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Mountaineer
Aug 29, 2008

Imagine a rod breaking on a robot face - forever
No Man's Sky is actually not bad.

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Eighty Seven
Jun 4, 2010
Hideo Kojimas stories are poo poo. They're convoluted bullshit wrapped in a crappy M. Night Shyamalan script.

Secret of Mana was crap.

Seiken Densetsu 3 was broken junk and only the mods make it good.

Final Fantasy 7 had half-assed graphics, even for the time.

The best RPG for PSX was Legend of Mana.

Firepower 2000 was the best Shmup for the SNES

Deus Ex wasn't as good as Deus Ex Human Revolution

Stanley Parable was hardly playable for someone who could do anything else they find entertaining.

Minecraft's best patch was the one that added pistons, and everything since has been poo poo that ruined PVP.

Final Fantasy 12 [PS2] was easy, and anyone who says else-wise isn't a just a filthy casual, but rather lazy and unintelligent.

Asheron's Call was the best MMO of all time from time of inception to 20XX.

The best Megaman was X3 before speed runs. Now it's whichever one make the speedrunners bitch the most.

Sonic wasn't good before or after Sonic Adventure 2 on Dreamcast.

There is not or will ever be a good free to play MMORRPG.

Microtransaction games aren't fun and cannot be.

Ugh. Games suck. I'm going to go build an aquarium. :suicide101:

Eighty Seven fucked around with this message at 12:33 on Feb 14, 2017

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.
The original Deus Ex is a bad game. Human Revolution, however, is a marked improvement in every way.

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

Zorodius posted:

The original Deus Ex is a bad game. Human Revolution, however, is a marked improvement in every way.

reported for trolling

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Dragon Age 2 is the only truly great video game with a plot.

The Phoenix Wright series and Zero Escape series would also be included, but I think considering them "games" is honestly kind of a stretch. I love them, but honestly I basically think they're books.

Eighty Seven
Jun 4, 2010

Zorodius posted:

The original Deus Ex is a bad game. Human Revolution, however, is a marked improvement in every way.

:agreed:

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

feelix posted:

The story matters zero because all video game stories are bad.

i still think the original bioshock would have been an awesome movie

it just wasn't that good of a game

Bobmuffins
Oct 10, 2016

a bone to pick posted:

the Uncharted games are loving terrible, so is The Last Of Us.

Bloodborne is extremely overrated.

these are the correct opinions

most video games would be better with the stories ripped out entirely and replaced with more focus on making the game actually fun. devil daggers takes this to the logical conclusion and it's loving awesome

feelix
Nov 27, 2016

Space Crabs posted:

The Stanley Parable is as stupid if not more stupid than the people that like it

playing Hearthstone is sadder than playing WoW, which is somehow upstaging a crying orphan in a concentration camp that had to eat her emaciated puppy to survive 20 minutes before everyone was released by American soldiers.

What would you compare watching hearthstone on twitch to

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Undertale is too loving hard. I don't even know what the experience would be like of genuinely playing it because it's too hard. It's meant for teenagers who just watch Let's Plays. There's no way on Earth I could do the fast-reaction bullet hell poo poo given any reasonable amount of time, and I shouldn't be expected to care enough to fail a boss battle more than 5 times.

Space Crabs
Mar 10, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

feelix posted:

What would you compare watching hearthstone on twitch to

I have no problem with watching other people play video games.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
I tried playing Planescape: Torment but stopped an hour in because there was too much reading involved.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Undertale is a fantastic game for what it is.

That's all.

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion

Starcraft: Brood War was so good and successful it actually completely killed the RTS genre, including sabotaging its own sequel

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

Pick posted:

Dragon Age 2 is the only truly great video game with a plot.

The Phoenix Wright series and Zero Escape series would also be included, but I think considering them "games" is honestly kind of a stretch. I love them, but honestly I basically think they're books.

The first Zero Escape game doesn't function as a book, since its big twist can only work by building on the interaction that you, the player, get accustomed to throughout the game. The rest are books, yeah.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Oh, and GTA V is better than San Andreas.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan
Diablo 3 is still a ton of fun and I am looking forward to the necromancer.

Good soup!
Nov 2, 2010

ElectricSheep posted:

I tried playing Planescape: Torment but stopped an hour in because there was too much reading involved.

for real, for all the times I've seen it listed as "one of the best games ever!!!!" people seem to have forgotten that not only is there not much of a "game" there, but what is playable is clunky and slow and boring as gently caress, if you're going to have that much reading for even just basic things that could otherwise be accomplished with the bare minimum of character animations then gently caress it, make a text adventure

IIRC regaining memories is tied primarily to intelligence? so if you wanted to play the game as a tank or any other non-intelligence focused RPG class you were hosed as far as the story goes lol, I might be wrong though

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
I tried to play Planescape Torment and it was Boring

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

I tried to play Planescape Torment and it was Boring

oh wow, the scull betrayed the purple guy. should i throw him into a hole? no, because i'm not this purple guy, so i don't really care

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Devil May Cry is the dumbest goddamn game starring the worst loving character ever made up and no, the repetitive boss battles do not make up for or even distract you from the stupid cringy bullshit that happens in the cut-scenes.

Devil May Cry 3 is also bad except for that one scene where the evil clown beats up both of those insufferable jackasses and it's best to just turn it off at that part and pretend it's the end.

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
Dragon Age Inquisition was better than Dragon Age 2.

I laughed gaily ha-ha-ha as I sent all Hawkes to their deaths and instead saved whoever that mustache guy was.

feelix
Nov 27, 2016

Pick posted:

oh wow, the scull betrayed the purple guy. should i throw him into a hole? no, because i'm not this purple guy, so i don't really care

very expensive!

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Pick posted:

I tried to play Planescape Torment and it was Boring

And yet you liked Dragon Age 2 :confused:

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Awesome Welles posted:

IIRC regaining memories is tied primarily to intelligence? so if you wanted to play the game as a tank or any other non-intelligence focused RPG class you were hosed as far as the story goes lol, I might be wrong though

There's, like, a few places where high strength or high agility gives you new dialogue options, but yeah, not that many. Pretty much everyone plays it as high intelligence or high wisdom (high wisdom is pretty interchangeable with high intelligence in most places).

Space Crabs
Mar 10, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

like a cigarette should posted:

Dragon Age Inquisition was better than Dragon Age 2.

I laughed gaily ha-ha-ha as I sent all Hawkes to their deaths and instead saved whoever that mustache guy was.

Dragon Age is the single most boring game series I've ever played.

I returned FF13 about 20 hours in because it was dumb, but Dragon Age literally put me to sleep in the middle of the afternoon.

I get that they want to prioritize the story and make the hilariously bad combat as an afterthought but the story itself is tedious as gently caress.

Oh hey I need some reinforcements for a fight? Here is what looks like a parody of RPG fetch quest chains except it lasts 8 hours, is completely earnest and you didn't even have to do it in the first place.

feelix
Nov 27, 2016

Awesome Welles posted:

for real, for all the times I've seen it listed as "one of the best games ever!!!!" people seem to have forgotten that not only is there not much of a "game" there, but what is playable is clunky and slow and boring as gently caress, if you're going to have that much reading for even just basic things that could otherwise be accomplished with the bare minimum of character animations then gently caress it, make a text adventure

IIRC regaining memories is tied primarily to intelligence? so if you wanted to play the game as a tank or any other non-intelligence focused RPG class you were hosed as far as the story goes lol, I might be wrong though

This is all true but if you still want to play it then one pro tip is to set the combat difficulty to easy and let auto-combat win everything automatically while you tune out because the combat is bad

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

deus ex invisible war was not, in fact, cancer of the anus

feelix
Nov 27, 2016

Blue Raider posted:

deus ex invisible war was not, in fact, cancer of the anus

it was an OK but the areas were too small as a concession to console gamers same with thief 3 :smug:

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Beyond Good and Evil isn't that great.

Yes, it's the safest "good game with a female protagonist" out of all of them. And it's just not all that amazing. The story is just really one-dimensional. I kept expecting a twist, and it never came. Do I really need to spend so much time proving that the very clearly evil totalitarian Empire wannabes are evil totalitarian Empire wannabes? The title is just completely inaccurate, since there's no moral ambiguity in this story at all.

Why is the main character some sort of magical alien chosen one? Why is that necessary? That's the sort of nonsense you throw into a game to explain the character's special gameplay-defining superpower. But Jade can't transform into mist, or throw people with her mind. She's just pretty physically fit, and has a camera. And there's just too much combat for a game that pretends that combat isn't the focus, too - and the combat itself is weak.

feelix
Nov 27, 2016

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Beyond Good and Evil isn't that great.

Yes, it's the safest "good game with a female protagonist" out of all of them. And it's just not all that amazing. The story is just really one-dimensional. I kept expecting a twist, and it never came. Do I really need to spend so much time proving that the very clearly evil totalitarian Empire wanna-bes are evil totalitarian Empire wannabes? The title is just completely inaccurate, since there's no moral ambiguity in this story at all.

Why is the main character some sort of magical alien chosen one? Why is that necessary? That's the sort of nonsense you throw into a game to explain the character's special gameplay-defining superpower. But Jade can't transform into mist, or throw people with her mind. She's just pretty physically fit, and has a camera. And there's just too much combat for a game that pretends that combat isn't the focus, too - and the combat itself is weak.

gay mer gate

vudan
Dec 11, 2010
Bayonetta was goofy and not that fun.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Call Of Duty has been complete dogshit since CoD 2. Not Modern Warfare 2, but the WW2 shooter, Call Of Duty 2. Bungee sucks rear end. Blizzard has been total poo poo since the activision merger and hasn't shipped a product worth the packaging it comes in since The Burning Crusade. Bioware sucks and hasn't made a dece game since Mass Effect 2. People who play RPGs to gently caress aliens or mod skyrim to have dicks and titties are creepy and lame.

TrustmeImLegit
Jan 14, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
Adding in explicitly LGBT characters does not add to a videogame in anyway. And is often used as a distraction off a poo poo game.

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

basic hitler posted:

Call Of Duty has been complete dogshit since CoD 2. Not Modern Warfare 2, but the WW2 shooter, Call Of Duty 2. Bungee sucks rear end. Blizzard has been total poo poo since the activision merger and hasn't shipped a product worth the packaging it comes in since The Burning Crusade. Bioware sucks and hasn't made a dece game since Mass Effect 2. People who play RPGs to gently caress aliens or mod skyrim to have dicks and titties are creepy and lame.

you fail to realize that cod3 was a complete shitshow of great loving fun

DICTATOR OF FUNK
Nov 6, 2007

aaaaaw yeeeeeah
little big planet is terrible horse poo poo for hipsters and british ppl

half-life 2 was mostly just ok

bethesda games bore the gently caress out of me; the longest i've ever made it was skyrim and that was like a collective 20 hours of gameplay

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Blue Raider posted:

you fail to realize that cod3 was a complete shitshow of great loving fun

I played it on the wii and it was real, real bad.

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

basic hitler posted:

I played it on the wii and it was real, real bad.

well, yeah

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

the great punchline of CoD3 was that treyarch had no idea what CoD was and made a watered down battlefield game, class based and all. they made some really loving decent levels that had vehicles (tanks and etc) that were really spawn based. it was a hosed up game, but it was really the first modern battlefield game on consoles, even before bad company 1

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Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Oni was a really fun game. Despite being one of the first games to try and blend hand to hand combat, gunplay, stealth, and platforming all into one, it got it all working really well. Even though 90% of all games try to do that these days, most don't come close.

I don't know why it's so unknown. It can't just be how Anime it is, how crummy the writing was, or how it's a giant Ghost in the Shell ripoff. Being anime as hell, being poorly written, and/or being a blatant ripoff hasn't stopped other games.

Blurry Gray Thing fucked around with this message at 06:30 on Feb 14, 2017

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