Civilization 2 plus dinosaurs minus competence: Let's Gond

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Civilization 2 plus dinosaurs minus competence: Let's Gond

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Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

NewMars posted:

So I figured out what the trading area icon is: It's an Ankylosaurus talking to some kind of raptor I think, with a fallen tree with stuff on it between them, being used as a makeshift market stall.

Thank you very much, I will close this thread within the hour as its purpose has been served and the witch's curse upon my eyes has been broken. .

Glazius posted:

This is kind of a ridiculous tech bounty. Does the AI just not know how to go after goodies?

It's more likely it knows how but it isn't very good at that because the AI in Civ 2 is very bad at a lot of things including basically every facet of gameplay except for cheating, which it relies on heavily. The difficulty level probably isn't doing it any favors either; even if it never gets smarter than a rock on higher settings it'd at least be a rock with a much larger army of roving bozos to potentially bump into them with.

# ? Jan 22, 2017 07:39

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 23:56

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Right, so, what we've been doing is important. VERY important. I cannot overstate this. But nonetheless, we must put it on hold for a bit - just a bit! It's not even a full bite! - to answer some extremely pressing questions before they actually physically squish us.

BONUS UPDATE 1: Okay What Does Gond Actually Mean Seriously

Like most stories this one absolutely does not begin in the Victorian era but that is where we'll start anyways.

^{Did you know that cameras used to make your eyes look lazy? It could be true!}

Once upon there was a man. A man with a beard. A man who loved rocks a lot. A whole damned lot. His name was Henry Benedict Medlicott, believe it or not, and he loved rocks so much he went to India to see some exciting new ones, and there he hosed around considerably until 1872, when he noticed some rocks that didn't quite seem to fit into the older, Cambrian-ish stone of the Vindhyan supergroup. Well, this younger Permian-oid to Triassic-or-so stone needed a name, which Medlicott suggested be 'Gondwana.'

^{Actually he was completely wrong about how this all worked but let's leave that aside for the moment}

A dozen or so years after that, some other guy called Edward Suess popped up and noted that this funny little kind of seed fern called Glossopteris was found throughout the Permian stone of Africa, South America, and India. He figured they were all wedged together at some point, and called the hypothetical southern supercontinent 'Gondwanaland,' likely because everyone had already realized that 'Gondwana' was a very satisfying word to say and should be said as often as possible in as many ways as possible.

^{The picture on the left is the only image here that isn't rubber-stamped fifty times over with giant PUBLIC DOMAIN labels so have a nice citation}

But all of that doesn't matter that much because the actual, factual origin of the term 'Gond' - and henceforth, Gondwana, and so on, Gondwanaland - is the Gond (or Gondi) people of India. Unlike our own Gonds, you may notice a distinct lack of scales, feathers, a diapsid skull, or the ability to weigh multiple tons.
Do not confuse the two. It would be confusing.

Drakyn fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Jan 26, 2017

# ? Jan 24, 2017 00:38

Cosmic Afro: May 23, 2011

This is not something I know about much! Thanks you for the information!

# ? Jan 24, 2017 00:42

Hello Sailor: May 3, 2006; we're all mad here

Drakyn posted:

(or Gondi)

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jan 24, 2017 01:11

BaconCopter: Feb 13, 2008

I'm gonda have to keep up with one of the best LPs ever.

# ? Jan 25, 2017 22:40

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Hello Sailor posted:

I JUST told you not to confuse them!

Drakyn posted:

Do not confuse the two. It would be confusing.

^Right there! I did that! Now we're talking about Gandhi when we were talking about the Gonds when we were talking about Gond! One more loopy link in this chain of madness and who KNOWS what'll happen?

All is not lost yet. We still have a chance. I, personally, am spending that chance on additional Gond which I shall generously share with you.

Update 6: Gond Baby Gond

Drakyn fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Jan 26, 2017

# ? Jan 26, 2017 00:04

Glazius: Jul 22, 2007; Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.; Clapping Larry

Is the arms race an actual race to develop arms?

If not, what even is the point?

# ? Jan 26, 2017 03:23

nweismuller: Oct 11, 2012; They say that he who dies with the most Opil wins.

I am winning.

Glazius posted:

Is the arms race an actual race to develop arms?

If not, what even is the point?

It's an attempt by tyrannosaurs to run on their hands. It always ends poorly.

# ? Jan 26, 2017 03:26

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Until just recently, I had assumed that Gond was a particularly barbarous lizard nation, it's denizens rolling around in the mud, murdering each other, and furiously trying to research Bony Knobs or some such primitive nonsense with their feeble reptile brains.

It is not without some alarm that I have come to realize that Gond's neighbors are even worse than Gond in all these respects. I fear for this world and I fear for the brave idiots of Gond.

# ? Jan 26, 2017 18:35

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

Cathode Raymond posted:

It is not without some alarm that I have come to realize that Gond's neighbors are even worse than Gond in all these respects. I fear for this world and I fear for the brave idiots of Gond.

Gond will overcome.

Also, why are all the recent updates on lpix? :confused:

# ? Jan 26, 2017 21:52

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Glazius posted:

Is the arms race an actual race to develop arms?

If not, what even is the point?

nweismuller posted:

It's an attempt by tyrannosaurs to run on their hands. It always ends poorly.

Historically, the pan-Mesozoic Arms Race was called off shortly after its inception because Deinocheirus won every time.

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

Gond will overcome.

Also, why are all the recent updates on lpix?

Space. Specifically, an attempt at saving it. There's five updates on the first page, each with somewhere around thirtish images, and after the first two I decided I didn't want to make scrolling through everything too irritating (the Bonus update is an exception, as it only has six images). If this is a stupid and unnecessary precaution please let me know as I am incapable of learning anything unaided.

# ? Jan 26, 2017 23:44

TooMuchAbstraction: Oct 14, 2012; I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.; Fun Shoe

Drakyn posted:

Space. Specifically, an attempt at saving it. There's five updates on the first page, each with somewhere around thirtish images, and after the first two I decided I didn't want to make scrolling through everything too irritating (the Bonus update is an exception, as it only has six images). If this is a stupid and unnecessary precaution please let me know as I am incapable of learning anything unaided.

It's nontraditional in that most screenshot LPs just toss everything into the page and gently caress you if you don't like scrolling. But honestly it's fine. The only thing I'd say is that it'd be good if the posts that have updates in them had a banner or something to help call attention to them.

# ? Jan 26, 2017 23:47

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

It's nontraditional in that most screenshot LPs just toss everything into the page and gently caress you if you don't like scrolling. But honestly it's fine. The only thing I'd say is that it'd be good if the posts that have updates in them had a banner or something to help call attention to them.

I have taken your advice and you may never have it back. Thank you.

# ? Jan 26, 2017 23:57

nweismuller: Oct 11, 2012; They say that he who dies with the most Opil wins.

I am winning.

I have a question: what government type in standard Civ2 is Cooperation equivalent to? Are there other dinosaur governments in the crazy land that is Gond?

# ? Jan 27, 2017 06:22

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

nweismuller posted:

I have a question: what government type in standard Civ2 is Cooperation equivalent to? Are there other dinosaur governments in the crazy land that is Gond?

There are only three governments in dino.scn: Despotism, which, just like in regular civ 2, is inefficient and wasteful and what you start with (ruling as Rex or Regis); Cooperation, which is civ 2 Communism for dinosaurs (with you as Citizen); and Anarchy which is the state of paralysis you get while you're switching to Cooperation from Despotism (with you as Lizard/Lizardess).
Monarchy, Fundamentalism, the Republic, and Democracy do not exist because they are too unreliable too abstract too complicated and too reliant on mass media. Retrospectively. Dinosaur governments are conceptually limited.
But Gond? Gond knows no limits. It dares.

Update 7: The Gond Show

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:01

nweismuller: Oct 11, 2012; They say that he who dies with the most Opil wins.

I am winning.

I'm also curious if there's any place to *find* the Gond scenario. I've done some searching, but no luck.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:52

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

nweismuller posted:

I'm also curious if there's any place to *find* the Gond scenario. I've done some searching, but no luck.

It's from the Fantastic Worlds expansion.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 01:54

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

It can't be that fantastic of a world if they haven't researched Dung Removal yet, just sayin'.

# ? Jan 29, 2017 03:44

Prism: Dec 22, 2007; yospos

Cathode Raymond posted:

It can't be that fantastic of a world if they haven't researched Dung Removal yet, just sayin'.

A turn is millions of years. It removes itself.

# ? Jan 29, 2017 04:20

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Prism posted:

A turn is millions of years. It removes itself.

Exactly 1 million years per turn, to be precise. Gond may still be working on Dung Removal but it's apparently had atomic clocks since day 1.

Speaking of clocks, stop yours because it's that time again.

Update 8: Gondorrhea

# ? Jan 30, 2017 02:02

nweismuller: Oct 11, 2012; They say that he who dies with the most Opil wins.

I am winning.

I suppose 'foraging' and 'capitalism' are pretty similar if you have a brain the size of a walnut.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 02:13

Glazius: Jul 22, 2007; Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.; Clapping Larry

It's kind of hilarious that the guys who got mauled by barbarians were themselves able enough to maul two entire civs in return

# ? Jan 30, 2017 04:36

Wastrel_: Jun 3, 2004; Read it and weep.

Diplodocus as a submarine is hilarious. Even the painfully outdated hypotheses about it leading an aquatic/semi-aquatic lifestyle never envisaged that it would be able to cross oceans.

Someone should re-make this for Civ V or VI with all the updated information on dinosaurs, eg the prevalence of feathers and warm-bloodedness.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 18:11

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Wastrel_ posted:

Someone should re-make this for Civ V or VI with all the updated information on dinosaurs, eg the prevalence of feathers and warm-bloodedness.

Then make it so that your dino save can be packed in amber. Then make a mod that simulates a regular CIV game in AI-only mode until they get poo poo like cloning, and then places you at the highest tech city of the poor bastards that researched it. Then it's your mob vs. a late game tech world. The only currency you can take in diplomacy is meat, and if someone's food production is not high enough they can feed cities to you.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 18:19

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Glazius posted:

It's kind of hilarious that the guys who got mauled by barbarians were themselves able enough to maul two entire civs in return

In all fairness, those barbarian Deinonychus are nothing to sneeze, snort, or even blink at. They've still got better raw stats than anything we've got access to....as will be evident in just a moment.

SelenicMartian posted:

Wastrel_ posted:
Someone should re-make this for Civ V or VI with all the updated information on dinosaurs, eg the prevalence of feathers and warm-bloodedness.
Then make it so that your dino save can be packed in amber. Then make a mod that simulates a regular CIV game in AI-only mode until they get poo poo like cloning, and then places you at the highest tech city of the poor bastards that researched it. Then it's your mob vs. a late game tech world. The only currency you can take in diplomacy is meat, and if someone's food production is not high enough they can feed cities to you.

This is an intriguing set of ideas here, but Civ 2 was the last civ to use static 2d sprites for units. Can you imagine reskinning every unit in a modern, 3d civ? Especially now that every playable civilization has a few special units. I mean just for laughs I tried to write out a list of dinosaur replacement units for civ 5 once and it took forever; the game's just FULL of stuff.
Speaking of full of stuff, this update is full of poo poo. It has, however, been tastefully relocated for your convenience using the very latest technology.

Update 9: Gond To Seed

_{Edit: oh and i guess we increase our wonder count by 300% or whatever}

Drakyn fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Feb 1, 2017

# ? Feb 1, 2017 00:44

TooMuchAbstraction: Oct 14, 2012; I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.; Fun Shoe

"Mammal Suppression Plan" oh my goodness. :allears:

Also, I want to take a moment to recognize and appreciate the excellent World Wonder videos you've been making. This entire LP just exudes charm.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:20

Glazius: Jul 22, 2007; Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.; Clapping Larry

Yes, the World Wonder videos are amazing.

On an unrelated note: You fools! Don't poop in a hole instead of going wherever you're standing! That hole has to end somewhere! You go too far!

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:48

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

I am also skeptical of today's youth and their insistence on pooping in special places and moving poop form here to there and this way and that :colbert:

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:52

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

Glazius posted:

Yes, the World Wonder videos are amazing.

On an unrelated note: You fools! Don't poop in a hole instead of going wherever you're standing! That hole has to end somewhere! You go too far!

But Gond is hygiene!

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:54

nweismuller: Oct 11, 2012; They say that he who dies with the most Opil wins.

I am winning.

The Press Gang icon shows a line of dinosaurs with their legs tied together by a vine. It's sort of like a chain gang for creatures too stupid to have chains. "You now slaves of great Gond empire! Go now and work on big poop pile!"

"Thump hate being poop slave. Stinky hard work."

nweismuller fucked around with this message at 04:42 on Feb 1, 2017

# ? Feb 1, 2017 04:38

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

"Mammal Suppression Plan" oh my goodness.

Also, I want to take a moment to recognize and appreciate the excellent World Wonder videos you've been making. This entire LP just exudes charm.

Thank you and also everyone else very much. Initially I was worried they'd look like poo poo and then I realized actually that just made them authentic.

Glazius posted:

Yes, the World Wonder videos are amazing.

On an unrelated note: You fools! Don't poop in a hole instead of going wherever you're standing! That hole has to end somewhere! You go too far!

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

But Gond is hygiene!

Me am play Gond!

nweismuller posted:

The Press Gang icon shows a line of dinosaurs with their legs tied together by a vine. It's sort of like a chain gang for creatures too stupid to have chains. "You now slaves of great Gond empire! Go now and work on big poop pile!"

"Thump hate being poop slave. Stinky hard work."

I am continually grateful for the general effort that goes into interpreting images for my tiny walnut brain.

Drakyn fucked around with this message at 05:22 on Feb 1, 2017

# ? Feb 1, 2017 04:53

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Sympathy to our neighbours.

Update 10: Gondolences

# ? Feb 3, 2017 00:09

Aeromancia: Jul 23, 2013

Alright, Gond has gutters and agriculture now. But do we have Gondolas?

# ? Feb 3, 2017 00:49

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

and who will gondoleer them?

# ? Feb 3, 2017 00:50

King Doom: Dec 1, 2004; I am on the Internet.

My greatest regret is that I can only vote 5 once.

# ? Feb 3, 2017 01:59

Living Image: Apr 24, 2010; HORSE'S ASS

King Doom posted:

My greatest regret is that I can only vote 5 once.

I voted 5 for you. Glory to Gond.

# ? Feb 3, 2017 08:55

Glazius: Jul 22, 2007; Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.; Clapping Larry

Build a Supermarket? Did they forget to rename those or just the technology description?

# ? Feb 4, 2017 01:04

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Glazius posted:

Build a Supermarket? Did they forget to rename those or just the technology description?

The Agriculture tech's tooltip was overlooked in the scenario's editing process. dino.scn lacks, among other things: ~~supermarkets~~, courthouses, cathedrals, universities, mass AND underground transit, manufacturing plants, recycling centers, stock exchanges, superhighways, research labs, police stations, power plants of any kind, and factories.
Also, their Mesozoic equivalents. Whatever those would've been.
Let your imaginations guide you. Please, I demand it be so.

Edit: Actually I'm an idiot. The Farmer's Market is, in fact, the Mesozoic's supermarket. The tooltip is still typo'd, but we may farm as we please.

Corrode posted:

King Doom posted:
My greatest regret is that I can only vote 5 once.

I voted 5 for you. Glory to Gond.

I can't help but notice that Gond is now gold-plated. This is soft and impractical but very shiny and I thoroughly commend you all for your initiative and boldness.
Unfortunately the next update now weighs approximately one million pounds and has crushed itself under its own weight. It will go online regardless as soon as I can find a server robust enough to withstand it.

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

Aeromancia posted:
Alright, Gond has gutters and agriculture now. But do we have Gondolas?

and who will gondoleer them?

No citizen of Gond is capable of growing facial hair. So, no.

Drakyn fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Feb 4, 2017

# ? Feb 4, 2017 02:25

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Drakyn posted:

The Agriculture tech's tooltip was overlooked in the scenario's editing process. dino.scn lacks, among other things: supermarkets, courthouses, cathedrals, universities, mass AND underground transit, manufacturing plants, recycling centers, stock exchanges, superhighways, research labs, police stations, power plants of any kind, and factories.
Also, their Mesozoic equivalents. Whatever those would've been.

So you can build farmland but you can't get supermarkets, so it's pointless?

# ? Feb 4, 2017 02:42

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 23:56

Tin Tim: Jun 4, 2012; Live by the pun - Die by the pun

lmao and

# ? Feb 4, 2017 02:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Civilization 2 plus dinosaurs minus competence: Let's Gond

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