Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

1. Take out a loan on your "IP's valuation"
2. Pay out "investors" and "shareholders" (read: CR, Ortwin, Elms bros, etc) with loan money
3. Default on the loan, dumping the poo poo sack of steaming nothingness that is Star Citizen on a bank
4. Peace right the gently caress out.

I mean, it's genius really. And not even close to the kind of fraud that bankers got away with in the 2008 financial crisis.

Shitizens will blame the bank for robbing their dreams, while you scoot out to Cabo with the money. As long as they're not technically breaking laws they're untouchable.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 23:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Feb 13, 2026 08:33

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

We've partnered with CIG.

Us and a handful of develop-mentally disabled turbo-dorks are the only ones left who give a poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 23:58

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

peter gabriel posted:

Holy poo poo hi Toops!

Hey PGabz! Miss you guys. Feels good to be back in the mix.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2017 01:48

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

his nibs posted:

Sell the assets to goons to make the all-conquering Solar Plebian?

Yes. I am patiently waiting for CIG to gently caress it so I can scoop up all those hot wet assets on the cheapo, in order to bring the kind of Fidelity goons deserve from Solar Plebeian.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 03:43

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

spacetoaster posted:

"Can't wait to share my creation with RSI forums. Maybe even Chris will see it!" -Sole survivor of horrific car accident who spent months in a coma and never fully recovered

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 04:07

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

MarcusSA posted:

You clearly aren't playing the PC version correctly.

I don't regret spending the money one bit.

TheAgent posted:

sorry I'm only 14 so I have no idea what that is...some kind of sex toy???

You haven't truly flown a fake spaceship until you've flown one with a "Thrustmaster" up your rear end.

Toops fucked around with this message at 00:59 on Jun 28, 2017

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 00:52

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

The Titanic posted:

And now with proof CIG is in genuine financial distress, the reality that the commercial release of Star Citizen as pretty much what it is currently has to be dawning on people.

Wrong. You people continue to misunderstand their mastery of repression, denial, and the unblemished rejection of rational thought.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 01:04

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

What's most amazing to me at this point is how both sides, the skeptics and the believers, operate with a very similar thought process. We have faith that "things are finally starting to fall apart," and they have faith that "things are finally starting to come together." The reality is, neither is true. We've been living identical, diametrically opposed circle jerks for literal years, the one balancing the other in an objectively autistic dance.

But the most impressive thing about Star Citizen is that nothing ever happens. Nothing. It neither fails nor succeeds. It neither lives nor dies. It's just a thing that's there, like a hill. It serves no purpose, it has no intrinsic value and, much like the rest of this universe, the only meaning to be found comes from within. All of your experiences, beliefs, desires, and predispositions get tacked on like so many sticky-notes and I can't fight the suspicion that if Star Citizen is anything, it's a mirror.

Do you like what you see?

Namaste, friends.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 15:43

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

MinorInconvenience posted:

False equivalence is false. The skeptics and believers are not alike (except for the funding aspects I note below).

Being a SC skeptic isn't faith-based, it is evidence based. The years of delays, the feature creep, the constant ship sales, secretive loans, a dev schedule that is pushed back two weeks every two weeks, etc. You can look at all of that, compare it to failed and successful games in the past and come up with a good, rational and fact-based hypothesis that Star Citizen as advertised is completely hosed, and a Star Citizen game in any stable form is unlikely.

Being a SC believer is faith-based because they have to ignore the above evidence and just believe. "It will all work out in the end" is their mantra.

The only skeptic "belief" centers around the question of when the money is going to give out. Now that is unknowable giving the wacky funding and lack of financial transparency, so when folks say "ELE next week!", that's obviously unknowable bullshit. Nobody knows just when the idiot whales will stop giving CIG enough money to keep lurching from making GBS threads patch to lovely patch.

tl;dr the only faith-based skeptic claims is when SC dies, not if...

Ok.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 20:03

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I enjoy it - I've encompassed Star Citizen's continued and unending story into my personal narrative, any major changes to it would be disruptive perhaps to the point of psychosis

I watched a ted talk about that by some guy that looked like a child molester. But I agree.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 21:03

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Amazing Zimmo posted:

That could actually come true, with the emotional and financial investment that some backers have in this game they could end up depressed to the point of suicide. I'm not trying to be funny when I say that either, I think it's a real danger.

I think this is quite funny and I hope they do it.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 04:49

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Except Humility. I love that poor lil guy and I worry about him every day.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 04:50

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

spacetoaster posted:

https://youtu.be/gs6oPhWcsG4

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 04:52

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Star Citizen: I kind of remorse the gently caress, sort of.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 05:05

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Mr Fronts posted:

I get all teary, every drat time.

That Sun Kil Moon cover of Ocean Breathes Salty is pretty ruthless.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 20:34

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

I'm up to Vai Zappa chat and trans-continental mailing theory, is that over yet?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 20:43

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Bootcha posted:

Jesus christ just look at the if branching, one after the other, four deep in four lines. One tiny snippet of code and it's undeniable that CIG's programmers are god drat amateurs.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 00:11

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

XK posted:

So, here's the WTFOSaurus meltdown. Go to 7:08 if it doesn't automatically.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlacl84JNVA&t=428s

This is the fate of every star citizen fan on the earth.

I loved this video not for the schadenfreude, but because it was a real, human moment. The bleak, cold emptiness of Chris Robert's Star Citizen.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 03:53

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Quavers posted:

I know bugger all about programming, so why is branching bad?

An "if" branch adds "state" to the system, and makes your code tightly coupled. Nested if branches are a big no-no. For one, it's very hard to understand the intention of the code. But more importantly, it adds entropy and chaos to the program as a whole. Let's take that linked code as an example.

code:

if (thing one is true)
   and if (thing two is true)
      and if (thing three is true)
         and if (thing four is true)
            then do something

This one function is dependent on the state of four other parts of the code. These parts may be intuitively unrelated to this part. If any one of those other four parts changes, it could (and provably will) effect this part. This is what I mean by "tightly coupled" code. Basically it adds chaos. So if this pattern becomes widespread, the code becomes extremely resistant to change, because every time you change one thing, it breaks all the other things that depend on it for assessing the state of the machine.

What we don't see is what happens if any one of those things are false. This is probably what the rest of that method looks like:

code:

if (thing one is true) {
   if (thing two is true) {
      if (thing three is true) {
         if (thing four is true) {
             do action 1
         } else {
             do action 2
         }
      } else if (thing five true) {
         do action 3
      } else {
         do action 4
      }
   else {
      do action 5
   }
else if (thing 6 true) {
   do action 6
else {
   do action 7
}

Even in pseudo-code this is obviously a terrible mess. People wonder why CIG take so long and SC has so many bugs. This is why. Their programmers suck.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 04:32

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Bubbacub posted:

How will you use serialized variables to repair your marriage?

How will you use 64 bit positioning to make the blood flow back into your son's wrists and fill his ailing heart with the love you could not show him.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 21:54

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Mirificus posted:

+42

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 01:20

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Amazing Zimmo posted:

https://twitter.com/SandiGardiner/status/895078378285416448

That poly count seems rather low for a CIG creation.

lol 750k polys (~1.5 million tris) for one ship. That dog don't lick peanut butter.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 01:28

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

hot balls man no homo posted:

"Are we going to have jobs next year you loving thumb-headed fraud?"

That's the question I would be asking. Sucks to be them.

They're complicit in the whole thing. The worker bees remain at CIG because they're:

1. Building their resume
2. Just in it for the cash
3. Not good enough to work anywhere else
4. Too stupid/aspy to understand their role in this monument to hubris and failure.

None of those options elicit any sympathy from me. If you're unhappy at your job, then change the system from the inside, quit, or shut up and do your work.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 22:07

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Nicholas posted:

tbf, getting a job in the games industry is really hard; especially if you've never had one before. if i were just coming out of college with a poo poo load of debt it'd take a job there just for the experience.

And thus I wouldn't feel the least bit sorry for you. You're getting not only money, but valuable resume stuffs.

Let's be honest here guys. If you work for a software company, every day is a swirling toilet of chaos, where no one knows what the hell is going on or what fresh new hell tomorrow has in store. You're gonna be frustrated, confused, convinced that management is incompetent, and generally curious about your own sanity on a daily basis. Nothing new on that front, it's literally the same everywhere.

There are only two essential questions that should matter:
1. Do you enjoy the work
2. Is your company is actively scamming retards

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 23:05

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

toiletbrush posted:

Experienced leads/architects with the best will in the world can't keep code hygienic and stop tech-debt mounting if they're in crunch/'just hack it in for the demo and do it properly later' mode 100% of the time, and having an architecture with strong technical direction (that also helps stop the juniors doing dumb stuff) is really tough with requirements that are constantly changing or non-existent. I bet they're mostly decent devs, they're just working in the worst environment possible.

I love to poo poo on CIG as much as anyone but some of this armchair dev analysis is cringy as hell.

gently caress that dude. If you write lovely code because you let yourself get pushed around, if you don't have the backbone to either change the system or quit, then you're a lovely developer. It doesn't matter how "good" you are in theory. This is Star Citizen doublethink. "They're actually really good developers, they just write poo poo code that doesn't work because" reads a lot like "This game is really amazing it's just an unplayable pile of poo poo right now because"

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 15:05

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

If you have any idea what you're doing, refactoring on the fly when you feel the impulse to copy/paste code is instinctual and doesn't actually take any longer.

The problem is, a lot of developers in the gaming industry are the worst kind of programmers. They're code-closet cowboys who think they're geniuses because no one can read their tangled web of spaghetti vomit, when in actual fact, they're junior-level hackers who couldn't write a hello world without stack.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 15:17

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Do you think Ben is aware that the decrease in feeling within his lower extremities is not normal?

Do you think he's ever experienced much feeling in his lower extremities? I mean, nothin' from nothin' ain't nothin'.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 16:21

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Pope Corky the IX posted:

You are a terrible person.

Uh oh

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 17:51

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Variable 5 posted:

Yes, you mustn't make fun of the horrible fat person for being horribly fat.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 18:53

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

XK posted:

There is no "on topic", or derailing, for this thread. Especially if it's even vaguely interesting. Just post, friend.

AMD x86_64 was an inevitability. Someone had to do it, both AMD and Intel tried, and AMD won. It was inevitable because of both the need to move to 64-bit, and the need for backwards compatibility.

The various sized opcodes is really the only major flaw currently in x86_64, and I can't see any way around it. Opcodes can be anywhere from 1 byte to 15 bytes. It complicates the instruction fetching and decoding.

It would be nice if all the backwards compatibility could be offloaded into transparent emulation, and the shackles of the past could be cast off.

Oh, that's what the microcode layer does.

For once, something actually works out.

Edit: Variable opcode size sucks for anyone writing disassemblers, but can be nicely leveraged if you're trying to write some form of code obfuscation scheme.

Ah, so that's how the sausage is made!

*goes back to writing primarily setters and getters*

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 20:24

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Sabreseven posted:

it makes you feel like your chode is on fire and your armpits go really cold. It's an experience thats all I can say

That's how Ben feels every time he hasn't eaten for ten minutes.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 21:12

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Lladre posted:

Fresh college grads made Apple and Microsoft. So what's your point yo.

You right there's an extremely strong correlation between inexperience and success. Better get yourself an Idris asap supplies are limited!

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 15:49

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Tippis posted:

Gah. No! The whole point of Archering is that it's not a professional thing to do, you amateur� wait. I think we may be trapped in a paradox here.

An amateur Archerer is an experienced expert. It's a Benjamin Button type deal

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 16:43

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

200 total cargo at 3.75 minutes a pop.

12.5 hours to unload your ship.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 22:06

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Daztek posted:

IMMERSION

All part of one genius's vision and certainly not the malignant psychosis of a derranged lunatic.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 22:09

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Scruffpuff posted:

These people deserve every bad thing that happens to them.

Never forget: their lives are a perpetual misery. These are broken people with no self-worth, no self-esteem, no discernible talents, and no future. They look down and feel a stranger in their skin, a rich and fertile soul if only the sun of their promise had not shone so bright so as to render it a desert. A seed sealed in a pod that will never bloom, buried deep beneath an arrid wastelend, barely alive in a coffin of their own hubris, trapped, confused, drifting slowly away from any sense of belonging to the natural world, thrashing in zero g without a tether in the unrelenting vacuum of their meaningless imagination. They are tedious, stupid, pedantic, and worst of all, boring. They are, by any unit of measure, dead already. They are the last gasp of breath before a coma.

I, for one, am glad of it.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 01:51

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Nicholas posted:

It turns out the lead production report developer fell off his bike and broke both his wrists. Sorry everyone, these things happen.

This is still maybe my fav Star Citizen moment. One guy broke his wrist maybe two weeks before a major deadline, and they tell the entire world in an ATV that their whole project was delayed indefinitely because of it. It's like watching a small terrified child trying to learn how to lie in real-time because they got caught eating chocolate before dinner..

CIG is bad at just about everything*, and yet there are people out there so stupid and desperate to belong they'll do anything to prop up this mongoloid abomination.

*their artists are, for the most part, extremely talented, and there's obviously some small core of talent on the programming front. It's hard as hell just to make a texh demo.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 05:05

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Kromlech posted:

This thread is becoming obsessed with WTFo and i personally find it unbecoming.

There's a cringey subset of stalky weirdos in this thread that constantly link brown sea poo poo and yes, it's unbecoming. I just skip right past those posts and indirectly criticize them when I can.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 05:08

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

SelenicMartian posted:

CIG is literally working on smoke and mirrors now.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 12:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Feb 13, 2026 08:33

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Foo Diddley posted:

Repulsing people who ~~willingly hang out with~~ are trapped in gravitational orbit around Ben Lesnick is a hell of an accomplishment imo

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 17:28

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

«‹›42 »