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uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:

my nearest costco is like half an hour away

is it still worth it if i probably wont go there super often

My nearest Costco is 220 miles away, but gently caress it, once every month or two we load up the kids, get a hotel, have fun on day one, wake up the next morning, fill the SUV up at Costco, and head home. Mucn better quality than we get at the lovely market in our one horse town.

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uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Anderron Shi posted:

You fuckin liiiiie.

http://www.costco.com/warehouse-locations?location=89301&fromWLocSubmit=true&numOfWarehouses=10

The distances listed are as the crow flies. The closest one by driving distance is St. George, Ut, about 220 miles away.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Chinatown posted:

Utah sucks lmao.

Thats why I live in Nevada.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


goodness posted:

Does Costco have family memberships and if so can I get one if I am in a different state than they are

A normal personal Costco account can have 2 card, they are good not only in the US but in other Costco locations around the world (UK, Canada, Mexico, Japan, maybe a few others). If you get a business account, you get 2 ppl for free for the membership fee, then each additional 2 cards is an extra $20/yr. Me and my wife used to be on my parents' business membership before they dropped it and went to a personal card, and we lived in a different state from them. To get added though you have to go in with one of the primary card holders to authorize you on the account. IDK if you have to have a legit business or can just go in and say I'm a sole proprietership and get a business membership tho.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


butterbar posted:

If they raise the price of hot dogs I will turn on them like a rabid dog

Costco bought a meat processor and started making their own hot dogs when their old supplier of hot dogs wanted them to raise the price.

http://www.ocweekly.com/restaurants/the-150-costco-hot-dog-hebrew-national-outkirkland-brand-in-6612637

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


kazr posted:

Give me the low down on Costco's mixed nuts

Top notch. Not a single loving peanut in the lot. Mostly cashews, which I hate more than peanuts, but my wife eats those.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Count Freebasie posted:

I miss Costco. I used to live ten minutes from one, but now the nearest one from me is twenty-five minutes away, and it just seems like too far of a drive for me to go. Maybe I'll rejoin.

loving amateur. I'd kill to live 25 mins from a Costco.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Kelp Me! posted:

lol they're supposed to check your membership card against your form of payment at the registers but they're not super thorough about it. My dad's got a corporate membership and I used his card to buy some housewares a while back. Everything was OK until a manager happened to walk by, took a closer look and realized my credit card and the membership card didn't match. She got suuuuuuuper pissed at me, but gently caress it - transaction was already done so there's nothing she could do, and like I told her: I didn't know that was a rule, and maybe get mad at your employee for not catching it rather than a customer for doing it unintentionally.

I was just there for new contact lenses in the first place :confused:

If you have a corporate account you can get a blank card that allows whoever has it to make a purchase. Only caveat is they cant pay with a personal check, only cash, debit/Visa, or business check from the company who holds the account.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Lacey posted:

I bought parchment paper at Costco once and now I'll be eating food en papillote until I'm dead.

I bought a giant roll of the heavy duty aluminum foil when I moved to my current house in 2005. We just celebrated using the last of in in January. How do you celebrate the last of a few miles of foil? With another giant roll, of course!

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

uh... lol its not about math friend its about flashing that sweet black card on walk in letting them know a Premium Member just entered.

It was better in the Good Ole Days when the black card and the business card got you in 3 hours early and free danish and coffee as well. Nothing like strolling in past the low level gold stars for a free coffee and danish. Too bad they dont do this anymore. I have to slum it with the goldies.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


ArtIsResistance posted:

Costco's actually really expensive and you'll spend more on goods that aren't 20 bars of soap

Costco, as policy, won't mark up any item they sell more than 15% (thats why investors bitch about Costco even though they get their 4.75 hot dog per share dividends). You local grocery store will have better deals on some things because they often advertise deals that are loss leaders to get you in the store to buy a cartload of overpriced poo poo because you just have to get that celery for 59 cents. Plus, as stated before, Costco's quality is much higher, especially on things like meat. If you want you dog food reject meat for 50 cents/pound less, go ahead. Ill keep going to Costco, buy a slab of meat, and seal up what I dont use with my Costco purchased food saver vacuum sealer and freeze that sweet Costco goodness for another day.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


I'm in Denver on business ATM, and need to partake of the $1.50 hot dog and soda sacrament while here. Any location recommended over others? I need to worship in the nicest Costco capitalist temple possible to be granted blessing of the most high Jim.

PBUC

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Grem posted:

Bad news... :( The only Costco's that I go to near Denver are near Mississippi and Havana (my normal one, it's p. great), and way out by E470 and Smoky Hill. Is a toll road worth taking? It is if there's a Costco at the end!

I guess Ill have to do some searching. In the limited exploring of the area I am in (Quebec St) I found a Sams Club (bastardized heathen wannabe) but no Costco.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Rutibex posted:

funeral parlors work like movie theaters, no outside coffins. you think these guys are idiots?

i hope you plan to bury grandpa in the back yard

Actually, not true. They can't prohibit you from providing your own coffin/urn, but they sure as hell wont tell you that you can: https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0300-ftc-funeral-rule

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Taima posted:

I've never bought seaweed snacks at the Asian market, but it's worth noting that the Costco packages are chock full of seaweed. Literally 400-500% more sheets than other white person sources. I don't know how that stacks up to the asian markets but it's worth considering.

Not only do you get 2-3x the amount vs the Asian grocery store, the Costco seaweed sheets are bigger too. Not sure the proportion, but I'd say 1.5-2x bigger.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Helpimscared posted:

I would like to purchase 10 pounds worth of water based anal lubricant

Sounds like you need Amazon my friend: https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lube...5%2Bgallon&th=1

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


funny song about politics posted:

How are the Kirkland dress shirts?

Quality is great. Im a big guy and they seem a bit baggy in my collar size. IDK if they have a slim or athletic fit (of which, I am neither), but the great thing is, it's the 'stco. If it doesnt work, take it back for a full refund minus the $1.50+tax for your dog and soda.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Peachfart posted:

I wonder how long you could live in a Costco without anyone finding out.

At least 24 hours: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0IHgChia5g

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Grem posted:

Does Costco do abortions? I've found myself in an interesting situation.

Look on the gift card rack. It should be somewhere between the $100 Outback Steakhouse GC for $79 and the discounted tickets to (insert lovely local amusement park here).

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Telephones posted:

Does Costco have a veggie dog? :shittydog::shittydog::shittypop:

What the gently caress is this heretical bullshit? Praise be to the $1.50 1/4 lb ALL MOTHERFUCKIN' GOD drat 'MURICAN BEEF hot dog and soda with refill.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015



I want to print this out as a religious tract and give it to the heathens who purchase their dogs elsewhere. Too bad the Chick tract guy died a few months back, imagine an illistrated version showing those who eat the Devil's dogs go straight to hell but you can be redeemed by eating St. Jim Sinegar's $1.50 manna from heaven with refill. PBUC.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


The Hambulance posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kozinski

I wish he was still on the bench. Maybe we can run into him at the food court :v:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mattel,_Inc._v._MCA_Records,_Inc.

The lawsuit filed by Mattel was dismissed by the lower courts, and this dismissal was upheld. Mattel requested review by the Supreme Court of the United States, but its petition for certiorari was denied.[4] In 2002, Judge Alex Kozinski ruled the song was protected as a parody under the trademark doctrine of nominative use and the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. He also threw out the defamation lawsuit that Aqua's record company filed against Mattel. Kozinski concluded his ruling by saying, "The parties are advised to chill."[5][6] The case was dismissed.

If I ever see this guy at the food court his dog and 20oz drink with refill is on me!

edit: He's still on the bench at the Ninth

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


DangerZoneDelux posted:

The old prices online say they were $12.99 for 10 beans. That's madness if they are still that cheap or even $20 for 10

I doubt they are anywhere near that anymore. It must be a bad year for vanilla. I remember the last time I bought the good Costco vanilla extract it was like $9/bottle. Last time I went it was $23/bottle.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Accretionist posted:

My local Costco appears to have run out of Bibigo Chicken and Cilantro wontons

These are dark days, goons

Sorry, these are happy days. I'm a cilantro fan but these things are just terrible. Must have got rid of them to make room for the sale on the Ling Ling potstickers, the one true potsticker. PBUC.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Marklar posted:

Who are these heathens that are not returning carts to the store, and are instead using them to carry stuff back to their dwellings?

https://twitter.com/CartsOfPCArl

News story about it: http://bit.ly/2xAXwyp

Behead these fools. PBUC

As a kid, the grocery stores would pay you $5 if you found a cart and called it in. Some guy in a flat bed truck would come out, pick it up, and give you a Lincoln as a reward. He didn't give a poo poo, Im sure for every $5 they paid out they got 10x back from the grocery store. Was a great racket for a few years until they figured out 95% of the carts were being taken by kids who'd then call it in.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Former DILF posted:

actually making a church of the 'co is a great idea, it would give you a community with which to share the bulk packs, save even more money

Even better than that is that you can claim all your purchases as charitable donations and write it off your taxes. PBUC indeed!

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015



Costco memberships are good at all their locations all over the world. Take a quick trip to the US east coast, get a 'Co membership, and the savings in a year would have paid for your plane trip. You can just renew online after that. Im not sure if Executive membership cash back works outside the US, but if it does, even more savings. Ill be in London next month and gonna hit up the 'Co up near Wembley (since it's the only one remotely close to a Tube station) to expand my Costco culinary horizons with a shepard's pie and a jacket potato.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Im Ready for DEATH posted:

Costco needs to sell a generic pseudoephedrine product. Paying out the nose (pun intended) for branded poo poo

Probably dont want to be associated with meth production but still. My sinuses are killing me.

Make friends with a pharmacist, the one at Costco would be perfect. 1000 ct uncoated pseudos for $20, perfect for grinding up and making meth er, seasonal allergies.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


AWarmBody posted:

I've done it. I've read every single page in this thread so far.

I am not a Costco member yet, but I don't see a future for me that doesn't also include Costco. PBUC from afar while I wait for a good signup promotion.

They dont come along often and you just missed one. There is never a wrong time to be baptized in the savings of Costco thru immersion in Kirkland Signature bottled water. PBUC.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Geoj posted:

Wow, its almost like people don't want to pay a membership fee to buy the same poo poo you can get at Walmart at a slightly discounted price or higher volume.

I made the grave mistake once of trying to serve two gods, the one true god Costco and the pretender Sams Club. Got one of those groupon deals I think for something like a half price membership and a bunch of freebies. Some of the areas I travel to have more Sams than Costcos, plus its never usually nearly as busy.
Going to Sams reminded me of the time I bought a netbook instead of a real laptop because they were smaller and cheaper. It was like 95% of the size of a full sized laptop keyboard, but drat was that thing near impossible to type on with fat goon fingers. Thats what Sams felt like to me: almost like Costco but just didnt feel right. When the membership ended, I swore to the one true god Costco I would never stray from the flock again.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


The Lord of Savings has shined his light upon the uninitiated and has a sign up bonus for new members to the fold. For $60 you get the gold star membership, a $20 Costco Cash card, and a $25 off $250+ coupon for costco.com. The Lord of Savings doesnt offer deals like these often, if you've been curious now is the time to enter the baptism of membership: https://costcomembershipoffer.com/purchase/open/RMN

edit: Looks like if you buy two of them you get upgraded to the Holy of Holies executive membership. No mention if you get double gift cards or coupons tho.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Do they take a photo of you and put it on your membership card at Costco in America or can anyone use it?

Not sure if they still do it, but there used to be a business card you could get with no photo, just said bearer on it. You had to use cash, a card, or a company check, no personal checks, but who the hell writes checks anymore?

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Laterite posted:

The church welcomes and accommodates all dietary choices under its hallowed roof.

Paleo Vegans can go gently caress themselves tho.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015



The missionary outreach arm of the church. PBUC.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Good Dog posted:


Also ordered some canvas prints online that should arrive next week.

Do the metal prints as well. I've done a couple so far and am super impressed with the quality of the finished product.

https://www.costcophotocenter.com/ProductDetails/Metal-Prints

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


indyrenegade posted:

if no one has mentioned it, the best loving thing at costco is the bigass pre minced plastic bottle of garlic

While it's handy to have and is miles better than peeling and chopping fresh garlic, I just doesn't have the same flavor to me. It seems like every time I break down and buy a jar, I use it a few times, remember this, and then it gets religated to the back of the fridge where my wife will throw it out when she cleans it out every couple of weeks.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


GORDON posted:

Flying into Vegas next month to do some hiking around the southwest, for 10 days. I'd like to hit a Costco after I land to stock up on water, Gatorade, protein bars, etc.... I see there is a "Costco Business Center" near my hotel. What is that? I don't have a "Business Center" near me.... can I get the things I want to get, there, or do I need to go a little out of my way and hit the regular Costco on the north end of town?

As long as you don't need much in the way of food beyond packaged snacks, you'll be ok. Some stuff will be in even bigger packages than regular Costco items, like if you want hot dogs, they dont come in the 4 lb package or whatever, they come in like a 20 lb box. I haven't been in the MLK Costco since they changed it to a business center but IDK if they will have booze or not. I know they took the gas station out before the conversion.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Yomofo posted:

I'll never forget seeing some 18 year black old trying to get fired from his job at Costo, or maybe he was just bored. He was selling chocolate caramel candy and he had the best sales pitch, "Come taste my chocolate balls! They are so good in your mouth!" "uuuhhh my balls taste soooo good, you know you want them" ect. He was yelling it like that scene in pretty woman while hip thrusting the table.

Everyone walking buy was loving dying laughing, and it actually worked. People thought he was so funny they were actually buying boxes left and right, we got one just cause he earned it. It lasted like 5 minutes till some manager figured out what was going on and made him switch stations. He should have been promoted to sales.

Those traveling roadshow vendors don't work for Costco. Neither do the demo people, they are hired by an outside company who contracts with Costco. They don't enjoy the blessings of working for the church. Maybe that's why he was trying to get fired, he saw the promised land and couldn't take being denied the blessings of serving the true capitalist Lord as the Costco employees enjoy. Source: Mother in Law for a short time worked for the demo vendor.

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


Xaris posted:

was this on the weekend? sounds about right in my experience

now try to imagine california costco's where it can be 2x that busy.

unless its one of the more rare suburb cities that have like 2 costcos within 10 miles of each other

That's Henderson Costco everyday. And the others arn't much better.

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uli2000
Feb 23, 2015


EAB posted:

You guys ever buy stuff on Costco's website and get it shipped to you?

I do. I don't live near a 'Co and it's easier to get a couple of things vs. the 3.5 hour drive to the nearest church. Been having allergy probs and just got the Kirkland Zyrtec equivelent and 5 bottles of Kirkland Flonase for what one bottle goes for locally. I also order stuff from Costco on Google Express from time to time. GE charges the tax of the area they ship from (my stuff has been shipped from the Bay Area, CA, and they always charge me 10% sales tax) but you can ususally find a coupon, sometimes up to 25% off for GE.

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