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The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.



loving tell me about it

Good thing I have no other expensive hobbies or wife or kids!

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Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


Vahakyla posted:

I even still have mine complete set somewhere in my house, it'd be hilarious to not get mounts issued one day here in the US and bring the same loving kit that was meant to avoid bullshit in a different army.
That's not a half bad idea. Sometimes the little clippy thingie on the J-arm wears out and doesn't stay attached to the mount. Super fun when it bounces off every time you get jostled. It's entirely possible that your armorer may not have spares on hand, too!

vains
May 26, 2004


Justin Tyme posted:

What the gently caress kinda unit would send dudes out on patrol with CROWS and MRAPs with those little screens and thermals scopes and NODs but not issue laser aiming devices? That's like, supply completely forgetting to order MREs or not having any batteries for any of the radios.

Did they at least give you tracers to kentucky windage your shots in? In our unit, not having NODs/lasers was like not being issued a weapon.

prolly gave them all to cooks, clerks and mechanics

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Naked Bear posted:

That's not a half bad idea. Sometimes the little clippy thingie on the J-arm wears out and doesn't stay attached to the mount. Super fun when it bounces off every time you get jostled. It's entirely possible that your armorer may not have spares on hand, too!

When it comes to stuff like that sometimes it's good to get your own at the surplus store and never leave them around, same with magazines since those eventually end up getting loaned/stolen and never returned.

Also, the master play of buying a little hobbit sack of grenade pins to throw in the top flap of your ruck.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


Justin Tyme posted:

What the gently caress kinda unit would send dudes out on patrol with CROWS and MRAPs with those little screens and thermals scopes and NODs but not issue laser aiming devices? That's like, supply completely forgetting to order MREs or not having any batteries for any of the radios.

Did they at least give you tracers to kentucky windage your shots in? In our unit, not having NODs/lasers was like not being issued a weapon.

Reserve engineer unit. We didn't go on patrol every day, but we did have to convoy a lot of poo poo around between construction sites, so it wasn't unusual to wind up in a TIC. Ironically, the cooks and other HHC personnel got into the biggest TIC of anyone. About half of my equipment got stuck at Shank because the white truck contract to deliver it got cancelled by CI. Every line platoon was forward deployed, and all of my MRAPs and flat beds were with me and I didn't have any bodies to spare, so they had to pull from the headquarters to staff the convoy.

Halfway between Shank and Ghazni they got attacked by about a dozen dudes who gave no fucks about the AWT circling overhead. All they really succeeded in doing was riddling a bunch of my dump trucks, bulldozers, and five yard loaders with bullet holes before dying.

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.



Someone stole all of our 123 and AA batteries out of our connex on my last JRTC rotation. Queue everyone freaking out, because there was nothing they could do about it. Whoops we can't run night ops and nobody can drive anywhere after dark because it's blackout drive only.

Genocide Tendency
Dec 24, 2009

I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.


The Rat posted:

Nods chaaaaaat



If you replace the ac canister with Zyklon B, this picture would be more accurate.

Vahakyla
May 3, 2013

My battleboo just said "yeah, us. Ma'am. We'll be going to war. Not you."


Is a five mile run a requirement for Airborne School?

My contract states "the ability to run five miles in under 45 minutes". However, a bunch of people say they didn't do such thing.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



Vahakyla posted:

Is a five mile run a requirement for Airborne School?

My contract states "the ability to run five miles in under 45 minutes". However, a bunch of people say they didn't do such thing.

airborne school runs at a slow as poo poo pace. you know that annoying pace that is just a liiiiiittle too fast for you to walk, but just a liiiiiiittle to slow for you to jog? yeah, that pace.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Vahakyla posted:

Is a five mile run a requirement for Airborne School?

My contract states "the ability to run five miles in under 45 minutes". However, a bunch of people say they didn't do such thing.

I believe it is. Never went Airborne, but I remember a buddy telling me something about it. But 5 miles at a 9 min pace isn't that bad. Unless you just super suck at running...

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

The last person I talked to who went said they did several 3-5 mile runs and basically if you fell out "gently caress you, go home." A few people fell out of the first one, and it was just "never do that again, or you go home," primarily to keep from cutting a ton of females right off the bat.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


When I looked into it like 7 years ago it was 4 miles in 36 minutes.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


I can't remember the last time I ran a mile. What I'm getting at is running blows.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

I can't remember the last time I ran a mile. What I'm getting at is running blows.

i started running again a few days ago for the first time in two years. i ran a lot on the weekends when i was in because it was nice to see parts of Ft Campbell while running that weren't loving Tennessee Ave.

running was actually relaxing and helped me work off stress. now i just wanna do it because i feel like a badass when i run ten miles.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


Holy poo poo, I haven't worked out in three years now. No wonder I feel like rear end. That, and the Taco Bell binge I was on early last year.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


Running is great when it isn't army running. Like a nice trail run or something where you can stop when you want and run as fast and slow as you want is pretty enjoyable.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



running owns if you're decent at it. but the work required to become decent at it is loving horrible.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Or when you're running in step but the only people who have slurped army dick enough to sing songs are midgets with lightning fast midget steps and you are just listening to your cartilage disintegrate.

Oh, army, gently caress you.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Airborne school doesn't have a run event besides the APFT, however you will run for PT in the mornings some days and it wouldn't be good for you if you fell out. PT is somewhat of an afterthought and you'll do basically whatever, one day we did combatives of all things. You'll probably have a long "fun run" with the company commander/1sg at some point which I suspect is what people call the long 5 miler, and you'll run to the training areas in boot, helmet, and canteen, but it's not to break you off, its literally just to traverse the grounds.

You need to keep in mind these are big Army TRADOC runs that have fat gently caress women running too, I'd worry about not getting hosed over on pushups or situps or making GBS threads your pants on your first jump. If you can, take the PT test during Basic if you're at Sand Hill and they still do that. I took it early and got to sleep in while a bunch of people got failed on pushups .

tldr yes, you will run, but only the two mile run is an "event" so to speak, and all the runs are at fat people pace because this isn't RASP or selection. RASP, on the other hand... well, the cadre decided they were gonna get an actual workout for themselves and gently caress you if you can't keep up which lead to a mile-long string of fallouts, but that's a longer story involving some dumbass private candidate asking the commander of the 75th Ranger Regiment to his face as a pep rally why they didn't do PT in the morning which he was.... unaware of to put lightly.

Justin Tyme fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Jan 3, 2017

Stanley Goodspeed
Dec 26, 2005
What, the feet thing?

Belated NVG chat - my first time driving a HMMWV in Afghanistan / second time ever was in the dark with PVS-7s, in Kunar outside of Camp Blessing in case you've had a chance to visit. Place is super mountainous and the roads are, at best, only slightly more than the width of the vehicles, with a steep drop on one side and a cliff face on the other. I pretty much just scraped the side of the truck against the rocks the entire time as my team leader in the TC seat just resigned himself to saying "no, left, left, stop, left" since I couldn't see a loving thing and I was really worried about rolling down a mountain and killing us all.

I was in the turret from that day forward.

Justin Tyme posted:

Also, the master play of buying a little hobbit sack of grenade pins to throw in the top flap of your ruck.

What's this for?

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



I watched Band of Brothers recently, don't you guys run up Currahee with Ross Geller on a daily basis at airborne?

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Stanley Goodspeed posted:

Belated NVG chat - my first time driving a HMMWV in Afghanistan / second time ever was in the dark with PVS-7s, in Kunar outside of Camp Blessing in case you've had a chance to visit. Place is super mountainous and the roads are, at best, only slightly more than the width of the vehicles, with a steep drop on one side and a cliff face on the other. I pretty much just scraped the side of the truck against the rocks the entire time as my team leader in the TC seat just resigned himself to saying "no, left, left, stop, left" since I couldn't see a loving thing and I was really worried about rolling down a mountain and killing us all.

I was in the turret from that day forward.


What's this for?

For when you do a live fire range with smokes/frags and some dingus doesn't keep the pin so you're stuck crawling in the tall grass looking for it, except now you have a bunch of pins and save the day for all your friends.

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008


Justin Tyme posted:

For when you do a live fire range with smokes/frags and some dingus doesn't keep the pin so you're stuck crawling in the tall grass looking for it, except now you have a bunch of pins and save the day for all your friends.

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.


Stanley Goodspeed posted:

Belated NVG chat - my first time driving a HMMWV in Afghanistan / second time ever was in the dark with PVS-7s, in Kunar outside of Camp Blessing in case you've had a chance to visit. Place is super mountainous and the roads are, at best, only slightly more than the width of the vehicles, with a steep drop on one side and a cliff face on the other. I pretty much just scraped the side of the truck against the rocks the entire time as my team leader in the TC seat just resigned himself to saying "no, left, left, stop, left" since I couldn't see a loving thing and I was really worried about rolling down a mountain and killing us all.

I was in the turret from that day forward.

PVS-7's are the worst thing ever. No depth perception whatsoever. Every single time I put one on, I would trip on something and bust my rear end in a calamitous manner.

Stanley Goodspeed
Dec 26, 2005
What, the feet thing?

Justin Tyme posted:

For when you do a live fire range with smokes/frags and some dingus doesn't keep the pin so you're stuck crawling in the tall grass looking for it

Maybe I was lucky or maybe I've just obliterated any memory of it but I can't for the life of me say I've ever had to get a grenade pin back.

The Rat posted:

PVS-7's are the worst thing ever.

Yeah I was constantly eating poo poo with those things on. I was one of several unlucky dudes who didn't get PVS-14s, at least until after I broke about four pairs of the PVS-7s with my face and finally the armorer was like well I guess you can have the supply NCO's 14s since he's never around anyway...

Just loving lol that we had good night vision for non-combat dudes with stripes but none for the low-ranking actual infantry dudes who might actually need or use the dang things. ~army~

Stanley Goodspeed fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Jan 4, 2017

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

MurderBot posted:

I watched Band of Brothers recently, don't you guys run up Currahee with Ross Geller on a daily basis at airborne?

realtalk he was really dang good in BoB

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006


Have you considered not attending the Captain's Career Course?


While I was in HHC they ran a range to qualify everyone and I was surprised how many non-combat arms soldiers had poo poo like ACOGs and EOTECHs. While the line platoons have plenty of optics I'm sure the guys left with 68's would prefer an EOTECH or an ACOG.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

While I was in a "combat arm" forward deployed we all had Muskets, except the air national guard AF guys, who had tricked-the-gently caress-out M4s.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


We had M4s with whichever manner of tacticool crap you wanted on them. Our maintenance platoon had M16s, but they put M4 buttstocks on them. I'm not positive, but I'm fairly certain that the buffer spring on an M16 is different than on an M4 so maybe this wasn't the best idea? idk

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.


Rifle length stock assemblies are different from carbine length. If they swapped out to M4 stocks, they would have swapped out the entire assembly. Putting a rifle buffer in a carbine stock tube would mean you can't charge the weapon all the way.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

we had m-16s in iraq but a few people bought the m4 upper receivers so they could walk to the chow hall easiet

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Nostalgia4Butts posted:

realtalk he was really dang good in BoB

He was, you get like 3 seconds of "lol omg it's ross" followed by some really legit acting during his entire time on screen.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

his movie that he made with simon pegg was great too

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.


Nostalgia4Butts posted:

we had m-16s in iraq but a few people bought the m4 upper receivers so they could walk to the chow hall easiet

A couple dudes from my Bn's old recon platoon bought their own M9s privately and brought them on deployment. I think their immediate chain of command knew, but no one else was the wiser.

I was like drat, I wish I had thought of that.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

What I noticed with combat arms units is that if you've got flogged out weapons and no decent gear then sure as gently caress battalion has plasma TVs coming out their rear end.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


not caring here posted:

What I noticed with combat arms units is that if you've got flogged out weapons and no decent gear then sure as gently caress battalion has plasma TVs coming out their rear end.
They sure did have TVs and computers out the rear end. They also stopped the supply sergeants from ordering useful stuff in the run-up to deployment. Every person got exactly one (1) PMAG.

We did get 320s and 240Ls, but squadron can't take credit for those.

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006


Have you considered not attending the Captain's Career Course?


I still can't believe how much poo poo costs that the Army buys. The chairs we use are like $450, desks like $4000 and I'm pretty sure the huge table in the classroom costs over S10,0000. Could save so much money just buying poo poo from COSTCO or Ikea, it's not like the stuff the Army buys is high quality material or anything.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

The Rat posted:

A couple dudes from my Bn's old recon platoon bought their own M9s privately and brought them on deployment. I think their immediate chain of command knew, but no one else was the wiser.

I was like drat, I wish I had thought of that.

Yeah we had some guys do that too. Why is that cool? Just beat up a detainee like the cool kids and then you've got a story for life instead of a useless loving pistol

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008


Mustang posted:

I still can't believe how much poo poo costs that the Army buys. The chairs we use are like $450, desks like $4000 and I'm pretty sure the huge table in the classroom costs over S10,0000. Could save so much money just buying poo poo from COSTCO or Ikea, it's not like the stuff the Army buys is high quality material or anything.

Some of the poo poo on GSA Advantage was cheap buy it was labyrinthine to navigate

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The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.


Zeris posted:

Yeah we had some guys do that too. Why is that cool? Just beat up a detainee like the cool kids and then you've got a story for life instead of a useless loving pistol

Yeah I mean on one hand it would be cool to have a pistol and legitimately say you carried it to war.

On the other hand, it's a goddamn Beretta.

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