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boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
If you find this forum interesting you should join the military because the military is like this forum except in real life.

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boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Gipception

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Derek Dominoe posted:

That av. :stare:

In English, it's "penises". In Latin (from the word for "tail"), it would be "penes" (two syllables).

This has been your penis education minute. Tune in tomorrow for an in-depth discussion of the right way to suck them (hint: it's not from the front).

gently caress you and your stupid cliffhanger

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Nystral posted:

Hi GIP! I only lurk the current events thread because you fucks make the most sense and align with my world view. Hail RS-28 Satan 2.

Some questions that I was going to post in the lurkers dumb questions thread.

- do you get a choice what ribbons you wear on your dress uniforms? Some of the pictures I see of high ranking officers make it look like they're wearing every participation ribbon ever handed out to anyone who looked at a photo of a war zone.

Yes and no. Yes in that you're supposed to, no in that only the most stupid autistic motherfuckers are going to be like "let me see your ERB" and check to make sure. In other words, yes because the military is full of stupid autistic motherfuckers.

It's also like wearing a resume on your shirt.

Plus the bigger your ribbon stack the bigger your dick and who doesn't want a bigger dick?

quote:

- I had a short rotation as a contractor rolling out AV on an AF base in the states, and it seemed like I only ever interacted with E3 and above. Is it common to keep your newer guys out of the office buildings and on gate detail or the like?

For the most part yes. Generally the lower your rank the more details you'll be put on. To me an e3 is indistinguishable from an e1 as far as how they get treated, so what you're describing is kind of surprising unless the unit was just overloaded with e1 and e2. Or maybe the Air Force works different idk.

boop the snoot fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Mar 18, 2017

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

not caring here posted:

No one gave much of a poo poo if I just wore the 3 I picked up from basic but god help you if you don't have the 27 pieces of flair specific to your unit.

No you can't get any from supply we haven't got any money for that but hey private have you seen the 3 new plasma TVs in the conference room that you will never be in?

Ummmm there's something very very wrong with your post.

It's "pri'te," not private, you dummy.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

yep, its loving dumb that theres 3 rank of private. if specialist isnt an nco, why does he have the same rank as a corporal? just make em e3, pfc can be e2, e1 can be plain ol private

We pinned people with corporal when/if they passed the board but didn't have points.

I never wanted to be a corporal. If you're going to make me an NCO then don't give me NC-Joe pay.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Flikken posted:

Because what works in the Navy might not work in the Army?


How about you get rid of rates and go to a MOS System like every other branch?

shhhhhhhh

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Godholio posted:

Grover would be equivalent to mod again.

Admin, actually.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
YOU KNOW WHY WE USE RED LIGHT ITS BECAUSE THE ENEMY CANT SEE IT FROM AS FAR AWAY AS WHITE LIGHT

*uses a million lumes tac light to ratfuck MREs while on guard anyway*

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Or else what

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

CurbStomp posted:

Ha, no :420: for me unfortunately, I'm becoming a scumbag contractor and they tend to frown upon showing up to a SCIF stoned. Pretty much I used the army as a jumping off point for a career, got a bunch of training (which I never used but still collected that sweet, sweet FLPB pay for) and a ton of experience that I could never have gotten on my own. It sucked balls while I was in, but in a "this is loving stupid just let me do my job" way. Compared to some of the stories y'all have told it was a cake walk.

I had a mission essential shift job that got me out of every stt and training. I did pt on my own for almost the entire time I was out of AIT. I was able to swing BAH and BAS as a single E4 and get out of the barracks and have my own apartment. The only board I went to was my promo board, got a "go" and then the army went "lol we don't need your language anymore get hosed" so I never had to be concerned with promoting, as I was going to do one tour anyway. All the other stupid Soldier of the X boards I just said no to or had the mission excuse. I like to think I achieved a level of sham nirvana during my career.

I hate you but it's coming from a place of jealousy.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Most of the business degrees (business admin, accounting, etc) need a masters to really get anything out of them imo

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
"chow" is about as bad as military time, high speed.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Reverand maynard posted:

whatever you do please enlist into a job that will give you a technical skill that you would want to do in the civilian world. I don't regret enlisting but I do regret getting out after five years with no job skills beyond vague 'leadership'.

Even if you fully intend on going to college afterwards enlist into a technical job.

security guard is pretty technical

0311 or bust.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
You'll be a waste of supplies if you enlist with a degree

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

milk milk lemonade posted:

Don't enlist are you fuckers seriously this retarded.

I enlisted at 22 and I was still way too old for it. Enlisting will destroy your career completely. It's a horrible existence only suited for the bottom 10% of people who are borderline mentally retarded.

remember when you were a kid and your parents told you not to do something, and that made you want to do it even more?

we've discussed it, but i think we need to take that type of attitude into account when people talk about enlisting.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

straller posted:

Wheres lurkingsingles.com

Random story but I was brainstorming get rich quick schemes when I was in my last few months in the army and thought "what about a dating site where people with aids can hook up with people who already have aids because it's not like you can get it twice right?"

That's when I found out there's already a dating site for every loving niche out there.

Thanks that's my story.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
i could have got any job i wanted based on ASVAB scores but i chose infantry because i'm a smart dumb person and now i'm hosed in the head

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Lurkers aren't going to want to post itt and talk about this dumb poo poo

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

goomsnarr posted:

I was in the Army Cadets for long enough to find out that getting off with the Colonels daughter was a big no no.



This is a bullshit theory consequences be damned.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Don't join the military, dawg.

Find a private sector equivalent.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

soy posted:

I’d be going reserve or something not giving up my salary lol. I couldn’t even, my family would starve. I live in the sf bay area, shits expensive.

There's no such thing as a part time idiot.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
If the prospect of powerpoint and sql is what you think is the biggest turn off, boy howdy are you in for a treat.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Manila folder. Walk like you’re in a hurry.

Put an ERB and some orders or some poo poo in the folder.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Until you have like four dudes get caught doing the same thing on the same day in the same room playing call of duty or sleeping during a layout.

Shamming becomes a lot more difficult when people suck at it.

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boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
When I was at Campbell my platoon would get busted for the battalion barracks being dirty.

I’m 100% not joking. My PSG would come in early and wake us all up to clean the battalion shared laundry rooms, the battalion shared stair cases, and police call the battalion parking lot.

Only my platoon.

This happened all the time.

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