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Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
So wait





People AREN'T getting refunds???

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Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
I pledge alliegance to the scam

One game under Crobbers

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Thanks for remembering me while I went into post remission, my non posting is all better now, I can now confirm that MoMa dies at the end of this sordid tale. Sorry chum, but you're gunna get refactored in a desert

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
You wanna know a secret my adorable pet?

Its

A

Scam


Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Beet Wagon posted:

Does he at least go out honorably, surrounded by enemies but fighting until the last?

The Final Pledge involves facing your inner demons and denying that anything is the matter while you dehydrate in the desert heat and fending off vultures with your CIG door pass. The lucky ones hallucinate a cockpit, which clips into a oasis. What a feature! An oasis! Not just an oasis, one that is literally a vision.

The unlucky ones hear every um and ah that Crobberts ever uttered to the rising crescendo of air horns.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Propagandist posted:

So who's the final boss in Star Citizen

Chargebacks

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Hav posted:

Imma let you finish, but first, I want to tell people in the UK what this loving country does with a bacon sandwich

Sick filth but I appreciate your journalistic drive to deliver food related truths, I hope you find some brown sauce to assuage you in your future bacon endeavours

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Chalks posted:

I preferred your old avatar, mr tophat.

I changed it to reduce the agony from my multi posts.

Didn't help the agony for most

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
The bacon sandwich is a rousing thing when done correctly, it's practically a smelling salt for builders

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
CIG? In charge of something that has to fly?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
No, no Sandi, I don't want a private jet. You see, I already own a blimp.

Ben, stay in the hangar, okay? Okay.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Sandi, I assure you, for the last time dearest, just because it has private in the name, doesn't mean you can shave it, now come on, get on the plane before the backers figure out hahahahaha that joke, it never gets old does it babe? Hand me a jpeg, I need a pick me up

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Say it Sandi. You know it's not the same unless you say it. Please. You promised you would. Come on, I'm under a lot of stress.

Helmet helmet helmet

Unnnnnnffffff dreams. Dreams, happen...now

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

MilesK posted:

The Agent spoiled FF15 for me. Who should I talk to about getting his account deleted for violating my TOS?

Spoiled? Games aren't food, they're art, now enjoy your pretty boys

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
"Tell us everything you know! You have to! Derek Smart will look after you now, you're free from Sandi, you're free from refactoring, you're out of the game! The con? The studio? You're free! You were just a cog in this horrible machine, but it's over now. You'll never have to see any of them again. But you have to tell us something, anything, that will put a stop to this mad man!"

The CIG employee weeps. He is about to speak, but he feels the microchip activate within his brain. Loyalty to the vision would be ensured. CIG could buy sliding doors with keycards, this was a trifle.

His mouth opens, and all that emits is a PARP. Somewhere, Chris smiles as he looks at a photoshopped face of Gary Oldman.

"Another successful refactoring."

Mr.Tophat fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Jan 11, 2017

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
"Plot? PLOT? There's no scheme here you visionless incompetent prick, no ploy, no scam, no hussle, no long con, no ruse, no angle, no nothing okay! You're loving fired! Now get out of here!"

To this day, no one who works for CIG knows the storyline.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

The Titanic posted:

You're free! Welcome back, friend. :shobon:

Captain Ahab had been submerged under the water with his nemesis for what seemed like an eternity. The crew looked on, wondering if the ivory leg could sustain him under the waves. After long moments, the whale rose up from the murky waters, bleeding as it rolled in agony to shake the still alive and still stabbing Ahab.

"FROM HELL'S HEART I REFUND THEE"

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Kobbo_Fett posted:

What is thy bidding, my master?

In the begining, there was a dream. In the middle, there was a studio. In the end? As the great lyricists Linkin Park stated, 'it doesn't even matter'

So with this in mind, enjoy the ride and pledge your mind, body, chair, soul and posts to the void that is the dream of Star Citizen. It's like Zanakand, but instead of Aeons we have whales, and instead of a sphere system, we have backer goals.

'lets all go to the ELE guys!'

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Oh wait in FFX there is literally a massive whale fuggg it's perfect

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
'Work experience? Well I *did* shill for the most ambitious project ever undertaken.'

'Sir, I was asking if you've ever been committed before in your life'

'Well, jeez, I'm not as committed as RSI to delivering an immersive masterpiece, who could be, but from I'm gathering from this dialogue tree, I get to be part if the team now? First a pledge now a commitment? RSI know what's up'

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Zzr posted:

Like reveal his adress, phone number, real name and the scientology church he visits ? Someone can do it if it's funny, it's allowed by the mod-admin.

Put down the doxx or we will shoot

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
What happens in Brazil, stays in towels

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
How do I say DREAMS in this alien language? Or should I just induce a hallucinagenic fit and attach chalk to my fingertips to get the same result?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Bitcoin wasn't a scam, I got very very high due to Bitcoin. I was satisfied. Citizens huff hype to get high. I know who got the better deal.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

TrustmeImLegit posted:

I know its the internet and everything but it doesn't always have to be adversarial. Theres no reason to feel threatened by someone liking something you don't like.

No one is threatened by Star Citizen. Dreams are pleasant things, and are also non-refundable.

Star Citizen is a cactus field, where delirious commandos hack at those prickly growths with blunted machetes, declaring that water lurked somewhere between the pain, agony and heatstroke.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Santa isn't real son. Nor is Star Citizen. It's not a game.
It's a delusion. A delusion that funds holidays and pollinates smaller delusions.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

TrustmeImLegit posted:

Wow. Well I'll keep in mind to try not to use memes here from now on.

I disagree that its a scam. You don't employ that many people and kill yourselves in crunch if you were just looking to make a scam buck off someone.

Star Citizen is like those hostage situation where the antagonists demand a helicopter, and everyone is like, sure, there's a chopper on it's way, no problem sir. Everyone knows flashbangs are the only way out of it, they just agree that the chopper will be unharmed on its way to Mexico out of common courtesy.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

intardnation posted:

what about santa ball? or is that a CR myth?

Santa Ball? Do you slow dance with St. Nick and get drunk on eggnog? You fucker now I want a mince pie. And an IDRIS to hang on my imaginatary mantlepiece.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Sillybones posted:

That is like a horoscope for games. It describes the primary themes of every game released in the past 30 years.

I'm a Scorpio!




How much money do I lose?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
How many JPEGS are required to save my pc gaming soul?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
I just want to play a game where I not only see crates, but I ship them in a ship. Is that too much to ask?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Zounds! What a caper!

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

This...this is fine.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
I for one am relieved by the console talk. I am also relieved by the sounds of mid air turbulance, tinnatus, and the words, 'we need to talk.'

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Do you think the coffee machine is still being used? Oh to be a fly on the wall in those magical studios where they churn out dreams and flip off the rules of business.

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Behold, a frog who encountered the Diamond Frogs!

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Greetings from the ER. Minor break. I get a free orthopedic shoe. Probably would have been fine on my own but as big as I am taking care of my feet is important.

Bathe them in beans or beetroot. Forget the shoe. To truly heal, you must immerse

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

SelenicMartian posted:

So, before Sandi pulls the video...


Beautiful work

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
Star Citizen development is a circle? More like a mobuus strip of refactoring.

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Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Meridian posted:

What are you goddamn goons doing in here?

Quick! Quick! Hide the body! Burn the books! Deny we even know about Star Britizen! Make it look like an accident, oh God plesse don't probate me again!

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