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Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





peter gabriel posted:

I've never been more confused than when I played LoD, I was just bewildered from start to finish. Where was I? What was I? What was I doing? I still have no idea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRFCmI544HI

GOTY

I think the key question is "did being bewildered by Derek Smart's terrible game make you feel better about Chris Roberts's terrible game?"

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peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Beet Wagon posted:

I think the key question is "did being bewildered by Derek Smart's terrible game make you feel better about Chris Roberts's terrible game?"

I just made me want a cup of tea tbh

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





peter gabriel posted:

I just made me want a cup of tea tbh

You guys all heard it here: Star Citizen is good, actually.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Beet Wagon posted:

You guys all heard it here: Star Citizen is good, actually.

Yeah but I played Overwatch, so Star Citizen is bad, actually :smuggo:

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Risc1911 posted:

I made a thing



You did good

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
Pillbug

peter gabriel posted:

I just made me want a cup of tea tbh

how do you take your tea pgabz

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

how do you take your tea pgabz

I like my tea like I like my inkjet printing paper - White no sugar

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

thatguy posted:

:lol:
Read this if you didn't.

I read it because you said to read it.

I feel :chloe:

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Wiz posted:

I'm laughing so hard at the idea of earnestly being asked how many toilets your sci-fi spaceship in you sci-fi spaceship game will have, and thinking the question matters enough to put on an official FAQ.

I feel like I need to establish a canon number of toilets for Stellaris ships now.

You can bet your low-fidelity developer rear end that some of your customers already have this info for each one of your ships. Just ask them.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Hav posted:

What do you mean, 'one day'?

:nws:http://store.steampowered.com/app/690090/The_Suffering_of_Larina/:nws:
"The suffering of Larina is a visual story with choices that affect the ending. Most of the story is told through pictures rather than text. The length of the story is determined by your choices. The story contains sexual content, nudity and violence."


And everybody here mocked that innocent girl from Denmark or whatever for those poser calendars.

Look who's laughing now! All the way to the poser porn bank!

Cao Ni Ma
May 25, 2010



Wheres the burndown cig

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

This is why Star Citizen is still awesome. It's anybody's guess as to what the hell it actually is. :allears:

5+ years in, and nobody knows what the game will be like. Outside of "has ships that shoot and you can walk around and also shoot". Anything else from grenades to trading to buying new ships in the game itself and not with your for real credit card is up in the air.

Star Citizen: Ask your backer buddies how it will play; realize you all don't agree

Red flag anyone? Ah of course not. :3:

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
Full Burndown


The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

smellmycheese posted:

mfw when my attempt to gun down pretty girls in dresses is foiled by Croberts poor quality UI

It's disappointing that they come up with these sorts of analogies and post them. It's a bit equal parts creepy and sad. But at least he didn't go into the inevitable consequences of piracy, so he gets points there.

smellmycheese
Feb 1, 2016

The Titanic posted:

This is why Star Citizen is still awesome. It's anybody's guess as to what the hell it actually is. :allears:

5+ years in, and nobody knows what the game will be like. Outside of "has ships that shoot and you can walk around and also shoot". Anything else from grenades to trading to buying new ships in the game itself and not with your for real credit card is up in the air.

Star Citizen: Ask your backer buddies how it will play; realize you all don't agree

Red flag anyone? Ah of course not. :3:

Well we know it involves hugely tedious fetch quests with unskippable cut scenes. That, in itself, is a solid foundation IMHO

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

KM Scorchio posted:

Derek what are you going to do all day after starcitizen dies? I hope you have a back up crusade ready to embark upon.

He's going to pick up a guitar, and sing the most tear jerking rendition of Don McLean's American Pie you ever heard. Just listening to it will make you cry real tears.

Then immediately he will begin a new blog at 3:17am on a Saturday because the world must read it, not because they asked, or because they want it, but because he will finally loving finish.

After 24,042 words, and a Twitter release in single tweets spread over the course of the following two weeks.

And then, at the end of the two weeks, he will stop.

runsamok
Jan 12, 2011

smellmycheese posted:

Well we know it involves hugely tedious fetch quests with unskippable cut scenes. That, in itself, is a solid foundation IMHO

But when 1 mission gives you enough credits to buy 12 shoulder-mounted railguns, each capable of killing a spaceship in a single hit how many tedious missions do you really need to do?

Clearly you don't understand space economics development, Citizen.

doingitwrong
Jul 27, 2013

gently caress me, this Q&A is so expertly done. The answers dance this fine line between acting as if the ship is real in a real working universe while still keeping everything up in the air and open to ~dreams~.

runsamok
Jan 12, 2011

"Given the dramatic scale-back in systems, how big are your balls for selling a high-end, luxury 'exploration' vessel?"

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot

doingitwrong posted:

gently caress me, this Q&A is so expertly done. The answers dance this fine line between acting as if the ship is real in a real working universe while still keeping everything up in the air and open to ~dreams~.

Really disappointed that they didn't specify whether the 600i would be able to handle VIPs when touring.

Also its weird the tourism variant doesn't have a medical bay.


actual reddit comments full of dreams none of this poo poo exists

doingitwrong
Jul 27, 2013
Me reading CIG marketing material and watching them separate money from backers.


"I admire its purity."

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot
It has a 2 man scanning station. For what. What is scanning. Why would one person even want to do it. Last we saw was the golf swing a year ago and not a whisper of any other mechanic since. How do sensors work in game. what is going on. Why are these nerds giving these people money.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is

peter gabriel posted:

I've never been more confused than when I played LoD, I was just bewildered from start to finish. Where was I? What was I? What was I doing? I still have no idea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRFCmI544HI

GOTY

someone should explain to derek that in a shoot mans game people generally want to shoot mans not wander around facilities and read signs

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

xXAdmiralBekHarXx posted:

It has a 2 man scanning station. For what. What is scanning. Why would one person even want to do it. Last we saw was the golf swing a year ago and not a whisper of any other mechanic since. How do sensors work in game. what is going on. Why are these nerds giving these people money.

1-man scanning stations are like golf. 2-man ones are more like curling.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Latin Pheonix posted:

Had this been any other sane studio I would've said that Derek Smart's post would've made little to no impact on the development. Anyone with a halfway competent PR team knows you just don't engage with a situation like that.

That said, Crobberts' absolute poo poo-fit about The Escapist's posts and his meltdown letter (including choice words about Derek Smart) leads me to believe there is genuinely a part of him, however small, that feels the need to prove himself since that outburst. If anything, I get the impression that the Derek/Escapist debacle may have, perversely, helped push SC out of theory-crafting hell and into development hell instead. Sadly, total managerial incompetence, poor planning and a team way too lopsided towards .jpg production means that the push is ultimately wasted and what the backers got was, well, Gamescom 2017.

If none of this had happened CIG might well be in exactly the same place as it is now, but I have a suspicion that they would have just kept on treading water. So if anything, I think SC would have been even further behind than it is now.

I've had the same opinion for a long time. Derek really helped CIG actually realize they need to do more than play film maker and mocap director and art critique.

Unfortunately though the fallout of that was "oh my god I actually don't know anything about game development" as shouted by Chris Roberts one night as he was driving back to the old mansion in his Porsche.

This eventual reality made him stop doing 10ftC, and he scrambled to try to catch up with himself. Only since he's his own worst enemy and hasn't got a fraction of an ability to stay focused, internally he told his guys "space game? Uh... Dune!!" and everybody collectively about died but they kept going.

After that failed and they had to name the video about how hard making games is, it was time to really buckle down and do real work. So Chris decided to abandon everything in the PU everybody wanted and decided to focus on motion capture and scripting for a demo of what his vision may eventually be.

This demo of course took way too long, and it was a sad day. Chris was now in this predicament where people had high expectations for 3.0, and he promised it an impossible timeline because he's his own worst enemy.

Naturally his timeline was blown through, but that didn't stop him either because he's a masochist whom whips himself with dollar bills all night long before doing more drugs. So in his infinite wisdom he published his chart projection for his timeline so the world can finally see how awesome he is and how on target he is with his project!

Naturally after every update caused pushes of projects and mass confusion amongst the believers, he pulled that poo poo down because deadlines are for weenies and not people who totally know what they are doing while redefining multiple genres and the very nature of gaming over the Internet.

But of course during this his actual game got no better, never improved, nobody what's happening, and there is so much chaff in the air normal people don't even know if Star Citizen is released or not because CIG is that confusing. Also because obfuscation of the truth keeps the lights on.

So! Almost up to date! :)

Chris Roberts, faced with the "how do I get 3.0 in everybody's hands???" almost immediately forgets this and decides that what he really needs to finish is his 3.0 demo nobody can actually play, but they can watch. Because movies.

So instead of working on his game, he pisses away the year building more demo pieces. And somewhere along the way mocap gets in the way yet again because that's all he can focus on, and out of loving nowhere there's a CIG webcam and face mapping to your characters face. Because... gently caress who the gently caress knows? Because the best way to be immersed is to watch the bank stare of people staring at a loving monitor and blinking every few minutes while eating chips?

And all along this, this 5-6 year stretch, the base game itself is basically an unplayable mess that nobody can enjoy, and has virtually no features that make it an actual game. Somewhere while Chris Roberts was trying so hard to make his dream game, he forgot his dream game.

This shouldn't be a surprise though because CR isn't a gamer, and doesn't even know to play his own game. When he does, he hates it and criticizes everything about it because like us, he's also seeing these things for the first time. But unlike us, he's supposed to know what the gently caress his own game is supposed to do and be.

So there you have it. Star Citizen may be used for your future webcam porn streams because it has high resolution loving glass or something.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Wiz posted:

I'm laughing so hard at the idea of earnestly being asked how many toilets your sci-fi spaceship in you sci-fi spaceship game will have, and thinking the question matters enough to put on an official FAQ.

I feel like I need to establish a canon number of toilets for Stellaris ships now.

Toilets are critical to citizens for some reason. Even some guy cosplayed being on a toilet in Star Citizen.

Idgi and I never will and I'm ok with this.

For people who think CIG will be able to fine tune the game to be as good as even Sims 1, right after they defeat doors and ramps and basic AI, I want to tell you that

nawledgelambo
Nov 8, 2016

Immersion chariot
gently caress, these people can't even get their youtube videos out on time.

Pretty telling, if I was a backer.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

HKS posted:

This and also if you have ever worked 1 day in your life as a cog, or as lubricant, a lever, whatever in 'the machine' you quickly understand that even at the most prestigious companies in the world it's smokes and mirrors all the way down. They all have problems with management, owners, CEOs, workers, overtime, crunch, egos, marketing making poo poo up, salespeople over selling, nepotism, just loving everything. The larger it gets the more problems they have.

But despite all this they usually deliver something because they have deadlines and most of the time customers don't pay until the product or service is delivered. Citizens don't understand this for some reason, even their favorite company is a fantasy in their minds.

True that dude. I'll never forget the moment during an all-hands meeting at <INSERT TECH COMPANY HERE>. I had a lot of questions for the VP giving the talk, because I had seen tons of poo poo that he was just smoothing right over. So I raised my hand and asked a real direct, pointed, almost cringey question that I knew he'd either be able to answer quickly or not. He went "whoaaaa, interesting question!" Then he hemmed and hawed, stumbled, false started, and it was absolutely clear in that moment, he had no idea what he was talking about and making it up on the spot. I realized these guys don't actually know what's going on, nobody does. Everyone's just kind of half-faking it, being very optimistic about incomplete/dubious information, and hoping poo poo works out, all the way up to the CEO. If it does, great! If it doesn't, new problem to solve.

Nobody knows what's happening. But some people value action over words. Chris Roberts is not one of these people. He thinks talking IS the point. Doing is just not in his purview.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Well, looks like my panda head is finally in the game. Time to buy a completionist.

You guys think my computer will run it? It's my phone, but I can play Candy Crush like a boss. Can I at least Spectrum from my phone so I can join the community who will welcome me with open arms???

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable
Also do you guys think the username xXxDerekSmartxXx42 is taken? Because I've honestly used it everywhere I go, and not just because it's Derek Smarts name with x's and the 42 from HHGTTG at the end, as that's just a craaaaaazy coincidence! It's really my lucky username.

Kramjacks
Jul 5, 2007

Maybe they can get Bunky to fund the game if the whales pull out.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

boviscopophobic
Feb 5, 2016

Australian tax dodge cash grab kept today from being a bloodbath.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

So what are the Cliffs with this Australian thing? CIG doing a sale enticing folks into believing the taxes are taking place or what?

boviscopophobic
Feb 5, 2016

Colostomy Bag posted:

So what are the Cliffs with this Australian thing? CIG doing a sale enticing folks into believing the taxes are taking place or what?

Some kind of Australian sales tax on digital goods is going up September 1st, so as a "favor" to Australian backers, CIG will allow them to purchase certain jpegs, which would otherwise only be offered at the anniversary sale, before the tax increase goes into effect.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

boviscopophobic posted:

Some kind of Australian sales tax on digital goods is going up September 1st, so as a "favor" to Australian backers, CIG will allow them to purchase certain jpegs, which would otherwise only be offered at the anniversary sale, before the tax increase goes into effect.

Thank you kind sir.

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


hmmm seems like a good deal and a great opportunity to buy back into the best thing to happen to videogames

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot

alf_pogs posted:

hmmm seems like a good deal and a great opportunity to buy back into the best thing to happen to videogames

backers are complaining that their aussie coupon codes only have a certain number of uses and are timing out. They're seizing the opportunity. Are you?

Kromlech
Jun 28, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
I'm seizing the opportunity that is my dick.

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Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

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