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Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

FirstAidKite posted:

Just getting right to the point huh
Why mess around when you know your target group?

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Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
It's a thing only quality anime visual novels can pull off :forkbomb:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Triple X Tycoon was in the Groupees Build a Bundle 19 and while it won't be released until June 2017, Steam keys were sent out the other day.

Can't wait to check out the AI generated talent, quirks and personalities!

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
And there is a new game coming later this year, that fits into the same category: The Quest for Achievements.


quote:

The Quest for Achievements

is a pixel mini RPG which will feature over 1000 steam achievements to Find - when you "find" them in game, You will be rewarded with a real life achievement! - COOL RIGHT?
Think of the steam achievements like Pokemon!!


Explore a huge living world, level up, find new items and weapons, explore dungeons and much more!

The story:

After a long week of working hard you sit down to get lost in the world of gaming, maybe catch up on some leveling. get that last achievement you have been struggling with, when you realize your steam games have lost all their achievements!. WHATS GOING ON? WHOES DOING THIS? - you need to find out and save your steam account!


Extras:

- Full controller support

- Steam trading cards

Q: What do you want to do tonight?
A: I don't know. Maybe catch up on some leveling.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

It was probably me who had it on the wishlist, but I just got it as a gift.
Not apologizing for liking casual puzzle games, and also Pixel Puzzle Anime has worse pictures in it.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
or Triple X Tycoon®

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Humphreys posted:

How awful is 'House Party'? http://steamcommunity.com/app/611790
Not sure if I wanna drop the $15 for it and if it is 'hilarious bad' I will but if it is unplayable I just cannot justify it.
I'm still waiting for Kragger's review :colbert:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
:nexus: PooSky: ROFL Edition :nexus:

Looks like a solid title!





quote:

You live in a cloudless country on the special clouds. But they came, and you run away.. You have no choice. And you can not win. You can only run for fun these assfaces. How long do you survive? What will be your last race?

This game is an allegory. You are Pisyun who runs to a meeting of a good game. Obstacles are indie projects, which every day more and more. You try, you search, but every time you stammer on another "masterpiece".
The game is specially performed in the most beloved program of indie developers and it is at this "level"

Features:
- Peculiar protagonist, who expresses the identity of a community;
- A unique antagonist that you will remember for a long time;
- Rhythmic soundtrack;
- Top Achivements;
- Deep sense.

Oh and there is even a DLC: PooSky - Artbook "Great statements by Capitain Pooper"

quote:

Will made a complete list of the military statements of the captain Pooper in different languages. At the moment, the only English. Later will be added Russian, Chinese, German, Italian.The same will be added to the French national white flag.

All quotes will follow the game.

All coincidences are accidental and events are fiction, do not try to do it again.

Size 940x500.

Fart of Presto fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Oct 10, 2017

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Rectus posted:

I'm starting to think Greenlight was a good thing, relatively. At least the asset filippers had to pay for every shovelware game they put out, even if it was to botters.
Are there actually any confirmations that what is released now is through Steam Direct (or whatever is called) or if they are still working through their 2500+ Greenlight backlog, Valve stated would be released "over the next few months"?

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Can't wait to play MILF



quote:

MILF is a game where you play a good looking female trying to collect gold to escape out of a disgusting place trying to reach a very special ending..

:forkbomb:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
To add to the shitposting...

It seems like the people behind PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS are really cashing in on their success, by releasing a spin-off:

PLAYERUNKN4WN: Zombie

quote:

Did you wonder what would happen if humanity disappeared from the face of the Earth? No? Alas, but this is not a dream - it's reality.

You are one of the few survivors, a battered virus that turns people into zombies.

The open world will not let you get bored, as it contains a lot of mysteries.

* Find weapons
* collect fruits and vegetables
* take the meat of animals or take them into account.
* Fight the zombies.

And it's single-player only.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Unlocking for purchase in an hour, it's, with the developers own words "a nice classic game".

Snake: Road to apple





quote:

Snake: Road to Apple snake is a nice classic game. Eating apples, earn points. Earn a maximum of points!

Simple and addictive gameplay
Use arrow keys to move
A lot of achievements to unlock!

How can this poo poo still end up on Steam?

Oh...

quote:

A lot of achievements to unlock!

:ughh:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Some edgy poo poo here: D̴O̵N̸T̸ ̵P̴L̸A̵Y̸ ̸T̴H̴I̷S̸ ̵G̸A̸M̵E̶.̶E̵X̷E̸

quote:

Early Access description posted:

Why Early Access?
“S̴Y̸S̷T̸E̷M̷ ̴E̶R̷R̸O̶R̷
̷D̴A̶T̷A̷ ̵C̵O̸R̴R̵U̴T̴E̴D̷
̶P̸R̴O̷G̷R̷A̷M̴ ̵I̸N̶C̶O̴M̷P̴L̵E̵T̶E̵
̸
̸A̸W̵A̷I̵T̶I̸N̴G̷ ̸M̵A̸N̷U̴A̷L̷ ̶R̸E̵S̷T̶O̷R̵I̸N̸G̷.̴.̶.̵”

Approximately how long will this game be in Early Access?
“N̵O̸ ̷I̴N̷F̶O̷R̴M̶A̷T̷I̸O̷N̷ ̵F̶O̸U̷N̵D̷
̶T̶I̸M̸E̴ ̷E̷Q̵U̵A̴L̵S̷ ̵U̷S̴E̴R̴S̴ ̷I̴N̶P̴U̸T̵”

How is the full version planned to differ from the Early Access version?
“N̶O̸ ̷C̸O̷R̵R̸U̶P̸T̷I̴O̴N̶
̷N̶O̴ ̶D̵A̶T̵A̵ ̶L̷O̴S̶S̸
̵N̶O̸ ̷E̴R̷R̵O̸R̴S̶
̷
̶F̸U̶L̵L̴ ̷A̷C̵C̶E̷S̸S̶ ̷T̴O̴ ̸.̶.̷.̷
̴L̵O̴A̶D̵I̶N̷G̸.̶.̵.̸”

What is the current state of the Early Access version?
“A̵N̷A̶L̷Y̸S̵I̷N̷G̸…̴
̷L̶O̷S̵T̴ ̶D̴A̸T̴A̵ ̷9̶0̸%̸ ̷
̴R̵E̴S̴T̴O̴R̷I̸N̴G̷ ̸B̴A̸C̴K̵U̷P̴.̷.̵.̴
̵A̷C̴T̴I̴V̵A̷T̴I̸N̶G̵ ̴B̸A̵C̷K̶D̵O̶O̴R̷ ̸B̵O̸O̴T̸.̶.̴.̶
̷
̵G̸A̸M̷E̷ ̷R̸E̵A̶D̶Y̵”

Will the game be priced differently during and after Early Access?
“N̵O̸ ̴I̵N̶F̶O̵R̸M̷A̴T̵I̷O̷N̸ ̷F̵O̸U̴N̷D̴
̸C̴H̷A̸N̶G̴E̴S̸ ̸A̵R̸E̷ ̸P̷O̸S̷S̸I̵B̴L̵E̶”

How are you planning on involving the Community in your development process?
“A̶W̵A̸I̴T̸I̴N̷G̸ ̴U̸S̴E̸R̴ ̶I̷N̴P̴U̷T̷.̴.̵.̴”



Developer: u̷n̸k̴n̶o̴w̶n̵
Publisher: u̷n̸k̴n̶o̴w̶n̵
Release Date: 0̵1̴0̵0̶1̷0̶0̵0̴ ̴0̶0̶1̶1̶0̷0̶1̵1̴ ̸0̶0̶1̶1̵0̶1̷0̴0̵ ̴0̶1̷0̸1̵0̷0̴1̶0̴ ̴0̷0̴1̷1̶0̶1̵1̷1̵ ̵

RECOMMENDED:
OS: Windows 10 R̵A̷I̶D̷ ̶C̷R̶A̶C̸K̷
Processor: Intel Core I X
Memory: 64 GB RAM
Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce TITAN V
DirectX: Version 12
Network: Broadband Internet connection
Storage: 5 GB available space
Additional Notes: ̵Z̶E̴R̴O̸-̵D̴A̸Y̶
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Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry



These girls are not really good at handling milk

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Helldivers is a pretty drat fun 4 player co-op by the developers of Magicka and Gauntlet.

Sure it's not perfect, though the Overwhelmingly Positive and Very Positive scores should give an indication that it's not a turd like babby's first shooter, Rise High, stupid poo poo like this clicker called I want cookies or Early Access pimple teen boy magnet Milky Boobs.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
I always find it amusing when the devs use their personal profile, and use lovely gamer names like DeRaNgEr when posting about kids games like that Gilbert one.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Sundae posted:



It's the simulator you've all been waiting for. http://store.steampowered.com/app/658600/Lawnmower_Game/




EDIT:Tero Lunkka is a goldmine of bad games. http://store.steampowered.com/search/?publisher=Tero%20Lunkka

Perhaps you'd like to try MUSTACHE POLITICS SHOOTER? "Shoot Zombie politics They defend money treasure."

Can confirm these games are poo poo beyond normal turd levels.
I just checked out the ones I have:
Finnish Roller: Supposedly a puzzle game like The Ball, but every level I entered, the ball was in the start (or end?) position of the level, and I was at the opposite side and couldn't move the ball or myself.

Inferno Puzzle: A simple Match-3 game, with the exact same layout for all levels and no indication why you suddenly ended the level.

Nash Racing: Not a big fan of sim-racers, but while this one tries to be a sim-racer, with garage/tuning, it really just is a shining example of Valve letting anything onto Steam these days - even demo games with random artwork made in the late 90's.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Radio Paranoia posted:

VR is a scourge (probably :nws: depending on whether you work night shift at the poser model factory)
The best part is the reviews

Negative review posted:

This just doesn't feel like it's worth 11$. The boobs don't look natural, they look saggy and have an awkward shape. They look like Madonna's cone bra from the 80's. The skins don't look good either, looks like they haven't washed themselves in weeks. There's no physics involved, their arms go right through their torsos. Their elbow and knee bend in an awkward looking way. The music is awkward, and so is their dancing.

Negative review posted:

Got som' jiggly boobs, that's a plus. A negative is that while I was slappin' the salami, the boobs bugged out and became erect, like really erect. Not nice.
You're better of watching porn online instead of buying this at the current state, all the game is watching a girl dance -
nekkid girl though.

Positive review posted:

3 Girls, 3 outfits, and a fourth no out outfit. 4 diffrent dances and 3 diffrent backgrounds.
It does not disapoint; Almost as good as going to a strip club.

To tell you the truth after about a minute i started thinking... what if the camera on the vr head set was being monitored; Oh #@# i taped that sucka up quick.

This is the future of adult entertainment now them ugly a!@! blow up dolls can get some real use.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Was I really the only one who noticed the prestigious award, this game has won?

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

:eyepop:
Why is this in the terrible games thread

It's an anime visual novel. That genre is, per definition, terrible.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

END ME SCOOB posted:

ORION: Dino Horde
They should have stuck with working on this one. It was a perfectly good and fun, super janky dino-killer coop game.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
We need a NWS/NMS tag but for browsing this thread in a bar while slightly intoxicated.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Kammat posted:

They're having trouble getting this game to release properly. No idea why.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/974420/SEXY_GIRLS/

- naturally moving bust

:nws: https://steamcdn-a.akamaihd.net/steam/apps/974420/extras/ezgif.com-optimize_(2).gif?t=1543738866 :nws:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
How about taking the Japanese cartoon and comic book chat to https://forums.somethingawful.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=27 and instead talk about terrible games like

HotPuzzle:Grils

HotPuzzle:Grils is a simple puzzle game, game pictures are carefully selected by the developers of the picture, come quickly, immersed in the hot beauty map.

The game includes:

20 levels of difficulty
More than 3 hours of gaming experience
20 sexy pictures
melody
27 languages

Thanks for buying HotPuzzle:Grils, the first game of our production team. We will update more pictures of beauty and better content from time to time.

Pictures of the grils are kinda :nws: in that there are oily butts.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
What the gently caress is this?

https://store.steampowered.com/app/886630/Glitch_Pets/



There's even a demo.

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Girls invite you to their world, test your speed and earn points by pressing the keys at the right moment. Unlock new stages by scoring certain amounts of points. If you just want to watch beautiful girls enter the free hands mode and relax.

:forkbomb:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
Can't wait to finally get my wank on!


https://store.steampowered.com/app/1007840/Wanking_Simulator/

The best wanking experience known to mankind, from the comfort of your home. Visit Gay Bay and deliver some delightful changes to the town's community.

You play as Winston Gay, a man whose house was taken away by the corrupt government after being called out for wanking too loud by his neighbours. Now, Winston is on a mission to make everyone in the town pay a price for taking away his home.

Wanking Simulator is a mix of destruction & wanking - you are thrown into a town called Gay Bay consisting of a church (God bless), a number of houses and a few other places, such as high school, a garage etc.
The main goal is to destroy as many things as possible before getting caught by the police and collect points by wanking to the chaos we caused.
You are free to go wherever you want, and destroy anything you want.
Our protagonist is given unlockable superpowers, such as making gravity weaker, spawning a rifle in your panties, teleport etc.

The only sexual content in the game is our main character masturbating. No sexual organs are visible.

semi :nws:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
I don't remember seeing this mentioned, and Nettle Soup just gifted it to me:

Fart Simulator 2018

This would have been my first big game if game makers were a bit more advanced, back when I had a C64. Then again, I was older than 12 when I had that, so probably not.

I did get this achievement though:

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry


I honestly didn't expect a sword wielding Lara Croft when I saw the title Gangsta Woman

The game description is both informative and a full Let's Play:

quote:

player character is wounded Gangsta woman character whose only mission is find life elixir which is hidden somewhere to different levels. Player need avoid dummy zombie army and also end of every levels have big dragon boss, who can fly and breathe fire. Gangsta woman need kill or avoid dragon boss and find life elixir bottle. After finding bottle level are finished and player get level finishing achievement.
Gangsta woman can use sword attacks and also special magic attack. Also few magic bombs and health bottle are available when game starts. After Gangsta woman dies She will respawned to level start.
Player can't jump only rolling and fighting are possible. Also during game player can use character customization like changing skin color, and adjust other body parts and change clothes

If you are into the whole Gangsta universe, you can also grab the Gangsta bundle, which includes classics like Gangsta Sniper and Gangsta Sniper 2: Revenge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Auc0OxlaxoQ

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
If you are a medieval fantasy gangsta, do you hold your sword, axe, morningstar or pike sideways as well?

Does that intimidate a dragon or dummy zombies?

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
MAN STANDING


quote:

The ALFINA GAMERS team together with ALFINA WORLD GAME PUBLISHING are pleased to present a unique game experience. Get ready to challenge nature, incredible dangers, serious enemies, and most importantly - yourself.

MAN STANDING is a survival game in an open, endless world. The player will have to shoulder the heavy burden of the only surviving person in the world who, in a fit of schizophrenic delirium, walks to places that hold memories of untimely people who left this world. But everything is not so simple - in this dangerous journey evil enemies and anomalies will interfere with you. But you will not let them get in your way!

Waiting for you:
Next gen graphics on the most advanced engine of our time
Deep philosophical plot, understandable not only to everyone
Search for your own memories
Exciting battles with representatives of the local fauna
In-game social interaction, you can leave messages to other players
Over forty hours of intense immersive addictive gameplay

It may seem that the game borrows many mechanics from another game - we, of course, are talking about Hevy Reyn. But do not rush to judge! Hevy Reyn has a completely different story - there was a detective maniac (sorry for the spoiler!) And the main character was looking for his children. And there it was necessary to pass all kinds of tests and all that. But we do not have such tests, and there are no maniacs either! And we don’t have qte either. And we have a completely different setting - in Hevy Reyn it’s not a post apocalypse, but we have a post apocalypse (when the world is after the apocalypse!) !. Do you remember the moment in Hevy Reyn when you had to drive in an oncoming car to find your son (Sean)? So there you go! We do not have this moment either! Therefore, please do not say that this game is similar to Hevy Reyn - this is not at all!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Games > Terrible Awful Games: Do not rush to judge!

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry

Zetsubou-san posted:

does the EGS have a shopping cart yet?

But they'll soon have a shopping mall

Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
There is a pretty interesting video from Valve on how the games on the front page are selected

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKo9DtLZl-8

Basically everything, except for the big take-over campaign at the top, is dynamically built, and is a selection of top sellers, top wish list items, curator- and friend recommendations as well as recommendations based on what you have recently played.
While the video is from September 2020, I don't think that much has changed since then.

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Fart of Presto
Feb 9, 2001
Clapping Larry
I saw this article on PC Gamer the other day, and can't believe it has been mentioned yet.

At the time of the article being published, O2Jam Online was the worst rated game ever on Steam, at 4% (it's now at around 9%)

So what makes this rhythm game bad? (snippets taken from the article)
  • The game's currently free-to-play, but forces players to buy songs that they can only keep for either seven days or 30 days. There's no option to permanently unlock a track, with every aspect of the game—including note skins—only being offered to you for a week or a month.
  • It appears to have lifted a large chunk of its UI from the mobile version. The resolution goes no higher than 1920x1080, looking painfully blurry on 1440p monitors. Everything is stretched out and notes are comically large, making the whole thing pretty difficult to look at. We won't even talk about the fact that BPM is misspelt as BMP.
  • There have also been issues with track audio desyncing, making songs incredibly annoying to play.
  • (Key bindings) I could bind them, but then trying to use them would result in an automatic miss.
  • O2Jam Online has, in fact, no online functionality to be seen.
If that wasn't enough, how about this little nugget:
https://twitter.com/TaroNuke/status/1616318956762980354

or this one:
https://twitter.com/TaroNuke/status/1616359247381504000

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