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*takes you on a date where i force you to stand through all these boring grown-man game activities like pool, bowling and shooting and says "smh" when i let you try a round and you miss* |
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Dec 22, 2016 22:00
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:06 |
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*gives you a coin to put something on the jukebox* *makes a barely audible groan when you make your selection*
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Dec 22, 2016 22:07
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*gives you a set of my sweaty old football pads to wear then slaps you on the rear end as we run onto the field, informing you that you will be the center and hiking the ball to me, warns you that ol' moose might hit you pretty hard so keep your head up*
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Dec 22, 2016 22:22
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*brings you to gym, it's your first time on the bench press. I give you 5-10 lbs too many, you almost drop the weight on your chest and I have to save you. I'm passive aggressive to you for the rest of the time* |
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Dec 22, 2016 23:04
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*we meet up at the wwe main event and im disappointed in your "Goldberg Rules" sign and i point out he hasnt wrestled in forever. am embarassed when he makes his triumphant return and is wwe champion. i refuse to share my cinnabon after* |
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Dec 23, 2016 00:27
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you...you thought skee ball was a ballgame played by skiers? *chokes back laugh* no no, it's cool, it's ok. hey, let's try this other game instead. have you ever heard of horse collar?
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Dec 23, 2016 00:56
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lmbo calrissian posted:*takes you on a date where i force you to stand through all these boring grown-man game activities like pool, bowling and shooting and says "smh" when i let you try a round and you miss* shooting is fun. take your date to shoot a gun
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Dec 23, 2016 00:57
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"have you ever seen the x-men films? they are very important to me" *makes date watch all 8 in a row including Origins: Wolverine*
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Dec 23, 2016 00:59
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*Takes you to the movies to see xxx: the return of xander cage, talks about how good vin's muscles are and what kind of workout routine he must do the whole time* |
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Dec 23, 2016 05:30
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*begins to sense date going badly* Yea, sorry, Costco doesn't put out very many free samples on the weekdays.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:34
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*"It's odd for a woman to not have gotten into sex and the city. now i'm not gay, but the creative innovation of storytelling, narrator-subject relationship and attitude of free raunch stands as a monument to modern television. there wouldn't be a desperate housewife in the world without the NY fab four*" |
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Dec 23, 2016 08:19
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Plebian Parasite posted:*begins to sense date going badly* Yea, sorry, Costco doesn't put out very many free samples on the weekdays. Who the hell goes on a date to Costco and doesn't spring for a hotdog? Just one though, so you can both start at each end and kiss in the middle. |
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Dec 23, 2016 10:47
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*buys one movie ticket and gives it to you, instructs you to go inside and let me in through the emergency exit*
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Dec 23, 2016 15:54
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*invites you to a Nickelback show* *gets on stage, revealing self to secretly be Chad Kroeger* |
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Dec 23, 2016 16:22
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"heh, this is a little thing me and the boys like to do sometimes but you're cool so let's do it together" *takes you on a romantic vacation, plane you board is at a military air base for some reason.* "Hey slip into this sexy" *you are handed a large backpack with many restraining straps, and fatigues* "haha drat babe you look good in digital woodland camo" *engine starts noisily, you are strapped into your seat, men around you look somber* (shouting)"WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BAND MINE IS METALLICA" *plane takes off, ride is very bumpy and long, small talk is impossible as decibel levels are near deafening. A large red light flicks on and everyone stands up and gets in line. Soon the light turns green, and you are shoved out of the plane amidst anti aircraft fire and explosive blasts. The plane you were in explodes moments after you jump*
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Dec 23, 2016 18:56
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FactsAreUseless posted:*invites you to a Nickelback show* You remind me of what I really am. I'm Chad Kroeger |
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Dec 23, 2016 19:26
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Luvcow posted:*buys one movie ticket and gives it to you, instructs you to go inside and let me in through the emergency exit* dad??? ---------------- |
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Dec 23, 2016 21:20
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*Takes you out to expensive restaurant and leaves you with the bill.* *Calls the next day to ask if you can bring me my leftovers.* ---------------- |
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Dec 24, 2016 21:03
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You've been invited to Netflix and chill at my place only to find a bank of VCRs and taped episodes of Xena.
---------------- |
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Dec 24, 2016 21:06
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vanisher posted:"heh, this is a little thing me and the boys like to do sometimes but you're cool so let's do it together" *takes you on a romantic vacation, plane you board is at a military air base for some reason.* "Hey slip into this sexy" *you are handed a large backpack with many restraining straps, and fatigues* "haha drat babe you look good in digital woodland camo" *engine starts noisily, you are strapped into your seat, men around you look somber* (shouting)"WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BAND MINE IS METALLICA" *plane takes off, ride is very bumpy and long, small talk is impossible as decibel levels are near deafening. A large red light flicks on and everyone stands up and gets in line. Soon the light turns green, and you are shoved out of the plane amidst anti aircraft fire and explosive blasts. The plane you were in explodes moments after you jump* gaslighted again by the milt./ind. complexxx |
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Dec 24, 2016 21:46
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my jowl jiggles in fury when i take you to Medieval Times and you don't even call me "milord"
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Dec 24, 2016 23:20
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I take you to a cyber cafe so we can have our date in world of warcraft but then make a disgusted face when I see your armor
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Dec 24, 2016 23:56
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a date to mcdonald's but you can only order items off the dollar menu that i have a coupon for |
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Dec 25, 2016 02:02
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I take you to a haunted house to show you how brave I am, but really, I already knew that Carl was going to jump out of the shadows with a clown mask and medieval flail and chase us out of the house.
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Dec 25, 2016 02:18
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lmbo calrissian posted:You remind me of what I really am. I'm Chad Kroeger condolences I take you on a date to your favorite restaurant but I proceed to order for you, when you give me a goodnight hug I stand there expectantly until you walk inside and close the door TOOT BOOT fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Dec 25, 2016 |
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Dec 25, 2016 04:42
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goes to the bathroom ffs god
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Dec 25, 2016 09:52
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i take you to a professional vape competition and yell things like 'sick!' and 'drat son!' a bunch and then afterwards i make you watch as i try to recreate all the moves in the lobby. we ride home silently after i throw up |
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Dec 25, 2016 10:37
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me at the Taco Bell: wow this has been a great night me again: haha ya I knew things were going well when the cinnamon twists got here and she left me again: haha ya anyways thanks mom have a good night *hangs up* |
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Dec 25, 2016 11:41
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I make up a favorite band and album, and when you half-heartedly nod and say "yeah, I like that one too," I stand up and yell that neither of those things exist you're a big fake and a liar everyone in the applebee's stares look what you did |
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Dec 25, 2016 16:58
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me in luxurious restaurant : oh, this has been a wonderful night... may I.. may I ask for a second date? *i shift around to the other seat* oh most certainly !
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Dec 25, 2016 17:15
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oh my god, look... that group just left the table, and there's still a full basket of Cheddar Bay Biscuits! your purse... dump them in your purse, you fool!
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Dec 26, 2016 01:24
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as someone well versed in nihon culture thanks to countless hours of anime, I can assure you you eat all the edamame and--what are you doing, put those chopsticks down--sushi is eaten with your fingers and slurp your soup as loudly as possible, it's a compliment don't embarrass me |
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Dec 26, 2016 12:24
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weird that my dad is the op and made this thread somehow knowing i was on this site, and also how he calls our father-son time "dates" |
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Dec 27, 2016 15:15
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB6ESvoBwxI |
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Dec 27, 2016 19:05
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me: yeah, as someone who hasn't seen Pokemon 200, I guess I could see how you think that's a good movie |
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Dec 27, 2016 19:10
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Ok I already created your character, yeah thats your stats right there. I tried to be as true to life as possible. Ha... no a 8 charisma is just average, its not a scale of 1-10 its 3-18... wait! where are you going?
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Dec 27, 2016 21:15
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Luvcow posted:Ok I already created your character, yeah thats your stats right there. I tried to be as true to life as possible. Ha... no a 8 charisma is just average, its not a scale of 1-10 its 3-18... wait! where are you going? |
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Dec 28, 2016 01:51
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*takes you over to my friends place we always go to and everyone gets too high and I pass over the threshold of being able to parse sensory input and apply it to how I move the muscles of my body. Kind of like if you were to pull half the RAM out of a computer while it was working on loading all of your programs and I wonder if I could attach some extra memory to myself somehow like a cyborg. I wonder what my cyborg name would be maybe Desiderata or Jorgulon. Man, if I push this little crumb over the table that cat there would come over and I could make use of my hands and then... *looks up across the square apartment dining table to see you are taking shots with Scott, that rear end in a top hat who is always here and doesn't smoke because of some event involving a car chase he "doesn't really remember but don't you EVER run from the cops because he's been there and made all the bad decisions for you," then dives into his discourse about jail and everyone listens reverently. An hour later we file out of the apartment like students leaving an 8am lecture and in the car I say "Scott's a trip huh?" |
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Dec 28, 2016 02:32
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Timeshares |
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Dec 28, 2016 14:56
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:06 |
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*Tells you to look extra nice* *tries to feed you some of his spaghetti and meatballs and drop the loving meatball on you god dammit* |
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Dec 29, 2016 03:54
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