Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

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thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Space Court.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 14:41

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 16:34

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Eldragon you've got a lot of refactoring to do.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 14:43

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Time to repost all the best things from the last thread.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 14:49

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

Time to repost all the best things from the last thread.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 14:51

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

Time to repost all the best things from the last thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHNqcHiPhu4
That's him with the Marfan syndrome.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 14:54

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Mandatory Beer is OP again post:
The year is 2079. We see Beer as an old man lying on his deathbed surrounded by friends and family. He motions to his eldest son Derek to come closer. Beer produces a small silver trinket from his pocket and gives it to his son saying, "Here, I want you to have this... I won't be needing it anymore." "What's this?" Derek asks. "It's a Pilgrim Cross and a long time ago it meant a lot to me. Go 'head and open it up." Derek fumbles with the locket and a small golden key falls out. "Remember that closet I would never let you into when you were growing up? That's the key, go take a look and make sure you bring me back something to drink."
Derek goes downstairs and opens up the closet to find a small dark room covered in cobwebs. There are ancient joysticks in one corner and posters and mouse pads in the other. It looks like a time machine to the early 2000's. In the center of the room there are several large jugs filled with a mysterious liquid. Behind the jugs are some bottles with weird labels on them. Though the colors are faded and the paper is starting to rub off he can just barely read what it says, "LTI." After looking around a bit he brings a couple bottles back up to his father. "Ahh, there they are. Aged to perfection, just like me," Beer chuckles as Derek opens up a bottle and hands it to him. As the night grows long they reminisce over their lives while intermittently sipping the brew. They make it through the night together but by dawn Beer is very weak. He talks about Star Citizen and what could have been.
As the sun rises Beer looks to his boy with tears in his eyes.

They both know the time has come.

Beer holds Derek's hand.

And with his dying breath he whispers these five words,

"See you in the 'verse..."
:rip:

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 14:58

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 15:10

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr-I8XIAj8I

https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/785012649813610496

You see there are three things that spur the MoMA to post
The judgement of Goons declaring he's Toast
And with just one email, the ToS melts
The MoMA lingers, with adjustable belts

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 15:16

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 15:18

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Lladre posted:

We got a thread for GIF dumps.

Don't worry I made them all the largest and most annoying they could possibly be.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 15:21

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

You suck INRI. Tell Arf and all those other guys to come back and sperg out here so I don't have to go to FYAD to laugh at them.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2016 21:02

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

People in this thread are trying to argue with MoMA because he claims that CIG is doing a release totally rear end-backwards.

Did we forget about the past 10,000 pages after making a new thread?

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 00:50

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Do you guys think that the people making this game are incompetent?

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 00:51

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

Do you guys think that the people making this game are incompetent?

No, you see someone actually hacked into the files and used their decades of video editing skills to manufacture and release a video of Star Marine gameplay a full day before it was actually released!

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 00:53

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

MoMA don't take the toxx over some dumb turnover bullshit. Take the toxx that Derek has been wrong about everything about Star Marine for the past week.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 01:08

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Derek on a Wednesday posted:

There's no way people are playing Star Marine right now! Everything is broken and sucks and is poo poo and there's no way CIG would be even semi-competent enough to release a broken shitpile of a FPS in an engine designed to produce FPS. Mark my words there is no possible way that people are playing Star Marine right now and they won't be able to for at least two weeks! There's only one video of gameplay in the past 24 hours so clearly it's hacked footage Photoshopped together so don't worry about that.

Derek on a Thursday posted:

Well, well, well it looks like CIG just released Star Marine right now and not yesterday. As usual I predicted this in my July blog. Since it was just released as I started typing this that means that not only have I not been wrong but I've actually been right twice in rapid succession.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 01:18

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Derek was wrong about 2.6 as well as Spectrum being released to the Evocati on November 29th.

D_Smart posted:

It's already 4PM EST. I haven't heard of any "whole spectrum of good news", Toast. What'd I miss?

D_Smart posted:

I have an account in Evocati, as do 7 of my contacts. Nobody has received an invite. Not a word on Reddit or RSI forum. So I'm thinking this is a False Flag op that MoMa is running and trying to ride the wave due to some anon poster who may just be posting bullshit.

MoMA was right.

Man of Many Aliases posted:

There's actually a whole spectrum of good news for tonight.

Confirmation:
https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/5flh6t/260_and_spectrum_closed_testing_update/?st=iwcsdvgk&sh=264e1a76

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 01:57

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

I'll make more effortposts like this about things Derek was wrong about after dinner.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 01:58

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

D_Smart posted:

I would hate to have you as attorney because your definition of "right" has more holes than my favorite sock.

Fact (pay attention): MoMa only talked about Evocati build rolling out. Since nobody (not even MoMa who doesn't even have access) had received the invite at the time, I pointed out that it could be a FF op.

Fact (pay attention): You were wrong.

D_Smart posted:

The debate - at the time - had NOTHING to do with SM being in it or not.

Correct! The debate was about whether or not 2.6 would be pushed out to the Evocati. You were wrong (not right) in said debate.

D_Smart posted:

Aside from the fact that the CIG schedule already had a date, and the build was expected - despite being moved twice.

So MoMa saying that Evocati builds were going out - and they did - has NO bearing on ANYTHING.

It has bearing on whether or not you were right (not wrong) or in fact wrong (not right).

D_Smart posted:

The entire discussion is about whether or not SM was in that 11-30 release. It wasn't.

Woah dude slow down you'll have to wait for my December blog for this!

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 02:11

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

D_Smart posted:

The entire discussion is about whether or not SM was in that 11-30 release. It wasn't.

Either you're wrong or you agree with what MoMA said. Let's take a look.

If you don't believe that the files for SM were released on the 30th then you're wrong. If you believe that Star Marine was "in the files" but not playable then you agree with MoMA.

Man of Many Aliases posted:

The patch notes are tailored to different people involved in the evocati. There are minuscule changes in the text, copy and content designed to lead to those who leak the notes. Same goes for evocati test builds.

I was not incorrect in claiming that 2.6 was going live to Evocati.
Also, StarMarine is technically in the build:

"Data/Levels/FPSModule/FPS_Demien/level.pak",
"Data/Levels/FPSModule/FPS_Echo11/level.pak",
"Data/Levels/FPSModule/FPS_Loadout/level.pak",
"Data/Levels/FPSModule/FPS_Loadout/terraintexture.pak",

However, the actualy FPS StarMarine is not ready for testing in this first evocati build. It'll come though.

MoMA clearly states that he is under the belief that there "different" Evocati. He also believes that Star Marine is in the build but not able to be tested (at that time) by everyone.

D_Smart posted:

I don't think he knew SM wasn't going to be in it

D_Smart posted:

Yeah, he was on my Discord trolling us earlier today. Clearly he's not in Evocati, and had no clue that SM wasn't in it.

D_Smart posted:

That's because i) it's shite ii) there is no Star Marine - like at all

For a $137 million project that likes to tout "openness", it's interesting that since 2.6 was released to Evocati yesterday, backers have no clue what's in it. Particularly it doesn't contain Star Marine; and CIG never even mentioned it.

Meanwhile, some backers are spreading false rumors that it is released.....just because they claim to have seen some file assets in the download.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 02:32

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

By the way Agent actually backs up a lot of what MoMA has said. I'm too lazy to go through the effort of quoting all his posts because there are too many and it's not as easy with multiple threads now.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 02:39

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

D_Smart posted:

So whether I'm right or wrong, is patently immaterial.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 02:43

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

We haven't even gotten to the loving .GIF hahahaha.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 02:46

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

MedicineHut posted:

Lol at MoMA/Toast suggesting CIG is managing multiple Evocati test builds when they can't still even make a decent incremental patcher. Just loving lol. Hope the rest of his info is not based on the same poo poo source.

It's bizarre to me that this is where so many of you guys draw the line to the realm of impossibility.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 23:34

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

It's bizarre to me that this is where so many of you guys draw the line to the realm of impossibility.

One of the top people doing tickle fetish porn under a pseudonym over a decade ago? Obviously.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 23:35

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

One of the top people doing tickle fetish porn under a pseudonym over a decade ago? Obviously.

Multiple groups of testers for a game in pre-alpha? Hold the loving phone.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 23:35

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

starkebn posted:

yeah, I can't see any reason to have multiple builds

This is the most credible proof as to why they would have multiple builds.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 01:51

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Ugh this is boring why is nothing funny happening yet?

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 21:49

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

Ugh this is boring why is nothing funny happening yet?

Someone post how many people are using Derek's forum he made after he vowed to never return here again. Maybe that will be funny.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 21:50

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

AP posted:

CIG is trying hard to keep a lid on things for the December sale, I bet dirty leaver poo poo is going to go crazy in January.

Lame.

When is the most realistic date for me to be playing Star Marine if I'm not an Operating Evocati XVIII Supreme Being?

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 22:17

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

In an exciting turn the thread decides to sperg out about homosex instead of trannies. Stay tuned for more.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 23:27

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Holy gently caress.

Marching Powder come back we need you.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 23:56

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

I'm gay.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 23:59

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

I'm gay.

Discuss.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 23:59

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

MC68000 posted:

That's the Twich.tv client app "Game Theatre" for Apple TV.

Every time it loads up an ad before a stream it occasionally mocks Half Life 3 or Star Citizen.

Ignoring this new hilarity to say the same pizza jokes we've already made three separate times in the past thread.

Make Marching Powder IK.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 07:07

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

I requested a refund.

That was dumb of you.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 04:52

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

That was dumb of you.

Wait, I meant smart.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 04:53

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

I.N.R.I posted:

Personally if I was going to hate something online for 8 years it would be something like the technology industry's reliance on child slave labour for coltan farming in the DRC or the many and storied transgressions of any one of countless Jewish political and financial institutions instead of a computer game. Anyway, I'd like to use this post to remind everyone to call or visit their parents where possible. maintaining strong family bonds is something that we can use to reaffirm our perspectives regarding what's really important to us all in our short lives

I'm not reading all this.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 05:20

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

I'm not reading all this.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 05:20

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 16:34

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

I.N.R.I posted:

I'm not sure what gave you that idea

I'm not sure why you hate Jews so much but hating Jews is very uncool. Please don't do that. Thank you for your time.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 07:30

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

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