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micron posted:Does anyone suffer from hyperarousal ptsd. I never knew it was a thing and I’m beginning to think I should be checked out. I’ve had two combat related incidents, but none that affected me “physically”. I can elaborate if needed. Just to update and maybe help someone else in the same shoes. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and hyper vigilance from the VA. I’ve been prescribed Zoloft and working through it. I’ve always thought my extreme work ethic and perfectionism would be a positive trait. I’m now realizing the toll it’s taking on me and the family. I’ve slept around 4 hours a night for the past 25 years. When I can’t sleep I think of “poo poo” and just open the laptop and start working. Take care of your body and mind. Youre more useful alive making money then dead from a heart attack. Stop and smell the flowers.
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Dec 27, 2024 00:23
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| # ? Jul 16, 2025 05:55 |
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My dad died almost a year ago. Today, January 2nd, was the start of his hospitalizations from dementia/Alzheimers that led to his death on January 23rd. It was just me and my mom juggling it all. My stupid, useless loving older siblings offered almost no help during those days, the worst of it. The last week was him on a 2mg dilaudid drip with PRN 4mg Ativan for sedation. Just to help him pass. Only then did one of the two of them step up. I don’t know what the gently caress to do.
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Jan 3, 2025 05:50
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I really want to remember him as the man he was, but all I’m stuck with is the loving wretched memories of his last days/months on this poo poo earth.
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Jan 3, 2025 05:56
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windshipper posted:I really want to remember him as the man he was, but all I’m stuck with is the loving wretched memories of his last days/months on this poo poo earth. Try twisting that into him being a good enough influence on you, that you'd willingly go through that poo poo once again, just to keep him from suffering a second more than he had to. I've been through...far too many deaths in the last four years, and the fact that this still hits you so hard is a loving good thing. You never want to hear yourself casually go "you get used to it after a few."
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Jan 3, 2025 06:04
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windshipper posted:I really want to remember him as the man he was, but all I’m stuck with is the loving wretched memories of his last days/months on this poo poo earth. It's been five years but my wife is still struggling with this; the only thing that helps is mentally subdividing the person her mom was before dementia from the person she was obliged to care for that inherited the same body. It's weird and cold at times with how distancing it is, but it does work.
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Jan 3, 2025 06:07
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SerthVarnee posted:Try twisting that into him being a good enough influence on you, that you'd willingly go through that poo poo once again, just to keep him from suffering a second more than he had to. I’ve been around so much death. I’ve been a FF/EMT for 12 years. I BVM’d a woman the last 5-10 minutes of the ambulance ride from the hospital to the retirement facility because she still had a pulse and O2 is a comfort measure. poo poo just hits different. I wouldn’t change what I did for him, but I still have so much anger that it was just on me and my mom. I have two older siblings.
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Jan 3, 2025 06:34
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I just went to my first Refuge Recovery meeting online. I don't have any substance abuse issues (stolen valor lol), I really just wanted a buddhist meditation group, and it was very nice. The focus of the meditation was forgiveness: forgiving others who hurt you, asking for forgiveness from others you hurt, and forgiving yourself for hurting yourself. There's like 100 different available online meetings every week, may be worth checking out for anyone with substance issues. https://www.refugerecovery.org/about https://refugerecoverymeetings.org/meetings?tsml-day=any
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Feb 8, 2025 06:09
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| # ? Jul 16, 2025 05:55 |
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blanked. resolved.
Solitaire6 fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Mar 27, 2025 |
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Mar 23, 2025 01:58
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