- symbolic
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Captain Tajikistan: fighting for truth, justice, and Tajikistani ways! what ways are those? we're not really sure. heck, we can't even find Tajikistan on a map, but if they need a superhero, they must be at least kind of important!
Lecture Lad: Intro to Theoretical Mathematics teacher by day, crime-fighting hero by night, this young upstart seeks to stop criminals in their tracks with discussions on P-values, matrices, and what the Law of Large Numbers is really about.
Batman: roaming the streets at night, this vigilante hero solves crime an old-fashioned way - by clobbering criminals over the head with a Louisville Slugger! he'll also sometimes clobber accomplices. and cops. and bystanders. and then he usually steals their belongings. quite frankly, we're not even sure if he's a superhero, but he has the name, so we give him the benefit of the doubt.
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Nov 21, 2016 07:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 23, 2024 19:26
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- Flyball
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Society: You're a hero!
Fireman: I... I just put out fires with this hose.
Hey now, Fireman provides us with great schadenfreude by running that hose right through the cars of assholes who park in front of hydrants.
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Nov 21, 2016 10:58
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- jyrque
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Hero with Flash speed but their body pulverizes the moment thet start moving due to air pressure slamming them in the face.
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Nov 21, 2016 13:08
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- BIRDCON 2017
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souperman flings scalding hot soup at his foes and makes sweet soup puns like, "you really barley and vegetables with beef'd this one, pal!" (said after kicking bad guy into a giant vat of barley and vegetables with beef soup)
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Nov 21, 2016 16:02
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- FutonForensic
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Hello everyone, I'm Ineffectual Emotional Support Man and I've been asked to deliver a eulogy for Mr. Weathers today. So uh, Mr. Weathers died in great pain, but you see, uh, the great thing about that is, about dying in terrible, excruciating pain that is, is that, uh, we're all going to die in the same way probably, so it's like, we're all together in how the universe hates us? I'm not very good at this... okay sorry that's all the time I have. Sorry. Let me just--sorry
 
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Nov 21, 2016 16:19
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- Anoia
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"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."
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Person Man
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Nov 27, 2016 20:27
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- social vegan
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another job lost for perpetually thinks it is sunday for the first two hours of wakefulness man
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Nov 28, 2016 04:03
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- alnilam
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Bison Man, after being weakened by his own kryptonite - barbed wire - is defeated again by his arch nemesis, Frontiersman Shooting From a Train for Fun. Will this be the end?
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Nov 28, 2016 04:35
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- Historical Wizards
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Polarizing man, his powers are about as diverse as people's opinions of him
Many thanks Social Vegan for the wonderful av, and Fanky Malloons for the sig
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Nov 28, 2016 05:34
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- bean mom
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Constipation Man is really tired of this poo poo!
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Nov 28, 2016 05:38
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- Historical Wizards
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Manferd Polar temporarily gains powers so long as he is saving people from dangerous accidents or he is killing orphans. He is Polarizing man
Many thanks Social Vegan for the wonderful av, and Fanky Malloons for the sig
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Nov 28, 2016 05:40
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Wonder Woolen is a really comfortable sweater when worn by the forces of good, but an itchy, constricting nightmare of torture when worn by evildoers.
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Nov 28, 2016 06:12
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- bean mom
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tree-dog-man's bark is worse than his bark
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Nov 28, 2016 06:55
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- social vegan
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photosynthesis man will catch up with you kids in a bit
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Nov 28, 2016 11:14
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- google THIS
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Group Project Man: Shows up late to every crime scene, stoned out of his mind, and passive-aggressively delegates his responsibilities to other superheroes. In the end, though, he still gets an equal share of the credit.
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Nov 28, 2016 16:40
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- FluffieDuckie
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Group Project Man: Shows up late to every crime scene, stoned out of his mind, and passive-aggressively delegates his responsibilities to other superheroes. In the end, though, he still gets an equal share of the credit.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Nov 28, 2016 19:15
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- I Was The Fury
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Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds
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X-ray vision man: isn't really able to discern details of most objects and can't read books unless they use lead lettering. His teammates also have a tendency to get cancer.
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Nov 28, 2016 22:35
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- I Was The Fury
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Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds
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MoMANtum is able to accelerate endlessly, never reaching his top speed as long as he desires to go faster. However, his density is such that by the time he gets to a high enough speed to get anywhere that driving would be unreasonable, stopping him requires either several miles of uphill paved roads, a solid 2 foot thick concrete barrier, or millions of dollars in property damage.
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Nov 28, 2016 22:38
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- Anoia
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"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."
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primetime man - knows what happened last night on every hot TV show, and will spoil it before you watch anything on DVR
some call him a villain
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#
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Nov 29, 2016 00:50
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- I Was The Fury
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Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds
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primetime man - knows what happened last night on every hot TV show, and will spoil it before you watch anything on DVR
some call him a villain
I wasn't aware my former unemployed roommate was superpowered
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Nov 29, 2016 00:53
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- Anoia
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"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."
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I wasn't aware my former unemployed roommate was superpowered
it's a common power, like flight, but few become full time super whatevers
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Nov 29, 2016 00:59
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- Piso Mojado
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The Incredible Sulk
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#
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Nov 29, 2016 04:57
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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The flash.
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Nov 29, 2016 05:21
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- Yobgoblin
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Pun-man is obviously the worst.
driver: both these guys are going 85.
Pun-man: so, let's 86 them.
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Nov 29, 2016 05:59
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- Robot Made of Meat
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Redacted Man.
It's possible that he does some really cool stuff, but you never read about it.
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Nov 29, 2016 16:50
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- social vegan
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Tis I, Professor Dropit, and I can't find my keys
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#
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Nov 29, 2016 16:55
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- google THIS
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The Human Human. Half human, half another human. I'd call that a chimera but apparently the other human is his identical twin, so really the same DNA throughout. I still have questions, but at least he washes his own dishes instead of piling them in the breakroom sink like Fully Rehabilitates Bad Guys With a Single Word Man, that dickhead, why do we even keep him around?
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Dec 1, 2016 03:18
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 23, 2024 19:26
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- social vegan
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hero looking out driver side window: they're catching up, only 20 m behind us now
sidekick: p-probably farther, they just look larger
hero: *smirks knowingly* 20 meters...
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Dec 1, 2016 03:27
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Nov 21, 2016 07:36
<3 
<3 Vanisher 
