Get em fresh! Handcrafted artisanal probations

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death sext

I am a woman of salt and earth. I work with my hands and I'm not afraid of good old fashioned hard work. I come from a long line of hard-working-salt-of-the-earthers and today I'd like to share that piece of my life with you.

You see, I'm a play-doh farmer. Everyone in my family is a play-doh farmer. Every day I work the play-doh fields in preparation for the harvest. I've got blue play-doh, I've got green play-doh, heck, I got em all.* What I also have is a power unique to farmers like me--I can bend the play-doh to my will. So please, allow me to craft you your very own play-doh probation.** It would make my grandpappy proud.

FARMER'S MARKET DAILY SPECIALS
- written requests
- picture requests (I will interpret thru play-doh a picture of your choosing)
- farmer's choice (don't know what you want? no problem)

* I don't
** I will probate you at night so as not to be a bother. If you have a specific time you'd like to be probated, pm me or put it in your post

# ? Jan 17, 2017 19:58

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 02:51

death sext

Maybe some of you city folk haven't been to a play-doh farmer's market before, and that's just fine. Let Old Man Marvin show you how it's done.

Old Man Marvin posted:

hey make a play-doh of me thanks love your work

Thank you for your kind words. Here is a sculpture of you, I hope you like it.

Marvin doesn't have a rap sheet, so instead I told him he's probated and draped a sock on his head for six seconds.

# ? Jan 17, 2017 19:58

MrWillsauce

make me a fuckin wizard but like he's punk rock as hell

# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:17

They Might Be

Oh my goodness. Playdoh praying mantis please!!

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:26

Manifisto

this sounds awesome! if you feel up to it would you make me a manifisto hand holding (gently) a birb?

parrots good but so are owls, penguins, corvids, kiwis, etc.

basically dealer's choice

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:31

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

I would like farmer's choice, please!

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https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:39

alnilam

something that's looks like or is inspired by this person please

^__________________^

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:45

Borden

Can I have a dog.gif one?

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:52

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

Play dough is bad rear end! Or so my kid tells me!

I am a strong viking!

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<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Jan 17, 2017 20:59

bean mom

i would love a dough me

dough me

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:11

death sext

MrWillsauce posted:

make me a fuckin wizard but like he's punk rock as hell

jaundiced but hdgaf

potion addiction is a beast

# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:18

MrWillsauce

hell yeah probe me right now

ps you better be at the big live stream broadcast tonight

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:29

Manifisto

death sext posted:

jaundiced but hdgaf

potion addiction is a beast

this is awexome

e: was going to correct to "awesome" but I think "awexome" is a great word and I intend to add it to my vocabulary

# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:37

Piso Mojado

alnilam posted:

something that's looks like or is inspired by this person please

^__________________^

is that from Scary Stories?

# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:39

social vegan

hi yes i'd like a fistful of farmer's choice also do you know if anyone sells churros around here

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:43

bean mom

i can get you as many churros as you can eat by thursday but only as long as you're comfortable not asking where i got them

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:56

death sext

social vegan posted:

hi yes i'd like a fistful of farmer's choice also do you know if anyone sells churros around here

do the churros need to be edible? I mean you can probably eat these churros I just wouldn't

# ? Jan 17, 2017 21:58

Manifisto

Zyla posted:

i can get you as many churros as you can eat by thursday but only as long as you're comfortable not asking where i got them

not all the churros you WANT to eat

all the churros you CAN eat

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:03

bradzilla

death sext posted:

jaundiced but hdgaf

potion addiction is a beast

I wanna see your avatar as playdough op

e: let's make it my monkey av actually

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:03

death sext

They Might Be posted:

Oh my goodness. Playdoh praying mantis please!!

the beautiful mantis in repose

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:04

Hogge Wild: by FactsAreUseless

this please

e: and probate me when ready

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:11

Hogge Wild: by FactsAreUseless

death sext posted:

Maybe some of you city folk haven't been to a play-doh farmer's market before, and that's just fine. Let Old Man Marvin show you how it's done.

Thank you for your kind words. Here is a sculpture of you, I hope you like it.

Marvin doesn't have a rap sheet, so instead I told him he's probated and draped a sock on his head for six seconds.

death sext posted:

jaundiced but hdgaf

potion addiction is a beast

ahahahaha

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:14

Fish and Chimps: mmmfff

oh my god! Play odh avatars! playdoh me please. my av is jhust a sort of blob anyway so it shouldnt be that hard

oh and probate me whenever

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:18

They Might Be

death sext posted:

the beautiful mantis in repose

Ahh! I love it!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:31

death sext

Manifisto posted:

this sounds awesome! if you feel up to it would you make me a manifisto hand holding (gently) a birb?

parrots good but so are owls, penguins, corvids, kiwis, etc.

basically dealer's choice

this bird is in a good hand

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:31

alnilam

These are awesome

Piso Mojado posted:

is that from Scary Stories?

Yes and guess what I'm not even scared :c00l:

# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:43

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Play doh bunny please!

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# ? Jan 17, 2017 22:48

death sext

Splatmaster posted:

I would like farmer's choice, please!

This reminds me of a story my pa used to tell when I was a young doh lass. There was once a young boy named Duane who used to live in the very place you do now. Every day Duane wore his hat the wrong way, until one day the Devil had enough Duane's sins and crawled up through the toilet to drag Duane down to Hell.

The Devil (read in a scary voice): For the crimes of Wearing Hats Immodestly, Playing With Nerf Guns In The House, and Grinding On The Handicap Ramp Rails At The Library Even After Being Asked Not To, I sentence you to irony

Then the Devil himself did indeed transform into a mountain. For eternity Duane must skate to the top of the mountain. When he reaches the top, the nature of the board with wheels carries him back down to the bottom.

And this, my child, is why we have outhouses.

# ? Jan 17, 2017 23:03

Manifisto

death sext posted:

this bird is in a good hand

oh man this is so great, thank you!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 23:25

social vegan

death sext posted:

this bird is in a good hand

dear god

# ? Jan 17, 2017 23:41

death sext

Manifisto posted:

oh man this is so great, thank you!

my original version had it sleeping peacefully, but that made it look like you were triumphantly presenting a bird you just killed

so

to everyone else, I have life stuff to go do so I'll catch you all on the flip side for the next round

# ? Jan 17, 2017 23:41

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

death sext posted:

This reminds me of a story my pa used to tell when I was a young doh lass. There was once a young boy named Duane who used to live in the very place you do now. Every day Duane wore his hat the wrong way, until one day the Devil had enough Duane's sins and crawled up through the toilet to drag Duane down to Hell.

The Devil (read in a scary voice): For the crimes of Wearing Hats Immodestly, Playing With Nerf Guns In The House, and Grinding On The Handicap Ramp Rails At The Library Even After Being Asked Not To, I sentence you to irony

Then the Devil himself did indeed transform into a mountain. For eternity Duane must skate to the top of the mountain. When he reaches the top, the nature of the board with wheels carries him back down to the bottom.

And this, my child, is why we have outhouses.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jan 17, 2017 23:47

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

how about a ditto op

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# ? Jan 18, 2017 00:06

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

I have never seen such mastery of play doh. Have you gone pro?

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:18

vanisher

Hit me with your best shot!

I'll take whatever probe reason you feel would look good on my rap sheet

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_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:20

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

please make a playdoh beans thank (it can be any colors and probing now is good)

someone hug the chat thread for me ok night night thank you death sext you are the real mvp

ETA: workin on my nite probes

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# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:30

POOL IS CLOSED: I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

i would like to be probated with a cat sculpture, pumpkin head optional, pleas and thank

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brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:35

BIRDCON 2017

please make a gun shooting spaghetti-os ty

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# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:54

death sext

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I have never seen such mastery of play doh. Have you gone pro?

I've had a few offers from the Toronto Torondohs and the Miami Moldables, but I prefer my quiet life making stuff for my friends

:siren:

hold on to your butts people I'm going to start making more stuff at lunch today :siren:

# ? Jan 18, 2017 15:14

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 02:51

death sext

alnilam posted:

something that's looks like or is inspired by this person please

^__________________^

THIS POST IS FOR BRAVE PEOPLE ONLY
-----------------------------------------------------------------

lives in offices, likes hugs

also selfies

# ? Jan 18, 2017 16:17

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Get em fresh! Handcrafted artisanal probations

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