the_sea_hag posted:

Hello! I have a project that's in its very early stages (it's been an RP line since last October and I'm working with my cowriter to get it in shape as a romance novel) and I'd like to see if I can get any feedback on how I should talk about the character before I start seeking out a sensitivity reader. I am a queer cis woman.

My character, Y, started the story as gender non-conforming amab, but through rereading what I have so far it's becoming clear to me that Y's past and experience of gender would fit a trans woman well. So I'm at a crossroads:

a) Has Y not come to realize herself as a woman yet? If so, I would be putting her coming out close to the end of the book if not in the epilogue. My problem is that she would be deadnamed and referred to with incorrect pronouns throughout most of the narrative. So I'm questioning how this would impact my audience; if you are trans, how would it impact your reading and enjoyment of the story if, at the end, Y came out as trans? (Just an immediate response is what I'm looking for here.)

It also puts forth the question that I would really like to ask if I take this route: when I'm talking about Y, should I consistently refer to her with she/her pronouns conversationally, even if I'm talking about points in the novel before her coming out? I mainly don't want to piss off my sensitivity reader. IRL I retroactively refer to the trans people in my life by their proper pronouns when talking their lives pre-transition, but I'm not sure if this would make talking about Y confusing to an outside party.

b) Should I just make Y trans throughout the story? This would mean that, at the beginning of the story, she's living as a man because she can't afford to pass/is afraid of the danger that living as a woman poses in her social environment. In passages from her perspective, she would be referring to herself by her name, but everyone including her love interest would be deadnaming her and calling her by the wrong pronouns. This would probably be for the first three or so chapters before she comes out to her love interest and lives as a woman for the rest of the novel. If you're trans, how would the shift in pronouns impact your experience reading the story? If you're cis, how do you think the shift in pronouns/name impact your reading? (Again, just an immediate response/opinion is what I'm looking for here.)

If these are questions that garner less than simple answers/a longer conversation, I am willing to compensate for the time of anyone who wants to have a private discussion as an investment in making my story better. PM me and we'll hash out the details.