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Who will win the 2020 race?
Glorious Leader Donald J Trump
Dashing Man of Mystery Donaldo J. Trumpito
View Results
 
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Yinlock
Oct 22, 2008

Even though elections were ruled unconstitutional in 2018 after the Number One Tricky Incident, Glorious Leader Donald Trump has bowed to the WILL OF THE PEOPLE and has decided to hold another one. Unusually, Glorious Leader has demanded that no insults be levied against his opponent, as well as the already-standing rule about not insulting Glorious Leader.

THE CANDIDATES



Glorious Leader DONALD J TRUMP

Winning by the greatest popular vote in history, Donald Trump has revitalized the economy and enjoys the support and love of every citizen, We are all familiar with his Love Agents touring the country to keep morale up, occasionally at gunpoint.



Mysterious Handsome Rogue DONALDO J TRUMPITO

Appearing from nowhere, this Mexican immigrant has taken the populace by storm. Even the famously-loyal Love Agents have been swayed by his incredible charisma and Glorious Leader himself has admitted that he finds his opponent "incredibly handsome and large-handed" and has even offered to make a political marriage between his lovely daughter and this dashing foreigner.



Jeb!

who?

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tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Nate is shook

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 273 days!
The Trumpstaffel is on the watch for voter fraud, and will be monitoring our ballots for sufficient patriotism.

And that's a good thing! A very good thing!

Yinlock
Oct 22, 2008

Hodgepodge posted:

The Trumpstaffel is on the watch for voter fraud, and will be monitoring our ballots for sufficient patriotism.

And that's a good thing! A very good thing!

i hear they've already made sure to keep the California Magaprison from voting, good first steps

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
As a Russian Hacker how does each candidate affect ME?

Princess Di
Apr 23, 2016

by zen death robot
Waah! No one I like! Stays home.

4
More
Years
Of


Trump!

deadgoon
Dec 4, 2014

by FactsAreUseless
voting trump

don't change horses midstream

the black husserl
Feb 25, 2005

*spits on the campfire*

"Hey Carlos. What's the date man? Almost feels like November already."

Carlos puts down his rifle and removes a tattered journal from his satchel. He flips for a moment before settling on a page. Suddenly he bursts into wild, unhinged laughter. A sound I haven't heard in years.

"Good news brother! Good news! It's later than you think, later than you think...tomorrow...tomorrow, tomorrow is ELECTION DAY!

I throw my head back and roar along with Carlos. Truly the signs are clear. Tomorrow we march on the Tower.

Bolton Hairy-Bore
Jul 31, 2013
voting is for sad losers

Princess Di
Apr 23, 2016

by zen death robot

the black husserl posted:

*spits on the campfire*

"Hey Carlos. What's the date man? Almost feels like November already."

Carlos puts down his rifle and removes a tattered journal from his satchel. He flips for a moment before settling on a page. Suddenly he bursts into wild, unhinged laughter. A sound I haven't heard in years.

"Good news brother! Good news! It's later than you think, later than you think...tomorrow...tomorrow, tomorrow is ELECTION DAY!

I throw my head back and roar along with Carlos. Truly the signs are clear. Tomorrow we march on the Tower.

Where you at?

I'm comin' to the tower too.

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos
I'm currently commanding a rebel cell linked to a larger revolutionary network ran by the true hero of the people, JEB!

the black husserl
Feb 25, 2005

*cautiously pushes tent flap aside*

A hulking figure looms over a table piled high with fresh scalps. Some of them have their red hats still attached. The stench of gore is overwhelming.

JEB! (snarling): What the gently caress do you want?

Princess Di
Apr 23, 2016

by zen death robot

the black husserl posted:

*cautiously pushes tent flap aside*

A hulking figure looms over a table piled high with fresh scalps. Some of them have their red hats still attached. The stench of gore is overwhelming.

JEB! (snarling): What the gently caress do you want?

Jeb!

I didn't know you were going to deadpool this!

Yinlock
Oct 22, 2008

the black husserl posted:

*cautiously pushes tent flap aside*

A hulking figure looms over a table piled high with fresh scalps. Some of them have their red hats still attached. The stench of gore is overwhelming.

JEB! (snarling): What the gently caress do you want?

"you're a hard man to find, Jeb!." the gruff general said to the darkness of the woodland cabin, putting unnecessary emphasis on the last word

"not hard enough" replied Jeb!, emerging from the shadows still somehow dressed in the same stupid loving campaign outfit

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Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


Yinlock posted:

"you're a hard man to find, Jeb!." the gruff general said to the darkness of the woodland cabin, putting unnecessary emphasis on the last word

"not hard enough" replied Jeb!, emerging from the shadows still somehow dressed in the same stupid loving campaign outfit

"Jeb!, I'm not sure how to sugarcoat this so I'm not even going to try. Turtlecom One has spotted increased redhat activity fifty clicks outside base camp-- hell, even that's putting it mildly. It's a red tide. Whatever move you're planning to make, you had better make it fast".

Jeb! turns, his shrinking chin doing its best to jut defiantly, to regard the mouldering specter propped up in the corner. "This is it, mom."

"Sir?"

"Put the message out over all low-energy frequncies" he mutters, almost calmly. "Let's guac and roll".

Meanwhile, on the other side of the camp, the man known only as "W" has put his now-empty red Solo cup upside down on his head and improvised a clumsy Hula, causing the men to roar with laughter.

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