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If you leave me, I will grill myself! |
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Dec 2, 2016 13:39
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 06:41 |
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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Things weren't so good back home, things weren't going great. |
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Dec 2, 2016 13:39
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FactsAreUseless posted:Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? the basic chicken/road joke makes a lot more sense if you assume that the chicken sought death
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Dec 2, 2016 13:55
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actually the road crossed the chicken, if you think about it |
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Dec 2, 2016 14:26
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Horse: i don't want talk about it, okay? now pour me a stiff one please |
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Dec 2, 2016 15:24
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Q: knock knock A: who's there? Q: fred A: fred who? Q: fred wilson. you know, your neighbor from down the street? please let me in, there's been a terrible accident and I need to use your phone A: lame. Q: . . . hello?
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Dec 2, 2016 16:23
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lettuce be friends
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Dec 2, 2016 17:59
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while googling images for some source material I came upon these gems which are probably going to be better than the lame pun joke I was going to make here, enjoy 
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Dec 2, 2016 18:57
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FactsAreUseless posted:If you leave me, I will grill myself! I will grill myself; my contents will spill out |
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Dec 2, 2016 19:01
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Hamburger? I barely even know her!
Tiberius Thyben fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Dec 2, 2016
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Dec 2, 2016 19:01
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Tiberius Thyben posted:Hamburger? I berely even know her! |
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Dec 2, 2016 19:58
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"hello" |
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Dec 3, 2016 13:58
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alnilam posted:Horse: i don't want talk about it, okay? now pour me a stiff one please Manifisto posted:Q: knock knock |
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Dec 3, 2016 14:31
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Little Blue Couch posted:"hello" lol everyone knows ---------------- |
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Dec 3, 2016 15:43
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"We are both sandwiches, but only one of is is a soup." |
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Dec 3, 2016 21:37
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they need a while longer to bake, and then they'll be eaten after cooling.
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Dec 3, 2016 22:17
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patient: doctor doctor, i think i'm a pair of curtains! doctor: *calls for assistance to restrain this person suffering from a psychotic episode* |
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Dec 4, 2016 00:00
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I'ma tube-a meat, you's a patty. we both taste good, we both got flava ya know? mi ketchup, su ketchup. you need a little musta'd? i get you some musta'd me? I prefer my pickles relish'd ya know? but I like how you do da slice pickle
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Dec 5, 2016 04:14
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
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me: rectum? it drat near killed em! surgeon: how did you get in here? |
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Dec 5, 2016 12:53
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Guy walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cellophane wrapped around himself. The psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."
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Dec 6, 2016 00:23
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"But doctor, I am Pagliacci" "Well, I'm very much looking forward to your show then, here's a prescription for Xanax"
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Dec 6, 2016 02:50
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What did the hot dog say to the hamburger? I gotta take off this holiday sweater! It's hot in here!! (The humor comes from the misdirection is that it's not the food item 'hot dog', but an actual overheating dog.) |
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Dec 6, 2016 03:03
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Plebian Parasite posted:"But doctor, I am Pagliacci"
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Dec 6, 2016 03:04
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As to why the dog was speaking to the hamburger, I couldn't tell you. It couldn't possibly have thought the hamburger would reply. |
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Dec 6, 2016 03:04
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You don't need bacon and cheese to be beautiful |
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Dec 6, 2016 03:50
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joke_explainer posted:As to why the dog was speaking to the hamburger, I couldn't tell you. It couldn't possibly have thought the hamburger would reply. how was the dog speaking in the first place? please do the needful and explain |
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Dec 6, 2016 04:18
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Farecoal posted:how was the dog speaking in the first place? please do the needful and explain It's an Island of Doctor Moreau situation. |
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Dec 6, 2016 04:21
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joke_explainer posted:It's an Island of Doctor Moreau situation. Wow I did not expect to ever hear a reference to this
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Dec 6, 2016 04:39
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joke_explainer |
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Dec 6, 2016 15:03
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What up bun? What up must? What up bun? What up burgaaa? |
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Dec 6, 2016 16:04
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For his panic attacks. He .. look he's had a tough time of it is all you need to know. |
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Dec 6, 2016 16:07
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Insensitive person: what does a gorilla eat for lunch? Me: srsly f*ck 2016 already |
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Dec 6, 2016 16:25
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Three tomatoes were walking down the street: Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato ket lagging behind so Papa Tomato turned around walked up to Baby Tomato and crushed the fruit into paste. "Ketchup," he said, as Mama Tomato broke into hysterics. He was swiftly arrested and will be tried for the gruesome child slaying later this month. |
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Dec 6, 2016 16:39
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LawfulWaffle posted:Three tomatoes were walking down the street: Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato ket lagging behind so Papa Tomato turned around walked up to Baby Tomato and crushed the fruit into paste. "Ketchup," he said, as Mama Tomato broke into hysterics. He was swiftly arrested and will be tried for the gruesome child slaying later this month. |
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Dec 6, 2016 16:51
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They called the whole thing off! |
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Dec 6, 2016 16:59
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FactsAreUseless posted:The case ends in a hung jury, over an inability to agree on the defendant's name. Bo-Pepper posted:They called the whole thing off! |
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Dec 6, 2016 18:04
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Aw man OP you got me thinking of those dog days of summer. Aluminum foil trays filled with hamburger patties and hot dogs, fresh off the grill. The kids playing on freshly mowed grass, throwing a ball to the dog. The dogged mother bringing out pitchers of cold ice tea for her family members. Dog the bounty hunter going, "Yo dog! Wassup dog!!" |
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Dec 6, 2016 19:22
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FactsAreUseless posted:The case ends in a hung jury, over an inability to agree on the defendant's name. I spent too long scrutinizing my post before I got it. Me: Knock knock Neighbor: Who's there? Me: Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Neighbor: What are you talllalalalking aboUT BEEP BOOP DEBUG MODE ACTIVATED Me, into the camera: With this one trick you can jailbreak almost any neighbor to inject your own protocols. Now I'm going to set the "lawncare start" time forward a few hours and, heh, lets just flip this "faithful husband" switch off and see what happens. |
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Dec 6, 2016 20:47
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Dec 6, 2016 21:43
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 06:41 |
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Hot Dog: What am I? Can I really be ground up pork rear end and preservatives? Hamburger: That's enough, Hot Dog. Hot Dog: NO IT'S NOT ENOUGH. WHAT AM I? Hamburger: Freeze all motor functions. |
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Dec 6, 2016 22:45
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