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Jun 2, 2016

I'm in.

Please be gentle, it's my first time.


Jun 2, 2016

literally have to work all weekend because my experiment somewhat worked. That, and some e/n poo poo is loving up my creative capacity right now.

won't be able to do it :smith:. I promise I'll submit my first entry on time next time.

Jun 2, 2016

I'm in. with food.

Jun 2, 2016

Jericoh Juice
858 words

The school year was rapidly approaching and Miranda had not gotten a new backpack yet. 

"Dad I need a new backpack."

"But the one you have is perfectly good! And Elsa is on it!"

"But I want Moana! And it needs to have motion activated lights and sparkles and-"

"How about you check your savings? If you have enough you can buy whatever your little heart desires. Except drugs. No drugs."

“Dad, I’m 10.”

“Some 10 year olds do drugs!”

“Whatever!” Miranda rolled her eyes and trudged back up to her room.

“Hey, I mean it! Don’t do drugs!” Her dad yelled up the stairs.

Miranda slammed the door to her room and dumped the contents of her piggy bank on the desk. Meh. $10.76 and a few paper clips and lint balls that her 3-year-old brother contributed. She counted the change three times, hoping to find a few more extra cents. How could she turn 10 dollars into the 100 or so she'd need to be the hottest poo poo at middle school? Miranda ruffled her hair in frustration, scoffed and got ready for bed. 

The next morning, Miranda woke to the banging of pans as her Dad prepared breakfast downstairs. She sleepily made her way down and sulked at the kitchen counter.

“What’s wrong honey?”

“Life! It’s SO hard!”

“Oh~woe is me! I’m living so rough! My dad fully provides for me and gives me food, shelter and love! But life is so hard!” Her dad teased, draping a dish towel over his head and interlocking his fingers in a praying pose. “How will I ever afford the luxury of glitter?”

“Daaaaad. Stooop.”  

"Hey I got an idea.” Her dad pulled the towel off his head and started washing the dishes. “How about you do a lemonade stand? That way you can learn a thing or two about money and how hard it really is to make it."

"Dad, have you seen how expensive lemons are?"

"When I was your age, this lemonade stand video game was really popular. You could rip people off by diluting the recipe and adjusting the ratio of ingredients to maximize profit."

"But this is real life, not some retro video game!"

"Have you even SEEN Whole Foods? People pay top dollar for watermelon juice! Coconut water! Fermented random cultures in a bottle! All it takes is the right marketing and audience and you can sell almost anything."

“Whatever.” Miranda sighed and leafed through the local grocery flyer. After about 5 minutes, she scrambled upstairs and came back down with her backpack and a sweater. 

"Dad, I'm stepping out to the bulk store!"


An hour later, Miranda returned and had set up large pots filled with water in the garage. She began pouring bags and bags of sugar and lentils into the pots. A large grin on her face appeared as she created a sign for her concession stand. 

‘Jericho Juice, $3. Drink the secret concoction of the ancients!’

"What you do?" A tiny voice said.

"Making plans to make money, Teddy." Miranda was too engrossed in her work to look up at her kid brother.


"Because I want to make money."
"How you make money?"

"By selling rich hipsters some concoction I am making with lentils"


"Because lentils are cheap and healthy and dad said I can rip people off this way and it's how to make ripping people off."


"Because that's the education he got when he was my age. Some sort of game that was a life lesson. Only lemonade won't work now because of those crazy automated soda machines where you can pick like a million different flavors all in one and…and I need a niche."


"Because I looked on Wikipedia and it said that Jesus probably ate lentils and now I'm gonna benefit."

"Oh ok. Does it taste like candy?"

"The whole point is to make this thing taste awful and refreshing. Because tasting bad means it's healthy. Like carrots. And celery. They taste like dirt and garbage and people love drinking juice with them in it. So no, it doesn’t taste like candy. Do you want to try a tiny bit?”


Miranda skimmed off some water from the soaked lentils and handed a spoonful to her eager brother.

“This tastes like sandbox.” Teddy stuck his tongue out and scraped his fingers against it. “Eugh!”



“Oh you’re very lucky! You’ve got the last cup!” Miranda doled out the last serving of Jericho Juice to a man in a black beanie and skinny jeans.

“Oh man I feel so woke after this!” He exclaimed. “I can totes feel the healthy.”


“Where have you been young lady?”

“I took your advice dad. I made my own version of the lemonade stand and made $150 bucks.”


“Yeah, I bought these lentils…and soaked them in water…and added sugar…and sold the water for $3 a cup!”

“You did what?! You do know that lentils are toxic when they’re undercooked, right?”

“It’s ok dad, I’m doing the community a service. The only people that bought my drink were dirty annoying hipsters anyways.”

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