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Black Mage Knight posted:So far all I know about the plot is that the guy who made this really liked Persona 4. You have no idea how derivative this loving game is. None.
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Dec 4, 2016 12:09
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So I'd like to point out that I originally intended to make this thread, but the game was just so lovely that I gave up and Blarghalt offered to take the reins. I'll probably throw in a bonus scene for the maid cafe we turned down, because it's so loving stupid that it's unreal. One thing you may not have noticed yet but will become increasingly obvious as the game progress is that the main character does not actually say anything. Anything the protagonist says is paraphrased by internal monologue and implied by character reactions. This persists throughout the entire game. The main character does not have a single loving spoken word in the entire game. This is somehow only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the incompetence of the game's writing.
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Dec 4, 2016 16:52
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So as the individual responsible for putting Blarghalt up to this, I'd like to share some history about this game. The dev, being hasty in all decisions, released this game roughly a year ago with just the first chapter, and then released more content over time. For some reason, there used to be two listings of this game on Steam at different price points, despite being completely identical. Now, make no mistake, the writing in this game is completely atrocious - we see this through typos, mangled grammar, awful word choice, and schizophrenic presentation. The rub? It used to be even worse. If you don't believe me, I still have some old screenshots lying around from a much earlier version:   You can pretty easily tell which parts of the very beginning this is, and the prose is completely unnatural and extraordinarily awkward. I've tried reading some of these lines out loud, and it's really difficult to do it without raising an eyebrow and thinking "Who the gently caress speaks like this?"  In older drafts, mystery furry was a bit more forthcoming with what your "power" is. I don't know if this got changed because the dev thought it was revealing too much too early, or if he just realized what a gigantic loving lie it was. It will forever remain a mystery.  Older versions also beat the "the dev is a gigantic anime nerd" drum far harder. Also to note is that the backgrounds used to be google image search plus a blur filter. Now I believe they're public domain stock photos.  Another nightmarish thing about the earlier versions was that every single loving sentence a character said was in quotation marks. Because apparently the speech box itself was not enough indication of speech. I wonder if the dev had to spend a bunch of time manually deleting them all.  This was also the save menu. Apparently this is what our non-talking protagonist looks like!
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Dec 4, 2016 21:49
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Waffleman_ posted:If that achievement bar is what I think it is, barely over half of people who got this game made it even this far. Even by basic visual novel standards, this game is very incompetently made. We're already well aware that there are fixed save points (which have varying distances from decision points, so if you want to backtrack a decision, be ready to click through a bunch of crap again!) but also lacks basic VN features like text speed, being able to scroll back in the dialogue, and being able to skip stuff you've seen before. The writing itself is atrocious at best, but the technical incompetence really makes you suffer.
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Dec 4, 2016 22:09
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FractalSandwich posted:Considering the quality of their art, the best option might have been to use Inform 7. Honestly, the art in and of itself isn't terrible (since most of these characters belong to other people, you can't really blame the artist for the horrendous designs), but somehow it's just not FUNCTIONAL for a visual novel. As another poster pointed out, each character has only two poses, one of which gets used once and is then forgotten. The thing is, most visual novels make the character art relatively simple, so poses and facial expressions can be modified and redrawn fairly easily. The developer ended up commissioning art that's actually too detailed, and now the result is that every god drat line of dialogue is spoken with the same loving face. The worst part is that since this had an episodic release and sold fairly well, the dev did have revenue which could have been spent for more visuals. Either the dev chose not to do this, or it never even crossed his mind.
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Dec 4, 2016 23:53
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So many things about the writing in this game kill me: Frequent incorrect use of punctuation, characters repeating poo poo back to each other for no reason, capitalizing "maid cafe" for no apparent reason. However, the subtle one that really kills me isquote:
Assassins are characterized by being sneaky and quiet. Somebody who blurts stuff out would be the exact opposite of a "social assassin". It takes some serious talent to not just pick the exact wrong choice of words, but fail to notice it during the editing process. e: No_talent posted:How was that woman-wolf-being helpless? I guess when them uppity women folk venture out alone they immediately need assistance. She wanted nothing to do with Rabies. Seems to me like she's got her poo poo together more than anyone else we've met so far. I'm willing to bet the intended word was "hapless".
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Dec 6, 2016 00:50
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Enter Rook, the social assassin. Blurting out the things we don't dare to. 
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Blarghalt has already pointed out that the texting feature is a blatant lie. As far as I know, you can get one other character's phone number, and then the entire thing is forgotten. To note, remember how I pointed out that the first chapter has gone through the editing process? That means the dev actually went back and reviewed the game's script and never realized that the texting thing went nowhere and needed to be removed. Just left this totally vestigial non-feature after the editing process. I took a headcount in the game files, and there's only 29 characters. I guess that's not missing the listed feature by much, but I will say that when I was going to estimate it in my head, I was expecting something more like 12. That's how unnecessary and unmemorable most of the characters are. Also, there's at least one character that I can say with 100% certainty the narrator never actually interacts with; that number might actually be as high as four or five. As for "many choices leading to different experiences", I double checked against a walkthrough and there's a grand total of 23 choices in the entire game. I can't say for sure how much they alter the plot because without text skipping this game is ten times as painful to sit through, but given how lazy and incompetent this game has been so far, I'm going to guess the answer is "not at all". Oh, and the in-depth affection system? We've gotten +1 affection from Rook for texting him that our train would be on time, and -1 affection from Kila for not being into Maid Cafe's (tm). Depth!
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Dec 6, 2016 16:17
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 So this little text box? It was drastically different in earlier versions, and boy oh boy do I remember it well:  Also, there used to be this line after Jade says "don't bang your head on the way out":  Also, I'm just going to spoil right now that we are not going to see Inumi for another three or four chapters. There was literally no reason for him to be introduced at this point. Well, there was no real reason for him to be introduced at all, but since he had to be wedged into the game due to Kickstarter benefits, it was pointless for him to be dropped into the story this early.
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Dec 6, 2016 23:26
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Gloomy Rube posted:basically yes. Jade is also the only female character to be based off someone's fursona Actually, that's another female character we will meet in the future. Jade is indeed an original creation for this game, and I don't think it's a coincidence that she has the least offensive design out of everyone we've met so far.
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Dec 7, 2016 04:04
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Can you really fault the artist for phoning it in on this thing
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Dec 7, 2016 18:13
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Waffleman_ posted:1. It probably doesn't make much sense for a Japanese arcade to be named Arcadia because they don't CALL them arcades, the common loan term used is "game center." This scene bothered me a lot because I'm a big figniting game nerd and the writer obviously did zero research on arcades. First off, "Arcadia" is indeed a real thing in Japan. It's in fact a periodical about arcades, i.e. which games make the most money, what's coming up, etc. It would be like naming a specialty video game shop here IGN. Second, youre right in that arcades in Japan are doing just fine. AFAIK they're a shrinking industry but weird idol simulators are keeping them afloat. Either way, this is a pretty recent development and Japanese arcades were booming in the mid to late 90s, when they were dying in North America like the story references. My third point is pretty pedantic but there is no arcade game called "Street Fighter 2 Turbo". That's the name given to the console port of Street Fighter 2 Hyper Fighting.
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Dec 7, 2016 22:12
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Oh right, that's another thing: fixing broken arcade controls isn't even difficult. Hobbyists replace stuff in their home arcade sticks all the time. poo poo, I've replaced the parts in my own stick many times, and I can't even build IKEA furniture without it coming out crooked. Does this place even make money?
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Dec 7, 2016 22:31
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Data Graham posted:This is actually a big issue I have with writing fiction. I can't fathom how someone can write convincingly about some subject matter like submarine warfare or medieval battles or superlawyer intrigue when they clearly have not experienced any of those things first-hand. Research can only get you so far, right? Yet I don't think I could write a convincing story about being a cubicle nerd even though that's all I've done to a degree that I'd think you'd need in order to be confident writing about a thing. Good writers can write about things they haven't experienced because they understand that most people operate on the same set of basic emotions that manifest in most situations. Research and technical mastery are also big pieces of the puzzle, but if you don't have a good grasp on basic emotions, then you're not going to be an engaging writer. Bad writers cargo cult it by aping TV tropes.
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Dec 8, 2016 03:45
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Okay, since the maid cafe choice was one of two major divergent paths in the entire game, I feel like it's necessary to show this scene. Not because this needs to be a completionist LP, but because this scene is so god drat dumb, it has to be seen to be believed.  I've looked at pictures before. Seen things online. But like with anything else – pictures don't suffice. Well, what do you think? It's stunning! I almost don't believe it. It's prettier than I could've ever imagined. So, where's this Maid Cafe? I've been dreaming about this for years. Don't worry, it's not much farther. And I guess I can open up to you now. No need for secrets between the three of us. We're going to 'Cafe Chat'. It's a popular joint around here. Run by a bubbly girl named Eclair. Are you serious, Jade? That's the one I heard about online. It's supposed to have a wait time of months! Yes, but remember who you are. Exceptions can be made here and there. Especially for the prestigious "lucky two". Trust me -- I don't stop at the basics. I was able to get you a session with Eclair. That's right, the number one maid in Tokyo. You've gotta be kidding me! Whoa, calm down. I think I felt the Earth shake a little. I'm certainly not kidding. You know my humor is top-notch. You'd be able to tell if I was joking. Hey -- that's actually a good one, Jade. Even if it wasn't intentional. By all means -- lead the way. I'm trying so hard not to freak out!At this point, I'd just like to point out how many god drat em-dashes are in this script. For some reasons, the dev just loves abusing the hell out of that piece of punctuation, even though it's visually clunky and really should only be used when a sentence has an excess of commas. But we're just going to have to suffer with a script that uses them interchangeably with commas on a regular basis. Not so fast, Kila. I have to go. Rook will be taking it from here, alright? He knows this area a little better than me. I have business to attend to elsewhere. I need to get Inumi back safely as well. Sorry I can't join you. Maybe next time. No apology necessary! Jade retreats back into the limo and slowly drives away. She was certainly a treat. A nice middle ground. Not as spazzy as Kila and not as insensitive as Rook. I liked her. Hopefully I'd get to see her again.The most personality that the dev could give to Jade was “not as unpleasant as these other two chucklefucks”. Also, in what world are “spazzy” and “insensitive” the poles of any axis?   I do have to give him credit, though. He's still able to lead us exactly where we need to go. I could never walk and use a tablet at the same time. It takes ability to multitask so efficiently. So, what is Eclair like...? I don't know. I've never been. Well, you seem to know exactly where it is. You sure you're not hiding anything, Rook? I said I've never been. It's called GPS, Kila. Think I'm chatting on here or something?Honestly, if I were in Rook's position, yeah I'd be texting all my friends nonstop about this creepy idiot rear end in a top hat who's dragging me to an establishment that caters emotionally broken men who can't muster the guts to hire a prostitute. Oh, sorry... And when we get there, I'm not going in. I'll wait around outside until you're done. I'll watch paint dry. It'll be more fun. I wouldn't be caught dead in that place. Either way - I hope you enjoy. It does take a certain level of immaturity.I wish I could like Rook more for being so openly critical of Kila for being into this sort of thing. But I can't. Hey -- that's rude! Don't talk to me about rude, Kila. Especially after deciding where to go. You didn't even think to ask for my input!Well yeah, because neither of the characters in question had even met Rook yet. Whatever. Before the conversation can continue, Rook stops. He points to a colorful shop just a few steps away. It's over there. Go and have fun. Just don't drag me into your business. And don't take forever, alright? We have to get back to the hotel tonight. I'll be waiting for you two over there. He points to an installation of benches nearby. He really seemed to have a grudge against this place. Oh -- and do me one favor, please. Don't mention my name to Eclair. I'll owe you big time if you do this. Wait a second. Eclair knows you? I'm leaving now.! Goodbye. Before a moment passes, Rook is gone. Almost as if he vanished into the shadows. With nothing else to do, we walk towards the building. And after a pause -- we enter the legendary Cafe Chat.I'd just like to drop a footnote here between scenes about how much of a pain in the rear end it is to actually make these updates. You know how there's a writing exercise to simply transcribe one of your favorite passages in a book, to get a physical feel of what it's like to write that well? Well, I refuse to transcribe the text of this game for the inverse reason. As a result, I have to pry the script of this game out of javascript files, and holy moly it sucks. It's like this game is flipping me off even when I'm doing my damnedest to make a farce out of it.   oh good god what is that thing Oh, hey. We're here to see Eclair. He's nervously staring at the floor. Almost like he's scared to face the Maid Cafe. Well -- he did say this was one of his dreams. I'm sure he's just a little overwhelmed.A guy who patronizes maid cafes is scared to talk to women? Color me grey and neon blue, because I'm shocked.  Oh -- It's you two! I've been waiting for you! It's me, I'm Eclair! Oh right, so I was loving around with modding the art assets and kind of succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I always forget that GIMP's color to alpha works really poorly if the background is pure white or pure black, but gently caress it, this game doesn't deserve the effort I've already put into it. I thought Kila knew all about this place? How did he not immediately recognize Eclair? Quick -- come take a seat. No need to delay this any further! You two must be really special. Not many people can just "walk in" here. Are you celebrities of some sort?So uh, remember how not too long ago, in the limo, Rook was teaching Kila and the narrator Japanese?It's established that language barriers are a thing in this alternate furry world. How is it that Eclair, the #1 hostess in Tokyo speaks god drat perfect English (or Portuguese or Hakka or Farsi or whatever god drat language they're ostensibly speaking)? Probably better if we don't tell her. I don't want to break that NDA again. She leads us over to a three person booth. One side has one chair -- and the other has two. She takes a seat on the side with one chair. This leaves Kila and myself able to sit together. She glances at us piercingly. Like she's trying to figure out what to do with us.A glance is a brief, unfocused look, whereas for something to be piercing it needs to be focused. It really bothers me that the dev tries to cram in fancy words like “portend” when simple words like these two are being fumbled so badly. Quiz time! Kila's eyes beam with happiness. Like all of his dreams are coming true at once.Ah yes, paying a woman to be nice to you and ask your trivia, the dream of any man. Let's think of something fun... Oh -- I have a good question. Why are there only three chairs here? I look at Kila in confusion. How were we supposed to know this?You didn't expect this psuedo-CYOA to allow you to even attempt to answer quiz questions, did you? Time's up! Now -- you learn! The number four is considered bad luck! Like the number thirteen in the west. It's usually skipped when it can be. But the explanation lies in Japanese. The number four can be pronounced "shi". It's like the same as saying "death"!Actually, this is true in like eight different languages, but given the tone of this game so far, I'm fairly confident that there will be no acknowledging any culture other than Glorious Nippon. She smiles and giggles at us. After saying "death". You have to admire her enthusiasm at almost everything.Come on, narrator. You can't seriously be spooked by just the word “death”. Well, there's also another reason! From above, the booths look like cat paws! That's why we call ourselves Cafe Chat! That's French for cat! Look at you two -- learning. That's definitely a better explanation. I hope she uses that one in the future.Yo, hold up.  Please explain to me how to arrange a table and three chairs to even remotely resemble that. I was worried that talking about death would scare Kila. But I look at him -- and he displays pure jubilation.Since we were discussing writing technique earlier in the thread, it's pertinent to bring up “show don't tell”. Most of you are probably familiar with the idea, but this is a prime example. The writing just tells us that Kila is jubilant instead describing any behavior that actually expresses happiness. This gets especially bad when you're interacted with more than two people in your entire life and realize that different people express happiness differently. If you've felt that the writing in this game is wooden but couldn't put your finger on why, it's because the writing adheres to “tell don't show” like it's god drat constitutional law. From start to end, the writing is going to repeatedly force-feed the audience emotions without ever actually displaying any from the characters, and god drat you are going to grow to hate it. Wow -- you're so smart! What else can you tell us?Kila's bar for smart is 1. knowing two words in foreign languages (except one shouldn't actually be a foreign language), and 2. knowing a local superstition. Come on, raise your standards just a tiny bit. Let's move on to another question! I have so many tricks up my sleeve. Sweet -- I'm ready! Let's do something a little easier. Do you have any idea why I'm named Eclair? Oh, that's easy! You're really sweet! Just like the pastry you're named after. Wrong!! It's because I'm really quick! Before I can even notice, plates appear on the table. Like some sort of magic trick -- she really is fast!Now this would have been a smart place to put in a piece of artwork to demonstrate Eclair's magic trick. But gently caress using your revenue to reinvest in your product, right? Quick like lightning! The true meaning of the word "Eclair"! It's also French -- if you were wondering. She winks and then points to the plates before her. They're layered with Onigiri -- or rice balls.Why does this script insist on capitalizing Random Japanese Stuff? Alright -- time for a real challenge. I've been holding back this question! Final round, commence...!Can somebody explain to me what a ellipse followed by an exclamation point is supposed to sound like? One indicates a voice trailing off, and the other indicates a voice ending in excitement. They're mutually exclusive. Why would anyone put them together? (Don't answer that; we all already know the answer). Rook refused to come in, didn't he?OH poo poo THE DRAMA I should note that if we skip the maid cafe, we never meet Eclair at all and this plot line is never touched on. Also, if we do visit the maid cafe, we are locked out of the true ending. Ace game design there, Major\Minor. What...? Guess he said not to mention him, right? Typical Rook -- as stubborn as ever. I know who you two are. Jade told me. So, you two -do- know each other! He didn't even tell you that much...? He seemed to hate the idea of Maid Cafes. He was just so suspicious! Well, that wasn't always the case. In fact -- we used to be partners. Though such a time has long since passed.Let's all stop, take a deep breath, and reflect on just how lovely that last sentence was and how nobody in real life would ever say it out loud. a Whoa, that's heavy. What happened? Why did you two fall out like that...? This one deserves to be posted as a screenshot just to show how disgusting it is.  Also, Eclair gets a new pose. That's right, the only character in the game with a third pose is completely optional. Also, jesus she looks like a melting mutant peep. A tear drips down her cheek. Even the call from Jade was so sudden. It totally threw off my groove! I tried to remain calm when I saw you two. But I was fighting back tears all along! I guess this all just got the better of me. Please -- excuse me! I have to go...! She runs away without another word, covering her face. I'm really clueless.! Was coming here a bad idea...? It seemed we just made her relive traumatic memories. If that's the case -- I feel horrible right now. Should we leave...? I really don't know what to do. This isn't what I expected at all! The game very obviously wants you to follow her and in fact I think you gain nothing from dodging her. I tell Kila that I'll go talk to her. He should go outside and tell Rook I'll be right there. It seems like nothing today has gone as expected. But I can't just leave her alone like that -- crying. Alright. I guess that's for the best. Shouldn't leave either side hanging. I'll see you outside when you're done. Kila runs outside, and I quickly look around. When I look where Eclair went -- I see a big door. It has a cartoon painting of a cat's paw print on it. I'm going to bet that this is her office. I decide to walk over to it, and I slowly enter. Just hoping that I can fix what happened here today.There's another scene to this and whoa buddy does the stupid ever escalate, but Blarghalt stopped his update before the parallel scene in the arcade and writing this update caused me physical pain so I'll leave it for another time.
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Dec 8, 2016 06:51
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So, in tonight's edition of "Previous Major\Minor Drafts": The old version made it clear that Jade has an advanced degree, but somehow has been reduced to being a limo driver who sleeps in the back of a dirty arcade. Which, now that I say it out loud, is probably closer to reality than the dev realized. New version makes it sound like Jade got her award from Infowars.
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Dec 9, 2016 02:52
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Waffleman_ posted:I SEE KLACE ALSO LIKES ZERO ESCAPE. One of the reasons why I wanted to see this game LPed here is so I could get a full breadth of the nerd media that was blatantly ripped off. I already know of five really popular games and TV shows that were copied wholesale, Persona 4 being the really obvious one off the bat.
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Dec 9, 2016 04:07
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PoptartsNinja posted:I spent more time (20 minutes) on this dumb joke than I should've. The condom is an amazing/disgusting (circle one) touch
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Dec 9, 2016 22:07
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anilEhilated posted:e: Oh, here's one: does the game offer any explanation for its name? Or that backslash? It's not a title that'd evoke furry utopia to me... Or anything else, really. I'm glad you asked! The answer, naturally, is "no". There is no title drop anywhere in the game, nor do the words become important to the script at any point. The game could have been titled "Engineer Quiche Portugal" and it would have been equally as relevant.
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Dec 10, 2016 18:18
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So it's time to add two and two together, right?   Oh, so Eclair is giving a blowjob to a desk.  Actually, I'd say that “maid” is merely a job that shouldn't consume a person's entire identity, therefore a maid should experience a full range of emotions and to assume otherwise is pretty dehumanizing and the fact that there's an entire industry predicated on this “Maid” idea speaks volumes about society in general. But I digress. Has that ever happened to you before...? Everything is going perfect -- then bam! Something reminds you of past events. I nod. Who didn't get unpleasant flashbacks...? Not everybody can be happy all the time like that. It's just -- we were so close. And then he left me, so suddenly. Almost at the snap of a finger... You know, I'm used to that. People walk out of here all the time. But I never expected it from my partner. Rook and I were the star duo of Akihabara. He was the number one male host in Tokyo.It just now strikes me that there's some kind of fame or power ranking for the best hosts and maids in Furry Japan. Because surely that's the kind of thing Japanese people care about. Rook was a host...? That sounds so out of character. If he told me -- I would never have believed it.Except that he does and we do. We'd spend every day together. People would call us a celebrity couple. Our reservations would be full for months. We weren't really a couple though. We just had to play the part. I know it was for the audience, but...Okay, I know we Americans have unhealthy obsessions with frivolous celebrity couples but I think we still set the “celebrity” bar higher than “fetish waitress who's maybe famous”. Sometimes when you act something out? It can start to feel a little real. I must sound so delusional right now. What pressure? Actors play as romantic couples all the drat time and this doesn't happen. Good lord, Eclair is competing with Kila as the biggest sadsack in the game. We acted like a perfect couple all the time. It was easy to lose yourself in a fantasy. Especially one where you're so happy.Technically because this is character dialogue, you can get away with the grammar mistake of flipping between first and second person reference. But it still reads really unnaturally.  “Rook sharted in front of a guest, and then everything went downhill.” Accident...? I can't really say. It's his issue. But he started to act distant, and rude. Needless to say -- our business suffered. He found more joy in that tablet of his. Customers complained on a daily basis. And soon enough, they stopped coming at all. One day Rook just didn't show up to work. I was worried he hurt himself -- or worse. He's very good at making himself scarce. I'd search for him day in and day out. But one day -- I just had no desire to. Like a lightswitch just flipped in my head.See, this is what a depressive episode is like.   Uh, not that though. Can't say I ever experienced anything like that in my life. Is there a price for the memories we hold? And after it's paid -- we just forget? Well if there is, that price can be costly.This is apparently what passes for “deep emotional thought” in this game. Christ, the amount of navel gazing to come is horrible. This whole ordeal almost ruined Cafe Chat. Debts amassed as I tried to fix things. New ad campaigns, new hosts, I tried it all.Did you try being on a Gordon Ramsey TV show? ; But soon enough -- I had to face the facts. There was no way I was going to stay afloat. So I had to make the call. I shut our doors. But just before I locked them for good? I noticed an envelope in front of the Cafe. It had my name on it -- with a heart. It was a cheque from Rook... It had all the money I needed -- and more. I'd be able to keep Cafe Chat running. It came with a letter from Rook himself. It apologized for running away from me. But he told me he saved up for years. He'd been working alongside a "Jade". They were supporting a pop idols career. Who was Jade, I thought? The new me...? You know, that's why I'm so conflicted... I was jealous -- but we were never together. I hated him for abandoning me. Yet I thanked him for saving me. All of these emotions came back today... It started with a call from Jade. You know -- to organize your visit. I knew instantly which "Jade" it was. I saw Rook outside with the both of you. But I could tell he didn't want to come in. That made everything come flooding back. I hope you understand what I mean. I'm sorry for botching your visit today. I owe you the real Maid Cafe experience. I wish I knew what Rook was thinking. I assumed he just forgot about me. But then -- today happened. Sending the both of you to my Cafe? Even today -- he still thinks of me. There are so many Cafe's in Tokyo. But why would that be? He moved on... I guess that's something I'll never know. I doubt he'll ever set foot in here again.I'd like to mention that while I was copying and pasting that from the JSON file, I actually had to check the screenshots I took to make sure I pasted things in the right order, because that monologue is just so drat disjointed. And seriously, she's broken up over a fake ex from several years ago? Girl needs to book a therapist. She takes out her phone and places it on the table. Would you mind exchanging numbers...? I owe you and Kila a real session. I apologize profusely for today.; We spend the next few moments exchanging information. I don't object. Kila would want to come back, too. Oh goody, a phone number that will never get used. I'll ask you to leave me be for now. But trust me -- I'll be in touch. I owe the both of you, big time. I stand up and go to leave. That was heavy -- as Kila would say. But before I can exit, she stops me for a moment. Sorry, I couldn't resist. I nod. The side with two chairs? It used to be for me and Rook. But when he left -- I was alone. I had to switch sides. No longer would we entertain together. Just thought you should know the truth.Let's be clear here: People used to pay Rook and Eclair to be their third wheel.  I guess I'm not as quick as they say... Here I am -- totally stuck in the past. On memories from so many years ago. But I have to push forward -- and work hard. Until the toll of those memories is paid. On that day, I'll stand tall on my own.Jesus, does that ever read like a poorly translated monologue from the final episode of a garbage anime.  So to recap: Rook and Eclair were in a fake relationship for their job, one of Rook's buddies died, Rook ghosted, Eclair is still an emotional mess years later. You all already know this, but this will not have any effect on anything, there will be no love triangle between Rook, Eclair, and Jade, and I'm not playing any further into the game to see Eclair's scene later in the game because gently caress this I have much better things to do with my time.
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Dec 10, 2016 20:56
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Waffleman_ posted:It felt like they were trying to get Rook's character development (hahahahaha) out of the way as quickly as possible. Remember that we've met, what, six characters so far? There's still 80% of the cast to be met.
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Dec 10, 2016 22:59
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Crazy Ferret posted:We've been stuck in this weeaboo hell for some long, I've completely forgotten about some plot on other planet. Furry trump, assassin's guild (because of course there is), and some kind of mayor's race to become god king? This are things that happened right? Also, I know you could just hand wave it away by saying that the planets are tied together cause of the "plot" but it really bothers me that we have "Earth" as one planet and "Terra" as another. There is lazy and there is whatever the hell this is. Some talking animal fiction is amazing, like Watership Down. Some talking animal fiction is extremely derivative and kind of racist, like Redwall. Some talking animal fiction mostly resembles a markov chain generated from Redwall fanfiction. Major\Minor ranks a few steps below that last one.
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Dec 11, 2016 05:10
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The thing about writing is that the premise of a work has very little to do with its quality. The Metamorphosis is "dude with a lovely job turns into a bug". Notes From the Underground is "extremely neurotic man won't shut the gently caress up". The Old Man and The Sea... well, exactly what it says it is. Codex Alexa is literally "Lost Roman Legion" and "Pokemon". Even if Rabies' world-bending power were something subversive, like getting people to open up about their life stories (it's not), the dev would find a way to gently caress it all up and then gently caress up those gently caress ups because he somehow finds new and exciting ways to make writing mistakes. If the game weren't so drat long and painful to sit through, I'd use it as a prime example of everything not to do in writing.
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Dec 11, 2016 15:20
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I would poo poo a god drat brick if this script had any editors (or any kind of feedback process, really) other than the dev himself
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Dec 11, 2016 23:30
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I never read the Twisted thread, but I do remember Heroes Rise, the thread that lead to it. I still can't believe that game just devolved into a superhero sex fantasy and that the Choice of Games folks actually chose to publish it.
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Dec 15, 2016 00:09
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CommissarMega posted:As I recall, it was one of the first few paid full CYOAs on Choice of Games, and so remains in the same way you'd tolerate a racist grandfather or something. I don't know exactly when Heroes Arise was made, but I do know that Choice of Dragons and Choice of Broadsides were their first two games, made in-house, and both of those were in a completely different league of quality. The fact that not only was it accepted and published, but promoted as paid content boggles the mind.
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Dec 15, 2016 03:50
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quote:
Today in "Major/Minor obviously loving up simple words", the script says "variant" when it very clearly means "variable". Come on, this is something a person who passed eighth grade math should be able to figure out.
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Dec 16, 2016 00:45
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But there's no pattern with you. He's never sought help from another world. I guess you're an unknown variant.
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Anoia posted:Which characters are original designs and which are paid for inserts? Because I somehow get the impression candy colored belt assassin dog is the latter. As far as I know, every male character we've seen so far was a paid insert. In fact, I believe every single male character in the game is a paid insert, with one exception. Conversely, just about all the female characters are original to this game, with two exceptions (one of which is a genderswap of a male character anyway).
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Dec 16, 2016 03:01
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Now that you mention it, I'm not sure it was explicitly mentioned, but you can't blame us for assuming that an individual wanting to patronize a maid cafe is male
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Dec 17, 2016 05:03
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To note, the awfulness of Singe's character design is largely covered up by the game's text boxes. Have an uncovered gander!
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Dec 19, 2016 01:21
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By the way, the copycat killer never comes up again. It's a completely extraneous detail that does nothing but muddle up the story.Waffleman_ posted:Oh, that reminds me. Add Pokemon Mystery Dungeon to the pile. Wait, what part of Pokemon loving Mystery Dungeon does this game rip off?
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Dec 19, 2016 04:50
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I want to say that Bojack Horseman is the most pointless character in the game, but he's not. The only other character he interacts with is Velasquez, and he never actually voices an opinion. He exists solely for Velasquez to jabber nonsense at him. there is a character in this game more pointless than this
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Dec 21, 2016 10:42
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Seyser Koze posted:Is Dazz the genderswapped male design? Yep. I poked around to see what the original Dazz looked like, and frankly it's pretty much the same except no giant pair of hooters e: modding this game is more amusing than it has any right to be 
inthesto fucked around with this message at 14:00 on Dec 21, 2016 |
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Dec 21, 2016 13:48
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Mywhatacleanturtle posted:Every single character speaks with the same literary voice and it's driving me NUTS. Let's not go nuts here. It's not as if the sole voice in this game sounds like any real person in any capacity.
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Dec 23, 2016 21:42
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Seyser Koze posted:I'm going to guess the real reason is that he bought RPG Maker to work on this before ever learning of Ren'py, and the sunk-cost fallacy kept him from ever seriously considering changing things. RPGMaker has a GUI and Ren'Py doesn't. I'd put my money on that being the deciding factor.
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Dec 24, 2016 21:58
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I believe Black Closet was still made in Ren'Py. However, much like Long Live The Queen, the game is designed to be difficult and you're almost certainly not going to win on your first try without outside help. Once you've managed to deduce most of the mechanics that don't get explained to you, though, it's a super fun game. I do have some small beefs with it, like RNG being able to completely screw you over in the beginning and the final boss requiring some real specific preparation, but overall it's a pretty dang great game.
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Dec 25, 2016 03:39
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In what reality does two art assets and a text box count as a proof of concept
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Dec 25, 2016 07:01
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Merry Christmas, y'all Yes, the trailer is just three minutes of a title screen
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Dec 25, 2016 19:43
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Ikasuhito posted:On the world of Alestia furdom is ruled by the ( I guess) tyrannical group known as the Triumvirate, who use there ability to talk with the spirits of the dead to help them rule. Valessa (the main character) is apparently a seer from some small village who can also talk to spirits to learn the future. But now cant for some reason. This will somehow result in here joining with a rebellion trying to overthrow the Triumvirate. Considering this is the most generic and cliched JRPG plot possible, it becomes increasingly obvious that the dev only consumes Japanese garbage media and rarely reads anything natively written in English, leading to the horrible backwards prose that we have to choke on in this game. Going off topic (which is always an improvement in this thread), why is it that so many people who translate Japanese insist on making it unreadable in English? A buddy supplied me with a side by side comparison of a fan and official translation of some light novel, and the difference is pretty drat stark:  Now, I'm not going to say that the official translation on the right meets any high literary standard, but at least it looks like native English. The one on the left is so needlessly wordy and has phrases that you just don't hear in English. I mean, who the hell says "It can't be helped"? If you told me Klace wrote the one on the left, I'd actually believe you. Moral of the story, if you're going to write in English, then read books that were written in English.
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Dec 25, 2016 22:11
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Winds of Change now has a tech demo What tech you say?  even to the creator himself
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Dec 27, 2016 00:22
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blankd posted:On a separate topic, are there any specific resources anyone would recommend to someone who is making their own VN/small-scale ~narrative focused~ games? The general go-to for making visual novels is Ren'Py which is... a library built in Python? I don't know dick about programming outside of my very niche wheelhouse, so idk if that's the proper terminology, but I think you understand what I'm saying. Since Ren'Py is free, just about every garbage visual novel you see dumped onto steam is made with it, and the games are comically easy to pirate. However, if you know Python, you can actually do some pretty impressive things with it, as famous games like Long Live The Queen, Hate: An Analogue Story, and Black Closet are all made in Ren'Py. The downside to it is that it has no GUI (I'm kind of surprised nobody has made a frontend for it), so you better get used to scripting things in a text editor. I guarantee this reason alone is why it was not used for Major/Minor. Tyranobuilder is VN software available for 15 USD on Steam and has a GUI which makes it much more friendly towards people who don't want to deal with coding or scripting. The obvious downside is that you have to pay for it, and additionally the default UI looks really loving amateur, even compared to Ren'Py defaults. If you don't care about the visual part and simply wish to write interactive fiction, there's also the option of ChoiceScript. If you remember the (in)famous LPs of Choice of Kung Fu and Heroes Rise, this is the scripting language those games used. The choice games generally have some pretty darn good writing in them, and their blog has some really good guidelines on how to write interactive fiction. Unfortunately, most visual novels don't take any pointers from them. Also, buy and play Sabers of Infinity. You won't regret it. Finally, there's a Visual Novel Maker (yes that's its name) coming out Soon(tm) on Steam. It was supposed to be released this month, but the publisher (degica, makers of RPGMaker, for the curious) had to push the release date back. The materials they've released so far are fairly attractive, so I have plans to look into it when it's released.
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Dec 27, 2016 01:09
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