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bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003



College Slice

It's not terribly unusual, I guess aside from the timing? Thought it was getting less common lately. If he's in a critical rated MOS it's part of the deal. Happened ALL THE loving TIME few years back. You might remember the phrase "stop loss"?

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Do The Evolution
Aug 5, 2013

but why

Fair enough. He does important poo poo but, naturally, can't tell anyone about any of it. He's 35S, which I imagine probably comes under 'critical importance' right about now.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Yeah, stop losses are a kick in the balls.

Basically, when you initially enlist, you do it for 8 years. Your active duty obligation is whatever you sign up for (3-6 years, usually), but the additional time, should you not re-enlist, is what's called IRR time (inactive ready reserve). So, for the duration of the initial enlistment that you're in IRR, you're essentially recallable. There are exceptions, like disability ratings, being flagged/barred from re-enlisting, or pretty much any discharge besides honorable, but if they send a letter or issue a stop loss, you're rear end is theirs as long as it's within the 8 years you sign up for in the beginning.

All enlisted idiot contracts are that way. There's no dancing around that 8 year obligation when they call and if they really, really want you.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Best stopless is the kind they do to make you deploy when you were expecting to become a civilian

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003



College Slice

Do The Evolution posted:

Fair enough. He does important poo poo but, naturally, can't tell anyone about any of it. He's 35S, which I imagine probably comes under 'critical importance' right about now.

Haha, bleeps and squeaks. Sucker.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



I got forced to stay in for a full extra year/deployment.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT



a guy in my unit got stop lossed 5 days before he ETS’d

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


The other mechanic in my unit volunteered himself for stop loss. He was a weird guy. But it was that or go back to Michigan.

He went back to Michigan 15 months later instead.

Do The Evolution
Aug 5, 2013

but why

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

All enlisted idiot contracts are that way. There's no dancing around that 8 year obligation when they call and if they really, really want you.

gently caress me, so he could theoretically be called back for another 4 years for 6 months at a time if he got unlucky enough? Nice. The worst part is that if they call him back once I see no reason they wouldn't do it twice.

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

a guy in my unit got stop lossed 5 days before he ETS’d

I LOVE COCK SALAD posted:

I got forced to stay in for a full extra year/deployment.

That is truly brutal.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


If circumstances dictate, they can keep you until the end of that 8 years, there's no six month cap on it. If they need you, they'll keep you until you're no longer under obligation.

Get your buddy an account here. He's gonna have a bunch of questions when he does get discharged.

CRUSTY MINGE fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Nov 2, 2017

Do The Evolution
Aug 5, 2013

but why

Thought I'd give a small update on my hosed-over buddy, he's getting medically separated in a range from dec-march (apparently). He's been using a CPAP machine so I guess that documentation and all helped him out in the end.

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Get your buddy an account here. He's gonna have a bunch of questions when he does get discharged.

I will probably actually do this, the resources are too good for him not to have access to.

Angus McAWESOME
Mar 18, 2011


I lurk because y'all are by far the most on point forum on this dump. GiP has served to only reaffirm that I'm still the most intelligent of my brothers for having taken Grandma up on the college money instead.

Also, thank you all for doing the things I either could not or would not do my own drat self.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

I ate too much crab and transformed into this.




I joined the Navy Reserves at 37 after talking to GIP about it. I've enjoyed most of it as an escape from reality (think boy scouts with pay). I already owned a house 9/10ths payed off so the BAH while on any orders makes up the difference. My wife is pretty independent and comes from a family with lots of military. After three years I've spent 12 of those in training (2 boot,6 "A", 4 "C") and 70 days on orders serving at my local Navy base(organizing and fixing printers). I've also done two 14 day AT in Hawaii doing nothing of importance or discomfort. I did take my wife the second time because they put me up in the Marriott on Waikiki. The one weekend per month certainly pays for my family insurance and has given me a certain freedom while exploring new job fields (lol contractor work).

Finally found my name on the short list for mobilizing though. May be time to pay the piper for a year. Starting to look at volunteer options.

Don't join active duty though if you have any other options. Most of the people I've interacted with are miserable or retarded. There are exceptions of course.

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.



LingcodKilla posted:

Most of the people I've interacted with are miserable or retarded.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



Fuckin pog.

Professor Bling
Nov 12, 2008

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Every year around this time (i.e. Veteran's Day) I get real upset with myself for not spending my full 6 years in like I signed up for.

And every year I realize I'm just upset because my mother (god bless her) goes on an on about how proud she is of me being a vet just like her dad and I've got severe impostor syndrome, all because he served in the goddamned Korean War and I spent a year and three months learning Chinese and getting hammered in what seemed like paradise for a poor kid from Bumfuck, Little Egypt, IL.

Getting out early with my honorable and having the rest of my contract nulled so that I don't have any IRR obligation was probably the best thing I could have asked for. I'm still loving that up because, well, I enlisted in the first place, so I'm still a loving giant goddamned idiot, but I'm far better off than I would have been (of that I'm sure). I've got a bad habit of having the universe find a way to poo poo on me right on the cusp of accomplishing something, so to have that time only be an honorable discharge while at DLI is a hell of a lot better than the alternative, considering some of the poo poo my buddies have had to go through.

Looking back now, most of the guys that got out around the time I did have had some rough times, but they're doing better now than they were when they were in.

I'd still enlist, because at the point where I went "gently caress it, I'll join the military," I had two choices: enlist, or end up working a dead-end wage slave factory job (non-union), with a fat wife and three kids that I hate, before dying of either diabetes or a heart attack. So I'm glad I made the choice I did. Wish to gently caress I hadn't had to make it. But there weren't many options back in 2011, in rural as gently caress southern IL, with only a high school diploma and a family too poor to afford college loans/with credit too bad to cosign.


The memory of rolling through Ft. Ord for a language immersion and realizing I was rolling down the same roads my granddad did before he shipped out to Korea was pretty cool. Also, Softface got subjected to me wearing bedsheets as a toga with a reflective belt holding them steady, so those two things together made it worth it, a little bit.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Good on you for escaping rural Illinois.

Pretty sure all of us here have imposter syndrome sometimes. Don't let it weigh you down.

At some point you'll probably look back and the moments that sucked about the military will be the ones you miss the most. There's a lot to hate about the service, but it left you with a half-crazy, half-retarded nationwide dysfunctional family of vets to call on when you need a hand.

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013




I lived in a crummy old postwar Italian Army barracks as an E3.

One day, they needed someone to clean up an unoccupied room so that its plumbing could be repaired. See, the toilet's pipes had been leaking liquid poo poo for the last weeks or months, and someone finally noticed when the sludge began seeping out the room's door into the hallway outside. The whole room was covered in a thin layer of poo poo.

So Airman First Class me had to clean it up. I put plastic bags over my boots, and waded in to the middle of the room. The stench was unbelievably awful; I wore a gas mask just to deaden the smell. I dumped a couple bottles of bleach onto the soggy ground to kill the swarms of flies and maggots. Then, in 45-second increments (so I could run outside and breath clean air), I spent the next two hours mopping up the mess.

That was 8 years ago. It is the single clearest memory I have of the past. Clearer than any joyous moment. Clearer than any of the deaths I've witnessed. Clearer even than the 5-year old kid I watched die from a headshot.


What I'm getting at is,

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

the moments that sucked about the military will be the ones you miss the most
is bullllllllllshit. That's Stockholm Syndrome speaking.

Life actually gets great once you're a free man, or once you get promoted up to the point you never pull sucky details. The moments you miss are the ones where you're getting hammered with your friends and you forget for a minute that you're Uncle Sam's bitch.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Man, do they not teach lower enlisted air force to sham? When the whisp of a detail starts wafting through the wind, you find something not detail related to do.

The terrible details, like playing with literal poo poo, were doled out to extra duty dipshits.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



When you know someone is about to grab you for something, take out your phone, “answer” it, and just be like “roger, sgt on my way!” And quickly move in the opposite direction.

60% of the time, it works every time. :smugbert:

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



Manila folder. Walk like you’re in a hurry.

Put an ERB and some orders or some poo poo in the folder.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Bought a brand new phone when i got to Korea. It was off at least half the time.

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003



College Slice

Many good ideas so far on the shamming emergency reactions. I maintain that good planning is superior. If you never have to pull an emergency sham in the first place you're better off.

Working with comms gear was great for this. 'Don't step into this area that I've placed the safety cones around (where I will be "working" for the next six hours) or your sperm will be all retarded because we're RADIATING SIGNAL' is a really good myth to spread to the ignorant masses so they never even want to come talk to you in the first place.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Clipboards used to be the golden rule of looking busy. If you were an overachiever you got supply to give you one of the metal ones that flips open or around or whatever and just jammed random papers into it. "Sorry sarge, I got this thing here (blank paper) to go to, and this thing here (receipt for brake parts) to go to after that. See you at CoB sarge!"

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



Until you have like four dudes get caught doing the same thing on the same day in the same room playing call of duty or sleeping during a layout.

Shamming becomes a lot more difficult when people suck at it.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Yeah, shamming is an artform.

The people who stayed on rear det in my battalion were loving masters of the trade. Several of them had second jobs that were during the duty day, and because everyone that mattered deployed, no one bothered stopping it until the advance for return deployment showed up.

Then it was a poo poo show.


Oh, and you can't park at your own barracks if you're shamming there. Park down the block, park in a pack of cars the next barracks over, but don't make it obvious.

CRUSTY MINGE fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Nov 14, 2017

McNally
Sep 12, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?


I was never able to sham. I had somehow developed a reputation based on... I have no idea what. I'm minding my own business one day when I'm called to the orderly room. I get there and there's this major I'd never seen before from brigade who said he needed to put overlays in the brigade commander's Blue Force Tracker and he was told I was the man to do it.

I hadn't touched a Blue Force Tracker since my entire platoon ran through the 40 hour leader's course on it at annual training the year before, back when it was all E6s and above and like five of us junior enlisted guys (I belonged to a really strangely structured unit).

Yet somehow I was the go-to guy in the brigade for this poo poo.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Someone somewhere didn't like you. They recognized competency and proceeded to make you miserable for it.

I'm fairly sure that's in some creed somewhere. Recognize, inundate, and create misery.

McNally
Sep 12, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?


CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Someone somewhere didn't like you. They recognized competency and proceeded to make you miserable for it.

I'm fairly sure that's in some creed somewhere. Recognize, inundate, and create misery.

There was also that. During my last AT in the Guard, I was the designated detail guy.

"McNally, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but we all know that if we assign you a task, it will actually get done and it will get done correctly the first time. I assign any of these other chucklefucks to it, they'll gently caress it up so bad it'll take three days to unfuck it before we can even start to do it right."

Joke was on them, though. One of the things they assigned me to was the TOC, which meant I got to hang around the barracks all day because I got myself assigned to the night shift.

"McNally, why the gently caress are you in your bunk? I need guys cleaning the latrine."

"Sorry, sergeant, I belong to sergeant so-and-so's TOC and I'm not to be disturbed before 1900."

mods changed my name
Oct 30, 2017


Seconding the manilla folder, also one of those hardbound green notebooks

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

61st Jager Infantry Brigade
"Guess why we're called 'Jagers' and not 'Strelki'"




My career shamming started when I ended up assigned to a two-star MAJCOM as a PFC. They didn't even have any junior enlisted slots in my shop. My closest peers were a retiring E-6 and a CW2.

For the first three months, I was asked the following questions several times:

A: What the hell rank is that again?
B: How the gently caress did we get a PFC here?
C: What'd you do to get busted down?

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



how many challenge coins did you have to keep in your pocket for the general to pass out on a daily basis?

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013




CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Man, do they not teach lower enlisted air force to sham? When the whisp of a detail starts wafting through the wind, you find something not detail related to do.

The terrible details, like playing with literal poo poo, were doled out to extra duty dipshits.

I had already been assigned to bay orderly detail for the week. Dunno if that exists in the Army/Navy/Marines, but in the Air Force it means that you do all the cleanup bitchwork in the dorms/barracks. No way to pretend I was already tasked with something worse. I had the most seniority of all the E3s assigned that week, so I chose to fall on my sword instead of making one of them do it. I'm still salty about it almost a decade later.

McNally posted:

... put overlays in the...Blue Force Tracker

Fuuuuuuck that. When you demonstrate that you're good at your job, you get the privilege of doing other peoples' jobs, too.

BFT, CPOF, FalconView, and all the other bullshit geo trackers are the devil. Adding zone/building identifiers is a special sort of hell.

McNally
Sep 12, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?


Arc Light posted:

Fuuuuuuck that. When you demonstrate that you're good at your job, you get the privilege of doing other peoples' jobs, too.

BFT, CPOF, FalconView, and all the other bullshit geo trackers are the devil. Adding zone/building identifiers is a special sort of hell.

The best part was that I DIDN'T know how to do that.

Anyway, I manage to dig up something I was looking for. When I was assigned to the TOC, I pretty much just hosed around. First thing I did was make this:



It went downhill from there, as the rest of the TOC (and the battalion XO) joined in. Velociraptor reports were sent up to battalion. Velociraptors were added to maps.

All I did was make the sign.

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003



College Slice

Arc Light posted:

I had already been assigned to bay orderly detail for the week. Dunno if that exists in the Army/Navy/Marines, but in the Air Force it means that you do all the cleanup bitchwork in the dorms/barracks. No way to pretend I was already tasked with something worse. I had the most seniority of all the E3s assigned that week, so I chose to fall on my sword instead of making one of them do it. I'm still salty about it almost a decade later.


Fuuuuuuck that. When you demonstrate that you're good at your job, you get the privilege of doing other peoples' jobs, too.

BFT, CPOF, FalconView, and all the other bullshit geo trackers are the devil. Adding zone/building identifiers is a special sort of hell.

ArcGIS.

Someone, somewhere, should take a kick to the balls every hour on the hour for years as penance for bringing that accursed program into being.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


Arc Light posted:

I had already been assigned to bay orderly detail for the week. Dunno if that exists in the Army/Navy/Marines, but in the Air Force it means that you do all the cleanup bitchwork in the dorms/barracks.

Army has different things in different barracks. It seems to be whatever companies are housed in it must agree to make rotations. When I was in a big company, it was split by rooms to sweep/mop the floors. It was a newer barracks, so soldiers were responsible for their own shitters. There were 14 rooms on each side of the main staircase, one room each day for two weeks.

In a smaller company, we only took up about 100 feet of a hallway on one floor. New building, we took care of our areas, and being higher traffic areas but smaller, we never bitched. Rotated one room (two troops) a week.

In the Korean war era barracks on Campbell, it was pretty much decided by paper, rock, scissors, but there were only a dozen of us in the barracks. Top heavy units don't care as much about what kind of squallor the junior enlisted live in. Didn't even have a CQ desk. They were lovely block asbestos buildings in line for a wrecking ball anyhow. Even then, we would've bitched to someone else if it was beyond simple repair. Half our urinals were controlled by a screwdriver left on top of one of them. I would just poo poo at work, because that's the perfect sham.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012


CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Army has different things in different barracks. It seems to be whatever companies are housed in it must agree to make rotations. When I was in a big company, it was split by rooms to sweep/mop the floors. It was a newer barracks, so soldiers were responsible for their own shitters. There were 14 rooms on each side of the main staircase, one room each day for two weeks.

In a smaller company, we only took up about 100 feet of a hallway on one floor. New building, we took care of our areas, and being higher traffic areas but smaller, we never bitched. Rotated one room (two troops) a week.

In the Korean war era barracks on Campbell, it was pretty much decided by paper, rock, scissors, but there were only a dozen of us in the barracks. Top heavy units don't care as much about what kind of squallor the junior enlisted live in. Didn't even have a CQ desk. They were lovely block asbestos buildings in line for a wrecking ball anyhow. Even then, we would've bitched to someone else if it was beyond simple repair. Half our urinals were controlled by a screwdriver left on top of one of them. I would just poo poo at work, because that's the perfect sham.

lol I remember those, they were spooky

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016



When I was at Campbell my platoon would get busted for the battalion barracks being dirty.

I’m 100% not joking. My PSG would come in early and wake us all up to clean the battalion shared laundry rooms, the battalion shared stair cases, and police call the battalion parking lot.

Only my platoon.

This happened all the time.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur


I was in the moron brigade at Campbell, DISCOM, when they were changing over from the Leaning Shithouse for leadership. It was called a lot of things, Sustainment Bde, 5th Bde (definitely not as we had almost no combat arms guys), it was a strange brigade. By the time I got back from my Iraq deployment, the rest of the 101st was leaving for Afghanistan.

We subsequently got away with a lot of lazy poo poo.

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Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

Has anyone ever lurked here using night vision goggles? Has anyone ever lurked here using night vision goggles... on weed?

me neither

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