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Where do we begin? Here are some of my contenders: Doogal (2006) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pasJfUdj_Ko Doogal is what happens when you throw water on a grease fire. Evil film executives or whatever tried to take a mediocre British kids film and adapt it to be shown to American audiences in the wake of Shrek's success. To do this they re-dubbed the whole film (which was already in English) with a cast of despicable but recognizable Hollywood names and got them to spout as many pop culture references as possible. What was also added was a bad narrator and lines for characters that don't even speak. It is so loving bad that you would probably die if you tried to watch the whole thing. They also slapped Butch Hartman's (Fairly OddParents creator) name on it despite him having minimal impact on the film. A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner! (2011) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xRs9s46C-8 Grow up Tommy Turnbuckle is a straight-to-TV live action film about the Fairly OddParents set in a future where Timmy never lost his Fairy GodParents by exploiting a loophole in Da Rules. He basically remains a technical child by staying in the 5th grade, never finding first love, and being cast as Drake Bell from Drake and Josh. His fairies are incorporated as CG monstrosities that add little to nothing to the film despite being the fairies. Timmy must quest to avoid losing his virginity to his long lost love Tootie Frootie while also battling the evil billionare overlord Those two fuckin Titanic Movies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2dEF2aaLfY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghOKU8D-lMY The Titanic was just a misunderstanding. Talking Rats. Rapping Dog. Muscle Octopus. I think there actually might be a third animated movie somewhere.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:21
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I was shown some weird Christian made movie when I was in 8th grade called the buttercream gang. It's really awful and is about this group of kids, one moves to the city, comes back, and is a big bad bully upon his return. It's incredibly terrible beyond belief
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Feb 24, 2017 16:25
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The Phantom Menace.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:32
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Robot Jox (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 24, 2017 16:34
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The Empire Strikes Back
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Feb 24, 2017 16:35
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Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
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Feb 24, 2017 16:36
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Hardawn posted:Robot Jox gently caress you
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Feb 24, 2017 16:38
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Hardawn posted:Robot Jox gently caress you
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Feb 24, 2017 16:40
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Putty posted:
You think right, and raising the Titanic to have a dance party on it is the least crazy thing that happens in it: https://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/search-titanic/1/
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Feb 24, 2017 16:41
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Foodfight (2012) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5cAHrA8Qiw The production of Foodfight is a true mystery. The animated feature about a Charlie Sheen detective dog that does not rap was set to the be the next Toy Story, but a studio fire supposedly done in sabotage burned the whole film to shreds. it was then recreated hastily in like 5 minutes to appease the ten billion product placement sponsors that would have lost their poo poo if the movie didn't get produced anyway. I honestly think it would have been a poo poo film even if the fire never happened.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:42
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Did you know there are subliminal sex messages on The Lion King?
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Feb 24, 2017 16:42
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Kuato posted:I was shown some weird Christian made movie when I was in 8th grade called the buttercream gang. It's really awful and is about this group of kids, one moves to the city, comes back, and is a big bad bully upon his return. It's incredibly terrible beyond belief I've seen that. The kids form a christian street gang (that goes around helping old people) and the one loses his way. Christians make bad films.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:43
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Holy poo poo what the gently caress is that fairly odd parents movie. I think I'm gonna go with All Dogs Go to Heaven. Whilst it might seem like a good kids film its kinda sad and depressing then you have to tell your kid how Anne Marie was shot by her dad irl and he spent two days with the corpses of his family before offing himself.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:43
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Hoodwinked is ugly as gently caress
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Feb 24, 2017 16:43
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Moneyball
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Feb 24, 2017 16:44
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Also David Cronenberg's Crash (1996) is not a good movie for kids.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:44
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any "youtube stars" kids movies like Annoying Orange the movie or Fred the movie or Smosh the movie (all available on Netflix and all horrible beyond words) okay i only guessed about the annoying orange one but the other two are definitely real.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:50
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Animal Farm(19idk), a pathetic attempt to appeal to 90s edgelord tweens by luring innocent children in with promises of funny talk pigs running a farm, then mercilessly slay a hundred cocks in front of them Thankfully i think it flopped because it never got a squeakquel
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Feb 24, 2017 16:51
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JiveHonky posted:any "youtube stars" kids movies like Annoying Orange the movie or Fred the movie or Smosh the movie (all available on Netflix and all horrible beyond words) This is true. Wait until the Spiderman and Elsa toy channel movie.
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Feb 24, 2017 16:52
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Blackfyre posted:This is true. Wait until the Spiderman and Elsa toy channel movie. 
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Feb 24, 2017 16:52
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FutonForensic posted:Hoodwinked is ugly as gently caress I fondly remember it being another Shrek ripoff so sounds about right JiveHonky posted:any "youtube stars" kids movies like Annoying Orange the movie or Fred the movie or Smosh the movie (all available on Netflix and all horrible beyond words) fun fact: fred movie ends with fred's prostitute mom finding his real father in a gas station restroom
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Feb 24, 2017 16:55
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Baby Geniuses 3: Baby Squad Investigators
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Feb 24, 2017 16:57
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its loving gooby and it isnt even a competition
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Feb 24, 2017 17:00
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Why do you know so much about children's movies?
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Feb 24, 2017 17:01
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Jesus Christ posted:Why do you know so much about children's movies? A better response may have been: Children's movies are for children OP.
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Feb 24, 2017 17:03
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Blackfyre posted:Holy poo poo what the gently caress is that fairly odd parents movie. Or you can not tell them those details? 
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Feb 24, 2017 17:05
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Felix the Cat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUxq01jlGKA Harold Stassen fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Feb 24, 2017 |
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Feb 24, 2017 17:05
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Putty posted:Foodfight (2012)
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Feb 24, 2017 17:09
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max keebler
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Feb 24, 2017 17:09
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Kuato posted:Or you can not tell them those details? That is some Don Bluth levels of darkness, man  E: because it IS a Don Bluth movie, lol
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Feb 24, 2017 17:10
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American Tail, Brave Little Toaster were not bad movies but to this day I will not watch them because of how hosed up they made me feel- probably the closest I have to a traumatic memory. Any other kids movie I won't watch out of disinterest- these are more of a Clockwork Orange thing
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Feb 24, 2017 17:13
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Fight Club
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Feb 24, 2017 17:26
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delgo was another recent famous cgi bomb, but it's not as weird as that Scottish cgi movie about the skateboarding old man Sean Connery was in
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Feb 24, 2017 17:27
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Blackfyre posted:A better response may have been: or "what subforum do you mod?"
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Feb 24, 2017 17:34
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What was that really lovely E.T. ripoff/McDonald's commercial movie? I vote for that. e: Mac and Me
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Feb 24, 2017 17:40
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Hardawn posted:Robot Jox I hope someone glues shut your rear end in a top hat and forcefeeds you laxatives.
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Feb 24, 2017 17:43
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BirryJoru posted:What was that really lovely E.T. ripoff/McDonald's commercial movie? haha you have to watch this if you haven't seen it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bNzAgJMYVE
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Feb 24, 2017 17:43
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mac and me:  nukie:  gooby: 
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Feb 24, 2017 17:50
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cool new Polack jokes posted:American Tail, Brave Little Toaster were not bad movies but to this day I will not watch them because of how hosed up they made me feel- probably the closest I have to a traumatic memory. You wont have to worry about the first, trumps gonna ban it for promoting illicit activities
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Feb 24, 2017 17:50
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Here's my top 5 list for worst kids movies of all time: 5:  4:  3:  2:  1: 
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Feb 24, 2017 17:52
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