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SHOULD HAVE U MORAN'S
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Mar 15, 2017 19:32
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 06:29 |
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Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi posted:I believe it is spelled "you" but I am not sure, this was not covered in my writing classes and I do not know for a fact that it is "you", probably should have figured it out on my own but I did not ok sure if you accept the white man's codifying of everything and stomping out any variation, i spell it the way William Shakespeare did. 
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Mar 16, 2017 18:34
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I think a lot of past tense is written in that way. You're writing about something you just watched happen. like "holy poo poo, she just got punched in the face!" but instead with the benefit of a few seconds for internal editing: "Rob punched her in the face." "She punched back!"
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Mar 26, 2017 20:57
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from the west coast and i get poo poo on the east coast for saying "the 101." the only solution to this problem is interstate/state highway sign emojis. it's not the 101 unless it's  realtalk: infinite jest talks about boston streets a lot. read that
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May 12, 2017 00:16
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General Battuta posted:It's 'the next thing will make me feel good' all the way down. this is life. the key is to recognize that feeling of working towards something as "happiness." that's as good as it gets.
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May 17, 2017 12:40
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yeah, write better words.
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May 20, 2017 03:27
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why does your protag share all your views? is it really necessary to the story? take one of your views and flip it, then give that to the char. it'll force you to write poo poo you wouldn't say. It'll force you to start thinking of them as a different person. the more you can imagine your characters as people, the more your brain will start to fill in those gaps. We pretty much have vast amounts of brain computational power dedicated to determining what others are thinking, and how they might act. writing fiction taps into this. as soon as your protag starts doing poo poo you wouldn't do, it forces your brain to start going "OH GOD WHAT MIGHT HE DO? CONSIDER ALL THE POSSIBILITIES IN CASE ONE OF THEM IS 'STAB YOU' SO WE CAN RUN AWAY" people poo poo on me when i say anxiety is beneficial to writing, but it really is.
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May 23, 2017 17:41
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that's no moon, it's a orc
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May 24, 2017 16:53
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Confusing black squiggly writing hard.
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May 30, 2017 15:54
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i love writing openings, it's probably my favorite part of the whole story.
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May 31, 2017 03:41
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imo reading how to write is dumb. just read books/stories instead. it'll do you better in the long run. gently caress how somebody else thinks i should write. I GONNA DO ME
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May 31, 2017 14:53
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get into their psyche. either A. They believe in supernatural poo poo, and so it's not really a surprise, and what use is calling the cops on a ghost, etc? you'll be locked up and thrown in the crazy house! no, better to deal with this yourself or B. They don't believe in supernatural poo poo, and spend most of their time in denial until it's too late and they're in the thick of it. i believe cellphones have really hosed over a lot of good story opportunities. silence of the lambs is ruined for me because one of the biggest build up moments is when she asks to use his phone at the end. ugh.
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Jun 1, 2017 15:50
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how can i go to the police when i am the police?!
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Jun 1, 2017 22:10
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pretty soon we all will
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Jun 8, 2017 23:32
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what about steampunk?
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Jun 15, 2017 23:48
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what's your opinion on sex with your dad?
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Jun 16, 2017 03:29
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Cashcrab is probably just another systran alt. Free cache cab
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Jul 23, 2017 05:54
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i begin every story with a training montage.
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Jul 24, 2017 22:23
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write the thing and see if it is good and works as a story and if not start over
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Jul 25, 2017 00:49
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well you seem to have no problems typing up larges amounts of words, so just keep going lil buddy!
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Jul 25, 2017 07:43
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Naerasa posted:That is gonna make things real complicated in a story about a character coming to terms with being a gay "ladies whip your dick out" 
crabrock fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Aug 28, 2017 |
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Aug 28, 2017 19:39
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here are some fantasy titles i came up with for you: SWORD TROMBONE SEASONAL VESTIBULE THE OWNER OF A VARIABLE AMOUNT OF THINGS THE REVERSE ECLIPSE GONE BONES LAFFY TAFFY GOBLIN SLAYER VALEDICTORIAN KNIGHT WIRELESS TREBUCHET THE JOY OF IMPROPER FOOD SANITATION A LIFE DEFINED BY BUBBLES HUGE JACKMAN THE GREENTHUMB WIZARD'S GROWING DIARY WHET HOT AURTHURIAN SUMMER EQUESTRIAN FINESSE UNITED STEAKS PIG WHIP THE PERILS OF THE FACE HUNT THE STORM THAT WAS CANCELED
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Aug 28, 2017 19:53
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Sorry guys, that list was 45 years in the making and I don't have any more fantasy titles to share.
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Aug 29, 2017 16:50
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anime was right posted:i got one i have multiple publications tyvm
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Aug 29, 2017 18:56
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it's just all articles, adjectives, adverbs and prepositions now. "A happily, cheery polkadotted around. Red, blue. The godly ghostly underneath." -a famous book, probably
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Aug 30, 2017 18:49
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Well I mean, at least you get what you're supposed to be doing re: story structure. As for making likable characters, just try to think of people you like and why do you like them? You have to think of characters as more than just a plot device to achieve/do something. They're PEOPLE who want things and have a whole history that has led them up unto the beginning of your story. You mention character flaws, which is one of the big ones, but instead of thinking of a flaw as "this thing i am directly addressing in this story" think of it as "this thing that has plagued this person their whole loving life and it's just who they are now." Then you tell the story through that lens. But don't make them mopey jesus christ. Just because people have flaws doesn't mean they whine about it the whole story. people like characters with flaws because of how they succeed and persist IN SPITE of those flaws, not because of them. I think I've enjoyed a modicum of success in TD because I don't really have a plot in mind, usually. I just think of something that I'd like to write about, then throw a character at it. Most of the time I think "man, i have a great plot idea" it ends up falling flat (probably because it feels forced). almost nobody ends up where they thought they'd end up, because life throws shitloads of problems at you and you have to make choices. same with your characters. so depending on what type of character you're trying to write, they'll react to challenges in different ways. if you already think you know HOW the challenge will be overcome, then you're not really allowing any room for a character to develop, you're just writing a plot summary with some pronouns stuck in it. I'd suggest writing little character vignettes for a little bit. Just make up a dude and throw stuff at him to see how he'll react. think "how would somebody I know handle this? how would I handle this? what is a way this has been handled in other stories, and can i play with that?" also twists suck. the ending should be telegraphed out so that when it happens the person says "of course it ends this way" even though (hopefully) they didn't think of it because they were too busy just enjoying the ride. also make your characters humble because cocky know it alls are annoying. the only cocky know it alls that are entertaining either have a shitload of charm or get shown to be wrong and accept it (humble again) crabrock fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Sep 6, 2017 |
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Sep 6, 2017 17:42
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i saw that and thought about it, but i'm guessing to win you need a pro-UBI story and tbf that sounds really boring. like as a plot point. UBI as a background might be ok but a whole story about that is dumb
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Sep 11, 2017 16:48
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this is the opening of mine, which i think we can all agree is going to get me that sweet, sweet 12k prize Since congress and passed universal basic income, Carlos had not gotten a papercut. “Good thing I do not have to cash all those cheques,” he said Britishly, now that he had the money to subsist on more than American dialect.
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Sep 11, 2017 18:23
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it's not really about how the foxes gently caress, it's about the emotions that are going on while they gently caress. you don't have to describe all the details of fox loving if you explore your character's reaction to the fox loving.quote:Bobby ran into the forest and was immediately treated to the site of two of his mom's coats tussling with each other. "Oh I guess those are in real life foxes," he said, watching them loving. He had never seen foxes gently caress before, and he thought back to all the times he had watched himself gently caress in a mirror, and how similar it seemed, because of all the body hair. crabrock fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Sep 15, 2017 |
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Sep 15, 2017 16:57
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Especially and quite are garbage words. If you delete them your story will be 99.99% the same I have to go back and delete "just" out of my stories
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Sep 16, 2017 07:45
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Just write your story leaving that poo poo in, and remove it in editing.
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Sep 16, 2017 18:57
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Burkion posted:Also don't play things too close to the chest as I found out! it's a fine balance that everybody fails now and again. better to skirt too close to the line than to make it painfully obvious and on-the-nose. in reality, you'd have many beta readers, and if they weren't getting something you could add a few more hints after, whereas if they're like "omg i know," you have to cut out sometimes large portions of your story, and likely your story is filled with the obvious because you were "worried" and made it terrible.
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Sep 20, 2017 18:32
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if you have a TD losertar and then you end up winning somebody will usually buy you a new one because we're proud of you
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Sep 22, 2017 05:15
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A good question I got asked is "Why do you want to write this? What are you trying to say?" So before I write my stories I ask "why do I want to tell people this story?" like, am I mad about something? scared of some future i've dreamed up? worried about how others might see me? those all become qualities i give my characters/stories. I figure if that's stuff i'm thinking about, probably other people are thinking about that stuff too, and might identify with it. so take your concepts and plug them into that context. WHY do you want to focus on this idea you have? You might have to tweak the idea a bit to get it to fit, but it's doable. Like if you want to write a scifi/fantasy story that deals with aliens and crystals with magical powers think about it in terms of "I'm worried I won't ever make enough money to live comfortably while everybody else around me seems to be doing pretty well. am i just stupid, or is there something i'm missing here?" then that turns to "This one guy collects magical crystals to harvest their energy but some aliens come in and take most of them and he has to get them back but in the end the real magic was inside him all along he just had to believe in himself" type deal. don't steal my magical crystal story idea tho ®me
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Oct 3, 2017 20:26
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magnificent7 posted:I love commas and hate that the crits have made me doubt my comma love do what you want, just do it sparingly. save it for the times when you REALLY need to use all those commas because the runon rambling nature of the sentence is the only tone that makes sense. semicolons are formal, i try to only use them in like, exposition prose. em dashes are good for a complete aside, something that really goes off on a tangent. i'm more apt to put a period and start a new sentence than either of those, i save them for when i need them. the first sentence i think is fine, the second i would split into two.
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Oct 23, 2017 17:51
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Phil Moscowitz posted:Or this: agree on all points
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Oct 23, 2017 19:43
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Simbyotic posted:Can someone explain to me why I lost this last TD? Apart from some awful punctuation issues, and a weird phrases or two - I shouldn't have posted it that early, I've learned my lesson, - I actually quite like my little story. left you some feedback in TD https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3803906&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=93#post477701157
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Oct 24, 2017 20:36
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Exmond posted:After my 6th loss/DM in a row I have to be missing something. The feedback from TD has been good, but apparently not good enough :P. haven't read your stuff but saw your post in TD with your goals. here is my advice: A good thing to do to get back to some basics is to "write like hemmingway." What you're gonna do here is write very short, easy-to-read sentences. You're going to cut out almost all adjectives and adverbs, and instead you're going to focus on nouns and verbs. You're going to write about human interaction: two characters that have a connection. Do these things, and it'll be easier to focus on writing something that doesn't suck. You don't need big ideas or fancy words and your writing can still be powerful. I'll crit this very small portion of your story with this in mind. quote:The punk ignored my instructions and ducked behind a again, focus on verbs and nouns, make them sing. say poo poo that matters. get in this guy's head. You gotta really feel this character. You're not trying to emulate poo poo you seen on TV or a movie, you're trying to boil down something bordering on truth from the stew of feces that is life. quote:The punk scoffed at my order. He yanked the crying girl by her ponytail and they disappeared behind a rusted, animatronic Brontosaurus. I stopped to catch my breath, holding my hip. The irony of a broken, ancient dinosaur getting in the way was not lost on me. I sucked down a lungful of air and chased after them. A small part of my brain nagged at me that I didn’t have to be here. crabrock fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Oct 25, 2017 |
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Oct 25, 2017 00:28
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feedmyleg posted:Danny raced his bicycle through the backstreets of Buttfield toward the large tree on the edge of city limits he'd taken to calling Jimtree. He parked his lover next to a sultry red mailbox, then circled the tree to find a hidden series of pine boards nailed all the way up the back like some creepy s&m poo poo. With way too much effort, being both tiny and fat, he scaled the makeshift ladder up onto the platform and walked over to the the knotty, crooked door and pushed the buzzer, which played the Dukes of Hazzard theme. Fixed
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Dec 1, 2017 17:18
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 06:29 |
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Social niceties.
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Dec 3, 2017 19:41
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