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Ice Cream Barbara posted:gently caress you if you're still in Threatenin' me with a good time, I see. 7 More Years. Also still waiting on that Big Green Weenie tag from the last Army thread.
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Dec 31, 2016 20:33
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TPSDude posted:You guys joke about porn malware, but the afghan artillery officers who maintained control over the whatever D30 howitzer ballistic calculator we gave them did this regularly. The device was just a pda that ran an app, they used it on the side to browse porn off the MWR's wi-fi. Several times we asked them to use the thing only for them to say it wasn't working and under closer scrutiny was under some ransomware lockout or chugging from all the zombie programs running on it. I cant wait for some Afghan kid to find an exploit and end up taking control of the system that should have never been used outside of a local network. Imagine those headlines.
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Jan 20, 2017 03:46
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Mike-o posted:Edit: I wouldn't want to leave here because I like talking with you dudes being that you're some of the only people around that even understand what it feels like. This thread helps remind me that even though the Army kinda sucks, some of the people in it are cool and good and worth being a not-poo poo NCO for. You goons help me get through the day.
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Mar 1, 2017 12:40
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So, for the second time in about a week, I've woken up early to go on a ruck march that wasn't happening. No one out here at all, no route planning, nothing. I swear that motherfucker is going to tell me to check my e-mail on the weekend at this rate. Lesson is: gently caress you if you're still in.
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Mar 6, 2017 11:24
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These days I have serious doubts I can stay in for 6 more years. Even with my MOS, or perhaps because of it, I am at least a little insulated from it. But the morale here is just gone, and people wonder why our retention numbers are solid red.
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Mar 13, 2017 15:26
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Woof Blitzer posted:Rak solid... Fun! Im right down the street at Brigade. Today we have two hours of safety standdown because one kid committed suicide and another shot himself in the face. Also have the Rak Sale today! Let me know if you want any unit swag. Welcome to Campbell! Hope you like poo poo weather. EDIT: This place isn't that bad. My experience has been pretty sour, though, so it bleeds into my posts. Its a lot like any other station, keep your nose clean and you'll be fine. Clarksville has some good places to eat and a great farmers market that opens in may-June, and Nashville is an hour out. You'll be fine. Never work staff. Triggs posted:I'm headed to the CAB Have some friends there. It's not that bad. J.A.B.C. fucked around with this message at 16:04 on Mar 23, 2017 |
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Mar 23, 2017 15:59
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Campbell and Hood both have gut trucks, and from talking to one of the drivers one day they never fail to get business. One out at Hood also sold Gillette razors in those dumb 10 packs for Privates that forgot their own. Gut trucks are a part of Army life, and have been for a while. Same for the ajuuma tents in Korea.
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Mar 23, 2017 19:48
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Woof Blitzer posted:*8 hours of sitting inside vehicles at motorpool hiding from NCOs* army strong *8 hours of hiding in the motorpool from the XO* NCOs lead the way, hooah
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Mar 25, 2017 15:40
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So we have a bunch of events coming up in the next few months that my command team listed as no-fail. A large ftx, redeployments, and a couple of historic events that roll into the 75th anniversary of the 101st. So of course the officer downrange, who doesn't even do Public Affairs work, wants me to replace him while he prepares to retire. The man is a running joke who has spent the deployment posting up photos of PT to Facebook while doing his job as an MP advisor, which I am not even close to be trained for. I'm not even mad about going over, as the chances are slim and it'd be four months of extra tax-free pay. Just that it'd only be a Cpt's act of pointless spite that would screw over the brigade PA coverage plan. I'm posting here because I'm certain staff doesn't know this place exists, and I have no other army people to talk to.
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Apr 1, 2017 01:53
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Zeris posted:Have a cool answer ready for when a printout of this ends up on your desk. "Army Public Affairs policy allows for the existence of blogs, webjournals and other social media accounts as long as they adhere to OPSEC. No names or units were harmed in the making of this post." Eh. I've been through worse. Besides, if I get green weenie'd for posting here I'll post pics of the DD214 on the way out the door. I'd see that as a badge of honor. Means I'm important enough to be noticed and followed.
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Apr 3, 2017 17:39
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:Word, I'll admit being ignorant of the Stryker. I remember that they seemed like a hot mess like, poo poo, 10+ years ago. I didn't even realize the 105s had been fielded. I'd only ever seen the ones with the .50cal CROWS or whatever. I touched a Stryker once. There's my Stryker story. Also, holy gently caress Mustang, I thought our ADA units three rotations were bad. Seriously, there's no wonder why people are butthurt about that OpTempo.
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Apr 5, 2017 03:52
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Naked Bear posted:If there's anywhere in the world I'm glad to have never been, it's Polk. Only been there once for JRTC. I envy you. Still not as bad as Yakima, but that's like comparing a cesspool and an acid pit.
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Apr 13, 2017 00:01
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Got to interview Mat Best for a military ball we had a while back, since one of our Gold Star Wives invited him out. He's surprisingly low-key and super respectful, especially when compared to his Youtube stuff. So I could see him being the type of guy to reach out to vets who got the short end of the stick. And, hey, Joe is going to talk poo poo even after he gets out, regardless of MOS. If you can profit off of that, then more power to you. I'm not keen on reminding myself of my job during my down-time. Also, LOL at the MMA stuff. Only know one guy who actually does it, and his hobby was Judo until he got to Ft. Hood. The difference between a regular MMA fighter and some Joe out of Combatives Academy is laughable.
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Apr 18, 2017 16:39
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Kaliber posted:You guys are no fun. This is the Army, and I don't see F, U or N anywhere in ARMY.
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Apr 26, 2017 00:03
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Vahakyla posted:I didn't buy that stupid platoon shirt in Basic or AIT. gently caress those stupid money holes. Worst is that we let some private loving company take hour and half of our 6hour sleep time to market their jackoff knives and cum-collector "soda" glasses or whatever they sold, with no option to go sleep. I got smoked in both Basic and AIT for not getting those dumb shirts. One of the DS in AIT had his wife make a design, so he saw it as an insult if we didn't get one. Still, the worst was these jackoffs during my first Iraq deployment who wanted to sell AR-15 engraving with our unit crest and deployment dates, about 2k a pop. And it was a coincidence that our CSM had the same last name as the 'company' making this incredible offer. I have a 3BCT shirt after we were informed that leaders should motivate their Soldiers to get one and that staff should have one for staff PT.
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Apr 26, 2017 01:28
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McNally posted:lol if you think "F U" isn't a primary component in ARMY I only now see that. I am filled with shame.
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Apr 26, 2017 05:44
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Its 4:40 am. I'm stuck in Qatar because...well, I don't know. Waiting on a flight to Afghanistan that may never arrive. The only thing on TV is Fox News. "Hoo-Ah!" is the sound a soul makes as it escapes the battered shell of a Soldier. Where is my green wienie name tag mods?
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Apr 29, 2017 02:42
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Sorry for the absence, been busy getting up to speed in my new job. So, in case anyone didn't know, Kandahar is kinda depressing. Since the drawdown a lot of the businesses have up and left, their trailers and shacks taken down, so walking anywhere will most likely lead to you crossing big swathes of concrete pads where stores and poo poo used to be. The Boardwalk, if anyone remembers, only has about four or five businesses left. It's like a weird, still-lived-in version of one of those 'reclaimed by nature' docs. Also, there's a picture of a Terminator-Bear near the airfield that I'll take a snapshot of when I get the chance. All in all, it's...well, it's not bad. I've been to a lot worse.
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May 9, 2017 16:43
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Icon Of Sin posted:Can you still taste the air when you breathe? Not as bad as Iraq was, but yes. psydude posted:All I know is that every since I went over there my nose is running constantly. For the past couple of days it feels like someone punched me in the face, and the fist never left. Holy gently caress I hate allergies if these are allergies, now I know why my wife was so cranky.
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May 10, 2017 17:07
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I'm from Kansas. I retire in a few years, if I don't get green weeneie'd. Where's a good place to go? I got into the Army to get the gently caress out of Kansas, and now I have options and I don't know what to do.
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May 16, 2017 16:59
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Kaliber posted:I usually just borrowed my POG buddy's m9 and tell my 1SG I had that in a holster whenever he came back to give me a stern talking to (He didn't really care either. He thought it was dumb too) Most of the dumb poo poo can just be considered a train of CYOA decisions.
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Jul 17, 2017 23:35
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This is gonna get real interesting for a lot of folks. SHARP, EO, Retention, Legal, Personnel... He basically said 'you're fired' to a few thousand servicemembers. Sure, small number overall, but there's bound to be some issues.
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Jul 26, 2017 16:11
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Vahakyla posted:The Status of Forces Agreement in Italy is probably 99% italian written. During our Kosovo deployment we started off with a German general as the NATO commander. Briefings were weekly, in English (Because NATO countries usually speak English as their second language) and uaully took about an hour, two if something dumb happened. Then he rotated out and was replaced with an Italian general. All briefings were now in Italian with the Italians handling the translations of the slide deck (which were google translate quality), and often to three hours plus. He also called an engineer unit back out to a work site they finished before time because he wanted a photo Op. We're used to Army Dumb, but the Italians have that poo poo to a whole new level.
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Jul 28, 2017 20:24
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Soulex posted:
Toxic leadership can make even the best assignments a goddamn nightmare to endure, and most of the time it comes from the numbers game. If you are the commander/1SG who can show you had the most active station on your review, then the review board doesn't give a gently caress what it did to your soldiers. You accomplished X, and that is what matters. Had to deal with Y suicides because of it? Eh, suicide happens, can't catch them all. It's a problem across the Army because Toxic leaders are just that, leaders. They keep being put in charge, so those underneath them think that it's what the Army wants, and they become toxic.
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Oct 1, 2017 13:23
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Vahakyla has the right idea. Get in all of Vicenza now while he can before there's a change at BDE that turns it all to poo poo. Then he still has Germany/Austria/France to visit to keep himself sane and far away from the silliness.
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Oct 21, 2017 20:37
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Sorry, Mustang. Been in that poo poo before back in my early years. The Army tends to do it as a habit, sad to say. The largest problem is when senior NCOs and officers start their 'back in my day' mentality. They think that the Army has gone soft and that the only way to fix it is to drag people through the suck for no reason other than 'suck it up'. Times change. Culture changes. The Army is not immune to that, and forcing units to go through LFX for the third or fourth long weekend in a row isn't going to change it either. I dont know where the idea of 'work your officers to 2000 every day to toughen them up' came from, but all I've seen it do is drive decent people out of the force and leave in the people who know how to skate the system and get friendly with the higher-ups.
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Nov 2, 2017 18:06
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Got an rear end-chewing today because we got bad info on a meeting. Even worse, a new Cpt. In my shop ended up getting a worse rear end-chewing for my fuckup. I hate that poo poo, and now I feel like a scumbag because of it. I want to vent but I'd probably get identified. The Army defies logic.
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Nov 2, 2017 20:29
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Viva Miriya posted:This is me being super super honest here but this is how I've gotten it figured. 14 year NCO here, gonna give you some advice: A moth to a flame loving dies. I get it, you want that grunt poo poo. You want to kick in doors and shoot people for freedom. You want to lay the scunion on some loving assholes who bomb kids and plot attacks on innocent people. You want to serve. I swear to you upon my rank that you won't do that. You'll go through weeks upon weeks of exercises. You'll feel cold and wet that you could not imagine for longer than should be possible. It will suck, and when you finally go to Afghanistan and get to do that grunt poo poo, it will be teaching security forces or posting guard. I can tell you are motivated, and that is some great poo poo. We need motivated troops to keep this machine running. But unless you've embraced the suck, and all that it entails, it will break you. You will, at best, end up with an alcohol problem, a list of risk-increasing behavior, or a body so broken you will be considered useless by your command. Or multiple. Or all three. If you want to be a hero, join a police force or fire station or EMT. Save lives, affect change in your community, and enjoy not waking up in pain after 3 hours of sleep. If you want to help another country, join the Peace Corps or USAID. Get educated. If you really, truly want to be a Soldier, then you best be ready for all the not hero poo poo you will do. Details. Mandatory fun. Weekend inspections. Duty. All of the crap that comes with it. And honestly, from what I read, you aren't ready for it. Your idea of the Infantry and what I have seen are wildly different. Besides, Afghanistan is becoming an SFAB mission and grunt work will be mostly ANA, with support from US forces. So don't expect that. If you still want in, fine. But we all warned you. See you in the field.
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Nov 15, 2017 22:24
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Zeris posted:I don't understand, why is the army allowing you, a PFC, to have fun? Is someone screaming at you from off-camera? Regardless of T.O., all military bureaucracies consist of a Surprise Party Department, a Practical Joke Department, and a Fairy Godmother Department. The last of these being an elderly GS-15 with a nice little office in the pentagon. Most matters are dealt with by the first two departments, but every once in a while the Fairy Godmother will put down her knitting, shuffle through her paperwork and waive her wand over one special Soldier. Today was my day. The first chapter of Glory Road is basically Robert Heinlein posting for this thread.
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Nov 18, 2017 16:04
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Kosovo mission: German troops gave no fucks and were super chill. Got to do a ride-along with one of their border patrols in the fall, meeting with locals and looking for illegal woodcutters. Awesome dudes. French enlisted were chill, French officers/senior enlisted were torture to work with. No, you can't use the emergency exit to bring the case of water to your office because it is closer, and we can't turn off the alarm now thank you. Swiss made fun of us for not being able to drink. Moroccans threw parties for every occasion. Food was always delicious. Super nice to work with, and really well trained in riot ops. Ukrainians gave no fucks, got wasted on the regular. Still the hardest working engineers ever, and would regularly get tasks done far above schedule. Also they cleared roadblocks with BMPs. Seeing a car do a flip because it just got hit with an APC is great. Turkish Army got shot done and went home. Greeks got mad we didn't refer to Macedonia as 'former yugoslav republic of Macedonia', and did little else. Kosovo security forces made up of young kids and these grizzled Yugoslav vets who fought in the war. Love Bill Clinton, had awesome stories. Danish were chill, did the DANCON. Hated it, got the shirt.
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Nov 19, 2017 02:20
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Soulex posted:I was asked to make an "Go Army/Beat Navy" video for I Corps and told them I would up until they liked my idea, and then made me remove 20 seconds out of a 30 second commercial so that the CG could say his name and "Go Army!" I ended up saying no. You get to say no? I've been told, straight-faced, that I had to do things like redecorating bde hq to developing posters to making marketing flyers for 'deployment prints' because I know about pictures. The duck you mean that isn't your MOS and you don't know how to do it, just get it loving done. I just do the poo poo to keep people quiet at this point.
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Dec 5, 2017 20:52
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Mustang posted:VBS3 simulators are such a cluster gently caress. “This resource just sits around unused all the time!”. Well no poo poo, it just crashes constantly. The only thing I’ve seen it reliably do is run crew through simulated gunnery. Anything else is a complete poo poo show. VBS is some fraud, waste and abuse poo poo right there. They've spent so much money paying for essentially an ARMA mod with poo poo controls. Honestly, you could probably use PUBG, run a test server environment, then spend a fraction building some small maps with some buildings and some auto-run preprogrammed AI for civilians/combatants. And it'd be better than the poo poo-show that is VBS. Funny VBS story: We did the land-nav course in VBS. Once I was done finding the points, I went back to the opening area and found out you could open the portajohn doors. We had some fun opening doors, then I went prone and closed a door. Killed my avatar. On a range with no weapons and no surface steep enough to cover fall damage. Pay me Army.
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Dec 7, 2017 18:43
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Soulex posted:All PAO are dumbasses.  Pretty much. Then again, it says in the article they got their information from Yonhap, so the PAO probably didn't speak Korean to overhear a KATUSA talking out his rear end. Then again, KATUSA PAO probably didn't care, either.
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Dec 27, 2017 15:39
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I've just been feeling fuckin' tired lately. Got a new boss, but he's an Infantry turned PA, so his level of hooah is insane. And he never knows how to say no, so every good idea fairy that flits through the door, he goes chasing after. Honestly, there's days where I want to just loving leave. Get fat and get a chapter, fail a PT test. Slap this rear end in a top hat across the mouth and tell him to shut the gently caress up. I only have 5 years left before I get retirement, and yet I don't know if I should keep going. I'll be heading off to SLC soon, which isn't bad, but...well, poo poo. I still have a few months left here before I head over to my next assignment.
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Aug 31, 2018 02:31
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Mr_Ruckus posted:Those are for the TOC, not the soldier. You guys got cots. Last time I went out to the field, our Ops SGM forbade any sort of tent, lean-to, shelter half or poncho covering because it wasn't 'tactical' enough. Sleep on the ground, in your sleeping bag. Then it rained, and he allowed them but they had to be completely torn down the next morning and packed away, in case 'we had to move quickly'. And people wonder why vets getting out have such a dim view of the Army, or why social media is constantly laughing at their dumb poo poo...
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Sep 28, 2018 13:10
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Out in Estonia the tankers gave us some interesting advice: yeah, sure, the turret is warm. But set up a little tent on the back of the tank, right above the engines, and you're set. And there's enough room for more than one person. We also learned camo techniques from those guys. They could make a BMP practically disappear into the woodline, it was like some sort of nature magic and it freaked out our scouts to no end.
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Sep 28, 2018 17:51
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Mustang posted:Can someone explain to me why working through a 4 day to get our OR rating back up is so important it can't wait until Tuesday. Field-Grade Officer dick-wiggling, my friend. If you think that combat brigade commanders are more focused on things like 'ensuring we don't top the list in suicides' or 'Making sure people are rested enough to not face acute depression at another training exercise' instead of making sure they can be the ones who can tell the other FGOs 'Well, MY stats are better, suck it!'...then, well, I don't know how long you've been in. This poo poo has only gotten worse as the war has dragged on and overseas training exercises have ramped up to fill the void of grunt poo poo we feel necessary to fill for some reason, also because the 'Up or Out' system drives commanders to continue to press for numbers over Soldier well-being.
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Oct 4, 2018 02:36
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Vasudus posted:Any company worth a drat will tell you all sorts of stories of this exact type if you ask about work-life balance and vehemently defend themselves about it. A bad company will either dismiss the concept entirely or give a bullshit cop-out answer. We aren't a company, we're the world's premier fighting force! They only get the ability to have lives because we stand ready to defend them! Suck it up, it's going to be ten times as worse when we go to Afghanistan/Iraq/Syria/Kosovo/Ukraine/South Africa! Hmmm.......
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Oct 4, 2018 14:14
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Mustang posted:Mission accomplished. Got our 4 day back. We give you a lot of poo poo in this thread, but you're a drat hero for this. Good job, man.
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Oct 4, 2018 17:51
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Wasabi the J posted:Y'all ready for .mil sites to get hosed up? I do not wish to be S6 when this happens. Good lord the rage coming from the head shed when their NIPR 'stops working'.
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Oct 16, 2018 00:27
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