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it's the future where people pay to gently caress and kill robots dressed like cowboys. for you it's just a job. you are a CJ hired to administer and manage nearly a thousand hosts in production. you distribute patches, update their firmware, do nightly backups, monitor their status, and handle failover and recovery when they go down. obviously you would do this all over the park's pervasive network, allowing you to remotely log in to any host and review their logs, diagnose problems, and enforce permissions without some developers loving around with the production units. oh wait, you can't do any of that because for some loving reason there is no directory server and the hosts' brains are not centrally managed. most of the stuff they do isn't even logged. they have to pull every unit in from the field and ask it questions if they want to figure out what's wrong. this is some amateur level poo poo. also they're going nuts and nobody even knows what's failing or can restore from a clean image. westworld's network is a disaster. only you, the white hat janitor can secure it and fix all of the technical flaws in the show. where do you start?
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Nov 28, 2016 07:42
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:44 |
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this thread is for discussing all of the technical flaws in westworld and how to do it right. if you want to discuss the plot go to tviv, this is a technical discussion. there will be spoilers
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Nov 28, 2016 07:45
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start updating my resume?
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Nov 28, 2016 07:51
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well, first thing's first, we've got to get some loving access auditing going on. we need to be able to see what changes are made, when, and by whom. second, i- oh gently caress, i've just been murdered by a secret cylon
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Nov 28, 2016 08:27
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also, can we replace the loving connection machines already? i know the guy who originally networked five of them together is long gone, and yeah sure the blinkenlightzen are nifty, but the outdated processing power is really hampering our ability to expand the park
Farmer Crack-Ass fucked around with this message at 08:33 on Nov 28, 2016 |
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Nov 28, 2016 08:29
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"freeze all motor functions" "ah ah ahhh, you didn't say the magic word!" "please! god drat it, i hate this megalomaniac crap!" Farmer Crack-Ass fucked around with this message at 08:55 on Nov 28, 2016 |
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Nov 28, 2016 08:52
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I haven't heard one mention of devops so far in the show so if maybe every middle manager could drop it once every few minutes
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Nov 28, 2016 08:53
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how do I computer?
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Nov 28, 2016 10:07
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The Management posted:where do you start? 
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Nov 28, 2016 11:00
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I think we should stop storing the obsolete or down-for-repair robots in a dank, dark basement with water leaking everywhere and no security cameras. if OSHA stops by to examine the facilities we're going to be hosed up the rear end with fines. whose idea was this anyway
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Nov 28, 2016 13:50
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Team, I understand it's a funny joke on that website you all visit, but please do NOT gently caress and cum in the computers during your shifts.
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Nov 28, 2016 14:14
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first thing we have to do is get a service processor module installed in the hosts with an OOB management login so we can log in remotely even when they decide to ignore our commands. actually first thing is fixing the loving wifi in the park. this no-signal plot device has been pulled too many times already. there's no excuse for not having wide area coverage.
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Nov 28, 2016 15:59
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proposal: some kind of checkin/checkout procedures for behavior/qa/bodyshop host control tablets. these things are just getting passed around wherever, some have even gone missing! why were these not remotely wiped immediately??? each device should be hardcoded to exactly one person. these things have way too many privileges to just let any rando hand them to whoever outdated hosts policy: i know they're deactivated and all, but it really seems like a bad idea to put creatures with every reason to hate humans all together, in a huge dark room, with no one watching them. maybe they could be laid down in bunkbeds in smaller, locked rooms? at my old job we'd demag and drill through old hard drives. maybe we could do something like that here?
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Nov 28, 2016 16:13
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Uncle Enzo posted:outdated hosts policy: i know they're deactivated and all, but it really seems like a bad idea to put creatures with every reason to hate humans all together, in a huge dark room, with no one watching them. maybe they could be laid down in bunkbeds in smaller, locked rooms? at my old job we'd demag and drill through old hard drives. maybe we could do something like that here? poo poo, at the very least put some handcuffs on them and sit them on the ground. one time security was down there cause Ford didn't let us know he'd be loving the old prospector again and a guy tripped, knocking one over, with predictable results. it took over an hour to stand them all back up, the entire time hearing Ford dryly humping away in the back room. (why is that the only part of the storage area that has working lights??!?)
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Nov 28, 2016 16:28
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don't even get me started about the host retirement storage. it reeks of body odor and they will start to rot if we leave them there long enough. these are multi-million dollar units, why are we just letting them sit idle? why don't we wipe their memory (for real), and make them janitors and cooks and other jobs we currently pay humans to do? they could start by fixing the HVAC on the storage level.
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Nov 28, 2016 16:36
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ok let me get this straight: we have a codebase that is capable of more-or-less sentience, making it one of the most valuable things in history we have no secure off-site backups?? WTF people, how hard is it to throw this stuff on tape and stick a copy in one of those vault facilities in like kansas or something even a once-yearly sample of just one of the more-patched hosts would at least give us something to start with if something happened. like, i know the facility is super-underground and is a hardened facility already, but you mean there's no master backup? what if a state-level actor tried to get a copy? think big people, i don't see any AA capability, i don't see perimeter patrols, gently caress there's not even cell service in large swaths of the park. what's stopping someone from just waltzing in, incapacitating a host, and taking it back out?
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Nov 28, 2016 18:20
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immediately move all internal communications to exchange, hosts will be controlled via text commands given to a skype chatbot, each team will be allowed to design their own internal department sharepoint for the purposes of storing code and other documents replace the spinal column of each host with a wifi antenna and base station - if your signal gets weak go find a horse or w/e also get that cannon / face picture system from the hunger games for each time a host dies
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Nov 28, 2016 18:35
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launch a public facing yammer that uses dna analysis of jizz/piss inside the hosts to connect you up with your fellow eskimo brothers/sisters after you leave the park to increase user attach rate
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Nov 28, 2016 18:36
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boob heatmap need this now
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Nov 28, 2016 18:36
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replace the smart bullets with a more secure two factor system, when a bullet is fired at you there will be a text message sent to your phone you weren't allowed to bring into the park - you have less then a second to scream the response code or the bullet hits you with full force
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Nov 28, 2016 18:37
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reduce host programming complexity to install bitcoin miners - we'll be rich!
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Nov 28, 2016 18:38
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Mad Wack posted:reduce host programming complexity to install bitcoin miners - we'll be rich! filing ticket to have this employee's host-access credentials revoked, please do the needful have a blessed day
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Nov 28, 2016 19:08
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this is it, the worst thread in YOSPOS, nay, the forums, NO! the world!
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Nov 28, 2016 19:23
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:this is it, the worst thread in YOSPOS, nay, the forums, NO! the world! look, this company created the perfect slave robots and instead of selling millions of them to do everything people want they are wasting their time writing interactive western fiction and letting them get murdered on a regular basis. also there are real cost savings to be had in better host management solutions, especially if we're thinking about larger deployments in the future.
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Nov 28, 2016 19:51
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:this is it, the worst thread in YOSPOS, nay, the forums, NO! the world! these violent posts have violent ends
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Nov 28, 2016 20:54
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is there a way the blockchain could solve this?
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Nov 28, 2016 21:02
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The Management posted:first thing we have to do is get a service processor module installed in the hosts with an OOB management login so we can log in remotely even when they decide to ignore our commands. tbf i think the no-signal thing is less "bad coverage" and more active jamming
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Nov 28, 2016 21:26
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Time to use Puppet on their puppets, or Salt for their sluts, Chef on their chiefs. Maybe Ansible would be sensible.
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Nov 28, 2016 22:00
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i cant get a screengrab right now but pretend i posted the one really fat host in cold storage, put a red circle around her and wrote the words "BIG DATA"
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Nov 29, 2016 00:15
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Mad Wack posted:i cant get a screengrab right now but pretend i posted the one really fat host in cold storage, put a red circle around her and wrote the words "BIG DATA" lol
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Nov 29, 2016 05:40
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C.H.O.M.E posted:is there a way the blockchain could solve this? actually,
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Nov 29, 2016 06:04
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Mad Wack posted:reduce host programming complexity to install bitcoin miners - we'll be rich! i propose we do the mining at night on the regular hosts, and the miners during the day when theyre in the shafts so we have optimal cooling. theres also an opportunity for idle hosts to produce snacks for guests with their waste body heat Optimus_Rhyme posted:this is it, the worst thread in YOSPOS, nay, the forums, NO! the westworld! ive pushed a patch to your repo checkin notes, please keep the scope of your comments to the world we know of
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Nov 29, 2016 06:08
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Agile Vector posted:i propose we do the mining at night on the regular hosts, and the miners during the day when theyre in the shafts so we have optimal cooling. theres also an opportunity for idle hosts to produce snacks for guests with their waste body heat poo poo that causes brain damage maybe table that option for when we introduce coldworld next winter 
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Nov 29, 2016 06:14
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some goddamn version control, that's for sure
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Nov 29, 2016 06:33
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There's this one slider in the host admin panel that goes up to 20 but when you do that there's a popup that says "DO NOT RAISE ABOVE 14 -- f." It doesn't stop you or anything, just pops the warning. Why does it even go up to 20 in the first place? Why haven't we just reduced the maximum value here to 14 to prevent erroneous settings? This is probably something that should be addressed in the next patch.
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Nov 29, 2016 07:02
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Sagebrush posted:There's this one slider in the host admin panel that goes up to 20 but when you do that there's a popup that says "DO NOT RAISE ABOVE 14 -- f." It doesn't stop you or anything, just pops the warning. Why does it even go up to 20 in the first place? Why haven't we just reduced the maximum value here to 14 to prevent erroneous settings? This is probably something that should be addressed in the next patch. this needs to be better managed. any old idiot should not be able to bump a unit in production past the limit set in the directory. you need special administrative powers and sign-off to deploy those kinds of changes. the fact that developers can just gently caress around with hosts while they are in service is not acceptable. all changes need to go into source control, and hosts will only run firmware built by the build servers and signed by the auth server after it passes QA.
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Nov 29, 2016 07:26
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Wells posted:Team, I understand it's a funny joke on that website you all visit, but please do NOT gently caress and cum in the computers during your shifts.
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Nov 29, 2016 08:05
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Wells posted:Team, I understand it's a funny joke on that website you all visit, but please do NOT gently caress and cum in the computers during your shifts. lmao
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Nov 29, 2016 08:08
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LOVE this thread. Stuck for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Nov 29, 2016 08:12
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The Management posted:all changes need to go into source control, and hosts will only run firmware built by the build servers and signed by the auth server after it passes QA. seriously, why are we letting the old weirdo just blow a wad into the code immediately before patching begins. he doesn't even tell anyone he's doing it, one day we pull a buggy host and all of a sudden it's an anxious wreck. how does he expect guests to like a fuckbot that's got depression
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Nov 29, 2016 13:12
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