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Babylon Astronaut
Apr 19, 2012


He's way worse. FATAL is just a game. It's bad and tasteless, but you can avoid it if you want. Zach gang stalks people for years at a time, and coincidentally it's always women or lgbt individuals.

ed: here's a blog about it, to prevent a horrible derail about an rear end in a top hat. He's just part of what makes that game so loving awful.

Babylon Astronaut fucked around with this message at Feb 17, 2017 around 09:21

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Gromit
Aug 15, 2000

I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!


Palpek posted:

This game owns and I'd like to see more like it on Steam.

I can't even see the store page here in Australia. Forever denied the heady delights of jousting.

Hav
Dec 11, 2009


Gromit posted:

I can't even see the store page here in Australia. Forever denied the heady delights of jousting.

NSFW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6VDIrnmi50

It's weird, because it seems right up Australia's street.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

SaviourX posted:

There is no way in hell this belongs in this thread, but I don't want to make a thread OP, so here it is, the answer to all PC games. Pack it all in:

Genital Jousting
http://store.steampowered.com/app/469820/

holy poo poo.
*immediately begins gifting to friends list*

Gromit
Aug 15, 2000

I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!


Steam gave me some errors but it finally got added to my games list. She Bangs The Drums joined hands across the ocean and sent some Genitals to Joust. No more will I look down at myself in despair with this ultimate nob training package at hand!

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011

Gamers are goo-reat!


FirstAidKite
Nov 8, 2009




Accurate


E: except atelier looks good imo

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


lmao

Dizz
Feb 14, 2010


L L



Jesus christ

exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?

- Incubus



Doctor Rope

FirstAidKite posted:

Accurate


E: except atelier looks good imo

atelier sophie is a good game and is just a pc release of a ps4 game


should've put tales of berseria imo

Mokinokaro
Sep 11, 2001

NIGHTMARE EYES


Grimey Drawer

Berseria is good too though.

Zestiria however would belong. That ones dire.

HGH
Dec 20, 2011


I highly appreciate Minecraft Story Mode being included amongst all the anime.

Fargin Icehole
Feb 18, 2011

Pet me.


Furi Is getting one more boss fight in March for 4 bucks. I don't care, I'm taking this offer

Jamfrost
Jul 20, 2013

Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn't right here.

Soiled Meat

Why is there no gif of King Neptune eating SWAT 4 over and over again?

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012



I found a real doozie a while back on Steam, so I decided to record some first impressions and accidentally finished the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz6UozGaglE

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

Mass Effect is good


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUKVXVe0SbE

Lord Lambeth
Dec 7, 2011



raditts posted:

holy poo poo.
*immediately begins gifting to friends list*

can confirm that it is a great game at parties

also that PUA game someone mentioned a little while ago
http://store.steampowered.com/app/551780/

Lord Lambeth fucked around with this message at Feb 20, 2017 around 05:08

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

This user's endless pedantry is kept grey.

Key words: nutrition, philosophy, regulatory science, law, shallow realpolitik, fake cheese, game design fanfiction.

Lord Lambeth posted:

can confirm that it is a great game at parties

also that PUA game someone mentioned a little while ago
http://store.steampowered.com/app/551780/

I have this schtick of adding the worst of steam to my wishlist, but I've finally found something I won't touch.

Ekster
Jul 18, 2013



Teach me the art of neg hitting through VR, baby.

Lord Lambeth
Dec 7, 2011



I'm sort of glad that game exists because it makes me feel better about my life choices. But at the same time, gross.

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004



Before clicking I assumed that would be some poorly illustrated visual novel or something but the fact that it has real people in it just makes me sad

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch


Oh good it's a new Dont B Nervous Talking 2 Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1w3tMfdtT0#t=590s

Schubalts
Nov 25, 2007

People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life,
I think I've gone too far.


Someone should just remake Get Tiffany, instead of all that. Multiplayer, competitive dating sims could be an untapped goldmine.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


It's 2017 and Castle Werewolf 3D is here.



quote:

The game is made in the tradition of the classic first-person shooters - especially Wolfenstein 3D. In the game you will have to wait interesting 13 levels of huge castle (dark dungeon, beautiful officers' rooms, scary laboratory, bloody ritual temple and others.), finding secrets (sometimes the walls are not what they seem), various monsters, 6 types of weapons, a lot of bloody effects

This game has everything. Not an Imperial Eagle:



Fat not Nazis:



Bad Rats:



Not Nazi orcs:



Everything's fine, why are you asking:



Somebody page the retro FPS games thread.

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008


Lipstick Apathy

Lord Lambeth posted:

can confirm that it is a great game at parties

also that PUA game someone mentioned a little while ago
http://store.steampowered.com/app/551780/

I came in here to link to this game

Cantorsdust
Aug 9, 2008

Infinitely many points, but zero length.

Hot Rope Guy

Who are buying all of these lovely games? Are they profitable? Who's making all these lovely games?

I don't understand this new Steam lovely Game business at all.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


eonwe posted:

I came in here to link to this game

Wamdoodle
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Grimey Drawer


Pfff, if you can't keep her engaged while you get your gear on then it looks like you need to step up your game

ponzicar
Mar 17, 2008


Cantorsdust posted:

Who are buying all of these lovely games? Are they profitable? Who's making all these lovely games?

I don't understand this new Steam lovely Game business at all.

A lot of them look like the work of young teenagers who think that going through the basic tutorial lessons of Unity or some other free development software means that they are now qualified to be a game developer. I'm sure that once they grow up enough to have a bit more self awareness, they'll be quite embarrassed by these "games".

exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?

- Incubus



Doctor Rope

Palpek posted:

It's 2017 and Castle Werewolf 3D is here.




This game has everything. Not an Imperial Eagle:



Fat not Nazis:



Bad Rats:



Not Nazi orcs:



Everything's fine, why are you asking:



Somebody page the retro FPS games thread.

This looks better than Banzai Pecan

CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008


Cantorsdust posted:

Who are buying all of these lovely games? Are they profitable? Who's making all these lovely games?

If they've got trading cards, then game sales would only be part of their potential income. See, devs receive 10% of whatever marketplace actions relating to items received from their game- basically, they get 10% of all transactions involving their trading cards and the like. Sure, you sell a game for only $0.50 (at an permanent 75% discount to attract people looking for 'a good deal'), but if you give players 3-6 trading cards worth $0.10 to $0.25 apiece, then you'll get a massive influx of people buying your cheapo game and selling cards, which in turn would generate deceptively massive amounts of revenue. I have to admit, that if any of these games came up on Steam at extremely low prices and cards, I'd readily buy and Idlemaster them.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


While we're on an FPS roll: The Last Hope: Trump vs Mafia



Just chilling in your skyscraper:



Ok, at least the desk is probably accurate enough:



Meeting with the voters:



Your ultra-modern jet where they apparently replaced all the knobs with touchscreens:



When suddenly (it's still a pretty good depiction of Europe):





We gonna get medieval on their asses:



War, war never changes:

Bruteman
Apr 15, 2003

Can I ask ya somethin', Padre? When I was kickin' your ass back there... you get a little wood?


grabthatpussy.jpg

Ikari Worrier
Jul 23, 2004



Soiled Meat

It's a bold new world out there, folks. One where you are free to swing your Nerf Sword and hit stock combatants in a generic village until you get bored, which takes about 60 seconds. Definitely watch the trailer for this one, but here's a couple screenshots that the developers decided looked better with a ridiculous amount of jpg artifacting:



Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

Mass Effect is good


Cantorsdust posted:

Who are buying all of these lovely games? Are they profitable? Who's making all these lovely games?

I don't understand this new Steam lovely Game business at all.

If you look at a lot of the actual user statistics of these games most of them only ever reach sales figures in triple digits at best. Which makes people like Jim Sterling making videos about how outraged he is by their existence that get hundreds of thousands if not millions of views and lead to this entire ongoing witchhunt about quality control on Steam much more laughable, because if it weren't for streamers bandwagoning on it for views then nobody would even be aware of their existence in the first place.

John Murdoch
May 19, 2009

I have special eyes.

Just think of all the cool stuff I can see.


Ikari Worrier posted:

It's a bold new world out there, folks. One where you are free to swing your Nerf Sword and hit stock combatants in a generic village until you get bored, which takes about 60 seconds. Definitely watch the trailer for this one, but here's a couple screenshots that the developers decided looked better with a ridiculous amount of jpg artifacting:





If you told me these were shots from Catechumen 2, I'd probably believe you.

CommissarMega posted:

If they've got trading cards, then game sales would only be part of their potential income. See, devs receive 10% of whatever marketplace actions relating to items received from their game- basically, they get 10% of all transactions involving their trading cards and the like. Sure, you sell a game for only $0.50 (at an permanent 75% discount to attract people looking for 'a good deal'), but if you give players 3-6 trading cards worth $0.10 to $0.25 apiece, then you'll get a massive influx of people buying your cheapo game and selling cards, which in turn would generate deceptively massive amounts of revenue. I have to admit, that if any of these games came up on Steam at extremely low prices and cards, I'd readily buy and Idlemaster them.

Sales don't even need to come into play, when you can just solicit Greenlight votes for keys and then rake in the trading card money from all of the suckers who I have to assume just want the game to get their 15 cents worth of cards and then never actually play it.

John Murdoch fucked around with this message at Feb 22, 2017 around 02:19

Inco
Apr 3, 2009

I have been working out! My modem is broken and my phone eats half the posts I try to make, including all the posts I've tried to make here. I'll try this one more time.

Ikari Worrier posted:

It's a bold new world out there, folks. One where you are free to swing your Nerf Sword and hit stock combatants in a generic village until you get bored, which takes about 60 seconds. Definitely watch the trailer for this one, but here's a couple screenshots that the developers decided looked better with a ridiculous amount of jpg artifacting:





Ahahaha, it's using the same stock HUD elements that Aztecopalyse from a few pages back did.

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012



Palpek posted:

It's 2017 and Castle Werewolf 3D is here.



Loving the inconsistent pixel size from the gun to the interface. Retro means it's okay that I'm sloppy!

Inco posted:

Ahahaha, it's using the same stock HUD elements that Aztecopalyse from a few pages back did.

Aztecalypse is a Game Guru game, they all have the same stock HUD because Game Guru is a glorified level editor for the worst FPS engine ever made.

Guy Mann posted:

If you look at a lot of the actual user statistics of these games most of them only ever reach sales figures in triple digits at best. Which makes people like Jim Sterling making videos about how outraged he is by their existence that get hundreds of thousands if not millions of views and lead to this entire ongoing witchhunt about quality control on Steam much more laughable, because if it weren't for streamers bandwagoning on it for views then nobody would even be aware of their existence in the first place.

The problem is that these poo poo games nobody buys still clog up space and make it harder to find legitimately quality but ultra-low-budget games. The sensible consumer reaction is to buy nothing on Steam that isn't a known quantity, i.e. AAA.

Anarch
Feb 22, 2011

A Purple Tentacle draws near!
Command?


Obidak Software shovelware titles were just removed from Steam. It appears that now Valve also removes the sale of cards/emotes from the marketplace so that banned devs can no longer profit post-ban.

Anarch fucked around with this message at Feb 22, 2017 around 07:23

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END ME SCOOB
Mar 27, 2007

do it DOG wrap it up already are you asleep

would you do it for a scooby snack

finisH ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FUCKING SANDWI
CHES ALREADY YOU SHIT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

Hahahahahaha, damnit. That example you linked is the piece of poo poo someone gifted me a day ago I left idling before I went into work.

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