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Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Welcome to the thread where we discuss and make fun of the exceptionally bad but also ridiculously bad games that have been releasing on Steam since Valve stopped giving a gently caress about Greenlight and opened the floodgates. Worst shovelware you've seen in your entire life, "this is totally not the dev's fetish", games that you can't even launch, horrific art and writing, stuff like that.

This is the thread equivalent of the awful Skyrim/Fallout mods threads so only post stuff that is actually hilariously bad, nobody gives a gently caress that you think Fallout 4 is trash, holy poo poo and I'll ban you for smug-posting something like that.

Thread rules:
  • We're only interested in actually hilariously bad games on Steam. If you're not sure if a game fits this theme then don't post it. Something being anime doesn't mean it's automatically thread material but if it also has bad art and dialogue then sure.
  • Always post a Steam link to the game you present. It's also advisable to post screenshots but it's not required.
  • Don't post your unpopular opinion on how some popular title is actually bad, nobody cares.
  • This is a thread to make fun of bad games so the most important rule is to keep things fun and chill. Talk about games, don't go into slapfights about how PC gaming is bad or some poo poo.
  • You may post content but then always link it and indicate it with the smilie.

An example of things you should post:

Holy poo poo, check out Miner Ultra Adventures. The video is a pro-click.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVBcUkH1X0g

Palpek fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2017 around 09:31

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Jamfrost
Jul 20, 2013

Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn't right here.

Soiled Meat

Broadsword: Age of Chilvary

There's just something really odd with the animations and the jump cuts with arrows. Truly a worthy competitor to the Total war series.

Have a Youtube link to the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PKO_-uf2oQ

Quest For Glory II
Dec 17, 2003



http://store.steampowered.com/app/481600/

"Characters you will want to hug or... squeeze the neck"

check out this sweet map

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Quest For Glory II posted:

check out this sweet map


drat, Zybourne Clock guys developed another game?

Quest For Glory II
Dec 17, 2003



I still think about bookworld

Stexils
Jun 4, 2008



Palpek posted:

drat, Zybourne Clock guys developed another game?



when i see this every time i think the center says "RACISM" for a second

Stexils
Jun 4, 2008



Quest For Glory II posted:

I still think about bookworld

"bookworld"

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

erhecktile disfunction

Lipstick Apathy

Quest For Glory II posted:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/481600/

"Characters you will want to hug or... squeeze the neck"

check out this sweet map



"More than 3 types of crazy"

Bland RPG Maker games with the standard graphics packages feel like cheating. Sure, they're bad but there are hundreds of them and they all look the same except for the hilariously bad character portraits. You have to dig deep through that pile for the truly bad ones, like this "retro graphics" game with a custom battle system that looks like they were trying to rip off Undertale and failed horribly

http://store.steampowered.com/app/559990

duckfarts
Jul 2, 2010

~ shameful ~







Soiled Meat

Palpek posted:

Welcome to the thread where we discuss and make fun of the exceptionally bad but also ridiculously bad games that have been releasing on Steam since Valve stopped giving a gently caress about Greenlight and opened the floodgates. Worst shovelware you've seen in your entire life, "this is totally not the dev's fetish", games that you can't even launch, horrific art and writing, stuff like that.

This is the thread equivalent of the awful Skyrim/Fallout mods threads so only post stuff that is actually hilariously bad, nobody gives a gently caress that you think Fallout 4 is trash, holy poo poo and I'll ban you for smug-posting something like that.

Thread rules:
  • We're only interested in actually hilariously bad games on Steam. If you're not sure if a game fits this theme then don't post it. Something being anime doesn't mean it's automatically thread material but if it also has bad art and dialogue then sure.
  • Always post a Steam link to the game you present. It's also advisable to post screenshots but it's not required.
  • Don't post your unpopular opinion on how some popular title is actually bad, nobody cares.
  • This is a thread to make fun of bad games so the most important rule is to keep things fun and chill. Talk about games, don't go into slapfights about how PC gaming is bad or some poo poo.
  • You may post content but then always link it and indicate it with the smilie.

An example of things you should post:

Holy poo poo, check out Miner Ultra Adventures. The video is a pro-click.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVBcUkH1X0g

the video is terrible, but it looks like they did in fact try to make something that's actually a game, which is saying a lot considering its peers

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016



Quest For Glory II posted:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/481600/

"Characters you will want to hug or... squeeze the neck"

check out this sweet map



I would stay the gently caress away from blue shell beach.

Ikari Worrier
Jul 23, 2004



Soiled Meat

How about an abandoned early access game with flipped assets?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/375510/

Just look at these great screenshots!



Rirse
May 6, 2006

Mei #1 Fan



Are the bad shovelwares games that came out pre-Green Light allowed to talk about? I don't mean Bad Rats, but stuff like Horrid Henry and Eternity Child?

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Good to see that honey boo boo is still getting work.

Rirse posted:

Are the bad shovelwares games that came out pre-Green Light allowed to talk about? I don't mean Bad Rats, but stuff like Horrid Henry and Eternity Child?
Sure, if it's not something overdone like Secret of the Magic Crystals then I have nothing against it.

Rirse
May 6, 2006

Mei #1 Fan



Palpek posted:

Good to see that honey boo boo is still getting work.

Sure, if it's not something overdone like Secret of the Magic Crystals then I have nothing against it.

Yeah that what I meant about not stuff like Bad Rats.

And as I mentioned, Eternity's Child is one of the very first third games to appear on Steam and also awful. I got gifted it a long time ago so I know first hand it bad.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/19500/



I mean the art isn't bad for when it was released compare to say Miner Ultra Adventures, but it barely works at all. Think I couldn't even get into the game, as the main menu is just busted.

Ikari Worrier
Jul 23, 2004



Soiled Meat

Do you like default assets, carrying around a music box(???) and getting mauled by a member of Blue Man Group with psoriasis? Then have I got a game for you!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAlSANIBVSU

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014




Lipstick Apathy

Age of Barbarian Extended Cut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvYV878vUJE

It's kind of awesome in that B Movie style but still a pretty crappy game.


In the same vein

Bad rear end Babes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqI4WRQg_fI

big nipples big life fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2017 around 18:41

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Stexils posted:

"bookworld"
"Bookworld" was supposed to be pretty hardcore:

Bieeardo
Aug 21, 2000

Someone bold, someone blue, someone borrowed, someone new...


Grimey Drawer

Rirse posted:

Yeah that what I meant about not stuff like Bad Rats.

And as I mentioned, Eternity's Child is one of the very first third games to appear on Steam and also awful. I got gifted it a long time ago so I know first hand it bad.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/19500/



I mean the art isn't bad for when it was released compare to say Miner Ultra Adventures, but it barely works at all. Think I couldn't even get into the game, as the main menu is just busted.

I got Eternity's Child when it came out, lured by the promise of a river of free upgrades and a story-filled campaign and... all I got was a badly animated platformer with abysmal collision detection. It was pretty, in a whimsical, Burtonesque way, but it played like garbage and the developer tore himself in two like Rumplestiltskin and vanished when players complained and bad reviews came in.

Ragdoll Kung-Fu wasn't much better.

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004



I wonder how much kickstarter money it would take to get obsidian to make zybourne clock for real

Anil Dasharez0ne
Sep 9, 2016

Can't Snuff The Guff


lazorexplosion posted:

I would stay the gently caress away from blue shell beach.

Just stay slightly in second place and you'll be fine.

asmodeusvivivi
Sep 7, 2011


Ol Cactus Dick posted:

Age of Barbarian Extended Cut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvYV878vUJE

It's kind of awesome in that B Movie style but still a pretty crappy game.


In the same vein

Bad rear end Babes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqI4WRQg_fI

Thanks for letting me know these exist.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Bieeardo posted:

Ragdoll Kung-Fu wasn't much better.

Wait, this actually came out? I remember reading a thread about it here back in like 2004, but I never saw or heard anything about it ever again so I just assumed it was never completed.
I guess that fact is a testament to its quality.

The Moon Monster
Dec 30, 2005
THIS CUSTOM TITLE WILL COME IN HANDY WHILE LURKING


Palpek posted:

Holy poo poo, check out Miner Ultra Adventures. The video is a pro-click.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVBcUkH1X0g

I would have been all about this poo poo in 1996.

Bieeardo
Aug 21, 2000

Someone bold, someone blue, someone borrowed, someone new...


Grimey Drawer

raditts posted:

Wait, this actually came out? I remember reading a thread about it here back in like 2004, but I never saw or heard anything about it ever again so I just assumed it was never completed.
I guess that fact is a testament to its quality.

Steam library says I bought it near the end of 2005, but... yeah. The weird low budget kung-fu/blaxploitation cutscenes were fun, but the gameplay was just too gimmicky to be fun unless you were very good with a mouse and highly resistant to carpal tunnel.

It was cool that it launched with support for third-party skins. Less cool that one of the first was a naked Krystal from Starfox.

RVWinkle
Aug 24, 2004

In relating the circumstances which have led to my confinement within this refuge for the demented, I am aware that my present position will create a natural doubt of the authenticity of my narrative.

Nap Ghost

Ol Cactus Dick posted:

Age of Barbarian Extended Cut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvYV878vUJE

It's kind of awesome in that B Movie style but still a pretty crappy game.

I've had a sinful lust for this game for about 6 months now. I think it's because the game reminds me Rastan, a garbage game that somehow managed to be in every arcade I visited in my childhood. Age of Barbarian is currently on sale but I don't think I'm man enough to buy it..

HardDiskD
May 6, 2009

HaHAHhehehehuhehahehhahahhaue



Grimey Drawer

Ainsley McTree posted:

I wonder how much kickstarter money it would take to get obsidian to make zybourne clock for real

Like a less gross version of swap.avi?

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004



Ol Cactus Dick posted:

Age of Barbarian Extended Cut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvYV878vUJE

It's kind of awesome in that B Movie style but still a pretty crappy game.


I think I've seen concept art for this game on the side of a van

(and I kiiiinda want to get it, but not badly enough to have any of my steam friends know that I bought it)

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014




Lipstick Apathy

It's definitely one that looks to be in the so bad it's good category.

Maybe if it hits a buck on sale I will pick it up

I love that they picked the dick attack for the thumbnail

big nipples big life fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2017 around 01:56

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch


Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga reminds me of a late 90s shovelware PC title in many ways.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ritb0PQ5LOU

It was 50 cents during the Steam sale and a bunch of people bought and reviewed it ironically of course. A "friend" of mine gifted it to me and it's complete loving poo poo.

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

Mass Effect is good


Rapid Squirrel, also known as Crazy Squirrel on the actual title screen, is an incomprehensible Russian tablet game that is probably part of a money laundering scheme and is so bad that Steam themselves actually delisted it.

FirstAidKite
Nov 8, 2009




Here's a censored hentai game that just showed up on steam.

Pale Moon Crisis





Really this post has been an excuse for me to remind everybody in here who missed their anatomy classes that breasts are not lungs, they do not expand like balloons when you breathe

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 26, 2007




Ainsley McTree posted:

I wonder how much kickstarter money it would take to get obsidian to make zybourne clock for real

I was going to post a link to the followup to the other Games forum landmark goon project, The Demon Rush, but it turns out it is a Sony exclusive(?!)

The White Dragon
Nov 14, 2007

a dragon that is
uh

FirstAidKite posted:

Really this post has been an excuse for me to remind everybody in here who missed their anatomy classes that breasts are not lungs, they do not expand like balloons when you breathe



in the grim darkness of the future, lady cops have extra lungs grafted into their funbags

ugh you're so loving ignorant sometimes kite

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch


All Games > Nudity Games

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

erhecktile disfunction

Lipstick Apathy

FirstAidKite posted:

Really this post has been an excuse for me to remind everybody in here who missed their anatomy classes that breasts are not lungs, they do not expand like balloons when you breathe



That's how people breathe in Thermidor, which may never show up in this thread because it probably won't get made.

Rirse posted:

Are the bad shovelwares games that came out pre-Green Light allowed to talk about? I don't mean Bad Rats, but stuff like Horrid Henry and Eternity Child?

I'd be down for talking about things like Gothic 4 ArcaniA, a game so bad the franchise name was cut from the title. I don't remember much about it because it played like poo poo and I gave up half an hour in, but most people hate it.

FirstAidKite
Nov 8, 2009




Yodzilla posted:

All Games > Nudity Games

Interesting choice of portraits in that mansion



e: Spencer? I hardly know her!

e2: Hey everybody, we're all gonna get arklay'd!

e3: TNA-Virus, G-String-Virus, something something the bum-smella coprophiliation

FirstAidKite fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2017 around 04:54

The Moon Monster
Dec 30, 2005
THIS CUSTOM TITLE WILL COME IN HANDY WHILE LURKING


FirstAidKite posted:

Here's a censored hentai game that just showed up on steam.

Pale Moon Crisis


Where can I get that painting for my living room? Talk about a pale moon crisis.

The Moon Monster fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2017 around 11:11

BurritoJustice
Oct 9, 2012



The Moon Monster posted:

Where can I get that painting for my living room?

I believe it's a Rembrandt

Veotax
May 16, 2006



raditts posted:

Wait, this actually came out? I remember reading a thread about it here back in like 2004, but I never saw or heard anything about it ever again so I just assumed it was never completed.
I guess that fact is a testament to its quality.

It was literally the first non-Valve game released on Steam. I remember people getting pissy about other developers getting on Steam.

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Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Ragdoll Kung-Fu: Fists of Plastic for the PS3 was cool, I agree that the PC version sucked though.

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