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kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

and we'll all float on okay



Vital information for new NASCAR fans: http://www.clickhole.com/article/11...ale-earnha-5632

There's a Discord server now: https://discord.gg/kg3d2Uu

-----------

MOD EDIT:


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I'm giving the OP about exactly as much effort as it deserves this year. You all know the drill.



Shiny new logo!



Shiny new title sponsor!



Shiny new points system! (explained here)

Here's some links.

Cup Schedule
Xfinity Schedule
Trucks Schedule

Somebody fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2017 around 22:42

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CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



That new thread smell. I am looking forward to my 7th season of...well, this...whatever it's supposed to be now...with the SASCAR hivemind.

We spent time with the Wild Card system, which was actually kinda fun at times. Then we survived Most Extreme Elimination Challenge somehow, and now we've made it to:

kidcoelacanth posted:



Shiny new points system! (explained here)

Yeah, this is the perfect way to encapsulate this visually.

I'm whipped like a horse. Let's go.

Elitist Bitch
Sep 13, 2007





RIP JWT's career.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008



gently caress NASCAR

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

That's it! You have probated me for the last time!


Lipstick Apathy

What is the likelihood of the new points system being "enhanced" before the chase?

mischief
Jun 3, 2003

Fuck everything.



Peanut President posted:

gently caress NASCAR

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012



woot.

go dale.

Also viking do you have a twitter? (any other sascar goons have a twitter?).

Elitist Bitch
Sep 13, 2007





FuzzySkinner posted:

woot.

go dale.

Also viking do you have a twitter? (any other sascar goons have a twitter?).

I have it but i don't tweet much about NASCAR.

@elitistb

iospace
Apr 20, 2020




Grimey Drawer

Peanut President posted:

gently caress NASCAR

This but unironically

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




Love how NASCAR slipped in that 40th place earns the same number of points as anyone else in the Bottom Five. It takes a special kind of skill to mess up last place.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

and we'll all float on okay



LASTCAR posted:

Love how NASCAR slipped in that 40th place earns the same number of points as anyone else in the Bottom Five. It takes a special kind of skill to mess up last place.

That's actually a very good thing

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



"If things aren't working, Vince makes changes. 'You think you know us (the WWE)? Think again."'"

That's from the XFL 30 for 30 but Jesus, you could sub "Brian" for Vince and not miss a beat.

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




kidcoelacanth posted:

That's actually a very good thing

But but but every position matters(TM)

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

and we'll all float on okay



LASTCAR posted:

But but but every position matters(TM)

The biggest problem with the race points is that they penalize poor finishes more than they reward good ones, so making lower positions closer in points payout means that you're screwed less for blowing an engine or whatever

Slickdrac
Oct 5, 2007

Keeper of the Secret


kidcoelacanth posted:

The biggest problem with the race points is that they penalize poor finishes more than they reward good ones, so making lower positions closer in points payout means that you're screwed less for blowing an engine or whatever

Maybe they should go with a points system that makes passing for the top positions worth more than lower ones. Something like 5 points for each spot you move up through the top 5, 4 points for 6-10, and 3 points for any spot below that.

dentist toy box
Oct 9, 2012

There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.




The hell is a points systen

dsriggs
May 28, 2012

MONEY FALLS...

...FROM THE SKY...

...WHENEVER HE POSTS!


You misspelled "lovely" 3 times, OP

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008



Slickdrac posted:

Maybe they should go with a points system that makes passing for the top positions worth more than lower ones. Something like 5 points for each spot you move up through the top 5, 4 points for 6-10, and 3 points for any spot below that.

Maybe they (nascar) should just go loving bankrupt already because gently caress this stupid poo poo.

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011



Lipstick Apathy

Peanut President posted:

gently caress NASCAR

wicka
Jun 28, 2007

Single cylinder posting

Peanut President posted:

Maybe they (nascar) should just go loving bankrupt already because gently caress this stupid poo poo.

If you think this is bad, wait until you see a post-bankruptcy NASCAR that's propped up by investors desperately trying to appeal to millennials.

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011



Lipstick Apathy

wicka posted:

If you think this is bad, wait until you see a post-bankruptcy NASCAR that's propped up by investors desperately trying to appeal to millennials.

It can't be worse than death throws period Champ Car.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007

Single cylinder posting

algebra testes posted:

It can't be worse than death throws period Champ Car.

It totally can.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

That's it! You have probated me for the last time!


Lipstick Apathy

Can it be worse than Fan Boost?

Norns
Nov 21, 2011

Senior Shitposting Strategist



Ol Cactus Dick posted:

Can it be worse than Fan Boost?

Fan boost is great for comedy factor.

Cygni
Nov 12, 2005

raring to post



algebra testes posted:

It can't be worse than death throws period Champ Car.

DAYTONA BEACH, February 3, 2027 - Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole presented by "Ow! My Balls!" for tonight's SJWs Are The Real Fascists Daytona 500. NASCAR president Mike Helton praised the new 1-day format for the full field of 22 entries across all classes, all using the new for 2017 spec-1.6 Liter 4 Cylinder Chevy Cruz racecars. Oil tycoon heir and reality programming sensation Ayden Tillerson claimed pole in the Grand National Sportsman class for gentleman drivers after qualifying was marred by six accidents in class. He will start 9th in the combined field, and has been granted three Red Bull Speed Tokens and an additional Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics from in app fan purchases.

Eternal Emergency Chancellor Donald Trump has announced that all attendees for tonight's event will be screened and interlopers executed on sight. Included in the "temporary ban" are all latinos, blacks, gays, muslims, citizens of the Renegade City States of Los Angeles and San Francisco, settlers from the Cascadia Nation, anyone holding a Federate Macrostates of New England passport, and any "losers or haters".

Elitist Bitch
Sep 13, 2007





Hail Cascadia.

njsykora
Jan 23, 2012

Robots confuse squirrels.

Gonna take out a loan just to name a race the Ow My Balls! 400.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007

Single cylinder posting

Cygni posted:

DAYTONA BEACH, February 3, 2027 - Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole presented by "Ow! My Balls!" for tonight's SJWs Are The Real Fascists Daytona 500. NASCAR president Mike Helton praised the new 1-day format for the full field of 22 entries across all classes, all using the new for 2017 spec-1.6 Liter 4 Cylinder Chevy Cruz racecars. Oil tycoon heir and reality programming sensation Ayden Tillerson claimed pole in the Grand National Sportsman class for gentleman drivers after qualifying was marred by six accidents in class. He will start 9th in the combined field, and has been granted three Red Bull Speed Tokens and an additional Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics from in app fan purchases.

Eternal Emergency Chancellor Donald Trump has announced that all attendees for tonight's event will be screened and interlopers executed on sight. Included in the "temporary ban" are all latinos, blacks, gays, muslims, citizens of the Renegade City States of Los Angeles and San Francisco, settlers from the Cascadia Nation, anyone holding a Federate Macrostates of New England passport, and any "losers or haters".

At least 50% of this will actually happen.

BMB5150
Oct 24, 2010

All Aboard the Banana Boat!



Cygni posted:

DAYTONA BEACH, February 3, 2027 - Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole presented by "Ow! My Balls!" for tonight's SJWs Are The Real Fascists Daytona 500. NASCAR president Mike Helton praised the new 1-day format for the full field of 22 entries across all classes, all using the new for 2017 spec-1.6 Liter 4 Cylinder Chevy Cruz racecars. Oil tycoon heir and reality programming sensation Ayden Tillerson claimed pole in the Grand National Sportsman class for gentleman drivers after qualifying was marred by six accidents in class. He will start 9th in the combined field, and has been granted three Red Bull Speed Tokens and an additional Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics from in app fan purchases.

Eternal Emergency Chancellor Donald Trump has announced that all attendees for tonight's event will be screened and interlopers executed on sight. Included in the "temporary ban" are all latinos, blacks, gays, muslims, citizens of the Renegade City States of Los Angeles and San Francisco, settlers from the Cascadia Nation, anyone holding a Federate Macrostates of New England passport, and any "losers or haters".

Soon we'll be living in times that anime has promised us.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008



Cygni posted:

DAYTONA BEACH, February 3, 2027 - Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole presented by "Ow! My Balls!" for tonight's SJWs Are The Real Fascists Daytona 500. NASCAR president Mike Helton praised the new 1-day format for the full field of 22 entries across all classes, all using the new for 2017 spec-1.6 Liter 4 Cylinder Chevy Cruz racecars. Oil tycoon heir and reality programming sensation Ayden Tillerson claimed pole in the Grand National Sportsman class for gentleman drivers after qualifying was marred by six accidents in class. He will start 9th in the combined field, and has been granted three Red Bull Speed Tokens and an additional Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics from in app fan purchases.

Eternal Emergency Chancellor Donald Trump has announced that all attendees for tonight's event will be screened and interlopers executed on sight. Included in the "temporary ban" are all latinos, blacks, gays, muslims, citizens of the Renegade City States of Los Angeles and San Francisco, settlers from the Cascadia Nation, anyone holding a Federate Macrostates of New England passport, and any "losers or haters".

"Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics"

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Kanye West - Touch the Sky


Hmm is this still going on? Bad series

CactusWeasle
Aug 1, 2006
It's not a party until the bomb squad says it is

I'm somewhere between not caring enough any more to be bothered by whatever the gently caress NASCAR is doing and still caring enough to post in this thread to say that I dont care

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



Cygni posted:

Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole.

Speaking of which, who's ready for 2017 Daytona 500 Polesitter Dale "The Comeback Story" Earnhardt, Jr.?

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

That's it! You have probated me for the last time!


Lipstick Apathy

Jr is good enough at plate tracks to earn it on his own no problem but when it happens it's going to set off the conspiracy theorists.

So I really hope he gets it.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007

Single cylinder posting

The last time Junior won the 500 I got drat near "Steelers win the Super Bowl"-levels of excited, so yeah, let's do that poo poo.

Cygni
Nov 12, 2005

raring to post



drat, I probably shoulda worked Danica into my thing but i kinda forgot she was in the field

http://racing.ap.org/article/apnews...ued-racing-team

oh, and SHR is suing her now ex-sponsor

von Manstein
Jul 30, 2005

Panzer P.I.M.P

More bad news....

A certain 1990 Daytona 500 winner isn't gonna be in the Xfinity series this year...

"What an amazing three years.

Fielding a full time Xfinity car for the past three seasons was certainly a time we will never forget!

We are blessed to have garnered great relationships, had many new opportunities, and of course had a few great runs!

But, our time in the Xfinity Series has come to a close, along with our recent partnership with JP Motorsports.

We look forward to 2017 with renewed vigor, and will keep you all in the loop as to what our plans will be!"

LASTCAR
Mar 25, 2010

I like the drivers
you never hear about
in the cars
you never see
who finish in the position
you never want




von Manstein posted:

More bad news....

A certain 1990 Daytona 500 winner isn't gonna be in the Xfinity series this year...

"What an amazing three years.

Fielding a full time Xfinity car for the past three seasons was certainly a time we will never forget!

We are blessed to have garnered great relationships, had many new opportunities, and of course had a few great runs!

But, our time in the Xfinity Series has come to a close, along with our recent partnership with JP Motorsports.

We look forward to 2017 with renewed vigor, and will keep you all in the loop as to what our plans will be!"

drat that sucks.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16



Cygni posted:

drat, I probably shoulda worked Danica into my thing but i kinda forgot she was in the field

http://racing.ap.org/article/apnews...ued-racing-team

oh, and SHR is suing her now ex-sponsor

There's a cruel irony in the fact that one of the best marketers in NASCAR has been screwed by sponsors twice now- once by GoDaddy on the "personal service contract" she was offered as a consolation prize only to never happen (what happened with that?) and now again by Nature's Bakery who either bit off more than they could chew or were intentionally shady.

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big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

That's it! You have probated me for the last time!


Lipstick Apathy

They were probably banking on her to move a lot of product but somehow didn't figure that there isn't a lot of crossover in Nascar fans and People who eat fig bars.

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