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LIVESTREAM ON YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vaK-qUmfWw Hello, friends! It's time once again for CPAC, where the greatest minds and voices of the conservative movement gather to screech at the rest of America from their safe space at the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center. Live coverage is typically provided by C-SPAN on TV and online. I would like this to serve as the TVIV thread for the conference so the One True Trump Thread doesn't explode, maybe get a sticky once the festivities start? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c0P28cqFDY There are a lot of speakers, and they will all be varying degrees of awful! Let's start with the government/elected officials: some of these jokes I've used before, i don't care Donald J Trump - President of the United States of America, obese racist yam Mike Pence - Vice-President, suit stuffed with evangelical mashed potatoes Scott Walker - Gov of WI, ham sandwich connoisseur, Reagan fetishist Ted Cruz - Sen from TX, future corpse found on Senate floor with 99 stab wounds Stephen Bannon - Sith Lord of the White House Reince Priebus - White House Chief of Staff, competitive alcoholic John Bolton - former UN Ambassador, Yosemite Sam cosplayer Matt Bevin - Gov of KY... nothing else, just lol, he's the governor of Kentucky Sam Brownback - Gov of KS, Laffer Curve cautionary tale Doug Ducey - Gov of AZ, probably awful because he's a Republican in Arizona Pete Ricketts - Gov of NE, rich rear end in a top hat whose family owns the Chicago Cubs Rick Santorum - former Sen from PA, just google him for more info Jim DeMint - former Sen from OH, runs the Heritage Foundation and is picking all the new SCOTUS judges now David Clarke Jr - Milwaukee County sheriff, water conservation advocate A bunch of Congressmen and state-level legislators, who the gently caress cares Media and others: Sean Hannity - FoxNews and radio host, carries water all day for Trump but won't get waterboarded for charity Michael Reagan - has done nothing of note with his life other than be expelled from Ronald Reagan's spasming cock Lou Dobbs - financial reporter who is very angry about immigrants Carly Fiorina - failed executive, failed presidential and Senate candidate, tied her fortunes to cratering asteroid Ted Cruz in 2016 Mercedes Schlapp - married to the guy running this conference Dana Loesch - writes books with cover photos where she wears cocktail dresses and poses with guns Dr. Gina Loudon - blonde lady Trump advocate on CNN when they can't get anyone else Nigel Farage - former head of UKIP, hangs out here because England doesn't really want him hanging out there Wayne LaPierre - head of the NRA, definitely not jamming his dick in a gun right now As always, the best part of CPAC is the breakout meetings. This is where you get the wonderful clips like our rapping founders seen earlier! Always On Target: 2nd Amendment Activism Made Simple A Conversation with Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon (no word yet if this will take place in HELL IN A CELL) Crisis Communications Training (for when your Congressman gets caught doing the Larry Craig) The United States Must Stop Funding Palestinian Authority Pensions For Terror Russia: A Friend or Foe Black Lives Matter, so why does the Left not support Law Enforcement? 50 Shades of Property... or at least 3 ("gently caress, I need a catchy refernce for this workshop title") Prosecutors Gone Wild Who Plays God? A Conversation On Assisted Suicide Repealing Obama's Banking Monstrosity and Making Money Work Again: Making Money Great Again If Heaven Has a Gate, a Wall, and Extreme Vetting, Why Can't America? Facts, Not Feelings: Snowflakes, Safe Spaces, and Trigger Warnings Crack open a beer, or bottle of bourbon, or plastic bottle of jenkem and enjoy the vanguard of conservative thought in America! skaboomizzy has issued a correction as of 18:39 on Feb 23, 2017 |
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Feb 21, 2017 01:25
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thanks for posting this thread it's a good idea to have a thread for this and it's a good post for starting a thread for this
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Feb 21, 2017 01:27
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I'm guessing "Prosecutors Gone Wild" will probably be about Dinesh D'Souza and maybe some billionare getting in trouble for tax evasion or something rather than actual prosecutors going wild.
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Feb 21, 2017 01:32
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I am excited for CPAC and Jeb, who may or may not attend this year.
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Feb 21, 2017 01:33
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Never heard of it
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Feb 21, 2017 01:34
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Scent of Worf posted:Never heard of it Same, but from skimming the OP I hope everyone involved get aids.
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Feb 21, 2017 01:37
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skaboomizzy posted:If Heaven Has a Gate, a Wall, and Extreme Vetting, Why Can't America? oh my god
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Feb 21, 2017 01:42
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Every year I play with idea of making up a fake workshop title to see if anyone notices Then I see one like that and say no, this can stand on its own
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Feb 21, 2017 01:45
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Last years CPAC:  Even cardboard Rand Paul looks uncomfortable. My body is ready. e: No breakout session on repealing and replacing Obamacare? They really have no loving idea what to do with it now that they're in power, like a dog catching a car after years of chasing it. Mo_Steel has issued a correction as of 01:50 on Feb 21, 2017 |
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Feb 21, 2017 01:46
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skaboomizzy posted:If Heaven Has a Gate, a Wall, and Extreme Vetting, Why Can't America? new thread title lmfuckin ao
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Feb 21, 2017 01:50
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wow what a lineup!
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Feb 21, 2017 01:51
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crazy cloud posted:new thread title lmfuckin ao Wish they'd focus more on joining Heaven's Gate. 
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Feb 21, 2017 01:51
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Mo_Steel posted:Wish they'd focus more on joining Heaven's Gate. well if donald trmp sells out our nuclear defense to russia, gaius baltar style, america will be exactly like heaven in that everyone here will be dead
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Feb 21, 2017 02:02
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Sub scribed
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Feb 21, 2017 02:05
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crazy cloud posted:well if donald trmp sells out our nuclear defense to russia, gaius baltar style, america will be exactly like heaven in that everyone here will be dead I'm still ready for this upcoming Fallout VR Multiplayer game. 
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Feb 21, 2017 02:25
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time to get on M4M again
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Feb 21, 2017 02:55
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Sir Tonk posted:time to get on M4M again Oh yeah, that's right. Time to do our civic duty and dox all of the assholes.
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Feb 21, 2017 03:04
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Sir Tonk posted:time to get on M4M again Pms available
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Feb 21, 2017 03:06
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ground floor i guess
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Feb 21, 2017 03:08
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I don't know why I'm surprised by Nigel Farage but I am.
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Feb 21, 2017 03:12
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this might be the worst event in human history
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Feb 21, 2017 03:15
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Comrade Cheggorsky posted:this might be the worst event in human history Someone says this every year The next year, someone else says it
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Feb 21, 2017 03:33
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skaboomizzy posted:Someone says this every year
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Feb 21, 2017 05:04
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https://twitter.com/politics_n_prep/status/833886098082451458
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Feb 21, 2017 07:15
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I always see these threads but never post in them I remember the CPAC a while back with the 13 year old kid (who then turned into a liberal) I don't know if I'm ready for this level of depravity, but I think that bridge has already been crossed
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Feb 21, 2017 08:04
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One of my favorite CPAC memories was when the music guy played a mumford and sons song that repeatedly said "i really hosed it up this time"
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Feb 21, 2017 11:48
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this is more embarrassing than the pirate rappers on americas got talent
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Feb 21, 2017 12:01
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Mo_Steel posted:Last years CPAC: id poke the indian
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Feb 21, 2017 12:11
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Feb 21, 2017 12:37
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crazy cloud posted:well if donald trmp sells out our nuclear defense to russia, gaius baltar style, america will be exactly like heaven in that everyone here will be dead melania is a long-con Caprica-6
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Feb 21, 2017 14:00
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Feb 21, 2017 14:13
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osama bin redneck cuck
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Feb 21, 2017 14:18
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i love that rural conservatives worship these country club fuckos 
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Feb 21, 2017 14:22
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Trumps Baby Hands posted:melania is a long-con Caprica-6 lol I'm stealin this phrasing because it owns
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Feb 21, 2017 14:26
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and it's true, melania trump is a long-con caprica six, when she succeeds in passing the info that disables our MAD capabilities, Putin will launch the missiles
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Feb 21, 2017 14:27
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dedicated to the brave mujihideen fighters of louisiana
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Feb 21, 2017 14:40
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skaboomizzy posted:
So much for the tolerant right
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Feb 21, 2017 15:35
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https://twitter.com/ezraklein/status/833823240426553344 https://twitter.com/lhfang/status/833925401504157696 Goddam Ezra Klein is dense. LOOK AT THE SPEAKER LIST. THAT IS TRUMPISM.
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Feb 21, 2017 15:47
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Grey Fox posted:https://twitter.com/ezraklein/status/833823240426553344 Furthermore, what else is the right-wing but Trumpism? poo poo, they were looking for someone like him for a few years until this election.
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Feb 21, 2017 15:53
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CPAC likes to hold itself up as continuing the grand tradition of Will, Buckley, Safire, Kristol, etc In reality it's now a circus of FoxNews screechers, D-list radio hucksters, Birchers, whatever the gently caress you call the modern people crazier than Birchers, wing nut welfare authors, etc It's kind of a new pilgrimage for the hardcore College Republican chairman types I doubt they'll do it with a Republican in the WH, but there's been a Presidential straw poll the last few years. Romney won it in 2012, then Rand Paul the next three years. In that way CPAC really is a pretty good barometer for where the American right is going; absolutely no long-term plan or ethos besides gently caress YOU, PAY ME
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Feb 21, 2017 16:01
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