Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Raskolnikov posted:

It is almost like one of these games is out of totally expected and customary pre-alpha, pre-vertical slice phase after only 12 years of development! When SC is 12 years old, it will make PC Gaming great again. What has ED done but be a boring space trucking game?

Exist

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 19:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Jul 19, 2025 02:48

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Propagandist posted:

'Twas the night before Paarpmas, and all through the 'Verse,
Not a backer was pledging, for it just got worse

Delusions were posted on Reddit with care,
In hopes that St. Christopher soon would be there;

Citizens were nestled all snug in their beds,
While autism chariots danced in their heads

Titanic with her iceberg, and I with by bunnes,
Had just finished a season of Friends reruns

When out of the blue there came a new Tweet,
I sprang from the chair to the Warlord's drumbeat

Away to the forums I flew like a flash,
I refreshed the thread and stroked my moustache

The goons were elated, while MoMA was stunned,
Chris Roberts had finally run out of funds

When, what to my wondering eyes do I see,
The Warlord himself is now claiming a V

A "washed-up developer", so salty and tart,
I knew in a moment it must be D_Smart.

More wordy than EULAs his topics they came
He tweeted, and posted, and blogged them by name:

"Now! Archer, now! Legal, now! Lesnick and Lando,
"On! Sandi, on! Zendesk, you're snowflakes, commandos!

"To the federal building! To the town city hall!
"Now litigate! Litigate! Litigate all!"

As interns that 'fore the bankruptcy will flee,
When parted with paycheck, sans college degree;

So up to the jailhouse the p'licemen they flew,
With the car full of staff - and St. Christopher too:

And then in a minute, I heard in the thread
The anger of backers was fin'lly widespread

As I refreshed the thread, and was getting right sauced
A new blog from D_Smart, so smug and aroused

He typed in all caps, was having a cow
His sources were leaking: "Apocolypse, Now!"

A bundle of links were slapp'd right at the end,
His first July blog post, "Read it!" he contends

His eyes - how they twinkled! His hairline, how thinning,
Old Greybeard had won; on his chair he sat spinning

His poo poo-eating grin displayed a bright glow,
And his message was thus: "loving told you so!"

"They switched the game's engine", he wrote with a curse.
"There is always more, and it is always worse!"

The crossed arms of colbert he showed with an air
He cackled with glee, and leaned back in his chair

His post had that rhythm, that rhyme, and that station
"Forty-two is eighty-sixed, sweet vindication!"

But I saw him exclaim, when this fire he set alight
"Happy Paarpmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Beautiful

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 17:49

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Sunswipe posted:

But will he suffer the inevitable consequence of piracy?

The weird thing is that Sandi having been in porn is so much funnier because it was such softcore stuff. Somehow, her being in the sort of full on, double-penetration while being whipped and pissing on a dwarf porn that ~~I would~~ some people jerk off to would be more sad than anything. But tickle porn that doesn't even have nudity? That's just funny.

I like that reddit post that implies it isn't true when it's literally on her IMDB

# ¿ Dec 30, 2016 21:35

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

No but for real "what if Superman hadnt had ma and Pa to teach him to be a good person and instead he was a lonely drunk" is a solid Elseworlds story

# ¿ Mar 26, 2017 20:59

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

trucutru posted:

And please keep this in mind that, among other things, 2.6.2 has simplified controls because you no longer can go prone:

Please enjoy your time playing this game

If it was a real game and also good having an option to control it via some absurd setup like that would be kinda awesome actually

# ¿ Mar 27, 2017 03:58

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

kw0134 posted:

CARL MARK FORCE IV might be the exception that proves the rule because he was A: caught, B: caught trying to scam an even dumber motherfucker for millions in bitcoin. If you're gonna be corrupt, you're probably going to do so over something like taking hundreds of thousands of dollars of "untraceable" cryptocurrency from a gargantuan idiot ordering a hit on a fictitious person.

Not threatening some guy on reddit talking poo poo about a game you preordered.

The best part is still Carl Mark Force IV pretending to be a hitman and taking a job to kill himself

# ¿ May 18, 2017 12:55

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Ghostlight posted:

While a classic Carl Mark Force IV move, I personally think the best one is where he accidentally signed 'Carl' at the bottom of a PM to the guy his entire operation is supposed to expose then hours later when he realised what he'd done sending another one saying "whoops, my name is Carla - I have lots of boyfriends and girlfriends "

Big fan of the photo he had his daughter take of him wearing a hoodie and an eye patch too

# ¿ May 18, 2017 13:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Jul 19, 2025 02:48

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

so what was derek right about, i just saw the title change and i dont want to read backwards

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 19:29

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?