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To be honest, the more I think about it I really don't have a problem with Dave continuing this thread in AI because although it's not really related to cars much anymore, we're the only group in SA that really knows him and cares about him. As long as he's not asking for anything I don't see a problem. He needs some outlet to joke and let off some steam now and then why not here?
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May 12, 2017 04:23
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Applebees Appetizer posted:To be honest, the more I think about it I really don't have a problem with Dave continuing this thread in AI because although it's not really related to cars much anymore, we're the only group in SA that really knows him and cares about him. As long as he's not asking for anything I don't see a problem. He needs some outlet to joke and let off some steam now and then why not here? Yep let him be. If he wants help and can follow some loose guidelines just so we aren't enabling if he decides he wants our help again cool. Other than that let him talk and post and live. It is his life.
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May 12, 2017 04:25
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Like there wouldn't be a million goons relaying stories from his Facebook feed to here anyway and getting messages and questions back. Seriously, there's no point to a ban, it'll just waste time and cause spam unless ai decides on one person for the back and forth (this will not happen)
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May 12, 2017 04:32
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Free the Dick
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May 12, 2017 05:14
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I don't wanna speak for a mod here but this is my interpretation: The function of the mod challenge was motivation, not punitive. It's to encourage Dick to do what he needs to do: make a plan and follow through on it. Mr. 14" raised some funding through the sale of a (ludicrously expensive) tool box, cool, good. More funding and a detachment from complications should come with the sale of the Honda. But the actual plan needs to happen: getting the F out of Seattle, going someplace more healthy, moving forward with life. Planning and training for survival being homeless really isn't the goal here. Being homeless sucks. Having no address at which you can receive mail is a huge impediment to recovering a life. Having no physical security and no place to store personal belongings and no way to maintain personal hygiene... all severely detrimental to being a functional human. The Trukk awaits. The bug should be driveable. I mean forget about curbside repairs at this point, just fukkin take it to a mechanic and pay cash for make car go. Pay fines, get license in order. Put tools in trunk, buy provisions, go. The plan does not need to be complicated, it just needs to exist and be followed.
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May 12, 2017 07:41
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I think Dave is sufficiently motivated to get his poo poo on track. Banning him isn't going to help at this point. 14 FREE DICK
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May 12, 2017 07:46
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Lol no he's not. Doing "trial runs" of not having a home Read: Meth bender is not the action of a man with the heart or the gumption to get back on track. The alleged 2500 is more than enough to secure stable housing. There are resources available in a large west coast city that aren't available elsewhere that he has not taken advantage of. Nebraska will not have many programs to help. Employment, while not found on trees is decidedly more difficult without a fixed address and is generally not procured while doing trial runs of homelessness. Talking about becoming a 'traveler' is clear signaling the man is resigned to, perhaps even embracing his likely fate. Doing nothing is always easier. Faced with imminent crises our protagonist has decided the correct course of action is to set the cruise control and put his feet on the dash.
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May 12, 2017 09:18
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Roki B posted:The alleged 2500 is more than enough to secure stable housing. I don't know about you, but every rental I've had, the landlord wanted good proof that I could pay for the place. Even if I was offering to pay several months up front (on one, I tried to offer 6 months up front - had $10k in my bank account, but was working part time and was a full time student - denied), they wanted either a drat good cosigner or proof of a stable source of income (in the form of bank statements, pay stubs, and in two cases, talking to HR). A lot of places I've lived at won't even accept rental history from someone that's not a property management company; i.e. that bedroom I rented for a couple of years from a friend was basically treated as a "oh gently caress no" when I tried to go to an apartment. Claiming self employment? Most places here want at least 2 years of tax returns to prove your income. You MIGHT be able to find an individual willing to rent you a room without that, but it's difficult. Low income places often have a huge waitlist (going back months, sometimes years) and still want proof of income, getting approved for federal housing assistance (section 8) usually takes years. The exception would probably be extended stay hotels, but those usually cost at least as much as an apartment (most extended stays here run $1000+/month, any cheaper and you're in tweaker central, junkie central, prostitute central... probably all at once), and they're week to week or month to month leases at best. randomidiot fucked around with this message at 09:41 on May 12, 2017 |
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May 12, 2017 09:30
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He's not trying, he doesn't care. He'll show all you goons that homeless meth life is just fine. There is no "story" anymore, just sad rantings of someone who has taken support from a lot of places and pissed it away. Nobody thought there was any problem with the mod challenge when it was issued, because it's a reasonable challenge. Now that you see he doesn't care, you're worried about missing... what... the pitiful squandering of potential to self-pity and addiction? If want to see a homeless meth head ramble, just go to your nearest off ramp, we don't need one to point and laugh at here. I'd say "get help, Dave," but it'd do no good. What a stupid sword to fall on... But you'll show us.
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May 12, 2017 09:58
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EVERYWHERE 
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Leperflesh posted:I don't wanna speak for a mod here but this is my interpretation: Read this Dave
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May 12, 2017 10:34
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Automotive Insanity > The Wreck of the 14 Inch Dick Goddammit, Dave.  Edit: I'm not saying the ship's gone down but the bilges look like swimming pools and nobody's manning the pump. Beach Bum fucked around with this message at 10:42 on May 12, 2017 |
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May 12, 2017 10:35
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DICK DICER posted:I've repeatedly turned down offers of assistance from here in multiple forms, the only thing you'd be doing essentially is sweeping away the issue, because its still there in the background but now at least you dont have to feel guilty for drinking your starbucks in your car, heater going and tunes blasting and doing anything you can to avoid making eye contact with the guy standing drenched in the rain on the corner right next to you If he avoids eye contact because of feeling guilty in that scenario, then he's a better person than I.
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May 12, 2017 10:38
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So whats your plan for your cat because its an innocent in all this and shouldn't be left out on the street because you are going "traveling"?
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May 12, 2017 10:44
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Former homeless meth head checking in, very likely missing at least as many teeth, possibly more. Maybe I'm just looking in the mirror and seeing myself from ages ago, but I feel like he's very aware of what's going on, where he's at, and what it's going to take to get out of his current situation. Only he knows what it's going to take to get out, but I don't think throwing him out of the forums will help. At all. I'm not advocating sending him money for anything (not that he'd take it; he's repeatedly pointed out how many times he's refused help from everyone), but like it or not, we're at least a small part of his support system. Even if said support system is just reading him venting here. Dave, if you somehow find yourself in TX, you have a futon in my living room to crash on, so long as I see an effort to find work (also my cat will probably hate Rosie, and vice versa, but that can be dealt with somehow). And of course no drugs stronger than  .e: vvv randomidiot fucked around with this message at 10:56 on May 12, 2017 |
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May 12, 2017 10:46
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Stop pushing, you'll only get push back. He's sold his tools and listed the honda. For fucks sake, let him joke and work something out without armchair specialists chiming in like they're an expert on how to fix lives. Some of you want him to go somewhere just for goon project lols and no more than that. That is not a life plan or good in the longterm at all. Not directed at the above post guy who I vaguely know of but can't remember old name of
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May 12, 2017 10:55
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some texas redneck  Nice to see you back.
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May 12, 2017 10:56
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To try to bring some levity back to the thread:DICK DICER posted:Cat food was definitely not me. I heard I do have a twin out here though who goes by the name of Gremlin. That's just you from the future after you buy an AMC and it finally pushes you over the edge. Somehow you'll get zapped by lightning and flung back in time, with only your hobo survival skills and automotive trivia knowledge intact.
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May 12, 2017 11:03
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Fo3 posted:Stop pushing, you'll only get push back. He's sold his tools and listed the honda. For fucks sake, let him joke and work something out without armchair specialists chiming in like they're an expert on how to fix lives. Some of you want him to go somewhere just for goon project lols and no more than that. That is not a life plan or good in the longterm at all. This pretty much, there's a point in fixing your fuckups where you're taking the steps and armchair specialists decide you're not doing enough. You don't know what's going to happen next, you miss the way things were but you're taking a few big steps and trying to figure out what the gently caress to do next and some loving goon chiming in and saying "that's not enough" just doesn't help. There's a difference between constructive criticism and whingeing because she's not showing enough skin. Dave, this bit's for you so listen. You've done the right thing selling the car and the tool box, even though I know you regret it. Take the money, take the cat and pick a direction. Doesn't matter which so long as it's away from the poo poo doing you harm, and that includes meth mate. If doing it for yourself isn't enough then do it for rosie, or your dad, or to spite some fuckwit who thinks you can't, whatever works. A plan will help, even if it's as simple as pay for the beetle to be fixed, load up the cat and drive somewhere, Nebraska? Texas?(that was really good by the way STR) go visit mum and dad? doesn't matter just pick something. The next step comes after that, as do all the little steps in between but focus on the big ones for now the rest will figure itself out one way or another. This poo poo is hard to do and easy to gently caress up but it's important and you've made a start even if a few people think that's not enough. That's more than a lot of people will ever do or have to do, and if you want to post escapist fantasies or say goodbye to what was or just have one last look around then good, that poo poo's another step taken, just try and make sure it's in the right direction mate. Good luck with the phone too.
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May 12, 2017 11:48
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bend posted:Dave, this bit's for you so listen. How is this any different than what's been posted scores of times over the past three years? He's been given the advice, he's been given the support, but he refuses to do anything but to dig deeper. Roki B posted:Doing "trial runs" of not having a home Read: Meth bender is not the action of a man with the heart or the gumption to get back on track. This. He's not going to "fix himself," he's bent on self-pity. Good advice falls on deaf ears in that case.
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May 12, 2017 11:54
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Banning Dave doesn't solve anything. Life is often ugly. His comment about some being unwilling or unable to look is poignant. I know this can't be a snuff thread but I don't think that's the direction. I hope that's not the direction. I DO think that cutting off this line of communication does not help him, and is actually spitefulness.
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May 12, 2017 12:47
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Yu-Gi-Ho! posted:some texas redneck Ohhh, that's who you are! These name changes really screwed up who is who in my mind.
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May 12, 2017 12:52
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It's easy to fall into the trap of forgetting that the people we love are humans and not paragons of whatever virtue we've assigned them, and then give up on them when they prove to be fallible. We've all got a mental image of Dave as some sort of unkillable badass who bounces back from anything short of nuclear Holocaust, and when he takes a breather for a minute instead of ceaselessly proceeding down the path of self repair, that rankles. I get it. However, rebuilding a life is Hard. It's harder than anything most of you have ever done or ever will do, and generally the sort of person who can keep marching along without stumbling or needing a break are the sort of people who never get their lives blown apart from internal stimuli. Cut the guy a break. He's being honest with us when directly asked how long he's been clean when it would be very very easy to lie and say he hasn't touched meth in months. There's a reason the goal addiction programs use in the day to day isn't "stay clean forever" (though that is the overall goal), it's "stay clean today". He's trying, he's keeping the lines of communication open, and he's being honest. He's making progress, even if it's not optimally fast. He'll get there. I have faith in the dick.
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May 12, 2017 14:53
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Adiabatic posted:I think we're both pretty emotionally charged with wanting to help Dave, and reacting according to that. We've just come to a point in here where the thread in the automotive subforum of a comedy forum has become less about cars or comedy and more about us watching a dude destroy his life slowly. That obviously cannot keep happening here. We have continued to let it happen because AI is a very close-knit community and we care about one another. I love that about AI, so we're going to help him insomuch as we will either get him back on track or quit looking in on the drama. Sitting here giving him an audience to revel in his misery is not helping. Everyone please read this again. I gave him a month to have himself make a plan to "get back on track", whatever that means to him. This was purposefully nebulous. Dave, you had a month to literally make a plan. You still have 9 days to do it. I'm sitting in here talking about this while on vacation because I care about you, same as when I got you back to California from Nebraska. I have been mulling over what the best course of action would be if Dave doesn't make it. I'm probably moving this thread to e/n with the stipulation that if Dave makes a non-car related thread in AI or if it becomes non-car related I'll gas it and probate him. He will still be welcome to comment on car poo poo in here, but e/n has a good number of good people that know a hell of a lot more than we do about addiction and this situation. Please feel free to comment about your thoughts on this. I am open to any criticism.
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May 12, 2017 16:06
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Dave is falling into the classic tweaker trap that I have seen many people fall into before. Being a homeless tweaker with underlying mental issues is not cool or good or glamorous even though they sometimes think it is. I've had tweakers tell me they are done with the poo poo and then time and time again it turns out they've been on and off it the whole time and it just so happens they have gotten other friends hooked on it too. Adiabatic is doing the right thing. Dave: stop with the meth. Your life will never be OK until you leave the PNW and make a pledge to yourself to stay off stimulants (and alcohol, because it will drive you back to stims). What you are barreling towards is not funny or good or in any way enjoyable. You are too smart and skilled to go down the "gently caress it all" tweaker route.
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May 12, 2017 16:20
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Comments; I think while things come to a head/crunch time, how about not heaping on criticism and neg comments? If he was really out smoking meth why would he have sent the money from the tool sales to his parents? He wouldn't be trying to sell his honda and looking for food kitchens, he'd be already be doing crimes and poo poo. Nice to be casually posting during your vacation threatening someone who probably doesn't even remember his last that doesn't include icy Nebraska. The mid west or whatever Nebraska is sure doesn;t seem a place that's good for someone wanting to get away from meth and get into a stable long lasting situation. Mod challenges suck, kicking someone when they're down sucks. Fo3 fucked around with this message at 16:25 on May 12, 2017 |
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May 12, 2017 16:23
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Adiabatic is just talking about moving this thread to e/n. Moving a thread isn't really at the level of "kicking someone when they're down."
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May 12, 2017 16:27
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i like nice words
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Dave, feel free to lock the thread until you have something to say.
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May 12, 2017 16:28
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Fo3 posted:Comments; I think while things come to a head/crunch time, how about not heaping on criticism and neg comments? Why is he down in the jungle? There is absolutely no reason for him to be down there. Notice that he ignores the questions about sobriety? He gets squirrelly about it and that's a good tell that he's not staying sober
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May 12, 2017 16:34
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Isn't dude also missing his phone and is without transportation to a library or whatever where there might be an internet connection to check out his own thread where people're whizzing on him and jumping to conclusions? 
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May 12, 2017 16:37
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scuz posted:Isn't dude also missing his phone and is without transportation to a library or whatever where there might be an internet connection to check out his own thread where people're whizzing on him and jumping to conclusions? More like everyone is arguing about where the line is between enabling someone vs being support and being worried for 14 since he made a post about training himself to be homeless...while he can't make posts to give his perspective.
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May 12, 2017 16:56
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Adiabatic posted:Everyone please read this again. I think this is an excellent middle ground.
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May 12, 2017 17:02
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He obviously can't f5 like people with desk jobs, but he has been posting at least once every day.
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May 12, 2017 17:02
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Cat Hatter posted:More like everyone is arguing about where the line is between enabling someone vs being support and being worried for 14 since he made a post about training himself to be homeless...while he can't make posts to give his perspective. 
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May 12, 2017 17:05
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Yeah, I don't think it's put of line for people to be going to extremes when the dude is basically willing to be homeless. Like dude, I know you've probably got this romantic notion of being a drifter, that you'll form a community with the vagrants and be free to do what you want, but in reality, it's going to suck worse than anything. You'll be invisible to everyone, a target for cops to abuse, and what are you going to do n the winter when it's freezing and you have no where warn to go? And once you're homeless in america, with no address, it's almost impossible to get back on your feet. No one here wants to see you in jail, or dead, but both of those are an inevitable outcome of being a hobo. I don't know what we can do that hasn't already been offered, but you have a network of support here for you dude.
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May 12, 2017 17:10
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Fo3 posted:Comments; I think while things come to a head/crunch time, how about not heaping on criticism and neg comments? How do you know he sent the money to his parents? How do you know crimes aren't happening? We've already heard about "found" copper. "The mid west or whatever Nebraska is sure doesn;t seem a place that's good for someone wanting to get away from meth" -- yep, the middle of nowhere has the same level of use and access to meth as the jungle.  You really have no idea what you're talking about. ExplodingSims posted:Yeah, I don't think it's put of line for people to be going to extremes when the dude is basically willing to be homeless. You know exactly what you're talking about. Well put.
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May 12, 2017 17:21
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Seminal Flu posted:Nobody thought there was any problem with the mod challenge when it was issued, because it's a reasonable challenge. Now that you see he doesn't care, you're worried about missing... what... the pitiful squandering of potential to self-pity and addiction? If want to see a homeless meth head ramble, just go to your nearest off ramp, we don't need one to point and laugh at here. I'm not worried about anything other than treating him like a regular person and veteran AI poster. I'm not going to loving judge him for the choices he makes, if he wants to be homeless that's his problem, but that somehow makes him less of a person not worthy of AI? Punishing him isn't going to do a drat thing. Nobody is pointing and laughing at him here (besides a few non AI assholes) but moving the thread to e/n will certainly accomplish that. Yes I initially agreed with the mod challenge but I changed my mind. Close the thread, fine, but banning him is pointless. Moving the thread to e/n is a bad idea, they will just pile on him in there.
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May 12, 2017 17:22
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As a former public defender (who worked a lot with rehabilitative courts that sent people to treatment), I have worked with a lot of people like dave. They were often kind, funny, smart people with hopes and dreams. However mental illness and drugs hosed them the gently caress up. Some of these people are dead, most of them have crminal records (dave, seriously, if you can get help now before you get a record, do it. It only gets harder. You WILL get a record soon on this path, I promise.) Many of them have done prison (not jail yime) and most of the rest will. I've been watching this train wreck trying to avoid flying to seattle, finding dave and shaking him while yelling "what the gently caress are you doing?" Moving out of Seattle won't help. Tweakers love the idea that all they need is to get in a new environment. Nope. You are an addict with a mental health problem. Yeah, it will work for a while, which may have helped in valentine, but you will eventually fall down. Also, you need to stop all the drugs, including alcohol. With dual diagnosis, you really need to be truely clean and sober. The alcohol thing in valentine bugged me and I should have said something then. I honestly think the base here is the mental health issues, not the drugs (though this can be a chicken-egg problem), though really it doesn't matter. They enable each other. You need an inpatient dual diagnosis rehab. You mentioned that you have a social worker. Go to them and ask. Don't wanta religious program? Tell them. They're state employees, they have access (and a duty) to help you into a non-religious program. If you're in medicaid, it may pay for all of it. I know your family has cut you off, but I am pretty sure that if you tell your parents what you're doing they will help you. Seriously, money for rehab is not money for drugs or booze. You're their son and they will move heaven and earth to get you clean. poo poo, I bet goons would send money to a 3rd party to help pay. If none of this works, before or after may 21st if you decide you're ready, and can't get any help anywhere contact me here or on facebook. I make no promises, but I will try to use my connections to get you something. It will probably be in socal. I know people who may be able to help. If you think the worst part is death, gently caress no. The worst part is being a crazy meth addict under a bridge with all sorts of undoagnosed physical health problems or being in prison. You won't have a cat anymore. You probably won't die for a long time, you'll just be in constant pain and suffering. I hope you're nearing your bottom, because below here is just poo poo. I also want to see a plan, but please stop encouraging him to spend money on moving. Spend money on help. Also, i think the mod challenge is reasonable, but I think it should be refocused.
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May 12, 2017 17:39
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Mental health problem what's that? He just needs to HTFU, pull the bootstraps harder and not be a lowlife addict! That's seriously the stance some people are taking in here and it's sad.
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May 12, 2017 17:48
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Yeah, don't move this to en. I'm mixed on the ban, because on one hand, maybe posting here is somehow enabling (due to the attention and some weird adcice) but I'd like him to also be able to get real help when he is actually ready for it and I think we do give a gently caress.
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May 12, 2017 17:58
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I'd still like to see Dave move. Its certainly not going to get him clean, but if he is determined to stay sober anyway it might help to not have a button on his phone that causes meth to appear or a circle of friends that he's used to doing drugs with. That being said, if he is willing to actually use the programs/assistance available to him in Seattle then he'd probably be better off staying for now. I know what its like to decline help to your own detriment because its somehow more valiant that way though and its a hard mindset to get out of.
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May 12, 2017 18:49
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