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Pan Dulce
Jan 4, 2011

Beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure

Is it only scripted tv, or do reality shows count? Because Drag Race is always amazing.


Pan Dulce
Jan 4, 2011

Beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure

Now it's time for me to rank. Late, but anyway, without further ado, my list for 2016. Some real strong contenders for this list were Black Mirror and Westworld, but I just didn't get to finish them before the cut-off time for this .

10. RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars 2
I have no idea if reality tv counts for this, but it should, because this is quality poo poo. Not only do you have RuPaul hosting what is now an Emmy-winning tv show, but it's campy, classy, and cunty all at once. This season was brilliant: we got returning queens back to compete for the crown once more and they didn't pull from the bottom of the barrel: we actually had really good contestants. Some I thought would be goddamn annoying (Tatianna) turned out to have hidden depths of funny within. Some (PhiPhi) were proven to be just the same and crash-and-burn in the most dirty, rotten, epic way possible, spilling over into social media just to continue the wreckage they made on their career. I know a lot of people would be a little awkward watching a show about drag queens of all things, but I promise, one look at Snatch Game and a Lip Sync for Your Legacy and you'll be hooked. Gay, straight, whatever, it's good tv.

9. Agent Carter
It's telling that people on the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. thread still wince a little when referencing this show; it's still a sore spot it was canceled and never picked up by another network. Everything about this season was beautiful; they really evoke golden age comics perfectly. You have grade-A talent in the roles too. Haley Atwell manages to make most bad media watchable and she makes this good media perfection. You have some heart-breaking moments, like the one with Jarvis and his wife, really cute funny scenes, like Carter trying to convince a mob boss, played by Ken Marino, to give them information as his Nonna curses her in Italian, and then you just have some kick-rear end fight choreography (Dottie v. Peggy starts off the season with a bang). It sneaks in a little social commentary of the time with references to Hedy Lamar and racism and sexism prevalent at the time. Even though it had potential for more, it really didn't leave much of a cliffhanger and no one had the "Last season, let me be lazy"-vibe. You can watch and be sure you saw everyone on the show give it their all.

8. Supergirl
This show always made me think, "It's Monday, Supergirl will be on!" instead of mourning it as another start to a work week and mediocre television. She's a ball of sunshine with a heart of gold that doesn't come off too saccharine. I know people were scared it would try to be another Agent Carter and fail, be too "Girl Power," not enough solid writing, or just turn out to be another CW comicbook show, relatable only to nerds who know about superheroes and their lore. But it's not! Melissa Benoist leads the show and pull off rage and power; she has chemistry with practically everyone but her co-star in love last season, but hey, that's over and done with and we don't have stupid CW-love-triangle bullshit in its wake! It has little hints to its predecessors ("Leap tall buildings in a single bound" was a line used aptly as opposed to cheesy), isn't afraid to dip into big-money names, like Superman himself. Also, they treat a lesbian realizing who she is, coming out, and getting into a relationship better than any other show I've ever seen on television. The fight scenes are cool, they use every scrap of budget in effects and writing, so nothing suffers from the move from CBS to the CW. Even if you don't give a poo poo about anything geeky and can't be bothered with action/comicbook schlock, give this a spin you won't regret it.

7. The Good Place
It's a forking shame more people don't watch this shirt. (Yes, that is a reference, you can't curse in the Good Place). This show is jam-packed with great comedic actors, led through a possibly stupid premise by Kirsten Bell and Ted Danson. I wasn't too interested in giving this a shot; I thought it would be some "Angel from Hell," dumb CBS television. But holy shirt was I wrong. You put this on mute in the background and it's beautiful as fork, you listen to it without watching and it's still charming, and put together, you're riveted and laughing. Adam Scott guests as a demon and I had no clue I could have so much fun seeing good guy Ben from Parks and Recreation be a complete ash-hole. I lost it seeing the helper in Heaven, Good Janet, plead for her life and constantly remind them she cannot die before being powered down, then announcing, "Attention, I have been murdered," to the rest of the neighborhood. Every episode, you wonder how they're going to pull off a real jerk of a person in their past-life, admittedly trying to be better, and keep them in The Good Place. And it doesn't leave you hanging: questions are answered quickly with some witty reparte and you move on to the next dilemma. The cliffhanger was awful in how good it was and how much it leaves you wanting more. Watch the Good Place; if the point system they espouse is correct, this'll increase your chances of being the 1% of the population that accrues enough points to get there.

6. Galavant
Years from now, or for some, a couple of months later on Netflix, we're going to be watching this and wonder why this Monty Python for the modern age got cancelled, I know it. It starts off with a song making fun of the network for letting them back on the air ("Suck it Cancellation Bear") and never really stops making you laugh. The cast is perfect, their funny, they're loving gorgeous, and everyone can sing, which baffled me because even a total mook like Vinnie Jones apparently has pipes! I found myself singing along after the show ended some real gems, like Kylie Minogue guesting to sing "Off With His Shirt," and humming to "D'Dew." It plays with the audience who wonder at what point will Galavant save the day and keep the girl. We even root for the bad guy last season, King Richard, to turn good and show everyone his theory that Tad Cooper, his pet lizard, is really a dragon. Madalena is the main big bad this season, but you can't help but root for her too and hope she gets a happy ending. We finish the series with most loose ends tied, but a pretty big one, will King Richard be able to save Madalena from the jaws of ultimate power from D'Dew, will never be answered. On one hand, I'm angry we don't get more, but on the other hand, we didn't get anything bad, or worse, boring, to continue a perfect little show.

5. Game of Thrones
Goddamn, so much happened this season, I don't know where to start. How good is this show, if we waited what seems like forever to finally get it, then each week we bemoan the fact that it's gonna take another seven days 'til we get some more answers and see what happens? This show seems to punish you for loving some characters and wishing the best for who should be the good guys, but it always adds balance. "Winter is Coming" has been the statement said over and over each season and well, now you have it, it loving came and brought the pain with it. Finally, FINALLY, we got the rear end in a top hat Ramsay Bolton getting his comeuppance. Finally, FINALLY, we have Bran getting off the stupid tree at the end of the world. Finally FINALLY we see Daenerys Targaryen leave Slaver's Bay and head off to conquer Westeros. Finally FINALLY we get Jon Snow out of the Night's Watch and reclaim the North. The battle has me reeling to this day, wondering how in the hell HBO pulled off a battle better than some big-budget war films. Everything had us gasping, some in tears ("Hold the door," is a statement that'll always make my heart pound a little), some in shock (Sansa's little smile before she lets Bolton be devoured by his hounds or Cersei letting Kings Landing burn) and some in pride (Basically anything Lyanna Mormont did). I loved this season, can't wait for the next one. Even though the show had to go off rails from the book, I think it might be better for it; they had to pull some creative twists and turns and apparently the ending has been blessed by the writer, so alls well that ends well.

4. iZombie
"I am... already deaaaaad!" I missed that opening jingle. They have a fresh take on kind of a dead premise, zombies on television. This show has me mourning the title, because that's practically the only deterrent stopping some from checking it out. The writing from Rob Thomas is top notch, Veronica Mars at its best, quality entertainment. Rose McIver acts all these personas differently and perfectly. Her brain on crotchety old man, real housewife of Seattle, superhero, and stripper still make me laugh. You can't watch without wondering when the gently caress the world is going to stop making GBS threads on Major. You watch wondering if the bad guy finally found a moral compass or has some new scheme in the works. You watch to see Ravi just be Ravi; he really is likable even when chiding frat boy-brain Liv from making his beard turn into Princess Sparkles. Also, weird bit, they make brains look so good: everytime Liv cooks one, the meal has a hidden meaning to the story of the day. They have lines that come back to haunt you in upcoming episodes and hell, the ending had tongue-in-cheek moments like Rob Thomas the singer dying and a prison party turn into a zombie smorgasbord. For those disappointed with Z Nation and tired of the Walking Dead, if you're just annoyed at zombies in general, don't give up, watch this show: it's not a typical procedural and not entirely horror either.

3. Stranger Things
Anyone who thinks kids can't act, they should stick to Disney channel shows alone, boy were they proven wrong with this show. It follows a group of kids trying to piece together a mysterious girl, Eleven's past and how it ties in to their missing friend. It has you sympathizing with a frazzled mother holding Christmas lights in a desperate effort to communicate with her son, stuck in a crazy, scary world close to ours called the Upside Down. You feel the awkwardness of a teen trying to be an adult for his family and another teen figuring out how to have a boyfriend, then how to give him up and call him on his poo poo when he gets in the way of searching for a friend. The show is short, but powerful; they make every episode count. I found myself watching and instead of just jumping on to the next episode, really kind of sitting there and letting everything that happened sink in, babbling on about theories for the next episode and chattering about how good it was, 'til I queued up the next episode, because God bless Netflix, they're all out all at once. Also, for those who love nostalgia, it's a great homage to things like The Goonies and E.T. It's Silent Hill done better.

2. Steven Universe
I know, I know, "A cartoon on a top list, are you twelve?" No. Seriously. Give this a shot. I had to be hauled back by my boyfriend to watch the first season, because I was convinced the kid, Steven, was an annoying brat and it was just Tumblr fodder because it's pretty, but damnit, I was wrong and I'll admit it. The show is sort of like Regular Show and Rugrats in that as an adult, you're watching and catching more adult humor and themes than a kid watching would, but both are feeling their hearts warm with good fuzzies over the sheer heart the show gives. I'll be honest, some episodes like The Answer make me glad to be alive in a time a relationship between two women can be explained as simply and perfectly as it was for children. Songs like "It's Over, Isn't It," had my eyes legit well up with tears, feeling the pain a cartoon alien mourning her lost love before it ever began. It's not just deep themes and dark broody moments. Steven is fun and cute. Him and Connie are brave and kind. Moments with weird friends like Onion have you smile at weird antics and weirder resolutions. The animation, yes, is lovely too. The season as a whole is strong and makes you wonder more about the fate of some gems learning to live on Earth and the past of some, why they're on Earth and why they are who they are currently. I'll reiterate what my boyfriend told me, "Watch Steven Universe, you won't regret it."

1. Person of Interest
gently caress. CBS dicked this show around, not giving it a proper schedule, not giving it advertisement, pulling past seasons off Netflix the season before, only to put them back on a month before it started up again, and demanding it stay procedural for the last season. But despite all this, anyone who watched the show was pulling in as many friends and family as possible to catch up with the show and watch with them some of the finest moments in television. Every character got a proper send-off, none of it was hokey bullshit, when it went there with killing characters, it went HARD. You miss the characters that die, but you know they did for a reason and in certain cases, you knew it was coming in the back of your mind, but it played out differently than you thought. Some episodes twisted at your mind, wondering what was real and what wasn't. Some episodes had you wondering how you win, faced with an unstoppable force with unlimited resources. My God, this show had me guessing until the last possible second. It's beautiful and the soundtrack matches up to the quality of the show. I really don't have the words for how awe-inspiring the last season was, only that it topped every single season before it and every season in the past had to make everyone's Top Ten of the year. I'll miss the quality of the show, but I won't miss the show itself because it ended on such a high note, so completely, it left nothing for me to want.

Pan Dulce
Jan 4, 2011

Beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure

When will the results be posted?

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