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EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'm in. Still have my wooden dildo from last year.

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EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Two Finger posted:

i'm gonna send you a pounamu dildo

Hell I'll take it. Jade ain't cheap.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

It's that wonderful time of the year when my amazon search history gets weird

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'm going to wave some completely legal weed which technically still has to be procured illegally in front of ElMaligno for Christmas.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

how many MAGA hats are gonna get mailed?

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

"Gifts" ordered :getin:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Amazon sells live crickets, mealworms, and roaches by the thousand. Interesting.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

My first gift is out. Steam sales are fun.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

The $0.69 price tag seemed appropriate

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Discarded idea: a box containing a gimp mask, magnum condoms, disposable camera, largest cucumber I can find, and a note that reads "You know what to do."

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Can't wait for the list of victims to go out

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Helldump Immunity posted:

This mason jar full of cum is gonna expire soon, bud :colbert:

Stick a wick in it and throw it in the freezer, make a cum candle.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Target Identified

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Bombs away. Sorry no lovingly hand packed box this time but I promise some drone was paid a living wage paid to wrap it all.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U84zAfb4b58

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Dear Santee: Amazon was retarded and split your shipment. You're getting a box on Tuesday and a box on Wednesday. Please don't be a slob and wait until you get both boxes.

also large

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

First gift has been delivered, does not have my username on it. So one of you got a mysterious package today.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I think my santee is dead

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'm outing my guy tomorrow if he doesn't post

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Godholio posted:

The person you're sending to isn't the same one sending to you.

I know, this isn't my first year.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Shot, out

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Dead Reckoning posted:

Got another box today. I hope nothing in these needs air, because they probably aren't getting opened until the weekend.

Nothing living. Package 2 is a little fragile so don't shake too much. They're wrapped if you want to get rid of the cardboard.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

:laffo:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Rad Lieutenant posted:

Next delivery will be a cow whip

quit while you're ahead

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I don't think my santee opened his stuff yet :/

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Two Finger posted:

i'm gonna catch the gay from it, aren't i?

It's too late. The gay is already inside you.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

That is loving frightening

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I hope my Satan Claus delivers before I go on vacation next Friday. Also hope my santee is okay, he got the rest of his poo poo a week ago and disappeared. :saddowns:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

oh

oh god

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

:captainpop::eyepop::popeye::chanpop::eyepoop:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Last reminder to santa that I'm leaving tomorrow and won't be back until the new year, so good job being lazy. :thumbsup:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Two finger is an expert at smoking dongs

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

:sigh:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

My Satan is a potential Grinch

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Godholio posted:

Edit: UPS says my recipient should be disappointed tomorrow. That seems optimistic, so maybe Saturday.

UPS e-mailed me and said to be disappointed tomorrow.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

A package has arrived! Addressed to...Die Lutschenfuhrer. My German is no good anymore but "The Suck Leader"?



It's lovingly decaled




Alright let's open this bitch up. Smells a little dank, but it doesn't sounds like anything is alive in there. That may be good or bad.



:smugdon:


:canada:



:catdrugs: and immediate catspicion



What the



My wife thought this was a sex toy, but my penis is far too largesmall to fit through that hole. So we did the next best thing and shoved Mao inside.



Cat is displeased but sat still for a photo. Hope that's the intended use of this thing. Thank you Satan! Mao is currently high as hell.

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EBB
Feb 15, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35WgpMq6e3o

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