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The hilarity is not intentional . Believe us
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Dec 17, 2016 22:56
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Sappo569 posted:hosed up if true. But after that one developer crowd funding his daughters hospital bill or whatever it is nothing would surprise me Let's talk hypothetically for a minute . Let's think outside the box a little. Conjurate a scenario where a well known dev , face of the company art side if you will. Has been involved in a minor transgression, one we can all relate to. Possibly this individual has secured the services of a lady of the night. Maybe some chemical enhancement has been indulged in. Possibly this has happened in a backer funded CIG private chalet somewhere in the United States of America. Now maybe this entire endeavour has gone catastrophically awry . Maybe violence has ensued and maybe just maybe this lady of the night is now a justified complainant ? Cash is needed and a smoke screen to obfuscate this infamous gentleman's exit and continuation as free man. Think about it . It's all just nonsense speculated upon by me but makes you think .
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Dec 20, 2016 23:01
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Lol
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Dec 20, 2016 23:05
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scrubs season six posted:Does this have anything to do with your posts about Thai ladyboys? Blink once for yes. After that weird thing where a contingent of very odd wankers from somewhere called fyad came in and royally hosed up the thread I no longer come on here really so cannot spill anymore beans. A good friend of mine has achieved nirvana today so thought I would swing by and muse a little that's all. None of what I speculated upon is true of course.
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Dec 20, 2016 23:10
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spacetoaster posted:You may think so, but come on. Star Citizen is beyond any of our ken. Don't care what anyone says about her . She has a festive arse
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Dec 20, 2016 23:17
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Tribute to the exciting new lumber yard news I'm a lumberhack and I'm OK I snort all night and I lie all day (He's a lumberhack and he's OK He snorts all night and he lies all day) I bullshit whales, I wave my hands I never play my game On Fridays I'm on you tube And it's always just the same (He bullshits whales..) (He's a lumberhack...) I wear a wig , I've had Botox I've hired a private chef I cry myself to sleep each night Cos Derek smart was right (He bullshits whales...) (He's a lumberhack...) I promise dreams , I beg and plead And none of you ask me why There's someone at my space door It's the loving fbi ...... (He bullshits whales..) (He's a lumberhack..)
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Dec 27, 2016 17:51
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Holy poo poo. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha.
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Jan 27, 2017 19:18
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Amazing scenes
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Jan 27, 2017 19:18
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Fellow commandos. Prepare yourselves for a hilarious announcement at the end of March /start of April. A Stimperial address is planned to explain where sq42 is , or indeed isnt. Its going to be even better than 'You've had it all along stop loving whining'
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Feb 13, 2017 15:36
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Better you hear it from Lord Croberts
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Feb 13, 2017 15:42
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This is an appeal on behalf of CIG As some of you are aware the 3rd world is in turmoil. People are dying , lacking from simple basic human requirements like clean water, sanitation, vaccines and food. Many children and vunerable members of these societies die unnecessarily on a daily basis . Just a small donation each month could ensure these deprived communities have clean water, proper health care , education and uncontaminated food. OR You could by another JPEG and help fund the best drat space sim ever. We are nearly there with the sim and the space bit but we need your help to get across the finishing line. Please donate generously. Despite our CEO going on record and telling everyone there is more than enough money to finish both games as promised , we still need money . This money will merely add the icing to the cake and add the virtual sprinkles and in no way indicates a biblical mismanagement of funds . You may notice that whenever a festive day appears , manufactured or otherwise , we will be there with an exciting JPEG sale. You have already had the St Swithin’s day TARGA bargains and who can forget the recent Valentine’s day special ! keep your eyes your eyes open for the forthcoming Gloucester Cheese fastival PNG sale and the ongoing Sale starting in March to celebrate Irish American month where some of our BMP'S and JPEG’S will be hued green by our very own Ryan Archer. EightAce fucked around with this message at 10:26 on Feb 15, 2017 |
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Feb 15, 2017 10:00
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boviscopophobic posted:I haven't kept close tabs on the CIG jobs page for a while but they've continually had 50-60 positions listed. After some of the positions started getting conspicuously old (like, early 2015 old) they started reposting them with new dates but few other changes. In fact, I think the number of engineering positions listed is now down from what it was before. But all in all, I wouldn't take that page as much of an indicator of anything. Purely hypothetical of course and totally NOT true in any way . But imagine if Gary Parpman was promised a royalty based on his performance , imagine that he took a slight pay cut for this . Imagine he signed a specific deal for the use of his likeness. Now imagine that somehow CIG were deemed to have used his image inappropriately. Say like releasing pre-production mocap set ups and unauthored textures of his face etc . Now let’s pretend that CIG have slipped ever so slightly behind with sq42 and those royalties seem less and less likely, even so far as Mr Parpmans original contract clearly specified a date that has now sailed past . Let’s say that Mr Parpman has called his agent .... Now lets check if Mr Parpmans agent is the same one he had when filming Sq42 Like I said, just a hypotheseis from a low level wig technician that once walked past the LA office
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Apr 25, 2017 12:27
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ssss
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May 2, 2017 13:16
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Can anyone breakdown the following into an easy on the eye pie chart please. It's so foundry dev staff have a quick go to graphic . How many of the star citizen fan base are: - pedos - auditors - eastern European hit men - dsmart alts - connected to the games industry - on disability - ex military - pedos - German - have a twitch stream - are single - post on reddit - pedos Thanks
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May 9, 2017 19:36
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Awesome thankyou
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May 9, 2017 19:40
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What's wrong with having Susan Sarandon in the game ?
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May 13, 2017 14:46
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The current build of 3.0 is actually looking pretty great. It's missing over 50% of what Chris promised but it looks fantastic. I reckon it will be an August release and will be the mvp. I think the plan from there out is basically. Amazon
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May 20, 2017 07:51
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Tokamak posted:
But that means that commando's cant hide in the crates and then jump out and take prisoners for sex slaves ? This is was clearly promised
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Jun 22, 2017 13:56
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Hav posted:They'd have to be UK-based, and the only person I can think of would be Erin, but putting up personal money kinda defeats the entire object. Being 'introduced' to the bank by someone who was already a customer, maybe, but that's the missing piece. Why Coutts? Stabbing a pen into the 'shady grifter' category in the Yellow Pages might work, but for an advance on a tax credit? Someone said, here, use this number and talk to this guy. This is 100% NOT the case
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Jun 29, 2017 15:22
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Hav posted:Which bit? There were multiple stabs in the dark there. No one in the UK , least of all Erin has put up any collateral on a personal level. Because sq42 is now going to be rolled into SC proper as a game mode it means that what the bank has signed up for is pretty much everything , Should CIG default on a payment within 60 days. You would have to hire a crack legal team of IP specialists to unravel sq42 from SC should anything go wrong.
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Jun 29, 2017 15:45
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XK posted:Both TheAgent and you have now said SQ42 is being rolled into SC as a game mode. How is this affected by the packages being split last year? The separate package is now just a disabled option, or an abrupt start to the game without the lead-in? The mistake you have made here is trying to think logically and on the asumption that any of this is ever coming out
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Jun 29, 2017 15:53
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And as the hands on the doomsday clock move inexorably forward. As the staff begin to aggressively question management decisions. As once again the frame rate hits below 10 fps with only one player, before crashing...... Chris's rear end in a top hat blinks like a beacon as he prepares the escape pod.
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Aug 9, 2017 20:17
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Gamescon There will be mini vignette trailers for. The guy off game of thrones The Aussie dude from rogue one An exciting young actress called Sandi ? Live feed from the floor watching people playing sc. all totally random punters NO CIG shills/ employees A qa CIG employee will play 3.0 . He will land he will wiz round on that black bike thing . He will get a mission . He is rote learning this so it doesn't crash on the day as certain areas will cause the framrate to drop below 10 fps . Not sure if this will be press only or general shitizenry A new ship will be unveiled Chris will deliver an impassioned speech via video link Derek will laugh and tweet that he called it and it's glorious etc
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Aug 13, 2017 20:22
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That toilet paper is classed as a company perk. The wilmslow office got it in July for all the hard work they put into 3.0.
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Aug 30, 2017 17:10
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Just about everyone has let him down . As he chugs back vodka in a wilmslow bar with his old school friends ( who don't actually want to be there ). He ruminates on his situation. Somewhere beneath his luxurious thatch of natural and well groomed hair , he knows the jig is up. Nothing is panning out as intended. He didn't show the sq42 trailer at gamescom after all because he's now decided to quietly roll it into sc proper and it won't be a standalone but the backers aren't ready for this bombshell yet. His oldest most trusted cohorts have told him the 3.0 presentation went down a storm but the internet says otherwise ? Why can no one keep up with his vision ? Why is he surrounded by fools ? The tarmac is running out . The one huge secret that only himself and these four guys drinking with him know about could become public before Christmas. Winter is indeed coming. Time to turn off the emails and lay low for a while . Citizen con is not far now. He can do this . The vision must not fade , one last bespoke presentation . But it must be as smooth as butter no more fuckups his editing team had to chop over an hour from gamescom before they had anything looking even vaguely competent. People are asking questions. People he really doesn't want asking questions..... financial people. It's time to activate the plan . He needs a scapegoat for this final phase. Whose it going to be .....
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Sep 4, 2017 02:18
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Lladre posted:He doesn't know poo poo. Right on the money commando. !! See you in the verse
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Sep 4, 2017 04:17
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Whatever happened to batgirl ?
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Sep 8, 2017 03:15
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Citizen con soon and I for one cannot wait. Despite only being a humble intern that once walked past Chris's office and despite being " Full of poo poo", I do have a basic understanding of what Citizen con will be this year. Wig commander understands that this has to be a rally to end all rallies. They need cash ...desperately. He is still furious about the previous couple presentations that he did. Blaming pretty much everyone but himself for the farcical mix of PP presentations and game crashes that resulted in him looking a bit of a c*nt. This means they need a showstopper and they nearly have it in the form of 3.0. Without smoke and mirrors and without scripted sleight of hand , you can seamlessly land on a moon, disembark and run around doing stuff. It looks really nice and is a legit thing. The remit now is all polish anything that doesn’t work is getting chopped. This presents a caveat in that it leaves just the one moon that’s up to0 scratch. This will be the basis of the official 3.0 roll out that will be out just before Christmas with a new set of ToS (To stop the refund waterfall) and classify as the MVP to take care of any legal bodies that may be paying close attention, not to mention auditors and banking persons. The only other thing that needs addressing is sq42. This doesn’t exist as a game in any form and presents a problem in that much of the finance (In the UK) is based on sq42 . So to fix this you will be seeing a promo vid showing a pre rendered walk around and a couple of short vignettes including one with Pusher in it ! and another with the Geordie bloke from game of thrones. The walk around is rendered straight from the 3.0 build by the way with different character meshes . finally a new ship will be revealed and a sale will be announced on some other ship that will upset backers who paid top whack for it , but hey who gives a gently caress. So I hope everyone buys back in before Christmas so you can all play 3.0. See you in the verse commando's (This is the opinion of a former intern and does not reflect what will actually happen)
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Sep 26, 2017 08:37
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his nibs posted:what stuff? You can crash your Elite Dangerous buggy into a variety of ramps .
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Sep 26, 2017 09:28
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Anyone heard of the snctm club in LA ? has it got anything to do with game development ? Would it be a likely venue for an offsite meeting of some very very very very high ups management types from a game dev studio? Just a bit confused as I don’t live near LA.
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Sep 28, 2017 13:06
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TheAgent posted:oh sanctum, the wannabe "we are your betters" sex club, where you can basically watch young 20 something hollywood types gently caress each other and the pornstar escorts they hired for the evening And everyone stands around in a T pose. A poo poo swinging club with $300 handjobs and $50 cocktails, thats a total rip off, sounds like the sort of place that the people Im refering too would most definatley have an offsite meeting.
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Sep 28, 2017 15:20
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Can someone start a " Citizen of the week " tracker on the run up to citizen con? I want an easy reference so I can review their enthusiasm and all round citizenship after Chris's presentation
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Oct 3, 2017 21:00
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Citizen con IS going to be loving hilarious if what I've just seen is actually going to happen.
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Oct 6, 2017 17:55
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Anyone else seen the schedule for CitizenCon yet? 'Xi'An history, language, physiology' from 530 - 630 is what I'm most looking forward too. I only wish they would spend longer on this
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Oct 26, 2017 11:34
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trucutru posted:To Humans, Xi’an culture can seem rigid and lifeless. A majority of that is artifice. The Xi’an present themselves as polite but neutral, particularly to those they have never met before. This is an age-old social testing mechanism. They approach a person as a blank-slate and let the other person set the tone (or tip his or her hand) as to how the interaction will progress. When a Xi’an feels comfortable with a contact, they will begin to lose the artifice and relate on a more personal level. So Vulcans that look like mutant ninja turtles. ? You have ruined this for me now and I was really looking forward to that talk.
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Oct 26, 2017 12:07
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well with the refund cascade. The recent bad JPEG sales and the year end 'Friends and family of Chris Roberts benevolent bonus fund ' Looming. They have to slam dunk this citizencon. And with content like this I for one am optimistic and any fears I had have been dispelled.
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Oct 26, 2017 12:12
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Sillybones posted:I still have no idea what the game is right now on 3.0. Is anything in it? Trading? Missions? What is going on that is different? Xian
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Oct 26, 2017 12:28
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ZekeNY posted:Red alert: warlord tweetstorm in progress! Ha ha ha
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Oct 26, 2017 12:35
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SCtrumpHaters posted:Moddable multiplayer is not a Lie until Star Citizen releases in full. You can say you doubt its coming, but saying its a Lie makes you look stupid and someone with an agenda. With VR they are right this second actively adding elements of VR (trackIR) to the game in loving prealpha. You guys look insane. Your right of course nothing CIG say is a lie until such time as a release occurs and the feature is absent and provably so. However this is also nicely covered by the prealpha assertion. That’s a 5 year prealpha. Once again that’s a …5 …year…pre…alpha. Not even alpha So despite the fact you obviously don’t understand how video game are made let me ask you 3 things 1) Can you flag other games that have been this long in pre alpha ? That have been successfully released 2) From what you have seen so far of the disjointed tech demos that CIG have put forward after 5 years in the pre alpha phase are you genuinely happy and excited by what you have seen and are you having fun playing the game? 3) At what point do you decide that enough is enough and although not a scam , at some stage this project has lost its way and is now so far from what you initially pledged that you are either happy to write off you cash or will attempt a refund. If in your heart of hearts you are genuinely pleased with CIG and where they are at and this isn’t just a pathetic Derek Smart versus Chris Roberts thing then you deserve to be left alone to enjoy your experience with Star Citizen. And I’ll see you in the verse
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Oct 30, 2017 09:19
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Beet Wagon posted:Hahahaha like holy gently caress how do you even post this poo poo with a straight face Chris's Hair: Then to now. Truly an amazing journey !
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Nov 2, 2017 17:06
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