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Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Medical isn't bad if you can land yourself a pretty specialized gig. Being a respiratory therapist, X-ray Specialist or OR tech can land you some decent gigs outside of the military and you won't find yourself having to do the whole college route again since you're already trained in the profession. Being a general medic is great for an 18 year old, because you get a broad level of general medical knowledge and your EMT-B, and if you decide to go the nurse route or PA it always looks good on a resume/application.... But being an EMT in the private sector pays poo poo, and even getting your paramedic doesn't pay all that much better unless you land a gig with a fire service...And even then you can "usually" make better cash by just getting your RN if you really decide to go that route.

Unless you end up really liking medicine for some reason, then going back to school on Uncle Sam's dime peeping nursing student butts isn't a bad route either...

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soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Cyber is probably my poo poo, at least I could actually contribute there in a meaningful way. I already have an absurd stack of skills but who knows. I wonder if they recruit reserve officers without degrees from tech, would be kinda smart of them to do so. I doubt that though, websites point to no.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



Don't join the military, dawg.

Find a private sector equivalent.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013



Echoing the "Don't join the military" sentiment, especially if you already make decent money.

If you're hellbent on joining, signal or MI are my vote over cyber. With your stated background, signal or SIGINT are the ways to go.

Cyber in the military sense is not your poo poo, unless your poo poo is "I like not using any of the skills I've developed in ten years of work and also I enjoy dealing with people who genuinely believe in the concept of 'cyber bombs' because I watched The Net/Hackers/Swordfish at one point".

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Ya upon furthet reflection, every infosec person Iíve ever dealt with has been a complete goof, and all the tech Iíve worked with has been pretty much bloated scam designed to bilk companies out of licensing and professional services fees.

Will look into signals because I am an idiot patriot or something.

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003



College Slice

soy posted:

Ya upon furthet reflection, every infosec person Iíve ever dealt with has been a complete goof, and all the tech Iíve worked with has been pretty much bloated scam designed to bilk companies out of licensing and professional services fees.

Will look into signals because I am an idiot patriot or something.

Cool.

Be a sport and document your suffering for us to laugh at, k? 'Cause we told you so and it's much, much funnier when the inevitable happens.

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


bird food bathtub posted:

Cool.

Be a sport and document your suffering for us to laugh at, k? 'Cause we told you so and it's much, much funnier when the inevitable happens.

Of course, thatíll be half the fun of doing it.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


And another goon drowns in the well.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013



I don't know how much you're making currently, but you can probably save a fuckton of money on public patriotic masochism by buying a webcam, a stereo with "Proud to be an American", and hiring a chubby dominatrix to kick you in the balls on a monthly basis.

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


redneck nazgul posted:

I don't know how much you're making currently, but you can probably save a fuckton of money on public patriotic masochism by buying a webcam, a stereo with "Proud to be an American", and hiring a chubby dominatrix to kick you in the balls on a monthly basis.

Iíd be going reserve or something not giving up my salary lol. I couldnít even, my family would starve. I live in the sf bay area, shits expensive.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



soy posted:

Iíd be going reserve or something not giving up my salary lol. I couldnít even, my family would starve. I live in the sf bay area, shits expensive.

There's no such thing as a part time idiot.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


The only real reason to enlist is if it will improve your life, not gently caress it up.

Billy Bob at the trailer park in Buttfuck, Ky? Go ahead and enlist. Comfy job and family in SF? Hahahaha.


Seriously. Don't. Your life will become a living hell and it won't stop for at least six years. You'll probably be deployed a time or two. You'll waste a weekend a month and probably a month of the year on absolute army related bullshit. And for what, a pittance of a drill paycheck?

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit


Don't forget that (s)he'll receive the love and adoration of a grateful nation

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


I prefer the love and respect of my dog.

He's not responsible for VA health care though.

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Thank u 4 ur service mr army marine, plz let me know what it's like to be on a ship and i hope u find osama bin hussein

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

The only real reason to enlist is if it will improve your life, not gently caress it up.

Billy Bob at the trailer park in Buttfuck, Ky? Go ahead and enlist. Comfy job and family in SF? Hahahaha.


Seriously. Don't. Your life will become a living hell and it won't stop for at least six years. You'll probably be deployed a time or two. You'll waste a weekend a month and probably a month of the year on absolute army related bullshit. And for what, a pittance of a drill paycheck?

The only way he's going "a time or two" is if they're year-long deployments. Less than that, he's going three or four times.

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene


You should definitely sign up and regularly mention how you should be an officer because of your computer skills. That way when you're cleaning poo poo everyone will be distracted from the misery of their existence by focusing on how loving stupid you are.

BromanderData
Mar 20, 2013

Stroke it with me

The Chosen One


Woof Blitzer posted:

Reveal you'reselves foul creatures :crossarms:

Ok

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


do you guys still have to kill the dragon with the sword on the obstacle course or is that an optional quest

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit


Milo and POTUS posted:

do you guys still have to kill the dragon with the sword on the obstacle course or is that an optional quest

Today the dragon is mostly a powerpoint series about the dragon as a metaphor for sexual assault

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Kawasaki Nun posted:

You should definitely sign up and regularly mention how you should be an officer because of your computer skills. That way when you're cleaning poo poo everyone will be distracted from the misery of their existence by focusing on how loving stupid you are.

ya upon even further reflection I realized gently caress all that

I'll just watch the apocalypse on TV

Pesticide20 posted:

Today the dragon is mostly a powerpoint series about the dragon as a metaphor for sexual assault

lol I think this has to be the biggest turn off about being in military

powerpoint, microsoft windows loving everywhere

I'm sure all their IT is like vmware, active directory, microsoft sql

I know/work with a bunch of ex nasa folks and even NASA sounds awful I'm sure the military is like that only if you try to change anything you get shot

I do like that they use mIRC for command and control though, that sounds kewl

soy fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Oct 14, 2017

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



If the prospect of powerpoint and sql is what you think is the biggest turn off, boy howdy are you in for a treat.

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


I have some idea, wife is a fed. Sounds like the dumbest possible system to try and work in.

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene


If you had some idea you wouldn't be considering enlisting

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


It's not really a working environment, it's a lifestyle that requires time to adapt. The military will take up every waking hour of your day at some point and you'll think back like "why the gently caress did I do this again?" It'll start with boot and you'll be all hooah about boot and secondary school. But then some point during your reserve obligation, probably rather early, your unit is going to catch orders and you get to go on a paid vacation in a warzone.

Mind you, there's imminent danger pay, and you're not taxed while serving in theater, but you're only stacking that on E4 pay. So you're probably gonna gross pretty alright for feeding a family in Assfuck, Arkansas, not California, but that's only really while you're deployed. But who cares, right? Employers can't legally fire you with standing military orders. And that year you were gone playing on SIPR is only going to roll you back on any advances that have come out while you were deployed. And your company can always find a loophole to cut you loose (downsizing due to blah).

I'll leave the imagination to run with what you think might happen to any relationships you have if you do join, and how it will change them. Positive experiences seem to be rare, and that's because they are, so make sure you follow the darkest rabbit holes your mind can conjure. If your wife has a male friend named Jody, it's already doomed.

So I'll stand by my statement that if you're not joining the military to better your position in life (like Billy Bob in the trailer park), you're making a poor decision. But it's your choice so let us all know.

Someone post the shim rant about intel officers or whatever.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


soy posted:

I have some idea, wife is a fed. Sounds like the dumbest possible system to try and work in.

Wife is a fed what?

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Godholio posted:

Wife is a fed what?

probably posting that is a bad idea

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

It's not really a working environment, it's a lifestyle that requires time to adapt. The military will take up every waking hour of your day at some point and you'll think back like "why the gently caress did I do this again?" It'll start with boot and you'll be all hooah about boot and secondary school. But then some point during your reserve obligation, probably rather early, your unit is going to catch orders and you get to go on a paid vacation in a warzone.

Mind you, there's imminent danger pay, and you're not taxed while serving in theater, but you're only stacking that on E4 pay. So you're probably gonna gross pretty alright for feeding a family in Assfuck, Arkansas, not California, but that's only really while you're deployed. But who cares, right? Employers can't legally fire you with standing military orders. And that year you were gone playing on SIPR is only going to roll you back on any advances that have come out while you were deployed. And your company can always find a loophole to cut you loose (downsizing due to blah).

I'll leave the imagination to run with what you think might happen to any relationships you have if you do join, and how it will change them. Positive experiences seem to be rare, and that's because they are, so make sure you follow the darkest rabbit holes your mind can conjure. If your wife has a male friend named Jody, it's already doomed.

So I'll stand by my statement that if you're not joining the military to better your position in life (like Billy Bob in the trailer park), you're making a poor decision. But it's your choice so let us all know.

Someone post the shim rant about intel officers or whatever.

good post

yea I'm not going to enlist, don't worry goons. The more I think about how it must be where my idiot bosses are still idiots except they get to dress up and make me salute them just sounds like the dumbest thing possible

I'll just LARP as jack reacher instead and if I see anyone I can throw off a roof to save murica I'll do that

Is there some way I can get Jody to take my wife though and get a favorable divorce terms out of it though? TIA

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene


From the sound of things Jody will get your wife. Favorable terms on the other hand..

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


soy posted:

probably posting that is a bad idea

Fair enough, I was just trying to figure out if her experience was in any way relevant. Life in the DOD is very different from other departments.

TCD
Nov 13, 2002

Every step, a fucking adventure.


Godholio posted:

Fair enough, I was just trying to figure out if her experience was in any way relevant. Life in the DOD is very different from other departments.

From talking with others, even overseas, it really does vary by Dept and Agency.

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


TCD posted:

From talking with others, even overseas, it really does vary by Dept and Agency.

Ya I've read countless books, listened to podcasts, etc... Covering people from various branches and periods of history and it does seem like it really varies.

Special operations and combat pilot type stuff are the only roles I can say that really sound like they'd be really something I could sink my teeth into. That said, I'm probably too old and missed the whole college/ROTC train by 15 years so that's probably not an option. Maybe in the next life.

I'll probably just take my free time and finish my degree or something, maybe can explore internships in defense/aviation.

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch

GiP is kinda like an anti-"Crab in a bucket" scenario. A new crab is dropped in the bucket, and all the crabs here join together to push the new guy to freedom. Meanwhile he's just clawing and kicking and screaming "Let me fall to the bottom fuckers!!!". Every once in a while we manage to push one over the edge, despite their opposite intentions.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!""
"OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002





Godholio posted:

OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!""
"OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."

:golfclap:

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race



Still lurking.

IronDoge
Nov 6, 2008



Still lurking cause firefighting thread gets no activity.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



Godholio posted:

OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!""
"OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."

thesurlyspringKAA
Jul 8, 2005


Iím a single-term USAF vet who went contractor. Iím here to read dumb army man stories and look at the dog pics.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

soy you sound too dumb to be real, can you prove you're married to a woman in the employ of the federal government and/or that you live in the bay area, yet somehow have a legit reason to consider enlisting?

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Do The Evolution
Aug 5, 2013

but why

Hey so I've actually been lurking for a really long time because GiP is interesting, funny, and at times sobering. What drives me to make a post is a question to do with the US army; I've read GiP long enough to know how uniquely hosed up everything is, but I've never heard of this. I have a friend in Intel who, upon approaching the end of his term, got forcibly extended for another 6 months. In his own words he had no choice. On one hand I've never heard of this happening (aside from the pilots potentially being called back?) but on the other hand, it's the US army and I 100% believe they'd gently caress a guy who's already suicidally depressed to get another 6 months out of him.

Is my buddy an idiot and could have weaselled out of this or can the military just do that, keep you for an extra few months? Wondering if anyone in army intel or just in the US forces in general has heard of this at all.

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