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I recognize that I'm a man from a different era but I'm appalled at the lack of availability of shoehorns in the modern shops. Have we as a society simply evolved past the need for the shoehorn? Has the artisanal hipster millenials eschewed the shoehorn in favor of the more fashionable tying your laces every time you put your shoes on? Is velcro coming back? These sorts of questions keep me up at night, perhaps I should start a sort of shoehorn revival movement. |
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Jan 8, 2017 20:38
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 02:08 |
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I have a shoehorn, its the only way not to damage nice dress shoes
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Jan 8, 2017 21:11
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The shoehorn? You mean the prostate horn? 
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Jan 8, 2017 21:22
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On the vast plains of the Serengeti, when the Monsoon rains have come and gone and the land is rich and fertile with new growth, it becomes mating season for the fierce and mighty shoe. It is at this time that the shoe will grow a new horn to fend off rivals for it's mate. It is alas, also during this time when hunting season begins and the shoe is killed for it's carcass to wear upon our feet and also for it's prized horn, so that we can use it to pry it's dead body on because society mandates that we don fashionable footwear. It is a rite of passage for modern man to go out and hunt his own shoes for their horns. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jan 8, 2017 22:16
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Jan 8, 2017 22:19
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Splatmaster posted:On the vast plains of the Serengeti, when the Monsoon rains have come and gone and the land is rich and fertile with new growth, it becomes mating season for the fierce and mighty shoe. It is at this time that the shoe will grow a new horn to fend off rivals for it's mate. It is alas, also during this time when hunting season begins and the shoe is killed for it's carcass to wear upon our feet and also for it's prized horn, so that we can use it to pry it's dead body on because society mandates that we don fashionable footwear. |
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Jan 8, 2017 22:26
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Splatmaster posted:On the vast plains of the Serengeti, when the Monsoon rains have come and gone and the land is rich and fertile with new growth, it becomes mating season for the fierce and mighty shoe. It is at this time that the shoe will grow a new horn to fend off rivals for it's mate. It is alas, also during this time when hunting season begins and the shoe is killed for it's carcass to wear upon our feet and also for it's prized horn, so that we can use it to pry it's dead body on because society mandates that we don fashionable footwear. The black market shoehorn trade in asia is truly horrific. Thousands of shoes hunted so shoehorns can be needlessly ground up to for various dubious medical cures. |
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Jan 8, 2017 23:13
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Piso Mojado posted:I have a shoehorn, its the only way not to damage nice dress shoes |
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Jan 8, 2017 23:18
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lol |
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Jan 8, 2017 23:19
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Piso Mojado posted:I have a shoehorn, its the only way not to damage nice dress shoes |
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Jan 8, 2017 23:19
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1500quidporsche posted:The black market shoehorn trade in asia is truly horrific. Thousands of shoes hunted so shoehorns can be needlessly ground up to for various dubious medical cures. that's why when you go to a zoo none of the shoes have horns. the shoes look funny but they're useless to poachers. |
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Jan 9, 2017 00:48
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Manifisto posted:that's why when you go to a zoo none of the shoes have horns. the shoes look funny but they're useless to poachers. if your zoo has a poacher problem, get a better zoo! In re: to OP, I don't think there's anything wrong with the odd anachronistic accessory, so long as it doesn't become some expression of too-precious eccentricity. mama's baby can have a shoehorn, but mama's baby should be all about the shoehorn, dig? ---------------- |
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Jan 9, 2017 03:48
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*welcoming friends over to my housewarming party* hi hi, thanks for coming! Here hand me your coats. Does anyone need a shoehorn to get their shoes off? Cause I have one! Yup, shoehorn havin house here. Use it every day myself. Now a lot of people use plastic and some use chrome but I really think the bamboo shoehorn has the ideal balance of strength and flexibility. *friends have already gone to get a drink halfway through this, without taking their shoes off, tracking salt through the house* |
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Jan 9, 2017 04:10
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if pdq bach did not write for the shoehorn, he should have https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NT6bxlnS1Is |
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Jan 9, 2017 04:31
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i remember when i was a child and i found some old shoehorns I thought they were the feet of some ancient automaton and spent the next several hours looking for the rest of the body
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Jan 9, 2017 04:42
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I initially got a shoe horn to try and be 'hip' and 'with it' thinking to my self "What use could this really have?" But I have found the ability to honk at people with terrible walking etiquette to be really useful.
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Jan 9, 2017 06:15
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i have a shoe horn and i vote
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Jan 9, 2017 06:37
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Modern man: http://i.imgur.com/91Vw2ke.gifv
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Jan 9, 2017 07:02
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i advise also buying a hat horn. personally, i haven't gotten stuck in my beanie now for... *counts on fingers* five? five days
~sig~ |
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Jan 9, 2017 08:13
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tired of having to reach long distances to remove your shirt? "if only there were some other way!!!" well, now there is. the Shirt Horn
~sig~ |
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Jan 9, 2017 08:15
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Its a real shame I didn't find out about all this earlier, I had just used the wishes granted to me by a Djinn to get my g*sh d*rn shoes on
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Jan 9, 2017 08:22
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having a shoehorn is like still grinding up ur flour w/ a stone mill |
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Jan 9, 2017 14:49
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*stares out the window by his cubicle appearing to be lost in deep thoughts* *Turns to computer and types "While my Shoehorn gently weeps" in a blank text file and hits save* |
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Jan 9, 2017 15:15
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I have a shoehorn, but only because it has a back scratcher at the other end.
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Jan 9, 2017 17:41
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vanisher posted:Modern man: i hate that i recognized this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EZHVokj1lI |
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Jan 9, 2017 17:52
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I once lived the dream of being a proper shoehorn owner. I protected my shoes and filled them with vigor. But my time on the top was cut short. I put my shoehorns in my car so that I might live in luxury and elegance on the long journey to Taco Bell. And thus they were never seen again. Filled with shame and broken shoes I returned to my rightful place in the gutter off third street. You know, behind the library where you have some protection from the elements and that bakery sometimes dumps the stale bread. But I have seen the view from the top. And it was good.
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Jan 11, 2017 02:50
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I have and use a shoehorn and I was skeptical at first but it has improved my life. |
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Jan 11, 2017 03:10
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shoehorns are being hunted and it's a right shame because they're just so, so beautiful. why, for example take a look at this shoehorn from the serengeti i have mounted above my fireplace. look at the deep hues and the smooth curves. tell me you've seen a more beautiful shoehorn in all your life and i'll show you a liar. |
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Jan 11, 2017 03:14
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*is embarrassed because he still doesn't get how to blow into it to get a sound to come out* |
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Jan 11, 2017 04:04
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I have a shoeshine kit that my grandpa left me before he died. It just has shoeshine stuff. Maybe I'm not of the class to have a shoehorn? ---------------- |
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Jan 11, 2017 04:15
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The shoeshine kit and shoehorn have nothing to do with each other, buddy. .
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Jan 11, 2017 04:37
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the littlest prince posted:shoehorns are being hunted and it's a right shame because they're just so, so beautiful. why, for example take a look at this shoehorn from the serengeti i have mounted above my fireplace. look at the deep hues and the smooth curves. tell me you've seen a more beautiful shoehorn in all your life and i'll show you a liar. The shoe went extinct in the late 80's from over hunting thanks to demand from newly minted brokers snorting coke and buying fancy shoes during the financial boom, thanks Reagan. ---------------- |
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Jan 11, 2017 04:41
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gnarlyhotep posted:I have a shoeshine kit that my grandpa left me before he died. was there by any chance some sort of treasure map mixed in with or adjacent to the shoeshine kit? or maybe some mysterious coded symbols engraved in the wood of the shine box? the shoehorn is out there, if you have the wit, wisdom, and bravery to claim it |
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Jan 11, 2017 04:55
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I have upgraded to the shoe blunderbuss
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Jan 11, 2017 07:25
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I have upgraded to the shoe blunderbuss my shoe cannon elegantly fires shoes perfectly onto my feet up to a mile away
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Jan 11, 2017 10:31
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What is the evolutionary significance of the shoehorn? De-horned shoes live perfectly normal lives in captivity but there must have been some use for the shoehorn in the wild. |
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Jan 11, 2017 15:26
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North Korea is preparing to launch it's first ICBH (Inter-Continental Ballistic Shoehorn) in a show of force that demonstrates Kim Jong Un's desire to "weaponize anything and everything we can, including shoe horns!"
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jan 11, 2017 15:46
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Manifisto posted:was there by any chance some sort of treasure map mixed in with or adjacent to the shoeshine kit? or maybe some mysterious coded symbols engraved in the wood of the shine box? No, just a plain wooden shoeshine box. I took a pic of it for you 
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Jan 15, 2017 01:30
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I stuck my shoehorn inside a very deep shoe and now I can't get it out. Any ideas?
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Jan 15, 2017 04:06
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 02:08 |
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Plebian Parasite posted:I stuck my shoehorn inside a very deep shoe and now I can't get it out. Any ideas? Shoe horn... horn
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Jan 15, 2017 21:44
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