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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

I hit the drums, so pay up

Mania weekend

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exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

   'Cause she's so high
      High above me,
       she's so lovely
           
     - Everclear


Doctor Rope

DM Punk posted:

I am honestly getting really bored with CHIKARA. Most of my favs are gone and their replacements are kinda...meh. It's not even the lack of big names or anything, it's just the new gimmicks are pretty terrible.

There's always Ring of Honor

syzpid
Aug 9, 2014


Chris James 2 posted:

Mania weekend



Legitimately shocked Quack didn't have him wrestle as Odarg The Great...

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!


Chris James 2 posted:

Mania weekend



I was just thinking today what would make me even less likely to watch Chikara, and well Quack knows how to deliver.

CombineThresher
Apr 10, 2006

GIT R DONNE


What makes me sad about Chikara now is that before Quack's stupid idea to shut the promotion down for a year, they had a lot of buzz and really fun characters on their shows. All that went down the drain for that Ashes storyline, and what's worse is the crowds who still go see them aren't nearly as reactive as they were pre-Ashes.

Capsaicin
Nov 17, 2004

broof roof roof

CHIKARA was great because even though you had these training school graduates and goofy comic book gimmicks in 2012, you still had Claudio, SDR, Quack, Eddie Kingston, Ares etc there to give legitimacy. Now, the only regulars that I watch and think "This person is really really good" is Hallowicked. It's all dumb goofy crustacean, cop, and Tour de France gimmicks now with a 80% trainee roster.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


CombineThresher posted:

What makes me sad about Chikara now is that before Quack's stupid idea to shut the promotion down for a year, they had a lot of buzz and really fun characters on their shows. All that went down the drain for that Ashes storyline, and what's worse is the crowds who still go see them aren't nearly as reactive as they were pre-Ashes.

It's a little more than that, I feel. I think Chikara was overall killing it from 2007 to mid-2012. Even when things were at their least exciting, it was still pretty solid and all of their iPPVs were must-watch. Then in the latter part of 2012, basically after King of Trios, everything fell apart. Storylines just kind of petered off. Eddie Kingston was apparently supposed to drop the title at least twice (Sara Del Rey and Tim Donst), but plans changed and they couldn't figure out what to do with him. Quack appeared to have a heel turn coming up, which had a ton of potential, but then they went with a Jigsaw heel turn instead, which wasn't nearly as interesting (though Jigsaw and Shard made a pretty good tag team). The season finale was especially a creative disaster.

Then, just as they were slowly but surely starting to dig their way out of that rut, Ashes hit. Maybe if they still had some momentum it could have been more forgivable, but the one-two punch of latter-2012 and Ashes hurt them bad.

Anyway, I finished watching the latest batch of Season 17 shows. The latest Infinite Gauntlet is mostly boring in the first half (outside of the Closers drawing #1 and #2 and casually thumb wrestling instead of actually battling it out), but picks up in the second half.

It has probably the biggest laugh I've gotten from a Chikara show in a while. Both members of Dez Peloton are in the match and one of their trademarks is that double-team move the World's Greatest Tag Team used to do, the Broken Arrow. The one where one guy holds the opponent by the ankles and drapes their chest over the top rope while the other teammate bounces across the ropes, does a leapfrog and lands on the opponent's back. Kluger is holding Hermit Crab for this move and in the middle of it, he realizes, wait, he can just throw Hermit Crab over the top rope. So he does. Meanwhile, Tippins bounces the ropes and has this reaction of "Dude, what the hell?! ...YAY!"

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?

In further Chikara Mania Weekend news

Friday night, Crummels & Defarge defend the tag titles against Full Price Chocolate & Half Price Vanilla (Chuck TaylorTM & DUSTIN).

Saturday night, Zack Sabre Jr stops by to see if he can stretch Max Smashmaster like he can everyone else. Also, Mantis defends the Grand Championship against Juan Francisco de Coronado.

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


CHIKARA is getting just weird for no reason now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUxHUwmN-aE

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Pinkie Sanchez speaks out on why he is no longer in CHIKARA.

SirDippingSauce
Oct 25, 2012


Ugh, that's really gross and unprofessional of Quack. As the kids says, "hosed up if true".

Embarrassed to ask but what's he mean by "next time I'll leave him without his shoes on"?

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"


If he doesn't get paid he's going to kick Quacks rear end and steal his shoes

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

I hit the drums, so pay up

SirDippingSauce posted:

Ugh, that's really gross and unprofessional of Quack. As the kids says, "hosed up if true".

Embarrassed to ask but what's he mean by "next time I'll leave him without his shoes on"?

He's going to kick his rear end and take his shoes so when he regains consciousness he'll have to walk home uncomfortable for multiple reasons

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Am I the only one feeling like Quack is gunning for that "No, I'M the biggest rear end in a top hat promoter!" spot here? I mean come the gently caress on.

Numero6
Oct 10, 2012


I wonder if it's just for a Quack's heel turn, he's that meta.

NotQuiteQuentin
Jan 29, 2005

BIG OVER


College Slice

Quack being really carny has been an open secret dating back to the CZWfans days. For all his wrestling is art stuff, he still is a promoter.

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

NotQuiteQuentin posted:

Quack being really carny has been an open secret dating back to the CZWfans days. For all his wrestling is art stuff, he still is a promoter.

I can understand disappointment when you feel wrestlers aren't been profesional with you, and the awful realities of the economics of running a pro wrestling school and indy promotion, but.....

Pay the guy, talk to him, and work out what to do about lateness. Telling them they're not going to keep getting booked for showing up late too many drat times is one thing, telling them they're not getting paid tonight is another.

DM Punk posted:

CHIKARA is getting just weird for no reason now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUxHUwmN-aE

Aww yeah, just what the promotion needs. More storyline built around the bus of exploding orphans!

Wazzu fucked around with this message at Mar 16, 2017 around 05:31

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 46 hours!


Chikarason changed his Twitter handle and is saying he's gone

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842484931125239808

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842485170171273216

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842485380356194304

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842485568084856832

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842485759718412289

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842485980061941760

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842486243351019520

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842486526516912130

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842486758583558146

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842487045473865730

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842488575593795585

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842488866091257857

https://twitter.com/JoeSposto/status/842489072903970817

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Man, LFC left CHIKARA months ago. He was just talking about it today since a bunch of guys like Kondron were talking about leaving CHIKARA too. Jolly Roger was esp salty talking about being dropped from CHIKARA after refusing to reschedule his own vacation for Quack.

Surprisingly, Chris Hero seemed to weigh in and take Quack's side albeit not directly.

Capsaicin
Nov 17, 2004

broof roof roof

I stopped caring about Kondron when he went super MRA-y on Twitter for a bit.

Did I get worked?

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


They did another Hour of Power show yesterday. Nothing major happened.

- Mr. Touchdown defeated a jobber.

- Ophidian did an interview where he mentioned that at WrestleMania weekend, he's issuing an open challenge.

- Jeremy Leary defeated Travis Huckabee in a match with a pretty awesome ending outside of a fan trying to get involved. Leary kept doing the Ophidian hand gesture throughout the match. Afterwards, he took part in an interview where he mentioned how fired up he was over losing to Ophidian recently, so he accepts the open challenge.

- Hermit Crab and Cajun Crawdad defeated a couple of jobbers. Afterwards, they were about to do an interview, but a crazed Frightmare showed up. He started screaming stuff at the camera while holding Silver Ant's mask, but he wasn't mic'd, so nobody knows what he said.

- The Whisper defeated Fire Ant cleanly in a pretty good match. After the match, Whisper, Lithuanian Snow Troll (now just Troll) and the weird headless guy (referred to as Mortimer) walked over to the interview area. Whisper shushed the interviewer and they once again had Mortimer open his coat as a projector screen. A projected promo appeared on it with Whisper cryptically offering help to Jeremy Leary for some reason.

- Merlok vs. Razorhawk went to a double count-out. It was mostly in Merlok in control, but they need to keep him from the title picture while building him up, so...

- Juan Francisco walked out and cut a promo while sitting in a wheelchair, saying that he's coming for the title and he's going to put UltraMantis back in the chair where he belongs.

Capsaicin
Nov 17, 2004

broof roof roof

JFDC beat UMB yesterday for the title and Wani beat Space Monkey for YLC.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Capsaicin posted:

JFDC beat UMB yesterday for the title and Wani beat Space Monkey for YLC.

It took five and a half years and six champs before I looked at who they had as Grand Champion and decided, "Eh, no thanks."

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Anyone watch the last 3 secret season shows they just released? Just curious how they wrote out Kimnber Lee and Heidi.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


DM Punk posted:

Anyone watch the last 3 secret season shows they just released? Just curious how they wrote out Kimnber Lee and Heidi.

I'm off tomorrow, so I'll burn through them then.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Finished watching Season 17. The final batch of shows is WAY better than the two batches that came before them. The shows are longer and the match quality is stronger. Makes sense, seeing as how it's almost like a three-part finale.

WHITE RABBIT

- Ophidian speaks with Fire Ant and Obaryion about starting a team to protect Chikara based on how they've all suffered loss from Hallowicked's group. Icarus shows up to join with them.

- Race Jaxon defeats Ophidian to gain his third point.

- Obariyon defeats Frightmare. Hallowicked shows up towards the end to help Frightmare cheat, but he's immediately tackled by Icarus.

- Officers Barksdale and Meloni are shown training outside. Meloni is excited about getting to be in a Chikara tag team and does a lot of different exercises. Barksdale is exhausted just from doing knee pushups.

- For some reason, the show "begins" here with Vlad coming out to the Chikara theme to welcome everyone and announce the first match. Don't know if this was intentional or if they showed things out of order for pacing reasons. Anyway, Crummels and Defarge defeat Xyberhawx 2000 (Razerhawk and Sylverhawk), earning them a fourth point for tag title contention. You only need three.

- Travis Huckabee cuts a promo backstage about how he traded his referee shirt for wrestling tights because he wants to stand up to bullies. This is followed by a match against Max Smashmaster, who annihilates Travis. He finishes him off with two Tombstones and only makes the pin because Bryce threatens to DQ him if he goes for a third.

- Heidi Lovelace does an emotional promo about how accepted she felt at Chikara and how much the place means to her. Now it's time for her to share what she's learned with the whole world. Her opponent is Arik Cannon and in the promo, she points out that he always pulls his punches against her. Whether that's because she's a woman or because he's sweet on her, he has to fight as hard as he can for the fans' sake. The two then have a hard-hitting match that ends when as they're about to collide, Heidi stops them both, grabs Arik, kisses him, and while he's reacting to that, she rolls him up for a pin. Afterwards, they hug it out and Heidi gets a curtain call to say goodbye, all while she's in tears.

- The Closers, who have three points, are sick and tired of waiting for Mustache Mountain to show up and defend the titles already.

- Hallowicked defeats Wani to retain the Grand Championship. Interesting but very fun heel vs. heel match.

- After the show, the Sea Stars find Heidi Lovelace and ask if she'd mentor them. Heidi is flattered that they'd ask, but sadly says that this is her last day in Chikara. She wishes them good luck and walks out the door with her bag.

WHATEVER HAPPENED, HAPPENED

- Lucas Calhoun stands near his car outside, cutting a promo on Jeremy Leary for trying to steal his identity. He challenges him to a hair vs. hair match.

- Mr. Touchdown congratulates Dasher Hatfield for winning the Infinite Gauntlet and getting a title shot. Feeling that he owes Touchdown in a way, Dasher tells him that he's using the golden opportunity to get them a shot at the tag titles instead of going after Hallowicked.

- Merlok makes his debut by crushing Nytehawk.

- Officer Meloni introduces us to his dog, Officer Magnum. All the while, Barksdale casually drinks from his own boot. Afterwards, the Force defeat a team of masked jobbers.

- Backstage, Kimber Lee is distraught at having to take down her friend Fire Ant, but understands that it's necessary. She then goes on to defeat Fire Ant. She continues to show ruthlessness while seeming devastated over it.

- Crummels and Defarge are getting annoyed that Mustache Mountain aren't around, since they already have four points. They go on to defeat Travis Huckabee and Solo Darling, getting them a fifth point.

- Whisper confronts Kimber Lee and whispers into her ear what he wants next. She reluctantly agrees.

- Lucas Calhoun defeats Jeremy Leary in a hair vs. hair match. When it comes time to cut the hair, Leary tries to leave, but gets pulled back in. Leary starts referring to Calhoun as "big brother" though it isn't clear if he means that literally. He namedrops some random people (ie. some professor) and events and it takes Calhoun aback. Calhoun then loses his temper and says that if he wants his identity, then he can have it. Calhoun angrily shaves his own head and leaves.

- UltraMantis Black defeats Hallowicked to become Grand Champion. Great match with the locker room emptying out to watch from around the ring.

- Solo Darling and Travis Huckabee confront Ophidian. Solo's excited to hear that Ophidian's starting a faction called the Furries, but Ophidian disappoints her by saying they're the Furies. Regardless, Travis says they're in.

THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME

- Kimber Lee is at the barbershop, claiming that she "put that skeleton back in the closet" before asking the unseen barber what's up with him. It's a short clip with some creepy music.

- The Force defeat Cajun Crawdad and Hermit Crab.

- Juan Francisco cuts a promo on Missile Assault Man for defeating him and putting him back to zero points. They have a rematch and Juan Francisco wins.

- Fire Ant, Obariyon and Icarus defeat Hallowicked, Frightmare and Kobald.

- Ophidian talks about how disgusted he is with Kimber Lee's actions of late. The two then have a match and while Kimber Lee is as apologetically vicious as she's been this whole season, she keeps looking over towards the entrance as if waiting for something. Finally, Ophidian takes advantage of this and backslides her into a pin. Kimber Lee then runs off towards the back in a panic.

- It's announced that Mustache Mountain have been stripped of the tag titles due to taking too much time to defend them. Instead, the three #1 contender teams (Throwbacks, Crummels and Defarge and the Closers) will compete in a three-way match where the first team to get two falls wins. It's a cool match that paints it where Throwbacks and Closers are practically equals while Crummels and Defarge are beneath them both. After a while, each team picks up a point, all in about a minute apart. In the end, the Closers overpower the Throwbacks and Crummels sneaks off to ring the bell. This confuses the Closers and Sloan Caprice believes that they've won. Instead, Crummels zooms into the ring, crossbodies Sloan, and latches onto the ropes to hold him back while Defarge pins the beaten Mr. Touchdown. Crummels and Defarge are the new tag champs.

- Ophidian talks to all the tecnicos about starting up the Furies and asks them to join his side. The Sea Stars excitedly hold their hands up.

- Race Jaxon does a smarmy promo about how he got into wrestling and it goes on FOREVER.

- UltraMantis Black defeats Race Jaxon and retains the Grand Championship. Race attempts to take off his shirt to show off his body, but his shirt gets stuck. UltraMantis gets tired of waiting, so he proceeds to tear into Race, turning it into a complete squash. After hitting three Preying Mantis Bombs, UltraMantis pins Race.

- After the show, Kimber Lee is confronted by the Whisper. Apparently, their deal was that she'd hurt her friends and in return, he wouldn't tell everyone her secrets. Kimber Lee instead says that she quits and hands him her tiara. As she storms out the door, Whisper plays with his yo-yo. The last shot shows a close-up of the yo-yo, which has a clock design on it. I think this is supposed to tie into the unexplained barber segments (which tend to insinuate that Whisper is the barber), since the counter tends to have a clock sitting in front of all the barber supplies.

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


What a lame way to write Kimber Lee off.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


DM Punk posted:

What a lame way to write Kimber Lee off.

It wasn't the best, but it gave enough reason for good matches against Fire Ant and Ophidian and helped build up the new bad guy in a way.

syzpid
Aug 9, 2014


Gavok posted:

- Solo Darling and Travis Huckabee confront Ophidian. Solo's excited to hear that Ophidian's starting a faction called the Furries, but Ophidian disappoints her by saying they're the Furies. Regardless, Travis says they're in.

- Ophidian talks to all the tecnicos about starting up the Furies and asks them to join his side. The Sea Stars excitedly hold their hands up.



Please Quack

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Here's Heidi Lovelace's last promo from White Rabbit. It's SO good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0ZUKU1lgSw

CombineThresher
Apr 10, 2006

GIT R DONNE


syzpid posted:



Please Quack

Kinda surprised he never went this route with Dasher Hatfield, really.

SirDippingSauce
Oct 25, 2012


CombineThresher posted:

Kinda surprised he never went this route with Dasher Hatfield, really.

I never knew how much I wanted this until right now.

If they ever turn him heel, they should totes to this! Won't even have to handwave it really-- just say his save file glitched again or something.

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


So, CHIKARA just ended their Hour of Power episode with Merlock throwing Jawsolyn into a fridge and shutting the door on her. Before that, he tossed her into a wall, then into a table, then finally into the fridge.

OGB
Aug 13, 2003

Tingly.

DM Punk posted:

So, CHIKARA just ended their Hour of Power episode with Merlock throwing Jawsolyn into a fridge and shutting the door on her. Before that, he tossed her into a wall, then into a table, then finally into the fridge.

Christ, Quack isn't being subtle about his comic nerd roots here.

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

OGB posted:

Christ, Quack isn't being subtle about his comic nerd roots here.

What should we pay tribute to? I know, one of the most criticized horrifically pointlessly sexist moments in comic book history!

thelazyblank
Jan 21, 2014

I don't know what to put here. Guys? GUYS?!


Wazzu posted:

What should we pay tribute to? I know, one of the most criticized horrifically pointlessly sexist moments in comic book history!

[quack] Well, if comics do terrible things that their audience hates for a variety of reasons, then I must do terrible things that my audience will hate for a variety of reasons! [/quack]

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


I'm not even mad. That's amazing.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Just a heads up, they're currently streaming the Infinite Gauntlet live on Chikaratopia.

DM Punk
Aug 24, 2004


Solo Darling won which was a surprise.

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Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


This Saturday, Chikara's doing their Aniversario show and they're going back to Hellertown for the first time in years. Lots of older names will be showing up. So far announced:

- UltraMantis Black, Dasher Hatfield, Mr. Zero, Icarus and Ophidian vs. Hallowicked, Juan Francisco, Gran Akuma, El Hijo del Ice Cream and Frightmare

- Del Peloton vs. Crummels and Defarge

- Missile Assault Man vs. Oleg the Usurper

- Crossbones vs. Merlok

- Mr. Touchdown and Fire Ant vs. Jigsaw and Arik Cannon

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