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May the cooks always put too much mayo or sour cream on your food, but not quite enough that you would feel justified complaining about it.
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Jan 27, 2017 16:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 12:43
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May your sea monkeys survive long enough for you to start seriously wondering whether you should get a better aquarium for them and, heck, maybe even a nice betta or some other freshwater fish, just a pretty little starter aquarium, which would really liven up the living room which you should probably redo anyway, you know, spruce this dump up a little and maybe take control of your life in general, start exercising, make some new social connections, and just as you're about to head to the pet supply store the sea monkeys die.
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Jan 27, 2017 18:12
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- google THIS
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May you always second-guess yourself when deciding what you want from a vending machine, then feel disproportionate regret the instant you hit the button.
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Jan 28, 2017 19:46
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"enjoy your meal!"
instantly, my stomach twists into a knot. I focus all my concentration on any appropriate phrase: "Have a nice day." "Thanks." "My Compliments to the chef." my throat is gurgling. there is an inky sickness in it that is bubbling over and consuming me from the inside. it can't be contained. as my lips pry themselves open, I pray that I merely scream or vomit, and regret ever cutting in line ahead of that witch at the Burger King.
"you too"
tears drip down my face, off my chin, and into my Kids' Meal nuggets
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Jan 30, 2017 23:05
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- google THIS
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When you're in a waiting room or a long line, may you always be stuck next to somebody who is just itching to share their dysfunctional life story.
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Feb 3, 2017 18:08
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 12:43
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- google THIS
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May your posts get misattributed on the front page.
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Feb 15, 2017 18:16
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Jan 27, 2017 16:40
