AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

An Apple Watch for �1.53 including post, oh boy!

I dashed into this listing because I was sure the watch part would be amazing.

You can probably download a watch face to make your real Apple Watch look like this.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/201...2588883138.html

# ¿ Jun 17, 2018 00:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 11:47

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Tool for writing the word "gently caress" on your tyres:

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/You...2828823244.html

# ¿ Jun 29, 2018 03:19

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

What I assume to be a cultural thing I've missed:

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Clo...2828320080.html

# ¿ Jun 29, 2018 03:24

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

By popular demand posted:

Metal Gear XXI: back from retirement.

TITSCOPE

# ¿ Jul 3, 2018 13:49

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

mobby_6kl posted:

Of course it is, you could print out your shitposts and just leave them around the house or archive them for future generations.

Nothing says "archive for future generations" like a thermal printer.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2018 03:10

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

On one hand,

deoju posted:

Don't buy blue lasers. You'll blind yourself and probably others.

But on the other,

MarcusSA posted:

# ¿ Apr 25, 2020 11:10

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

1redflag posted:

I�d be worried about tripping around it and impaling myself, personally

# ¿ May 8, 2020 12:02

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Facebook Aunt posted:

Just quoting the original pic again because the "is 70 m too small" debate seems to have missed that this is a 4 bedroom house. 753 square feet is fine for a 2 bedroom place, but I don't see how it could be 4 bedrooms unless there is no livingroom at all.

Maybe the 70m is the footprint, not the total floor space?

The layout is bizarre.

# ¿ May 18, 2020 11:39

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Malloc Voidstar posted:

I get this helmet for cool dudes.

# ¿ May 21, 2020 22:02

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

The rotary tool attachments I ordered on 12th May arrived on the 26th. AliExpress Standard Shipping from China, so some stuff is moving quick.

# ¿ May 28, 2020 13:38

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Poltergeist racecar bed might be fun.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2020 01:55

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Dr Sun Try posted:

*interesting Gun Phone case"
from the same line that brought you the "probable cause backpack" and the "just shoot me sunglasses"

Don't worry about it mate, the uk is infamously super chill about handguns.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2020 00:45

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

C.M. Kruger posted:

Depending on which areas you run in, these could work wonders for your Strava personal bests

# ¿ Jun 25, 2020 03:14

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

WTF? Those things in the top left aren't building blocks.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2020 22:21

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

henpod posted:

Vintage-style picture of cats - https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000544255277.html?spm=a2g0o.cart.0.0.56ea3c00ppjwYP&mp=1

There's a Matisse print above my computer I'm bored of, I've ordered this to replace it. Thanks!

# ¿ Jul 1, 2020 21:20

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

NoneMoreNegative posted:

Nah they usually take a month or two to arrive.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2020 00:41

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

MarcusSA posted:

How do you control the laptop??

�Hey siri go to youporn.com�

You could do it with voice control in macOS Catalina. The advert showed a paralysed guy using it to organise his photos and plot a route on a map but they could equally have made an advert where a woman uses it to keep rewatching the same 10 seconds of a YouPorn clip while flicking the bean in a plastic iron lung from AliExpress.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2020 12:03

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

I signed up to Wish a couple of weeks ago and they've absolutely flooded my inbox with poo poo. Multiple emails per day.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 02:25

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

henpod posted:

I just got my first car, and naturally I want to put a ton of crap in there. What are some cool, fun and decorative things I can buy to ruin the interior? Something cool to have from the mirror, or a cool gadget, or whatever.

I don't think Hirayuki is being ambitious enough. In addition, you will need the following subtle external lighting upgrades:

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/33000992134.html

Let me assure you, mounting these flashing red and blue lights on your car is completely legal in your jurisdiction, wherever that is. Also I encourage you to watch the demonstration video if you want to see what it was like to be one of those Japanese kids who got a seizure from that Pokemon cartoon.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000329578814.html

Ensure your next police chase gets the full Action News helicopter treatment with this "angel making GBS threads blood" setup.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2020 15:52

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

LifeSunDeath posted:

Cool but you know you can get illuminated car paint now right? One youtube engineer made it into a matrix that could be used as a display on surfaces too lol.

This changes everything. Only $162,000 to paint a whole car with it. Slightly more than I was going to spend on my MK4 Golf but it should boost the resale value into four figures so I'll get some of that back.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2020 16:22

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

yoloer420 posted:

I just purchased a bunch of UVC lamps! Time to set up a sterilization closet :0

https://a.aliexpress.com/_mqLVSUF

# ¿ Aug 31, 2020 11:53

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Moo the cow posted:

If people are into this kind of thing, a bunch of fake Rolexes and Omegas have just appeared on Ali for about $30.

There's an 80% chance nothing will get shipped and a 95% chance that if they do, they will be utter garbage, but if you fancy taking the risk or you have a lot of faith in Buyer Protection, then there they are.

I know this is the AliExpress thread, but I think I have a little too much respect for the art of watchmaking to wear a fake. If it's not a genuine Bagelsport, I'm not interested.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2020 01:27

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

The Wonder Weapon posted:

Specifically I'm trying to find a tan or natural leather band with a white face and gold or rose gold casing, but I don't expect you to find that for me of course. Also, I can search AE for items in that price bracket with seemingly good reviews myself. I was more hoping people had personal experience with having ordered and enjoyed specific brands.

Moo the cow posted:

They do a similar watch that doesn't have that godawful date carbuncle on the face.

Really nice.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000822253765.html

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 00:33

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

New money saving bathroom routine from Wish:

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 13:05

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

ngl, I am super curious how it would feel to use an ultrasonic cleaner as a bidet.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 17:57

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

goatface posted:

Is the 9 o'clock marker misaligned or is it just me?

The red bits look like stickers, and the 9 o'clock one is definitely misaligned. Overall, it might impress someone who has never seen a real Rolex, or a Swatch.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2020 20:52

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Cage posted:

(2560 pieces )
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000748704852.html

This is marvellous. It even looks good in the review images. I want.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 22:11

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Coxswain Balls posted:

I just got an email saying that the seller accepted my proposal for a full refund, but the page is still only showing that they accepted Ali's 50% refund. Hopefully that's just because their website hasn't updated or something

I just got something refunded and the website lagged a day or so behind the emails for some reasons.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2020 18:42

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Another tasteful watch.

a little chonky, perhaps

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000131207558.html

# ¿ Jan 5, 2021 01:55

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

I love these outrageous bullshit clickbait thumbnails this store uses.

It's a plastic bucket for soaking your feet. No hovering hologram touchscreens involved.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000764391129.html

Just a plastic tray you can put bottles in. It does not feature a remote control screen.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000907157069.html

# ¿ Jun 26, 2021 23:22

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Unquestionably legal car laser triangle.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005001989686121.html

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 15:40

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

This costs eighty two dollars.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32970214181.html

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 15:48

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

I used to keep a box of Swan Vestas ("The Smoker's Match"), because striking them on the wall or the surface of a table looks cool. Unfortunately they've changed them into ordinary strike-on-box matches recently, which is much less fun. Something to do with the cost of shipping the ingredients used in the strike anywhere formula.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2021 13:10

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

Mini review: I bought some cheap earbuds - the catchily named Lenovo ThinkPlus LivePods LP1S. There appear to be dozens of very different Lenovo branded earbuds all for the same price, so I just bought some at random. They cost a shade under �15 all inclusive and shipping to England took 12 days.

They don't feel cheap at all. The build quality is solid and the case, with its magnet latch and metal hinge, feels really nice. I bought them so I could listen to podcasts at work and the sound quality is perfectly adequate for that. They pair with my iPhone effortlessly. The touch controls are a bit fussy, but they work.

Very impressive considering they cost so little.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005003155920016.html

# ¿ Mar 3, 2022 02:14

Horace: Apr 17, 2007; Gone Skiin'

that seller has a whole range of bathroom accessories with a touchscreen photoshopped onto them in the main image. it's such blatant bullshittery I can't help but laugh.

I wonder if you could get your toilet paper holder or w/e for free by raising a not as described dispute

# ¿ Apr 30, 2022 22:36