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ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Vahakyla posted:

Is a five mile run a requirement for Airborne School?

My contract states "the ability to run five miles in under 45 minutes". However, a bunch of people say they didn't do such thing.

I believe it is. Never went Airborne, but I remember a buddy telling me something about it. But 5 miles at a 9 min pace isn't that bad. Unless you just super suck at running...

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ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Protip: Call your branch manager. They can usually help you out. Especially if you are in a smaller MOS. For the longest time the guys in my MOS all knew the branch manager, all we had to do was call him up and he would fix your orders.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Mike-o posted:

should have been a Glock 19 so more idiots would accidentally off themselves because they don't understand trigger discipline

Quoted for truth. And the ARMY way.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

spacetoaster posted:

Anybody ever gotten a positive counseling? I hear commander's say that they're possible, but I ain't never seen one.

I actually would write some up. I handed out about 1 a month. I would basically pick the guy who kicked the most rear end or improved the most and do a positive 4856 for them. It actually went a long way for morale. It also had the added benefit of helping them with boards. All the 1SGs and CSM would be all excited that the soldier has positive counselings in their packets, then they would cut them more slack on the board.

But, according to my soldiers, I was one of the "good" NCOs. You know, I worked and stuff.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Vahakyla posted:

I don't even understand why such chance to be a flight medic should be about the Army Song or collar insignia, but oh well, I guess I'll loving do it.

Boards are the dumbest thing about the Army. Hopefully you get to tell a CSM that they are wrong. Twice.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

A true soldier knows he is having a heart attack, takes a knee and drinks some water from his canteen on his pistol belt, then drives on singing cadence.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Went to PLDC with an ASVAB waiver guy. He scored a 12. Which was an improvement over his previous score of 8. He thought he was the best engineer ever. Dude only passed because our SGL took pity on him and saw us helping him out.

Before meeting that guy I thought it was impossible to fail a military course.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Zeris posted:

I am MTOE'd Katy Perry and Gwen Stefani for my dick but am often forced to make do with less

I think we can all relate to that.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Vahakyla posted:

So where can I find the six letter unit codes? My 173rd sub unit is "WARJ1A" and Googling points out it is "one of the 173rd units". I am like well yes, but which one?

Like said above, you are referring to an UIC. Each company, BN, BDE, etc has one. Usually, grain of salt needed here, the last character in the UIC is the company. That is assuming that no one seriously screwed up with your unit, like one of my previous units, where everything was one character higher than it was supposed to be.

TLDR; You should be going to A Co.

EDIT: I am a moron and can't read, don't worry about the exact company, you will be a BDE or BN asset as a medic most likely.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

manchego posted:

Campbell had/has a breakfast truck where the family makes green salsa and it's seriously the best thing ever made and I would cheerfully kill people to obtain the recipe.

I wonder if it was a New Mexico thing, cause they're big on green pepper poo poo. Basically it was a garlic-y and green hot sauce. So good.

Tomatillos. That is the secret to their salsa. That and sometimes avocado. My wife makes that poo poo all the time.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Wasabi the J posted:

Good Army day. State reached out to me regarding my PDHRA mental health portion just to check in on me, and followed up with the resources I requested, so that I can get counseling and therapy for cheap/free.

:unsmith:

Whoa there... You mean that they did their jobs?

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

That would make an awesome AV...

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

CHICKEN SHOES posted:

lets run 4 miles in gas masks and body armor guys c'mon it will be great don't you have heart don't you care arent you a warrior what if you're on a battlefield and we have to formation run in gasmasks you'll DIE man YOU loving PUSSY

Young me thought it was awesome running with body armor. It actually helped my run time. Older me hates the younger and what he did to my knees.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.


Wow. Also, could totally happen.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

psydude posted:

So, I just had to spend a couple of days in Augusta. That place sucks. It's not as bad as St. Robert, Fayetteville, or Killeen, but it's still pretty awful.

I feel your pain. Try being stationed at FT Gordon. God that place sucks.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Kaliber posted:

I inherited about 45 ETS/PCS guys from all the platoons before our transition plus 5 art 15 chap dudes so it's been a pain in the rear end to keep track of everyone. This dude is 15% over body fat, his old PSG has been forging his ABC paperwork and apparently he hasn't passed an APFT in over a year either so there's no chance in hell he'll be able to reenlist. The only reason why we let that slide, is because by the time his old PSG left was because he was 90 days out from terminal leave and it was decided that it was easier to just let him get out then let that poo poo drag on with a chapter.

But I'm about to make one of my three NCOs escort him everywhere. I got one NCO who is about to get the boot for a DUI/crashing into a church, another who has an ankle bracelet and has to meet his PO weekly for his fast and furious race + car crash, and my only squared away one who's transitioning out next week and able to drive. Sucks to be the squared away one who never gets in trouble.

I got stuck on a similar "mission". I had my clusterfuck of a E4 outprocessed of the Army if 2.5 days. You just have to plan the route and have a stack of statements of charged presigned.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Wasabi the J posted:

I'm already a 25S and I want my legal weed. gently caress the army.

Was also a 25S.

Are they still doing that crazy test to get into 25D? We had guys scoring like 50 out of 800 and were told it was a good score....

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

rifles posted:

At my last AT I joked to our PSG that the new guy to our unit (been there for a month) deserves a medal for unclogging a shitter in our designated separate-building bathroom. Someone dropped a huge gross half-diarrhea MRE deuce and clogged this toilet and it sat for a week and a half until we were clearing and he plunged that thing with a plunger that was missing half the handle, and he had no protective gear.

PSG put him in and he got an AAM and a coin from the BC lol

army.txt right there...

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Oxygenpoisoning posted:

I think of problem Soldiers as people who actually did something undeniably bad. For example, I have 4 people I'm currently chaptering out. I have various other soldiers Soldiers who have trouble with PT, weight control, or just aren't particularly good at their jobs. These people I can work with and genuinely try to find a solution for their shortfalls that isn't treating them like poo poo until they do better.

My chapter cases, sans the a failed UA, I am generally pretty on top of because they could cause a lot of additional problems. The UA was super forth coming and accepted they are getting kicked out, so I just let them clear because it's the path of least resistance. The guy who tried to commit a sexual assault or steal weapons from the arms room are getting the most stringent punishment allowed under UCMJ.

You can't post about a guy trying to steal from the arms room without more story. Don't play with my heart.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

I genuinely think one of the reasons I hated the military so much was because it was detrimental to myself to watch out for people once I got into a leadership position. I was seriously loving myself over by trying to keep my dudes healthy and motivated.

Total agreement on this. What should be no brainer actions suddenly make you less than a child rapist.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Mustang posted:

Ummm excuse me but there’s red boxes on this excell spreadsheet. They need to be green.

Now.

Jokes on you. I made a rule for the training room spreadsheet that automatically made any of my red boxes turn green. Went years without mandatory training at my last duty station.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Zeris posted:

Hahaha this retard posts on that forum

This joke is making the rounds again already? It only works if you wait a few months for people to forget...

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Vahakyla posted:

When soldiers come to me for non-physical help, I often tend to get them to, or contacted by, or somehow involved with MFLC, since I’ve seen first hand how awesome and well they seem to handle things. Before I got all hosed up I had a rifleman who was having serious family issues to go to an MFLC and he wanted me to go with him, and we all met at a pasta place off-post, miles away from any americans.

It was really cool, and the guy went to see the counselor after that first time, too. Without me on the future times. It hasn’t even been the only time, far from it, that I’ve involved them.

MFLC seems really cool and the total disconnect from the uniformed side seems to help a bunch.

Luckily at our BAS in the morning you can get a slip to give to your supervisor, and you don’t have to tell poo poo to anyone, not even me, if you wanna go see medical.

On the contrast, sick call at the battalion next door is completely reversed asshattery ritual with the infantry sergeants ”triaging” or whatever the gently caress they say they are doing, and it’s most gayest thing I’ve witnessed.

MFLC is one of the best resources the Army ever developed. I would carry around about 5 of their cards on me at all times. Got one of my mechanics some treatment for his alcoholism because of those guys.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

mlmp08 posted:

Yeah.

"Say again" is probably my worst thing that not only makes it very obvious, but also routinely confuses civilians who've never heard that term before and are wondering why two words they know got smashed together in a confusing way.

I never say this in passing or at work ever, but my wife does enjoy, though does not use, the phrase "soup sandwich." She just likes the visual picture of some dumbass trying to force a soup sandwich to work.

I don't use them often, but goatrope and clusterfuck work pretty well.

My wife found "soup sandwich" extremely funny.

She uses it all the time now.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Soulex posted:



My crazy idea? Use SGT's time for poo poo like driving tests for vehicles, weapons qualifications, and other bullshit the military actually requires you to do. Like cool, you can call in a 9-line at the motor pool but you cant drive an LMTV. SGT's time for working with soldiers on getting their ASU's ready for whatever inspection is going to happen. SGT's time training on how to properly conduct PT. Make SGT's time training not regimented to the point where everyone makes appointments on Thursdays. Do it when it is appropriate. SGTs time training on how to raise a flag at 1000? gently caress that, do it at 600 and let them watch and practice the real thing.

What the gently caress do I know though, I was a piece of poo poo SGT.

This is how we ran SGT's time in my unit. If there was nothing pressing we turned it into MOS specific training/cross training the other signal guys.

For the cross training, I would put one of my middle of the road guys in charge with a more senior guy to help him out, that way the teacher was reinforcing what they just learned by teaching and making the other guys better.

The key is to "say" you are doing 9-line training, but actually do what makes sense.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Pretty sure is was 2015, right after I did my final out.

I remember hearing about it and laughing, knowing it would never bother me.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Viva Miriya posted:

They told me I'd make sergeant asap and i have a kid on the way with my stripper boo chantelle so i needed a job quick. Fueler was the fastest ship date. Imma get hella strong and go SF tho.

This is a joke, right? RIGHT?

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

boop the snoot posted:

Stopped saying squared away

This man knows how to live.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Mustang posted:

Soldiers in support companies have got to be the most god awful, incompetent soldiers in the Army.

I'm not even a trained logistician and I have to double check to make sure they do poo poo right.

They have 5 loggie officers and like 7 E7 and above. I have no idea how they consistently gently caress everything up.

Only 5-10% of the guys in a support unit know their job. Usually, those guys spent time with a "real" unit. The rest are just stealing oxygen and collecting a pay check.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

DoktorLoken posted:

:allears:

Because all that matters is the perspective of some line unit dudes who have never seen how the Army works above the battalion or brigade level. Everything just magically happens for them.

You speak some truth. I've seen it the other way. The best training I received (concerning my support MOS) was WHILE in a line unit. The good commanders recognized the need for support and acted accordingly.

I was shocked when I ended up in a strictly "support" unit. I went from senior guys that I could ask for help, advice, training, etc to guys that were blatantly fired for incompetence once people figured out their only skill was running fast.

BDE and DIV tended to "steal" the really good seniors to run their shops, we ended up with the short timers and rejects.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

movax posted:

Serious post: I need to learn more about electrical grounding procedures / methods for helicopters deathtraps for a SBIR proposal. Any UNCLASS FMs available or other public resources?

Alternately, stories of poor bastards having to manually ground birds before cargo / refueling / etc operations will help me better replace said bastards with a robot. :science: User research! I thought I remembered an entertaining 50FA tale about this.

PM / pointing me to IRC is cool too since, public forum. Don’t tell me anything you’re not supposed too, obviously.

There is an actual Army FM for grounding. My Googling is not turning up the exact pub number. Its full of crazy poo poo you can do to ground things, it might have somethign about flying death traps in it.

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ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.


Ah yes, that was it. I got a hold of one once. The command did not approve of my new grounding system.

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