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Current Political Parties/Platforms
Sadbrain Bloc
Katy Perry Party
Independent Losers
View Results
 
  • Locked thread
Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

:siren:FAILURE TO VOTE FOR EBB WILL RESULT IN A 100,000 HOUR PROBATION:siren:

On February 28th, EBB's tenure as Idiot King of GIP will end. In order to have a peaceful, orderly and democratic transfer of power, we must begin the election season soon.

What's the plan?

First, it's time to think about political parties, starting with EBB's establishment party, which he may influence. Maybe it's the Party of Shame Cubing (or maybe that's one of his party platform topics?).

(On that note, I will arbitrarily decree that there are no term limits for IKs, but that they must wait a number of IK terms (months) equal to the number they have served before serving again. So if you have been IK once, you must take one month off. Two IK stints = two months off, and so on. At some point this means nobody will be able to be IK, since we are a dead gay internet forum with a declining population. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.)

Anyways, suggestions for other political parties: The Dog Thread, The Army Megathread, the Nuclear War Party, the Katy Perry Party, etc.

How many parties, then?
I don't care what we decide on, but one party must be the establishment.

There will be one other party, for a total of two, and to decide this, I will take into account good posts in this thread calling for a party's creation & agenda, and other posters' support. I will try to be fair in deciding this. Keep all of these discussions within this thread, please.

What's after the political parties?

Okay, once we have our two parties, we have to have primaries! We'll worry about that when we get there, but it will probably involve the creation of two poll threads.

And then?

Finally, we will have the general election between our two parties' candidates. Of course, independents and write-ins are welcome (HCT, I'm looking at you) and totally valid.

Good luck.

Thread / Event Rules:
GIP-tier chaos and zany posting is encouraged, but please refrain from all-out shitposting.

Do not make extra threads concerning this event.



Schedule

2/15 - 2/20: political party formation, debate, empty rhetoric, etc.
2/20: political parties officially named, formed.
2/21-2/23: primary season.
2/24-2/27: general election.
2/28: lame duck shenanigans by EBB, pardons, etc.

Edits/clarifications:

-joat mon now's your time to shine!
-anyone can join a party (but only one party), but if a bunch of non-regulars join one specific party it will probably harm your image
-losers of the primary and general elections have to make concessions speeches or get probated

Somebody fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Feb 15, 2017

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Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002


I sexually identify as a fat tinder girl,

Yeah lemme just clean my pannus first.

These candles smell amazing btw


I posit that a true outsider party must be created, the United Lurkers Party. Members must have less than 10 total posts in GiP, must not be immediately recognizable by name/avatar, thread creation is an instant DQ as is participation in secret santa.

The establishment party is the Sadbrain Bloc. It's an interservice coalition of barely-functional depressers, autismos, and alcoholics. Membership will be determined by number of posts in the various drunk threads.

Time Crisis Actor fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Feb 15, 2017

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.


I nominate pesticide20 for sadbrains as he has promised baked moderation and nuclear fire.

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

I'm announcing my loyalty to the Katy Perry Party :cabot:

If we achieve third party status I propose we caucus with the dogge thread or whoever is most ideologically aligned with the dogge thread.

Edit: Sadbrains Bloc is definitely the establishment party

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


My Fellow Gippers, what a ride it has been. After being robbed of a day by admin delays and recounts I took power at the helm of the Sadbrain Bloc. In these past two weeks I have have GiP great again with tighter borders, better treatment of Cole, an anti-Patriot stance, and stricter punishments for anime lovers and criminal elements. I look forward to a lively round of primaries filled with debate that will in no way be stifled by visits to the Shame Cube*.

One more month!

*all hail Shame Cube and His Divine and Unquestionable Judgement

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

I feel compelled to mention your unconstitutional executive order that was overturned by the judiciary.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


And I feel compelled to make you aware that I have nearly two weeks left and when I am re-elected to another non-consecutive month I may have more ideas.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002


Slippery Tilde

I will join whatever party says my name first unless I don't like them

Kuroyama
Sep 15, 2012
no fucking Anime in GiP


Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

I feel compelled to mention your unconstitutional executive order that was overturned by the judiciary.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

So are we allowed to post anime in the shame dungeon or not? Cause I'm voting for whoever allows that.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002


I sexually identify as a fat tinder girl,

Yeah lemme just clean my pannus first.

These candles smell amazing btw


High level sources inside of the BLOWJOBS administration are reporting that EBB is a total cuck and that he smells bad.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


If everyone in GiP is "unavailable" during election season, do I win by default?

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002


Slippery Tilde

OK I'm running as a complete independent as indicated that I should by the OP upon actually reading it, enjoy your party poo poo I"m just gonna get drunk and poo poo probably and post dad rock

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYtjpIwamos&t=7s

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Feb 15, 2017

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012


Woofer Party: anyone who owns/sees/pets a dog and or dog-like facsimile/analogue is welcome. The platform is

  • Keep GIP trill chill
  • Less probotniks for everyone except really bad posters (secret list... :D)
  • You must attest that A.C.A.B. (All Canines Are Bodacious)

I will lead the party and am open to forming a coalition with another one as long as we can agree on agendas

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

OK I'm running as a complete independent as indicated that I should by the OP upon actually reading it, enjoy your party poo poo I"m just gonna get drunk and poo poo probably and post dad rock

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYtjpIwamos&t=7s

By far the most compelling post in this thread so far.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.



Just voting for the Independents. Hopefully we will get federal funding next time...

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT



I hereby nominate myself as leader of the Coastal Elites

can't see an ocean? eat poo poo forever in poverty

Flikken
Oct 22, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it


EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

If everyone in GiP is "unavailable" during election season, do I win by default?

Definitely establishment, already trying to disenfranchise the electorate.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Voting independent, Sadbrains and Katy Perry are basically the same anyways :rolleyes:

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed




Grimey Drawer

I'm running for the Sadbrains Bloc. My platform? Death metal, black metal, and suck my dick from the back.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed




Grimey Drawer

Also GiP needs more hot rocker chick butts.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009


no mods no gods

hail satan

bengy81
May 8, 2010


ALL HAIL EBB!!!

HCT you got my vote BB

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit


Melthir posted:

I nominate pesticide20 for sadbrains as he has promised baked moderation and nuclear fire.

http://i.imgur.com/k73UI8J.mp4

As a representative of the Sadbrains I promise threetwo things:

1: Nukes
Daytime
http://i.imgur.com/RVjSpkQ.mp4

Nighttime
http://i.imgur.com/o8VfrAo.mp4

Airburst
http://i.imgur.com/kXeHcEu.mp4

Underground
http://i.imgur.com/R6oQCPg.mp4

Underwater
http://i.imgur.com/ckt2i5z.mp4

Upper atmosphere
http://i.imgur.com/OHxw97G.mp4

Russian
http://i.imgur.com/lgo0rA6.mp4

American
http://i.imgur.com/utnkFhI.mp4

Even Pakistani
http://i.imgur.com/XZJRzbm.mp4

2: All moderation by myself will be conducted only when I am extremely high.
http://i.imgur.com/lWlMbJv.mp4
Let's put the (mercifully short) reign of EBB behind us.

UP THE BUM NO BABY fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Feb 16, 2017

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.


Nostalgia4Butts posted:

I hereby nominate myself as leader of the Coastal Elites

can't see an ocean? eat poo poo forever in poverty

If this is a Yin, the Yang must be the Flyover Faction. We break bread with Real Americans and as a result understand just how hosed we all are. Platform includes enforced Climate Change Denial, boozechat and the depressing realization that I'm going to raise kids here.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



I prefer the chaos of random numbers to a popularity contest.

But I guess I'm in the gently caress Pogs party.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit


Nostalgia4Murder posted:

I prefer the chaos of random numbers to a popularity contest.

But I guess I'm in the gently caress PogsBitchmade party.

FTFY

http://i.imgur.com/OPVfi6d.gifv

UP THE BUM NO BABY fucked around with this message at 02:55 on Feb 16, 2017

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed




Grimey Drawer

kill all POGs, hang all nobles, infantry service guarantees citizenship.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



Mike-o posted:

kill all POGs, hang all nobles, infantry service guarantees citizenship.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit


Mike-o posted:

kill all POGs, hang all nobles, infantry service guarantees citizenship.

We all die in nuclear war

http://i.imgur.com/GHxybKZ.gifv

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxK_nA2iVXw

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit



http://i.imgur.com/CaP73NW.gifv

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk1dd1D2Kts

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I like what I'm seeing so far but maybe just maybe something more original than the repetition of GIP memes will get your party recognition! Or you do you boo

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit



http://i.imgur.com/tFcR5mK.mp4

Zeris posted:

I like what I'm seeing so far but maybe just maybe something more original than the repetition of GIP memes will get your party recognition! Or you do you boo

http://i.imgur.com/8Ys8Lyb.mp4

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit



http://i.imgur.com/rd7HQi5.mp4

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed




Grimey Drawer

Man I'm just a broke brain idiot who joined the army I don't know anything more than GiP memes about how I'm dead inside. If I was original and funny I would have gone to college and had a meaningful career. Besides, this recent election has shown us what the people really want is memes and populist pandering to the lowest common denominator. HAIL SS-18 SATAN.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002


Slippery Tilde

Mike-Owns

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit


Mike-o posted:

Man I'm just a broke brain idiot who joined the army I don't know anything more than GiP memes about how I'm dead inside. If I was original and funny I would have gone to college and had a meaningful career. Besides, this recent election has shown us what the people really want is memes and populist pandering to the lowest common denominator. HAIL SS-18 SATAN.

http://i.imgur.com/wYVhqHe.mp4

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UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit



http://i.imgur.com/Q2SabGP.mp4

  • Locked thread