnt used to grill them. A ton of grease in a toaster over sucks.

They're 85/15, that's a lean burger duder. You get one at a restaurant and it's more like 75/25 or even 70/30.

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