Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
MaxPowers
Dec 29, 2004


We've all had the moment where your heart stops and you take a moment to think, " Where the gently caress is my rifle. " Did you leave it in the mock armory in the C-can? Or did you just leave it at the dfac?


I put mine between the lining of the rain guard and my tent. When I awoke it was missing! Boy I'll tell you the corporals who had it were not forgiving. Digging an L shape fighting pit in the woods is some tough work. My battle buddy sure as hell wasn't happy either. Sorry battlebuddy.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pine Cone Jones
Dec 6, 2009

You throw me the acorn, I throw you the whip!


I gave it to Garcia

MaxPowers
Dec 29, 2004


Garcia's message is you're getting a NJP, hope your uniform is in regs.

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011




Pork Pro

Loaned it to Dodd since he has more grit than I

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Oh gently caress

*runs back into dfac and grabs it off rack next to table full of SNCOs*

MaxPowers
Dec 29, 2004


Dodds post was attacked and he dual wielded the rifles. He received a slew of medals and is being put up for the MOH.

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002


I sexually identify as a fat tinder girl,

Yeah lemme just clean my pannus first.

These candles smell amazing btw


Wow, Dodd is really a hero! He must feel really awesome right now. Would this be a good time to tell him that I banged his wife while he was TAD last year?

MaxPowers
Dec 29, 2004


Dodd is an American hero, all you do is slander his wife, whom denies everything.

Your command, unit, and friends all now hate you for trying to bring a good man down.

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011




Pork Pro

MaxPowers posted:

Dodd is an American hero, all you do is slander his wife, whom denies everything.

Your command, unit, and friends all now hate you for trying to bring a good man down.

Dodd is British. Someone hasn't been reading the Commandant's list and will not be clearing PFC anytime soon, rah?

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Alright fuckstain, grab some 550 cord and make a tiedown for your loving rifle. Well how loving long is arm's length?! That's how long it needs to be.

Cut a loving hole in your shorts and attach it through that. I don't give a gently caress what you're wearing, your weapon's gonna be tied down to you at all times now.

MaxPowers
Dec 29, 2004


How dare you accuse Dodd of being british, first sgt wants to see you.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

post your weapon sn or you're a loving shitbag

7261059

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002


I sexually identify as a fat tinder girl,

Yeah lemme just clean my pannus first.

These candles smell amazing btw


10181491

I have no idea why I still remember that.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009


8675309

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


W0663657

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011




Pork Pro

I have no idea what my rifle's s/n was because I respected Greg's privacy

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



W213316

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Aall right, who left this rifle up my rear end? last night was fun n'all but you need to get your rifle out of my rear end, it;s very uncomftarble.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

Man-oh-man, Cowboy looks like a bag of leftovers from a V.F.W. barbecue. Of
course, I've got nothing against dead people. Why, some of my best friends are dead

W020305 was my M4 in Italy.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.




I see what you did there...

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

If Godzilla can do it, you know I can deliver!


Pillbug

Locked in the flight line gun rack because carrying it sucks.

Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.


What the gently caress is a rilfe

Generation Internet
Jan 18, 2009

Where angels and generals fear to tread.


64

Was the Snider-Enfield assigned to my paid reenactor nerd rear end

God help you if you drop your 150 year old antique and QM finds out about it

BUG JUG
Feb 17, 2005





W31415

Left it behind a tree during ftx but was a baby noble so nobody cared.

Radical 90s Wizard
Aug 5, 2008

~SS-18 burning bright,
Bathe me in your cleansing light~


Bottom of the gun pit we just spent all morning filling and returfing.

e]After I finished basic I found a rifle gas plug in my cleaning kit and I got scared and threw it in a dumpster. It's me I'm the shitbag.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016


When we were putting up hesco barrier on he c-o-b our PSG told us, without anything provoking him to say this, to make sure we didnt leave our rifle on top of the hesco when the dump truck came to drop dirt in them.

And it didn't really click at that point but all dumb rules and suggestions get put in because someone probably did it before, right?

Flikken
Oct 22, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it


10115678

1519151

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

I'm too dumb to get probated


7325728

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed




Grimey Drawer

W254286

ThisIsJohnWayne
Feb 23, 2007
Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!




321006

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

W014592

Radical 90s Wizard
Aug 5, 2008

~SS-18 burning bright,
Bathe me in your cleansing light~


I don't know its number, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a man's life

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013




We had some Navy Seabees at my FOB. Never really interacted with them, they had their own b-huts and just did their own thing most of the time. They'd go to Bagram from time to time when they needed to unload supplies from cargo planes.

A couple days after a resupply, our TOC got a call from one of the Air Force pilots who flew resupply missions. "Hey, are any of you missing a pistol? My guys found a Beretta on the plane, serial number blah blah blah."

Lo and behold, a Seabee left his pistol on the plane, realized it was missing when he got back to the FOB, and kept quiet because he was convinced it would turn up eventually. Meanwhile he was frantically searching every nook and cranny on the camp. I can only imagine the green (blue?) weenie got him pretty hard for that.



Somebody else left his pistol in the portashitter. This one was found by a Sergeant Major. We got a mass-blast email to everyone on the FOB "If you are missing a pistol, report to SGM xxxx to pick it up." No idea what poor soldier or sailor lost his weapon, but I'm sure they had a fun conversation with the SGM about it.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

My M9 in Korea was like a bunch of zeros and something stupidly low like 834.

It was flogged the gently caress out.

McNally
Sep 12, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?


My driver in Iraq was some dude fresh out of AIT who caught up with us after we'd been there for a couple months. Can't remember what his name was. Dude was some weird support MOS.

Constantly left his M4 laying around and I really didn't want the inevitable shitshow that would happen if he'd left it somewhere, so I was constantly telling him "keep it within arm's reach. If you're going to go talk to someone someplace else, take it with you." Yeah, it never worked.

So one night he goes to the MWR to make a phone call home and, sure enough, he leaves his M4 leaning against the wall in the little phone booth. Next guy to go in there found themselves a rifle of their own to do with as they pleased. Luckily for my driver, the next guy in was an NCO from our platoon that our platoon sergeant deferred pretty much everything to and was big on keeping discipline an in house matter as much as possible.

Then he went AWOL coming back from his two weeks of leave.

Dude's probably an E6 by now.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates



Left my rifle on the catwalk in the pits at the Quantico range. We were all lined up to leave and I was oblivious to the fact that I had left that poo poo on the hook. The safari hatted dude yelled out who left their loving rifle and I snuck out of the formation and walked up all Joe Cool and said I was throwing away the last of the trash, picked up my poo poo, and walked away.

Insecure baby NCOs are timid as gently caress

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless


W101808

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011
Chelsea Manning is a goddamned HERO


I had a raggedly A2 in boot. Never saw an arms room at AIT, another old A2 in Korea, followed by an A2 at Campbell. That didn't last, because they said, "hey we have crew serve weapons these morons can carry around" and I was handed a SAW to carry for my deployment and last year in.

Had a guy in my unit that left his rifle in his room to go shower, only for a rocket to hit the building and him to walk up all oblivious and out of uniform. He had to sneak past EOD and climb in a window to get his SAW out and back to the company building. Then there was one idiot they made carry a SAW without the bolt because he constantly forgot his weapon everywhere and he tried lighting a puddle of zippo fluid on the floor to take a picture of it in some "awesome" pattern he laid out. That formed into a puddle. So he kept spraying out more. That kept puddling.

Thank gently caress the BN CO walked around the corner and caught him mid-act with his shirt tucked into his underwear.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

I had a raggedly A2 in boot. Never saw an arms room at AIT, another old A2 in Korea, followed by an A2 at Campbell.

a2 crew for life

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011
Chelsea Manning is a goddamned HERO


I always shot at least sharpshooter (29-35/40) and mostly expert with the A2. I played with an M4 at a range in Iraq, and while I liked how it felt, I was already too used to the A2. Also played with an auto AK with a stupid jamming 75 round drum, couple random british issue weapons because they had people at our range that day. Probably my favorite day in Iraq.

  • Locked thread