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Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004


Exciting Lemon

Sarsapariller posted:

Sure.

1- This is your ship shield and damage indicator. It is displayed on a monitor in your cockpit. If you have time in battle you can hit F, mouse over it, and hit those little pie chart slices to direct shield power to different parts. I don't know if that works, it probably doesn't. The damage part flashes to show which parts of your ship are hit, or still exist. Note that my cockpit has not been damaged- it literally always looks like the front has fallen off. The two little graphs EM and IR on the side are supposed to indicate your ship's current heat and electromagnetic signatures. I guess higher is worse, because targeting? But there's no way to lower or manage them, and missiles don't work anyway, so gently caress it.

2- This is the same information as 1, but it is displayed on the inside of your helmet. There is no way to turn off this second display. It makes both 1 and 2 completely unreadable in combat.

3- None of these actually do anything. The first one is showing weapons, I think, but none of that information matters. I think you can turn them "Off" but why the gently caress would you ever do that. The second is the "Comms" display which may, some day, actually show people's faces. Right now it just constantly lights up like people are calling you but nothing ever displays and you don't hear anything. The third panel up here is another pointless set of graphs about thermal and heat signatures.

4/5- Similar to 1/2, except this time the display is for the enemy ship. The only useful part of this is the shield facing strength, which is displayed in a 3d format so it's basically impossible to loving read even if there weren't two of the same displays cluttering each other up. The graphs are for the enemy heat/electromagnetic signatures, which are useless.

6- This is your power distribution settings, and also 3 more graphs for your heat and electro signatures. Those things must be real goddamn important because they are on literally every display on the loving screen. Anyway the power triangle lets you distribute ship power to your various systems. I've tried it, it moves around but as far as I can tell doesn't do anything. The guns still overheat at the same speed, the shields still drop just as fast. I don't know. The usage/required poo poo at the top seems to be some kind of "Power output" management system, and you can slide those gauges around, but they also do nothing that I can determine.

7- Here's another visual indicator of your shields along with a bunch more useless garbage sliders that don't do anything.

8- Here's where the game constantly, constantly spams you with tooltips. Right now I'm fighting for my life and it is pretty sure I want to travel somewhere so it's going to put up a bunch of messages about quantum drives.

9- Back here, obscured by the helpful messages, is the loving ship's radar. The one useful item in this whole cavalcade of horseshit and it is the size of a postage stamp, and obscured by the tooltips. FIRE YOUR loving UI TEAM. Also you may note that the enemy ship I'm currently 10 feet away from, is not showing up on the radar. Guess they're pretty good at managing those power settings!




Sarsapariller posted:

Okay so I rented all the Anvil ships that I gave a poo poo about, flew back to Port O, and then cruised each one around. Here for your reading pleasure:

SARSAPARILLER'S SASSY SHIP SPERGING
A brief review of autism chariots

Ordered by cost:


Anvil Arrow
Cost: $75
Guns: 2 gimbal, 2 auto turret, no idea on size- S2's? Seemed like "Gladius plus one." Also, some missiles. All guns slaved to pilot, this is a good fighter for that reason alone.
Can It Do Anything But Fight: No.
Speed: Zippy
Reviewer's thoughts: So they basically said "What if Gladius, but 20 bucks cheaper and from a different company." It's kind of funny but most of the light and small fighters are actually the best combat ships in the game, because you don't have to rely on anyone else to run the terrible, terrible turret systems. This thing is ugly as poo poo but seems very effective. If it was priced sanely for a 6 year old MMO and combat was actually meaningful, I'd say "Sure, it's worth 12 bucks or whatever." But since combat means nothing in this game and the cost is seventy five of your hard earned dollars, stay the gently caress away.


Anvil Gladiator
Cost $164 worth of missiles that do not work
Guns: 2 gimbal, 2 in a separate turret that you can't control without another player. Lots of missiles.
Can It Do Anything But Fight: No.
Speed: Sluggish
Reviewer's thoughts: It's 164 loving dollars for a ship that can't do the primary thing it was meant for, because missiles are broken and have been broken for years. Basically for 90 bucks more than the Arrow, you get the same firepower only now you can't use it, and the ship is slower. I think it's actually kind of cool looking, and I like the concept of turreted bombers because I too have seen Star Wars. Unfortunately there's nothing to bomb in this game, and if there were you better loving believe that half the time the bombs would fall upwards or something. In another game, this would be a cool fighter and you'd have to defend a bunch of them as they bombed the mothership. In Star Citizen the mothership is a jpeg, the only ships worth bombing are effectively invincible, and you wasted 164 dollars.


Super Hornet
Cost $180
Guns: 2 nose gimbal, 2 wing gimbal, 2 auto turret. Some missiles.
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Well it can carry a passenger I guess
Speed: Zippy
Reviewer's thoughts: I could review all the other Hornet variants but the reviews would amount to "Not as good as the super hornet" so why bother? This is the combat dogfighter. It used to be even better but at some point CIG decided it was punching too far above its weight, probably when they sold a shitload of other fighters, and so the gun size seems to have been nerfed really hard from back when I owned it. Doesn't matter though- with six guns all slaved to the pilot, this is one of the few fighters in the game where one player actually has direct control of all the firepower. Unfortunately it costs as much as three brand new triple-A games put together because Star Citizen's pricing is out of loving control. Also unfortunately, there's like, one combat mission in the whole game and everything else is box retrieval or delivery. Since none of these ships allows you to store boxes... it kind of ruins the entire Anvil lineup, to be honest.


Anvil Hurricane
Cost 195 big ones
Guns: 2 nose gimbal, 4 in a separate turret. Bunch of missiles.
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Nope!
Speed: Some
Reviewer's thoughts: This ship that irritates me. At some point CIG got tired of making shitloads of cash on the super hornet and went "What if Hornet, but 10 dollars more and BETTER" so they nerfed the SH and slapped a bunch of size 3 guns on a similar sized fighter. But obviously that would make it too good, so 4 of the guns are in a turret, which means you will never get to use them. So it's a fighter that does exactly the same thing as the Hornet, but worse if you're a single pilot, and costs even more money because gently caress you. Also it looks like an electric razor.


Anvil Terrapin
Cost 220 goddamn dollars
Guns: 2 nose gimbal, nothing else
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Yes
Speed: Sluggish
Reviewer's Thoughts: I thought this was the starting ship in the anvil lineup but then I went and looked up the price and it's over two hundred motherfucking dollars! This thing has 2 guns and a big radar and some cargo space. Radar's pointless because nothing in the game loads into your client past about 10km, 2 guns are pretty much a joke, and the cargo space does make this the first Anvil ship capable of actually playing Star Citizen in its current, actual state, but the ship costs two hundred loving dollars Jesus H Christ what is wrong with you CIG. It doesn't even come with the decorative but useless missiles that all the other ships get! 2 guns and a worthless radar, that's it! Give us 200 bucks! gently caress you!


Anvil Valkyrie
Cost 375 smackers
Guns 2 nose gimabl, 1 regular turret, 2 remote turrets, 2 helicopter door guns
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Yes
Speed: Glacial
Reviewer's Thoughts: This ship exists because of the landing scene in Aliens. That's it. You could load marines in here, if there were such a thing as marines. You can load vehicles in here, sometimes, if they don't jank the gently caress out. But there's no mission in the game requiring vehicles, and there is no ground combat, and there's definitely nothing that would require a combat dropship, so why does this exist? It exists because Aliens. Because stupid fat gently caress nerdlings will pay 375 ludicrous dollars to sit in a cockpit and go "In the pipe, five by five" and then grin to themselves because they just made the funniest movie reference holy poo poo. It has door guns, because space Vietnam, I guess, so you can clear your space LZ before you drop your space crew. Nobody will ever do any of those things. This thing costs more than your car payment. I despair for the future of gaming.

Beer4TheBeerGod fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Nov 23, 2018

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Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.



Somewhat first:ish.

Also, more topically. Ooooh. I remember those banners. How many silly missteps ago was that? A billion? Five? How many months? Oh… not even a year and a half.

TheLastRoboKy
May 2, 2009

Finishing the game with everyone else's continues


starkebn
May 18, 2004

"Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"


OP is good? So What.

Crazy_BlackParrot
Feb 1, 2016

Christ Roberts is way better than toilet lord...
:gary: :lesnick: :yarg:
:pgabz: :fuzzknot: :eonwe:
:wtchris:


so like is this the magical 6666 page?

Reharakhti
Oct 9, 2012

Secretly Sekhmet

On to the next 6665

Maw
Feb 18, 2013

Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.




OP good. SC bad. Moma great.

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016



prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners ar

Sabreseven
Feb 27, 2016



Is this the new thread? Seems like it probably is. :)

Natron
Aug 5, 2004



:rip: old thread. You were... Well you were a thing that's for sure.

Now let's shitpost this thing all the way back to 6666! I know you can do it, everyone.

Michaellaneous
Oct 30, 2013



Star Citizen is out and it is good.

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004



I'm glad that we have a reputable poster providing the OP and not 'he who shall not be named'.

Hobold
Jan 10, 2012


I love my Cutlass
I love big stompy mechs
I love my HOTAS
I love to salvage wrecks
I love Star Citizen, and all it's craziness
GOONDEYADA, GOONDEYADA, GOONDEYADA


College Slice

Wow Beer. Good job.

Michaellaneous
Oct 30, 2013



tane

DancingShade
Jul 26, 2007



Natron posted:

:rip: old thread. You were... Well you were a thing that's for sure.

Now let's shitpost this thing all the way back to 6666! I know you can do it, everyone.

Estimates on whether we reach 6666 before SA finishes dying off?

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001



Posting on page 6666

D1E
Nov 25, 2001




In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

Maw
Feb 18, 2013

Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.




D1E posted:

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

hello old friend

Natron
Aug 5, 2004



DancingShade posted:

Estimates on whether we reach 6666 before SA finishes dying off?

It'll be a race between SA and SC. Two shambolic entities, slowly succumbing to their own incompetence.

Gonna be a wild ride, man.

TheLastRoboKy
May 2, 2009

Finishing the game with everyone else's continues


Tokamak posted:

I'm glad that we have a reputable poster providing the OP and not 'he who shall not be named'.

Of course if you asked our entirely stable friends on Reddit they would start screeching, hissing and flailing their arms about the great betrayer or something. For a good five seconds or so before getting really tired.

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016



There are words and links in the op. You feel like Dr. Smart.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.



Archer:ing myself from the FDev forums

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

No Really This Looks Awesome!
Do not spend a loving dime on this project. Do not fund it. Do not support it. Do not waste your money. The game is being mismanaged into the ground by a narcissistic "visionary" who is strangling the entire project with his utter inability to delegate or share creative control. CIG is hemorrhaging talent thanks to a toxic work environment and terrible business practices. They already have multiple times the original asking price and have only provided excuses. At this point any money you spend will not be refunded and there's no guarantee that anything you purchase will actually be playable.

To wit, this is not Chris' first rodeo, and I'm not talking about Freelancer — it was evident a decade earlier than that. Let's have a look at how he chose to describe one of his previous manga opera: Strike Commander.

Let's start with Chris' version of the story in full:

Strike Commander manual p46-47 posted:

Recently, I watched the film Heart of Darkness, which chronicled the tremendous struggles that Francis Ford Coppola went through in crating Apocalypse Now. In many ways, the creation of Strike Commander has helped me identify with his plight.

It was two and half years ago, just after the release of Wing Commander, that I started out on what I then estimated to be a one-year project. I set out to create an industry shattering flight simulator that would encompass a revolutionary new 3-D system, a system that I planned to use for Wing Commander III and hoped would form the basis of a whole new generation of ORIGIN games. This system, which we later named RealSpace™, became the heart of Strike Commander. To make RealSpace truly revolutionary we decided to gamble on two major graphics techniques: Gouraud shading and texture mapping. Both of these techniques are used extensively on high-end military flight simulators costing millions of dollars. Their application gives rendered 3-D images a much more realistic and fluid appearance. Because of the power needed to implement such a 3-D system, nobody had previously dreamed of doing so on a PC. For us to pull off this software, we knew we had to make some risky assumptions. First, that the power-to-price ratio of PCs would continue to decline, thereby delivering affordable PCs of adequate speed to our target market. Second, and more importantly, that the same forces that had created a demand for Wing Commander — those power-hungry 386 owners — would generate a demand for games that exploited the next generation of PCs, the 486. When creating Wing Commander, there were many who doubted the game would sell because of their lack of faith in the high-end PC market. This time, however, everyone believed in the market and, as time went on, the doubts revolved around our ability to create the engine.

In the spirit of wanting it all, we set out to design a game that would have more realism than the best flight simulator, better storytelling, more fun and more accessibility than Wing Commander, and the best sound effects, music and graphics of any game ever created. Our biggest mistake was thinking that we could achieve all of this in a single year. Our biggest setback was the realization that it would take more than two. But our journey had begun and there was no turning back. Perhaps the greatest heartbreak came months after the Consumer Electronics Show in June 1991. Believing ourselves to be a few months from completion, we showed a demo of Strike in front of the press and our competitors. Months later, we were little closer to completion, but a subtle change had come over our competitors’ development plans. All of the sudden, parts of the technology we had shown at CES were showing up in their software. It wasn’t as if they had stolen our ideas — after all, the techniques we used to make RealSpace revolutionary for PCs are very well known in the high-end graphics field. The trouble was that nobody believed it could be done on the PC. With a single ill-timed demo, we had changed that belief and inadvertently given our competitors a heads-up on where we wanted to take the industry a full year and a half before we arrived there. During these revelations it was difficult to resist the temptation to push Strike out early and prevent our competitors from stealing any more of our thunder. But to stop short of our vision would have been unacceptable. We were in the middle of our journey and were determined to complete it, regardless of what lay ahead. And what lay ahead was the hardest part: long hours, short tempers and huge expectations.

In hindsight, knowing what a truly Herculean task Strike Commander turned into, the heartache and disappointment it created when its release date was constantly pushed back, and the amount of time from our personal lives that it consumed, we probably should have designed it differently. We wouldn’t have tried to do quite as much or shot quite as high. In our arrogance we had set out to create something that was not only better than everything else, it was several orders of magnitude bettre. And it was several orders of magnitude more expensive as well — in fact, the most expensive game ORIGIN has ever developed. Like Francis Ford Coppola and his film crew on Apocalypse Now, we knew we were in way over our heads, but we also knew there was no turning back.

And now, a little humbler, we’ve reached the end of our long and arduous journey. We look at Strike Commander and see a game that every member of the team can say, “Yes, it was two years of hell, but at the end of it we’ve created something that is very special and I’m proud of it.” I have never seen such selfless dedication from such talented individuals as the team that created it. Strike Commander is the game it is because of them. Each time I think about the dark circles under my eyes, the unshaven beards, the late night pizzas and the neglected spouses and girlfriends, I wonder what it is that makes us do this. One reason might be that the entire Strike Commander team , which has grown to as many as twenty people, are all avid computer game players. We buy and play our competitors’ games, looking forward to the latest developments in our field. If we weren’t writing games as a profession, we would be hating our day jobs and writing them at night. I hope this makes us as demanding and discriminating as anyone that plays our games. Although it sounds clichéd, for us it is much more than a job. I can think of no greater pride it would bring a team member than to have someone approach him at a computer store and tell him that Strike Commander was the best game they’ve ever played.

We hope you’ll agree.

This little nugget came out in 1993, and as we can see, true to form, Chris wants to paint it as revolutionary, industry-changing, unprecedented, and best ever. But, again, it came out in 1993. I harp on the year because it is a rather special year in computer gaming. It was indeed a seminal year for games, and especially for the PC gaming scene, but none of it had to do with Chris — hell, it didn't have anything to do with the actual production-value powerhouse that was Origin Systems.

What came out in 1993?
Doom. The game that, while it didn't invent the 3D first-person shooter genre, defined it, with audiovisual quality that was through the roof, to say nothing of the networked realtime multiplayer fighting that is a multi-billion (or is it trillion by now?) dollar industry today.
Myst. One of the most popular computer games ever, irrespective of genre or format. Along with 7th Guest, also released in 1993, it was the killer app that sold the CD ROM as a format and a peripheral, and much like Doom did for the FPS, defined the concept of multimedia gaming.
X-Wing. Take the space shooter concept that had been popular for a couple of years, make it actual 3D, throw a huge IP behind it, and focus on gameplay above all else. Again, it did not invent the genre, but it absolutely defined and nailed what works and what does not.
Virtua Fighter. Take the well-established and still popular fighting genre — Mortal Kombat II came out in 1993 as well and the Street Fighter series was in-between games — and make it 3D, thus setting the stage for where they will all go in a few years.

While they weren't seminal in and of themselves, a number of other games came out that pushed their genres ahead and set the stage for the future:
Daytona USA and Ridge Racer for the kind of 3D arcade racers that would be the new standard from there on.
Day of the Tentacle, Gabriel Knight, and Sam and Max probably mark the peak of the adventure gaming genre, pushing it into the realm of CD-based multimedia.
Masters of Orion and Syndicate. I mention them because some people will hurt me if I don't.
And that's not even mentioning such absolute classics as A Link to the Past, Star Fox, Super Mario All Stars, Aladdin, Sonic CD, Eye of the Beholder III, or Alone in the Dark II — games that, in spite of being spectacular or critical components in what would be genre-defining games a few years down the road, still paled in importance in comparison to the actual revolution that was going on at the same time.

As for Origin, they weren't exactly sleeping, but they were focusing on add-ons, spin-offs, and tried and trusted product series: Ultima VII-2, Privateer, and Ultima Underworld II. None of them offered anything new.

Hardware-wise, we had a generation shift with the Sega Mega CD, Atari Jaguar, 3DO, Amiga CD32, and — perhaps most interestingly — the Sega Model 2 system. It is interesting because of one particular feature: its hardware-accelerated texturing and shading, supporting among other things… Gouraud shading of polygonal models. No matter how much Chris wants to strut his stuff over the '91 CES demo, no, Sega did not look at what some niche-genre dev on PC did and invented custom hardware to do the same thing in the year and a half between the expo and the system release. This was a parallel process that was happing industry-wide, all at the same time because the time was right.

Oh, and a tiny little chip manufacturer that was probably not worth mentioning released something called the “Pentium”? And across town in Santa Clara, a bunch of upstarts got together to form a company called nVidia…

So yeah, 1993 was an insane year as far as pushing the games industry forward. For all his bluster, Chris Roberts was not relevant to that development. He was doing his own thing, breaking budgets and being second (or third) on the ball like always, way out in the periphery. This would also be the only sensible explanation for the downright obscurantist idea that PC hardware might not continue on the trajectory set by the 386 (from 1985) and 486 (released in 1989).


Now, here we are, almost a quarter of a century later, and he's still offering the same spiel; the same ignorance of the industry; the same ignorance of the technology; and the same utterly, completely, boneheadedly ignorant excuses for getting in way way over his head. The man does not learn. He is incapable of learning. He is incapable of improving. Add in his ability to make games, make movies, sell cars, breed horses etc. and there's only one conclusion: he is just flat out incapable.



e: More rant and a correction…

Tippis fucked around with this message at 12:50 on Dec 2, 2016

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016



I have more posts than Jobbo_Fett in the Star Citizen thread! At last! Hahahahahah eat my dust!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001




Real OP from real MOD. Nice.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable


This isn't the 6's but hey, #1 is good too.

Looking forward to the new thread. :)

Edit for Raskolnikov:




This is cute, thanks! :)

The Titanic fucked around with this message at 12:51 on Dec 2, 2016

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016




:laffo:

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009



Wow, a fresh start! What great things will we achieve in this thread?

VengerTL
May 29, 2013


Beer, on the matter of overweight bald men with carpal tunnel syndrome, how do I join https://robertsspaceindustries.com/orgs/FLJK ?

Wuxi
Apr 3, 2012



I'm either missing something or you didn't make cat-tax mandatory for this thread...

Not my mod :colbert:

AbstractNapper
Jun 5, 2011

I can help

So many ships. So many ships that you can buy now with real money.

And then dream about maybe flying them in a proper game a decade later.

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008



Star Citizen is my favourite non-game.

DancingShade
Jul 26, 2007



AbstractNapper posted:

So many ships. So many ships that you can buy now with real money.

And then dream about maybe flying them in a proper game a decade later.

Entire topic in one post.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002


Upset Trowel

You're a solid guy beer and I like you but Derek should have been the OP.

DancingShade
Jul 26, 2007



hakimashou posted:

You're a solid guy beer and I like you but Derek should have been the OP.

Derek's too busy working on his Opus Magnum.

Beer is the cat herder we need and deserve.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002


Upset Trowel


In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

orcane
Jun 13, 2012



Fun Shoe

Aww man that's just mean Beer. Posting on 6666.

Also this wouldn't have happened with Derek :argh:

Dark Off
Aug 14, 2015






Star Citizen is a weird thing.
Not a game, but money sinkhole, so that ppl can feel that they are part of something bigger

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002


Upset Trowel

Dark Off posted:

Star Citizen is a weird thing.
Not a game, but money sinkhole, so that ppl can feel that they are part of something bigger

Politics is exactly the same but for neurotypical people.

Dark Off
Aug 14, 2015






http://radio.entropy101.com/podcast/the-last-update/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0uEmeEaDnQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEuY6-UM8VI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88WL5MX1Co8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0RvCN3gYJA

Dark Off fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Dec 2, 2016

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Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004



:synpa:

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