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Lurdiak
Feb 25, 2006



Kharn_The_Betrayer posted:

I read all your posts with the voice of charles dance

EDIT: exept lurdiak: i read his post like a drunken nordics fan from quebec trying to speak english

I don't drink or like the nordiques

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Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!


Mecha Gojira posted:

Why would you not read SMG's posts in a thick Slovenian accent punctuated by snorts and nose blowing?

Yeah, the initial question confuses me. It's like if someone asked what orifice everyone puts their cereal in. I just kind of assumed we were all on the same page.

BENGHAZI 2
Oct 12, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 12 hours!


Jenny Angel posted:

For the record your posting voice is very soothing and matter-of-fact

What's my posting voice

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...


BENGHAZI 2 posted:

What's my posting voice

You ever had someone loudly masturbate while making eye contact with you in a completely non sexual way? It's like that.

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006


SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT PEWDIEPIE

(This red text bought on behalf of the Save Lowtax From Crippling Medical Debt Fund.)



BENGHAZI 2 posted:

What's my posting voice

Cassidy from Preacher.

Not the TV series just how I read his voice in the GN.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

No whammy, no whammy, no whammy...

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

What's my posting voice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPxhQXoaYgo#t=50s

broken sm57
Apr 5, 2015


weekly font posted:

The final 40 of Why Don't You Play In Hell? is a high point in cinema history.

So ridiculous/fun/fantastic.

Also after seeing this, Love & Peace, and Shin Godzilla last year, Hiroki Hasegawa is rapidly becoming one of my favorite actors.

Tangentially love & peace has a hilarious punk cover of the toothpaste jingle from why don't you play in hell, if anyone is looking for more incentive to watch it:

Vincent
Nov 25, 2005

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

Embrace of the Serpent is a good movie with stunning cinematography but with a disappointing ending.

Nroo
Dec 31, 2007



Uncle Boogeyman posted:

Shameless plug crosspost from the horror thread: new episode of my horror podcast is up on SoundCloud & iTunes, we talk about The VVitch, Green Room and The Love Witch.

This is good poo poo, keep it up.
I'm really bummed that I missed The Love Witch when it was in theaters, it sounds amazing.

Kharn_The_Betrayer
Nov 15, 2013



Fun Shoe

Lurdiak posted:

I don't drink or like the nordiques

i figured... but you would be the only one who knows, aside from myself, what that sounds like.

X-Ray Pecs
May 11, 2008

New York
Ice Cream
TV
Travel
~Good Times~


Finally caught up on genchat after being too busy to post for most of break.

Last movie of 2016: Rogue One (Hate Ball is right, there are only two or three actual characters, everyone else is damp Wonderbread being pushed along)
First movie of 2017: a rewatch of The Big Lebowski. Still loving great, it's so much fun that I always ignore how well-crafted and layered it is.

Chapo Trap House rules still, and I'm excited for Boogey's new podcast episode.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

this machine kills fascists


How the gently caress did I not find out that the fabled John Sayle's Jurassic Park 4 script had hit the internet in full until today? I feel like I'm holding an internet holy grail in my hands and I want to run away from work right now to go read it.

quote:

Read this, a 2004 article where AICN's Moriarty describes a script that John Sayles' wrote for Jurassic Park 4:
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/18166

Or if you're short on time just read the money shot from it:

I want to tread lightly on what happens over the course of the rest of the film on the off chance that Mary Parent or someone at Universal is seriously going to make this thing. There’s the eight-year-old-boy side of me that thinks that a DIRTY DOZEN-style mercenary team of hyper-smart dinosaurs in body armor killing drug dealers and rescuing kidnapped children will be impossible to resist. And then there’s the side of me that says... WHAT THE gently caress ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! Nick is put in charge of training these five dinosaurs, X1 through X5, and the first thing he does is name them. “Any soldier worth his pay has a name to answer to, not a number,” he says. So we are introduced to Achilles, Hector, Perseus, Orestes, and Spartacus, each of them a specially created deinonychus, which is sort of like a miniature T-rex. They have super-sensitive smell and hearing, incredible strength and speed and pack-hunting instincts, and they have modified forelegs, lengthened and topped with more dextrous fingers, as well as dog DNA for increased obedience and human DNA so they can solve problems well. All of this is topped off with a drug-regulating implant that can dose them with adrenaline or serotonin as the situation demands.

And go ahead. Look at the calendar. We’re a long, long way from April 1st right now.



And now, you too can read what surely must be the greatest script never made:

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-1...VRd2prQkxB/edit

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming


Not anymore.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

this machine kills fascists


It has to be mirrored elsewhere, but if not I will figure out how to get it put up somewhere. This is something that cannot, and should not, be contained.

GonSmithe
Apr 25, 2010

Perhaps it's in the nature of television. Just waves in space.


First movie of 2017: Fences

I can see where some of the criticism is coming in the fact that it feels like a Broadway show put on screen. Denzel doesn't really put too much direction into the settings, and there aren't many memorable shots (there are definitely a couple). But the characters and translation of a fantastic play are done so well and played so expertly that I can't fault it for slightly boring direction. Denzel and Davis are absolute powerhouses in this, and these might be the best performances of their careers. It's two and a half hours long, but those two, and even the supporting cast are so magnetic with their portrayals of these broken people that the time flies by. Excellent movie.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

this machine kills fascists


The link via this reddit still works:

https://www.reddit.com/r/JurassicPa...uested_it_john/

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD
Sep 14, 2007

everything is yours


I Before E posted:

What happened here

E: nvm, also I read SMG as the PBS Idea Channel guy

Haha, that's a good one.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007

I'm a family man - I run a family business. This is my son and my partner, H.W.


Soiled Meat

GonSmithe posted:

First movie of 2017: Fences

I can see where some of the criticism is coming in the fact that it feels like a Broadway show put on screen. Denzel doesn't really put too much direction into the settings, and there aren't many memorable shots (there are definitely a couple). But the characters and translation of a fantastic play are done so well and played so expertly that I can't fault it for slightly boring direction. Denzel and Davis are absolute powerhouses in this, and these might be the best performances of their careers. It's two and a half hours long, but those two, and even the supporting cast are so magnetic with their portrayals of these broken people that the time flies by. Excellent movie.

I've got a screener that I've been sitting on watching but it'll go near the top of the queue (provided we start watching early enough)

For the record I don't give posters voices.

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...



Sweet. Now find me Gladiator 2 and Shadow Company

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013



K. Waste posted:

I would really love it if CeltPred could record some Rick-and-Morty repertoire, except between SMG posts and whoever the poor bastard it is arguing with him.

That could be arranged.

Jenny Angel
Oct 24, 2010

Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!


Lipstick Apathy

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

What's my posting voice

Matt Christman doing an angry guido voice

K. Waste
Feb 27, 2014

MORAL:
To the vector belong the spoils.


Holy poo poo, I was not expecting Dog Eat Dog to be this good off the bat. Dafoe is amazing in this.

X-Ray Pecs
May 11, 2008

New York
Ice Cream
TV
Travel
~Good Times~


What film presents y'all get for Christmas? My dad got my Better Call Saul season 2, my older sister got me The Godfather trilogy, and I bought myself bargain bin copies of The Wolf of Wall Street, It's a Wonderful Life, and motherfucking Dredd. My girlfriend, meanwhile got me a little Slowpoke plush that I'm totally bringing to work and setting next to my Hedorah and Freddy Krueger

SEX HAVER 40000
Aug 6, 2009

no doves fly here lol


Last movie: Rogue One
First movie: Swiss Army Man

It's weird going from something that's pure plot and spectacle to something that's pure character. I haven't talked enough about how Swiss Army Man is my absolute favorite movie of last year (still might make a threat about it someday) but Rogue One just sort of...exists. I think I'm finally wiped out on enormous action movies? Is this possible???

Precambrian
Apr 30, 2008



Slugworth posted:

Yeah, the initial question confuses me. It's like if someone asked what orifice everyone puts their cereal in. I just kind of assumed we were all on the same page.

Nah, Zizek already writes in a way where you can't not hear his voice, weird pauses, and coke sniffles while reading. In comparison, SMG is the stuffy academic who plays a clip of Zizek as part of his lecture, then goes back to droning on about jouissance in the Smurfs.

Although I still hear him as Richard Attenborough.

Safety Factor
Oct 31, 2009



Grimey Drawer

SEX HAVER 40000 posted:

I think I'm finally wiped out on enormous action movies? Is this possible???
Yeah, definitely, but Rogue One is pretty bland.

Lil Mama Im Sorry
Oct 14, 2012

I'M BACK AND I'M SCARIN' WHITE FOLKS

SMG voice: Fraiser
The rest of you: the Dad

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013



Gareth Edwards does some weird but unique character development stuff. It's almost entirely visual and mostly subtle but it's there and I like it. Rogue One is a lot better on a second watch.

CopywrightMMXI
Jun 1, 2011

One time a guy stole some downhill skis out of my jeep and I was so mad I punched a mailbox. I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.


X-Ray Pecs posted:

What film presents y'all get for Christmas? My dad got my Better Call Saul season 2, my older sister got me The Godfather trilogy, and I bought myself bargain bin copies of The Wolf of Wall Street, It's a Wonderful Life, and motherfucking Dredd. My girlfriend, meanwhile got me a little Slowpoke plush that I'm totally bringing to work and setting next to my Hedorah and Freddy Krueger

I got the complete run of Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High as a gift, and picked up The Nice Guys, Ghostbusters and Neighbors 2 on Boxing Day.

Jenny Angel
Oct 24, 2010

Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!


Lipstick Apathy

Lil Mama Im Sorry posted:

SMG voice: Fraiser
The rest of you: the Dad

You're a Ryan Gosling voice for me

axelblaze
Oct 18, 2006

Congratulations The One Concern!!!

You're addicted to Ivory!!

and...oh my...could you please...
oh my...



Grimey Drawer

I don't really have a mental voice for any of you. In fact putting an actual voice to it always feels off.

I hope the voice you people have for me isn't too annoying

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.

FishBulb posted:

Sweet. Now find me Gladiator 2 and Shadow Company

Gladiator 2 is available here and is very, very good. It's easily my favorite lost sequel. Dat ending.

feedmyleg fucked around with this message at Jan 3, 2017 around 20:31

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...


feedmyleg posted:

Gladiator 2 is here and very, very good. It's easily my favorite lost sequel. Dat ending.

I read it awhile back but couldn't find my PDF. Thanks.

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Lil Mama Im Sorry posted:

SMG voice: Fraiser
The rest of you: the Dad

But how do you know how my voice sounds?

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

glam rock hamhock posted:

I hope the voice you people have for me isn't too annoying

Hat Thoughts
Jul 27, 2012


I can't really do voices in my head so u all just sound like my thoughts.

E: removed "^_^" emote at end of sentence because it felt a little too unsettling to me

Hat Thoughts fucked around with this message at Jan 3, 2017 around 20:39

BENGHAZI 2
Oct 12, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 12 hours!


Jenny Angel posted:

Matt Christman doing an angry guido voice

At first i got mad but this is good

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

"Why yes, this is a tie with dollar signs on it.

Jealous?"

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:

Haha, that's a good one.

Here's an idea: what if the Star Wars prequels... are actually good?

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!


I hear Hbomberguy's posts in the voice of that British dude on youtube who does videos about videogames and/or the alt-right.


Not sure why.

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LORD OF BOOTY
Feb 11, 2015

THEY MAKE SURE YOU AIN'T BOOTY!!!


Toebone posted:

Everyone is their avatar, thus SMG's voice is that of Richard Attenborough with a wiggly blue dong on his head.

... does everyone read my posts in the voice of all three members of The New Day shouting in unison

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