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Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

Karma.


I still deeply believe Quack cloned Sami Zayn and made him Space Monkey

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Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

Dojo Bros 4 Eva


El Gallinero Gros posted:

Judging by some of the stuff said by ex-Chikara talent in the past, my guess is he either wanted to work elsewhere and Quack wouldn't allow it, or he fell out of love with the business.

Dumb question: is John Silver the Silver Ant? Are any of the remaining ants prominent indy guys? I know Drew Gulak used to be one.

Fire is Orange Cassidy, Gulak was soldier, Hot Sauce Tracy Williams is Silver, all the others are dead and in hell

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

Karma.


Considering how bland he has been in the already bland cruiserweight division I am surprised gulak hasn't pitched soldier ant as a gimmick.

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

Band-aids don't fix arrow wounds


Mel Mudkiper posted:

Considering how bland he has been in the already bland cruiserweight division I am surprised gulak hasn't pitched soldier ant as a gimmick.
iirc that was intentional in CZW at first to get heat but it's probably circumstance in 205 live because whoever is booking these shows hate cruiserweights.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


El Gallinero Gros posted:

Judging by some of the stuff said by ex-Chikara talent in the past, my guess is he either wanted to work elsewhere and Quack wouldn't allow it, or he fell out of love with the business.

I imagine it's the latter. He hits me as someone who has more important poo poo to do these days and his wrestling career's run its course, so he's moving on.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

Karma.


I remember thinking Worker seemed out of shape even for him at the last show

Alastor_the_Stylish
Jul 25, 2006

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



Mel Mudkiper posted:

I remember thinking Worker seemed out of shape even for him at the last show

He's a good guy going to work, raising his family, and playing video games. Not everyone has to give their entire life to wrestling.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

Karma.


Alastor_the_Stylish posted:

He's a good guy going to work, raising his family, and playing video games. Not everyone has to give their entire life to wrestling.

not saying he does?

Just saying it makes sense he is burned out if he was visibly not in his normal ring shape for his last match

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


CHIKARA has more dead ants than the Pink Panther theme.

Dangerous Person
Apr 4, 2011

HEY KID

DM Punk posted:

CHIKARA has more dead ants than the Pink Panther theme.


There is no way you came up with this on your own

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Dangerous Person posted:

There is no way you came up with this on your own

I did, actually.

Dangerous Person
Apr 4, 2011

HEY KID

Then congrats because it's a good post

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Sendai Girls have been announced for King of Trios. Also, they're doing a Game of Thrones theme this year.

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

Band-aids don't fix arrow wounds


Will DASH follow Drew Gulak to the WWE?

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

HUSS
HUSS
HUSS


imagine if the did a King of Trios during season 17

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003

This is the world destruction!
Your life ain't nothin'!


Maybe the plan is Season 17's KOT is in PA and Season 18's is in England.

WHAT IF.

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?

The second batch of Secret Season 17 episodes will be available March 5th at 6pm.

thelazyblank
Jan 21, 2014

I don't know what to put here. Guys? GUYS?!


Jay 2K Winger posted:

The second batch of Secret Season 17 episodes will be available March 5th at 6pm.

Do we know how many batches there are and are they normal 2-3 hour shows? I may want to have a Chikarathon at some point in the near future to catch up with all the nonsense, but I'd prefer having some heads up into what I'm jumping into.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


thelazyblank posted:

Do we know how many batches there are and are they normal 2-3 hour shows? I may want to have a Chikarathon at some point in the near future to catch up with all the nonsense, but I'd prefer having some heads up into what I'm jumping into.

There appears to be three batches of three shows each. At least, nine shows are listed currently. Each show is roughly an hour and fifteen minutes long.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

Karma.


Endless Mike posted:

Maybe the plan is Season 17's KOT is in PA and Season 18's is in England.

WHAT IF.

I really want/need this

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

I will wipe away all tears from your eyes. There shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, there shall be no more pain. All these things are passed away.


Spermgod posted:

chikara is fuckin stupid


Under the vegetable posted:

true. also they have very bad wrestling most of the time

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

Band-aids don't fix arrow wounds


i really loved the people trying to get themselves over on /wooo/ by poo poo-posting in every chikara thread and I'm glad it's caught on here

Dangerous Person
Apr 4, 2011

HEY KID

I like Chikara

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


I wanna know how the crowd go to go to these Season 17 shows. Wonder if they had to sign some NDA. Or maybe they are are friends/family of the wrestlers.

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?

DM Punk posted:

I wanna know how the crowd go to go to these Season 17 shows. Wonder if they had to sign some NDA. Or maybe they are are friends/family of the wrestlers.

I'm sure a lot of them are friends/family. But given that Chikara holds these kinds of shows all the time as part of their training classes, they might have had no idea that these were meant to be anything other than another non-official show.

thelazyblank
Jan 21, 2014

I don't know what to put here. Guys? GUYS?!


If they're doing the shows anyways, then this is probably a pretty good deal for them. They get to piece together these unofficial shows into something that looks good, get to do a massive amount of storytelling in between and give another reason for people to buy the streaming service. This is one time where Quack's weirdness doesn't sound like another weird money sink.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

Karma.


DM Punk posted:

I wanna know how the crowd go to go to these Season 17 shows. Wonder if they had to sign some NDA. Or maybe they are are friends/family of the wrestlers.

One of the shows it looked like a bunch of schoolkids. Some joint thing with an afterschool program?

Lumbermouth
Mar 6, 2008

Have fun watching wrestling
Because wrestling's fun


I actually talked to someone at my gym who was at one of these shows. He got an invite from Bryce, who's involved in the Philly comedy community. It sounds like it was mostly friends and family and word of mouth from Chikara personnel.

Alastor_the_Stylish
Jul 25, 2006

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



So it looks like Moustache Mountain still have the Campeones de Parejas and don't lose them or lose them and then win them back in season 17?

https://twitter.com/petedunneyxb/st...544751235969024

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?

This weekend's cards:

Mar 4 - "Blink" - Kennebunk, Maine

Best of 3 Falls - Campeones de Parejas Cornelius Crummels & Sonny Defarge defend vs The Force (Officers Warren Barksdale & Bruno Meloni)
Singles Match - Mr. Touchdown vs Cajun Crawdad
Tag Team Match - Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee vs Chuck TaylorTM & DUSTIN
Singles Match - Oleg the Usurper vs Wani
Singles Match - Ophidian vs Jeremy Leary
Tag Team Match - Dez Peloton (Jasper Tippins & Donald Kluger) vs Los Ice Creams

Mar 5 - "The Empty Child" - Enfield, Connecticut

Singles Match - Grand Champion Ultramantis Black defends vs Max Smashmaster (w/ Sidney Bakabella)
Atomicos Match - Solo Darling, Travis Huckabee, Los Ice Creams vs Cornelius Crummels, Sonny Defarge, Rock Lobster, Cajun Crawdad
Singles Match - Lucas Calhoun vs Juan Francisco de Coronado
Singles Match - Fire Ant vs Merlok
Singles Match - Dasher Hatfield vs Hermit Crab

It's difficult to explain what storylines may be going on, or even how many points individuals or teams may have, due to the fact that most of Secret Season 17 has yet to be released, but the next batch of shows drops Sunday evening on Chikaratopia. "Every Man For Himself" (episode 17.4) is the only one with information to hand, and it's been revealed to feature the second Infinite Gauntlet.

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

I will wipe away all tears from your eyes. There shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, there shall be no more pain. All these things are passed away.


None of that poo poo is any good!

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?

RacistGuidingLight posted:

None of that poo poo is any good!

Neither are your posts. What's your point?

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

I will wipe away all tears from your eyes. There shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, there shall be no more pain. All these things are passed away.


Jay 2K Winger posted:

Neither are your posts. What's your point?

This is largely untrue. People generally like my posts and my upbeat attitude.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


RacistGuidingLight posted:

This is largely untrue. People generally like my posts and my upbeat attitude.

I do enjoy your posts on a regular basis and I find your humor very witty, which makes your threadshitting more unfortunate.

How could you?

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Thunderfrog is no longer in CHIKARA based on his twitter today. That sucks. He was a perfect fit for CHIKARA, but I guess living in Minnesota hurts things.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

HUSS
HUSS
HUSS


quote:

Campeones de Parejas Cornelius Crummels & Sonny Defarge

these guys are awful and their gimmick is stupid poo poo so i'm pretty mad they beat Mustache Mountain. (who apparently still have the belts?)

they should have released all of the secret season so everyone could be up to date before they run more angles/continue them

Capsaicin
Nov 17, 2004

broof roof roof

boy the camera work in this secret season 17 is....poor, to say the best

Dangerous Person
Apr 4, 2011

HEY KID

DM Punk posted:

Thunderfrog is no longer in CHIKARA based on his twitter today. That sucks. He was a perfect fit for CHIKARA, but I guess living in Minnesota hurts things.

That is so lame. I always liked seeing him at the wrestle factory

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?

Results out of the New England shows

"Blink" (Kennebunk, Maine)
1. Dez Peloton def. Los Ice Creams
2. Mr. Touchdown def. Cajun Crawdad
- Crawdad had his claws taped together before the match and had to get them cut loose.
3. Oleg the Usurper def. Wani via DQ
- Kobald kept trying to get involved and force Oleg to hit him, including jumping in the way of Off With His Head.
- DQ was when Wani hit Oleg in the neck with a stick
4. Chuck Taylor[sup]TM[/sup] & DUSTIN def. Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee
- It was announced that this is Chuckie TM & DUSTIN's third point. They were apparently announced as "Full Price Chocolate & Half Price Vanilla."
5. Ophidian def. Jeremy Leary
- Leary came to the ring wearing Lucas Calhoun's "tiger" outfit and with his other gimmick attire.
- Post-match, Ophidian said Leary earned his respect. Leary sucker-punched him in the corner, and Ophidian hypnotized him to make him dance.
6. Crummels & Defarge def. The Force to retain the Campeonatos de Parejas
- 1st fall: Defarge pin Meloni with a small package after Crummels reversed the pin
- 2nd fall: Meloni pin Defarge with a small package after Crummels reversed the pin, got caught by the ref, and then Barksdale re-reversed it.
- 3rd fall: Crummels pin Barksdale after Great Expectations
7. Encore Match: Lucas Calhoun def. Hermit Crab
- Calhoun evidently lost a hair-vs-hair match in Season 17, because his hair was buzzed short, and he was real pissed off about it.

"The Empty Child" (Enfield, CT)
1. Hermit Crab def. Dasher Hatfield
2. Merlok def. Fire Ant
3. Mr. Azerbaijan, Jeremy Leary, Wani def. Mr. Touchdown & The Force when Leary pinned Barksdale after a shot from his comb.
4. Juan Francisco de Coronado def. Lucas Calhoun
- It was announced that this is JFDC's third point.
5. Crummels, Defarge, Rock Lobster, Cajun Crawdad def. Solo Darling, Travis Huckabee, Los Ice Creams when Crummels & Defarge pinned El Hijo after a step-stool avalanche monkey flip
- This was reckoned as the best match of the show.
6. UltraMantis Black def. Max Smashmaster (w/ Bakabella) to retain the Grand Championship
- Heavily overbooked. Liberal interference from Bakabella.
7. Encore Match: Dez Peloton def. Xyberhawx 2000 (Sylverhawk & Razerhawk)

Also, the second batch of three shows from Secret Season 17 were released last night.

"Every Man For Himself"
- At the barber shop, DUSTIN says Chuck Taylor[sup]TM[/sup] has been in the studio, recording a new single "Are You 4 Real" and may have a new girlfriend, DUSTIN isn't sure.
1. Sylverhawk def. Silver Ant
- At the police squad room, Ofc. Meloni thanks Ofc. Barksdale for getting him into Chikara. Meloni had apparently been in the K9 Unit. The police captain puts them on parking duty.
- Bonus shout-out to 3.0 in the preceding scene, as "Parker & Matthews" are assigned to Grid #2 on the board behind them.
2. Obariyon def. Hiptoss Hank
- Obariyon was sporting a new look.
3. Max Smashmaster (w/ Bakabella) def. Fire Ant
- The Closers (Caprice & Roland) say they'll be co-winners of the Infinite Gauntlet and give the Golden Opportunity to their boss, The Big Deal.
4. Dasher Hatfield wins the Infinite Gauntlet.
- Participants: Rick Roland, Sloan Caprice, Ice Cream Jr, Worker Ant, Ophidian, Heidi Lovelace, Wani, Proletariat Boar, Rock Lobster, Juan Francisco de Coronado, Solo Darling, Hermit Crab, Ashley Vox, Lucas Calhoun, El Hijo del Ice Cream, Nytehawk, Cajun Crawdad, Razerhawk, Donald Kluger, Travis Huckabee, Jeremy Leary, Jasper Tippins, Delmi Exo, Oleg the Usurper, Bullet Ant
Mr. Touchdown, Dasher Hatfield, Ofc. Warren Barksdale, Kobald, Icarus, Missile Assault Man, Hallowicked, Ultramantis Black
- In an epilogue, Ophidian & Fire Ant talk about how they both lost brothers after Chicago. Mike Quackenbush approaches and Ophidian asks him, "Who will avenge Amasis? Who will defend Chikara against the next invading group?" Quack says he has a contingency in place, but Fire Ant says he thinks Ophidian's right and tells him "I'm in."

"The Constant"
- At the barber shop, Travis Huckabee apparently may have a sort-of-crush on a girl and will ask her to be his tag partner.
1. Wani def. Lucas Calhoun
- Jeremy Leary came out, stole Calhoun's sunglasses and scarf, distracting him for the finish.
Crummels & Defarge claimed that Moustache Mountain must be afraid of them to be on the other side of an ocean from them, and that when they get their title shot, it will hurt like the dickens.
2. Crummels & Defarge def. Cajun Crawdad & Hermit Crab
- The crab people were the de facto tecnicos
- This gives Crummels & Defarge their third point.
3. UltraMantis Black def. Kobald
- At the Wrestle Factory, Obariyon spars with Hiptoss Hank. Ophidian & Fire Ant come up to him and say they know what he's feeling and what he wants. "Let us help you get it." Obariyon decks Hank and walks away without answering.
- Princess Kimberlee cut a promo questioning whether she has to do this to one of her friends. "What I do in the ring today, trust me when I say, it's not what I want to do, but it's what I have to."
4. Princess Kimberlee def. Solo Darling
- None of Kim's usual tecnico entrance schtick, and she seemed reluctantly rougher than usual.
5. Xyberhawx 2000 (Sylverhawk & Razerhawk) def. Team Sea Stars
6. Hallowicked def. Icarus to retain the Grand Championship
- Frightmare distracted the referee late in the match, leading to Ophidian coming out to drag Frightmare to the back.
- In an epilogue, Team Sea Stars asked UltraMantis Black to be their mentor, but he turned them down, saying he walks in darkness too great for them to dare follow.

"Happily Ever After"
- Standing beside his classic hot rod, Lucas Calhoun regales a roughneck pal with his feats in the Infinite Gauntlet, when Jeremy Leary rolls up in his own hot rod. Without saying a word, they eyeball a nearby quarter mile strip of road.
1. Jeremy Leary def. Heidi Lovelace
- Leary mocked some of Calhoun's antics late in the match.
- Back on the quarter mile, Calhoun and Leary start and rev their engines. Calhoun's pal gives the "go" signal, and they peel out.
2. UltraMantis Black def. DUSTIN
- This is Mantis' third point
- Back on the quarter mile, Calhoun is stalled on the start line because his car is leaking fluid. As he drives off, Leary holds up a plug from Calhoun's car and laughs.
- Race Jaxon cut a promo setting up his new narcissistic character. He apparently does Crossfit and counts carbs. His new catchphrase is "That's so Race."
3. Race Jaxon def. Lucas Calhoun
- Post-match, Jeremy Leary comes out in more of Calhoun's gear and mocks how someone's stolen his identity, but he wants the "ultimate trophy." He challenges Calhoun to a hair-vs-hair match.
- Back on the quarter mile, Calhoun is ready to deck Leary, but his pal silently convinces him not to do so. Calhoun angrily hands his keys over to a smug Leary.
4. Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee def. The Bloc Party (Mr. Azerbaijan & The Proletariat Boar of Moldova)
5. The Closers def. Xyberhawx 2000 (Sylverhawk & Razerhawk)
- This gives the Closers their third point.
6. Missile Assault Man def. Juan Francisco de Coronado
- In an epilogue, Princess Kimberlee is with The Whisper and isn't happy about it. She says she thought it was over. He whispers something we can't make out. She says, "Fine. What do you want me to do now?" He whispers something in her ear.

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DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


I am honestly getting really bored with CHIKARA. Most of my favs are gone and their replacements are kinda...meh. It's not even the lack of big names or anything, it's just the new gimmicks are pretty terrible.

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